Quanta Bomm-13(Victor of the 103rd Hunger Games)

I never thought winning would feel so empty. I mean I've never been an overly social person but I never thought for one second that winning the Hunger Games could ever leave me feeling so empty and low. Zapp assures me all of this will pass with time but I'm not sure I'll ever feel as happy and complete as I did for the first few days in the arena. Those moments with Dargo and Luell were some of the happiest and most joyous ones of my short life and while the two of them are reunited in a place of happiness and joy I'm stuck here with the pain of their deaths and the ever-present reminder of a future as a mentor hanging over me like a shroud.

"Quanta you look absolutely beautiful. I told you your beauty could compete with your brains if you'd just give it a chance."

I can't for the life of me understand why Velicity insisted on dressing me up like this, I mean I look and feel like an overly made up doll or one of those Capitol freaks that spend enough money on surgeries and cosmetics to feed everyone in my district. Still I do have to admit that for a change I do really feel pretty, I may think I look like a freak but at the very least I'm a pretty freak.

"Thank you, I have to admit I wasn't sure about all of this but your magic took my mundane appearance and made me into something bold and noticeable. Thank you so much Velicity, for everything."

"It's my pleasure dear. After all, not everyone is privileged enough to be a victors stylist. Both of my parents spent thirty plus years in this business and only had one victor between them in all that time while I managed to land one in my third year on the job."

"I didn't know this was a family business for you."

"Of course dear, after all, it's an extremely important and rare honor to be trusted with the appearance and image of a tribute. My parents spent years preparing me for this and I'm sure they're green with envy over the rapid arrival of my first victor. Now all you have to do is mentor me another victor next year and I'll be the most successful stylist in my family, and in a family as old and well-regarded in the games as mine is that's saying something."

"So there's no pressure then?"

"Not for you dear, at least not right now. No all of this is for you so take a deep breath and drink it all in, you've earned and deserved every bit of it Quanta."

I'm not sure I agree with her on that. After all, what did I really do to deserve this besides kill six people ,including one of the closest and dearest friends I'll ever make and outlast the ones I didn't kill? Not to mention the pain of having to hold Dargo as the life drained from his eyes all the while wishing it could have been me instead of him that was slowly slipping away.

However, none of my issues are ones someone like Velicity would ever truly understand and after spending three days living with a Capitol shrink in the immediate aftermath of my games I'm not really keen on the idea of trying to get her to understand either. After all, if someone whose job it is to understand and help correct mental and emotional problems couldn't understand the guilt and sorrow I'm feeling I highly doubt that my stylist will fare much better. No this is something I'm going to have to figure out for myself so instead of talking I simply offer her as confident and energetic a nod as I can muster while conjuring up a smile that seems to put her at ease.

"Well I think we're done here but Zapp wanted to talk to you before you went on stage. Is it ok if I send him in now?"

"Um….Sure, I guess."

"If you'd rather not talk to him now I can tell him that too. You only have to do it if you want to do it."

"No, I'll talk to him. I mean we're going to be working together now so I might as well get used to it, right?"

"That's the spirit; soon we'll all be one big family. I'll send him in."

"Thank you."

I'm not sure how much I like the idea of being a 'family' with Zapp and our district escort Sagitarria but maybe they'll grow on me like Velicity did. Either way, I'll just have to grit and bear it regardless of how I feel about them personally, after all, I'm going to need Zapp's experience and Sagitarria's connections if I want to bring tributes home alive, at least until I establish my own and gain a little experience anyway.

I spend a few quiet seconds daydreaming about my lost friends while staring into the mirror in a vain attempt to figure out what exactly it is my hair is supposed to look like when a soft rapping at the door snaps me back to reality.

"Come in."

The door slides open and Zapp slips inside my dressing room with a silent nod. He's dressed in a rather dapper dark blue suit with gold trim that almost make the sour old man I know look like the charismatic and adventurous young man who won his Hunger Games all those years ago. This isn't the first time I've been amazed at the ability of nice clothes and a little makeup to totally alter someone's appearance but it is the first time I've really thought about the toll life has taken on Zapp and I can't help but wonder if I'm destined to live the same hard and unforgiving life he has.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

"I just wanted to see how you were holding up. This is a lot to throw at someone in such a short time so if you need to talk or vent to someone I'm here."

