dies irea, dies illa…
solvet sealcum in favilla
teste David cum Sybilla
quando tremor es futurus
quando judex ex venturus
cuncta stricte discusurus
This story emerged as a product of my vast selfishness and cruelty. I was probably pissed off at someone or something, which matters no more because I had had wrote this story a long time ago. It was the wretched time of poor grammar (okay, the poorer than right now). Than I used things like 'ya' and all the wrathful spelling, like 'u', 'r', and shit like that. One thing haven't changed -- I still use swear words when I run out of the decent ones.
Advocating + note: All the characters in the story bellow are rightfully thieved from JKR. Therefore sue me (joking, I have no money for lawyer). All thoughts of Draco are marked by those apostrophes around them.
________________________________________________________________
You have to lose something to grasp that the thing was dreadful losing. Those things are important. They don't really have to be big, like someone's life. Sometimes they are just an object that is important to you, like a small red lighter perhaps. Draco had not grasped this until short time ago. Lucius neither. Except maybe he didn't really have time to here on the earth know that . He probably, I mean of course, figured it out maybe in heaven, maybe in hell, but he figured it out. And now he is waiting for his son to come to him.
Draco on the other case is also sad. He is waiting for that moment to come, when he will be with his father again reunited. He was the only, but occupationally only person that ever have unconditionally loved him. His mother did, but she was never able to show him that. Lucius never let her, pushing Narcissa away from her beloved son. Draco's wife, Pansy, married him just for money and status, nothing else. They don't even talk, God bless the last time they had a conversations without blood and beating each other. The only things they say to each other are insults. She succeed to turn Draco's son, Sebastian, against his father.
That left Draco no reason to live. He still remembers, in some dark moments, what happened that night.
'It is hard to say that it was a bad thing he died. He was my father, but I always knew how bad he was. In front of others, I always denied all blasphemous deeds he sinned. But deep inside my soul, I knew how big bastard he was… just like me. Maybe we have no mercy in our acts, but deep inside our soul we never contradict those stuff. I know that God made jerks, and I am the unfortunate one. But what to do? Heaven was always too high for me. And still, I never sank that low to go to hell. But one day I will because I am misdoubting to see my father again.
'On that loathsome day, a terrible day, December the 5th, my father have died. He died… well it is hard to say it. He went somewhere, but he never even told me where (like he always does). Even after, when he confessed me everything, he told me nothing about where he went. It still perplexes me still. Oh well, it is not important anymore. The important thing was that he was injured. I found him lying in the foyer.'
Lucius was able to see only moonlight through the windowed ceiling of the manor. He didn't really feel anything, any pain. He pressed his left hand on the bleeding spot. He was determined not to ever tell anyone about what have just happened to him. He will never tell his son what have happened to him. The Dark Lord beat him up, personally, for not being able to complete him one of the cantankerous tasks. Eventually, no one was there when he did that to him so no one will ever find out the real way Lucius died. Lucius was too humiliated to tell anyone even Draco. Voldemort, he didn't really care.
-"Father" – Draco said softly when he saw his father.
-"Draco" – Lucius sighed. He hoped he would talk to his son before he dies. He knew he shall die for sure. – "I hoped I will get to talk to you before I die. There are just so many things to tell you."
-"What happened to you" – Draco came closer to his father and kneeled beside him.
-"It's none of your problem" – Lucius snapped angrily. There were much more important things to tell his son than how he got embarrassed.
-"But you have to go to the doctor" – Draco panicked hysterically.
-"Calm down" – Lucius' sharp voice rang in the chamber, causing few glass ornaments to brake. –"Listen to me…"
Draco sobbed silently avoiding looking at his father's eyes.
-"I told you about my childhood. I told you all stuff I was able to do when I was only six years old. I told you about things when I started going to Hogwarts. Now, the reason I married your mother was just one—I killed the girl I love. I did not literally kill her. I killed everything beautiful in her. And than, she is just a plain bitch, but I loved her."
-"Rita also liked me, but I just made my mind that she was too strong character to be Mrs Malfoy. I needed someone pretty, but to do what ever I tell her to. Rita Skeeter was actually pretty than, but she wanted things to be too much 'her way'."
-"You told me about her father. But still, why she was so nice to me in my grade four, when she wrote all those articles, shitting about Harry Potter?" – Draco asked clearly seeing that he was crying.
-"I pressured her. I remember the graduation day. She came to me in the dormitory, while I was alone, expecting that I'm going to go with her. I just silently exited the room, leaving her behind. Just like the lowest being on the earth, I stayed in front of the door to make sure that she is crying for what I did. I took Narcissa Bruckner with me, your biological mother. I loved someone else, too, but she is a longer saga... if she decides to, she will tell you..."
-"You find me a disgrace because I married this awful Pansy, father" – Draco started crying burying his face in Lucius' embrace.
-"I do, but I never told you that. I am a bastard because what I did that to poor Rita. And she did the same thing to me... not Rita someone else, that awful bitch..."
-"Who?"
-"You have to promise me that you shan't say anything ever again." Draco silently nodded his head, but Lucius quickly changed his mind and changed the theme muttering something about Draco's son.
-"Than my son is a disgrace?"
-"No, Draco Sebastian is the worst Malfoy ever born. His attitude is really bad. But yes, I do blame you for not being harsh enough on him. You should have tried harder" – Lucius snapped bitterly.
-"But father what can I do? That bitch, Pansy, she got him. He does everything she tells him."
-"Kill her" – Lucius responded coldly. He never realised why Draco haven't killed Pansy yet. Maybe he loved her? Even the bigger mystery for him was: why doesn't he at least let him kill her? It would do whole world a favour.
-"I told you countless times that I can't" – Draco raised his eyes, looking at his father. Lucius could see his son's eyes, too. They were grey, but tears made them silver.
-"It is your choice after all. I told you everything I wanted to. Now, allow me to die" – Lucius sighed.
-"Father, you won't die … I will call the doctor … and you will … you will be fine, I promise you" – Draco said, in highly panicking voice. When he tried to stand up so he could go and call the doctor Lucius jerked him violently, causing him to hit his knees on the marble floor.
-"You surely don't intend to tell me what to do" – Lucius snarled angrily at his son. He was dying but not forgetting to keep his crude manner. It made Draco feel miserable inside. His father was only thing that was saving him from Pansy's bad temper and monthly bitching. Once, when Pansy got mad at Draco for some reason, she threw menorah at him. Lucius was so outraged that he slapped Pansy (when she tried to get up after he beat the shit out of her). He never slapped her before (nor beat the shit out of her). Draco felt like a sissy not for the first time in his life.
-"You do have right, you know. It is your life. It is not your fault I am a sissy." – Draco was wretched now beyond all the limits.
-"Draco, you know what…"
dies irea, dies illa…
-"Yes father."
solvet sealcum in favilla
-"I just want you to know something" – Lucius said softly, making his son look him straight in his eyes.
teste David cum Sybilla
-"I want to hear it, too" – Draco said, trying to look down, but his father was holding him for his pointy chin.
quando tremor es futurus
-"I love you, son."
quando judex ex venturus
Draco gave a deep sigh, getting out of him all the trashy load sitting on his chest.
cuncta stricte discusurus
-"I love you, too father."
Words are too weak to describe the feeling Draco had. He just told a thing to his father he wanted to tell his whole life, but now he discovered that his precious father is dead.
day of wrath and doom impending
earth and heaven in ashes ending
David's word with Sybil's blending
how much does it take
when the judge descents
to gives the privileges to humans
Draco went to his father's study, or even more correct, it was his study now. Than he drunk until he didn't blacked-out.
'If hurts that I am a disgrace. Pansy always makes fool of me in front of everyone. My son finds me just a thing that he was supposed to hate. It's bad and it makes me feel like a looser, what I really am.
'Even after two years it is pretty lame to say that I forgot his death. No, I did not. And I will revenge it tonight. Not to the 'killer', his death is still unclear to me.
'I shall take it out on someone else who deserves it.'