"No offense Zapp but you've never really struck me as the kind of person that's comfortable with sitting and listing to someone else talk about their problems. It's not in your nature, at least not the one on display to the people back in Three."

"I understand how you'd think that about me, and honestly, I've never been really close or open with people. Hell, even my own son got tired of how closed off and distant I was with him. My wife understood but she was alive to see me compete in my own games and because of that she never pressed me to open up about it and talk to her. Once she died though my son and I lost the anchor that kept our relationship afloat and we just, drifted apart. The only time we talk anymore is right after I come back from mentoring and give my grand kids a present from the Capitol and even that's a strain on him."

"I never knew that you had a wife let alone kids and grand kids."

"Such is the life of a victor my dear. If you're smart you'll do everything you can to shield your family from the attention of the Capitol or you run the risk of seeing your family eaten alive by your accomplishments. Scores of tributes survive the horrors of the arena only to watch a sibling or a cousin get consumed by it later. Worse are the ones that watch a child of their own fight and regardless of how it turns out it's always a tragedy."

He's right, everyone remembers how Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta had to watch their precious son die as his 'allies' ganged up on him in jealousy while the Sangster family has enjoyed nothing but success with the victor mother and father birthing and raising three victors of their own in Verity and her brothers. Still though I'm not sure what it is Zapp's offering me at this point, is he offering me help, advice or is he just pointlessly reminiscing? Well, I guess there's only one way to find out for sure.

"So how do I protect the ones I care about without driving them away like you did to your son? Are you offering to help me with this or are we just talking about stuff?"

"Yes, I'm offering to help but not in the traditional way you're probably thinking I am. The kind of help I can offer is wisdom and experience of a life spent fighting the very nature of what my life became the second I won my games. In me, you have a cautionary tale of what happens if you close yourself off and push everyone away in an attempt to save them from yourself."

"Ok, now you've lost me. What exactly is it you're saying you can do to help me?"

"I'm saying that I can be the example of what letting the fear of what could happen to your friends and family now that you're a victor control your life can lead to. I tried so hard to shield everyone I cared about from the horrors of what I'd done in the arena and all it did was drive them away in anger, but that doesn't have to be your fate. If you can find it within yourself to accept the new and often times undesirable reality that you now live in and accept that your loved ones can help you adapt to and even thrive in it then you'll have the chance to be happy, you don't have to become the lonely and miserable old fart that I did."

"That's true but that street runs both ways, Zapp. If I have to accept my new lot in life then so do you and your new lot comes complete with the love and support of my friends and family. My parents would love to get to know you and my dad will talk your ear off for hours about all the wondrous things he tinkers with in his spare time and how they can change the world, and don't even get me started on my mom or my best friend Pepper.

"What are you saying Quanta?"

"I'm saying that if you're willing to help me get through today and all the other days to come then the least I can do is give you the chance to be a part of a family again. After all, we're bound together through or shared title of Hunger Games Victor so we might as well at least try to make each other's lives a little brighter too."

"What you're offering me is a kindness I never thought I'd live to see again in my lifetime. You're a wise and noble young woman Quanta, and District Three and Panem are lucky to have you as our champion, and I'm privileged to have you as my partner and fellow mentor."

I'm not sure how to respond, this is a kind and remorseful side of Zapp I never knew existed and for the first time in my life I've been left speechless. Because I can't think of anything to say I decide to just wrap him in a hug as I do everything in my power to stop myself from bursting into tears, Velicity will kill me if I smudge my makeup so I'll just have to save the tears for the train ride home.

"So Quanta are you ready to meet your adoring fans for the first time as a victor?"

I'm not sure anyone can ever be truly ready for any of this but as long as I have someone like Zapp to help me through the tough times and the spirits of Dargo and Luell to keep me on course and steer me straight I'm confident I can make this work.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

A/N: Well everyone here's the reaction from our newest victor to her new life, it also means we're just one epilogue away from the end of our adventure and while I'm a little sad to see this one end the next one is just ahead as my newest story, Show No Mercy:The 104th Hunger Games is now accepting tributes :D

Right now I've got 20 submissions but most of those are grouped up along two or so spots and almost every submission so far has been girls so if you want to submit to it go grab the forum off my profile and send me a tribute so we can get our next adventure started, also check out the story too lol :D

Other then that please review as always and I'll be looking for all of your smiling faces at the next update of my new story and the last update of this one :)