Draco put his expensive robes on and went to one of Malfoy Manor rooms. It was the one for meeting. Two velvet blue couches were one against another, separated by an oak table. The big, white fireplace was under the insignia. The remarkable things of the insignia were two crossed swords with snakes on the handles. He called the old house elf, Stinky. Stinky entered the nice looking room, looking funny in his old and ragged so called clothes. They were so dirty, old, and tattered, that it was impossible to know what were they in the first place.
-"Master calls the Stinky. Stinky bes an good elf, so come." – The elf squeaked in his high-pitched voice and ears-ripping tone. Draco knew that his voice was naturally irritating like that, so he didn't bother to yell at him because it annoyed him. And he knew that elves are so stupid, that this misused grammar was already too hard for them to use.
-"Yeah, yeah, shut up, get me Pansy" – Draco snapped at the creature.
-"But Sire Master, the Lordess is spending some time with his male daughter, and she could not came" – elf protested. For the first time Draco saved himself from injuring the elf. He needed energy for something else.
-"Listen to me you little bastard, you will do what I say. Go and tell the bitch to come here pronto; it is emergency." – Draco stayed calm. The elf obeyed him. He left the room and after a minute Pansy came in.
She drew her eyes over Draco. He was so handsome and adorable, with manly, but still somewhat feminine touch. And indeed the robes he always wore, as Harry once said, made him look like a vicar. Black satin robes with white high collar. Under, he always wore a little silver cross, with Jesus, crucified.
-"Why the hell did you call me?" – Pansy screamed.
-"Come closer" – Draco ordered. He was standing right in front of the fireplace. She came closer, idly.
He just snatched her and kissed her. She was surprised. This kind of thing, he never did in his life. After letting go of her, as she stared at his eyes, he drew his hand over insignia, and snatched sword. She screamed, as he pushed it into her body. Right through her stomach. 'If she has to die, let it be as slow as it take … and painful, yes she has to feel all the pain she caused me.'
Pansy stared at him for a second, than collapsed on the floor, her eyes filled with silent tears, no weeping. She lied on the floor for hours, bleeding. Draco was just sitting on the couch, sadistically looking at her. 'How easy is this? I should have done this much earlier.;
-"Draco…" – Pansy whined, after long time with last energy.
ave verum corpus natum
Draco just didn't feel like answering.
de Maria Virgine
-"Draco, please" – she tried again, her voice shaking.
vere passum, immolatum
-"What" – Draco snapped. He won't have mercy on her. She didn't have any mercy on him.
in cruce pro homine
-"Are you going to forgive me?" – She asked.
cuius latus perfuratum
Draco stayed silent for a moment.
unda fluxit sanguine:
-"No" – he replayed thoughtfully, staring at the ceiling.
esto nobis praegustatum
-"God will." – She cried silently.
in mortis examine
-"You have no belief, and still, you want Got to help you." – Draco looked at her, to find her inside the puddle of the blood.
o dulcis, o pie
-"No, I'm just saying that God will forgive you" – She wondered.
o Jesu Fili Mariae
-"You have nothing to tell Me." – Draco stood up.
miserere mei, Amen
And he left the room, leaving her helpless.
The wooden doors of Sebastian Malfoy's room opened violently. He was just playing with his toy train, on the floor, when Draco kicked it. Sebastian looked up at his father and started screaming. Draco didn't have the nerves to listen to his little 'brat', so he slapped him really hard.
-"You won't cry anymore. There's no more mommy for protégé and now you will do what I say." – Draco said slowly. The little kid was cowering on the floor for the first time in his life. This was the first time his father slapped him.
-"I want her. She never slaps me."
-"Good for you. Go off to her."
The little kid stared for him for just a moment and than started crying again.
-"The only problem would be that you would stay fucken bloody after hugging her." – Draco sneered.
Sebastian was smart. He realised what his father wanted to tell him, he realised that his father killed him mother and now he will have to obey him.
-"I don't like you. Mother says you're a boar" – Sebastian said, in his trebling voice.
-"She said, but she won't say it again." – Draco smirked.
He dressed his son in identical way he dressed himself, or better said, how his father dressed him when he was little. No more colourful clothes and surroundings. They stood in front of the mirror, the walls illuminating obscurity instead of light. Draco saw a perfect little image of himself, and thought how happy he is.
Ave verum corpus…
Draco saw his identical son, his own image in other body, and the only thing he knew was:
ave verum corpushail, the true image of Christ
________________________________________________________________
hail, true image of Christ
born of the Virgin Maria,
verily suffered, sacrificed
upon the Cross for mankind
from whose pierced side
flow water and blood,
that we may have a foretaste
of our death
most gracious, most holy
Jesus son of Maria
have mercy upon me, Amen
solvet sealcum in favilla
teste David cum Sybilla
quando tremor es futurus
quando judex ex venturus
cuncta stricte discusurus
This story emerged as a product of my vast selfishness and cruelty. I was probably pissed off at someone or something, which matters no more because I had had wrote this story a long time ago. It was the wretched time of poor grammar (okay, the poorer than right now). Than I used things like 'ya' and all the wrathful spelling, like 'u', 'r', and shit like that. One thing haven't changed -- I still use swear words when I run out of the decent ones.
Advocating + note: All the characters in the story bellow are rightfully thieved from JKR. Therefore sue me (joking, I have no money for lawyer). All thoughts of Draco are marked by those apostrophes around them.
________________________________________________________________
You have to lose something to grasp that the thing was dreadful losing. Those things are important. They don't really have to be big, like someone's life. Sometimes they are just an object that is important to you, like a small red lighter perhaps. Draco had not grasped this until short time ago. Lucius neither. Except maybe he didn't really have time to here on the earth know that . He probably, I mean of course, figured it out maybe in heaven, maybe in hell, but he figured it out. And now he is waiting for his son to come to him.
Draco on the other case is also sad. He is waiting for that moment to come, when he will be with his father again reunited. He was the only, but occupationally only person that ever have unconditionally loved him. His mother did, but she was never able to show him that. Lucius never let her, pushing Narcissa away from her beloved son. Draco's wife, Pansy, married him just for money and status, nothing else. They don't even talk, God bless the last time they had a conversations without blood and beating each other. The only things they say to each other are insults. She succeed to turn Draco's son, Sebastian, against his father.
That left Draco no reason to live. He still remembers, in some dark moments, what happened that night.
'It is hard to say that it was a bad thing he died. He was my father, but I always knew how bad he was. In front of others, I always denied all blasphemous deeds he sinned. But deep inside my soul, I knew how big bastard he was… just like me. Maybe we have no mercy in our acts, but deep inside our soul we never contradict those stuff. I know that God made jerks, and I am the unfortunate one. But what to do? Heaven was always too high for me. And still, I never sank that low to go to hell. But one day I will because I am misdoubting to see my father again.
'On that loathsome day, a terrible day, December the 5th, my father have died. He died… well it is hard to say it. He went somewhere, but he never even told me where (like he always does). Even after, when he confessed me everything, he told me nothing about where he went. It still perplexes me still. Oh well, it is not important anymore. The important thing was that he was injured. I found him lying in the foyer.'
Lucius was able to see only moonlight through the windowed ceiling of the manor. He didn't really feel anything, any pain. He pressed his left hand on the bleeding spot. He was determined not to ever tell anyone about what have just happened to him. He will never tell his son what have happened to him. The Dark Lord beat him up, personally, for not being able to complete him one of the cantankerous tasks. Eventually, no one was there when he did that to him so no one will ever find out the real way Lucius died. Lucius was too humiliated to tell anyone even Draco. Voldemort, he didn't really care.
-"Father" – Draco said softly when he saw his father.
-"Draco" – Lucius sighed. He hoped he would talk to his son before he dies. He knew he shall die for sure. – "I hoped I will get to talk to you before I die. There are just so many things to tell you."
-"What happened to you" – Draco came closer to his father and kneeled beside him.
-"It's none of your problem" – Lucius snapped angrily. There were much more important things to tell his son than how he got embarrassed.
-"But you have to go to the doctor" – Draco panicked hysterically.
-"Calm down" – Lucius' sharp voice rang in the chamber, causing few glass ornaments to brake. –"Listen to me…"
Draco sobbed silently avoiding looking at his father's eyes.
-"I told you about my childhood. I told you all stuff I was able to do when I was only six years old. I told you about things when I started going to Hogwarts. Now, the reason I married your mother was just one—I killed the girl I love. I did not literally kill her. I killed everything beautiful in her. And than, she is just a plain bitch, but I loved her."
-"Rita also liked me, but I just made my mind that she was too strong character to be Mrs Malfoy. I needed someone pretty, but to do what ever I tell her to. Rita Skeeter was actually pretty than, but she wanted things to be too much 'her way'."
-"You told me about her father. But still, why she was so nice to me in my grade four, when she wrote all those articles, shitting about Harry Potter?" – Draco asked clearly seeing that he was crying.
-"I pressured her. I remember the graduation day. She came to me in the dormitory, while I was alone, expecting that I'm going to go with her. I just silently exited the room, leaving her behind. Just like the lowest being on the earth, I stayed in front of the door to make sure that she is crying for what I did. I took Narcissa Bruckner with me, your biological mother. I loved someone else, too, but she is a longer saga... if she decides to, she will tell you..."
-"You find me a disgrace because I married this awful Pansy, father" – Draco started crying burying his face in Lucius' embrace.
-"I do, but I never told you that. I am a bastard because what I did that to poor Rita. And she did the same thing to me... not Rita someone else, that awful bitch..."
-"Who?"
-"You have to promise me that you shan't say anything ever again." Draco silently nodded his head, but Lucius quickly changed his mind and changed the theme muttering something about Draco's son.
-"Than my son is a disgrace?"
-"No, Draco Sebastian is the worst Malfoy ever born. His attitude is really bad. But yes, I do blame you for not being harsh enough on him. You should have tried harder" – Lucius snapped bitterly.
-"But father what can I do? That bitch, Pansy, she got him. He does everything she tells him."
-"Kill her" – Lucius responded coldly. He never realised why Draco haven't killed Pansy yet. Maybe he loved her? Even the bigger mystery for him was: why doesn't he at least let him kill her? It would do whole world a favour.
-"I told you countless times that I can't" – Draco raised his eyes, looking at his father. Lucius could see his son's eyes, too. They were grey, but tears made them silver.
-"It is your choice after all. I told you everything I wanted to. Now, allow me to die" – Lucius sighed.
-"Father, you won't die … I will call the doctor … and you will … you will be fine, I promise you" – Draco said, in highly panicking voice. When he tried to stand up so he could go and call the doctor Lucius jerked him violently, causing him to hit his knees on the marble floor.
-"You surely don't intend to tell me what to do" – Lucius snarled angrily at his son. He was dying but not forgetting to keep his crude manner. It made Draco feel miserable inside. His father was only thing that was saving him from Pansy's bad temper and monthly bitching. Once, when Pansy got mad at Draco for some reason, she threw menorah at him. Lucius was so outraged that he slapped Pansy (when she tried to get up after he beat the shit out of her). He never slapped her before (nor beat the shit out of her). Draco felt like a sissy not for the first time in his life.
-"You do have right, you know. It is your life. It is not your fault I am a sissy." – Draco was wretched now beyond all the limits.
-"Draco, you know what…"
dies irea, dies illa…
-"Yes father."
solvet sealcum in favilla
-"I just want you to know something" – Lucius said softly, making his son look him straight in his eyes.
teste David cum Sybilla
-"I want to hear it, too" – Draco said, trying to look down, but his father was holding him for his pointy chin.
quando tremor es futurus
-"I love you, son."
quando judex ex venturus
Draco gave a deep sigh, getting out of him all the trashy load sitting on his chest.
cuncta stricte discusurus
-"I love you, too father."
Words are too weak to describe the feeling Draco had. He just told a thing to his father he wanted to tell his whole life, but now he discovered that his precious father is dead.
day of wrath and doom impending
earth and heaven in ashes ending
David's word with Sybil's blending
how much does it take
when the judge descents
to gives the privileges to humans
Draco went to his father's study, or even more correct, it was his study now. Than he drunk until he didn't blacked-out.
'If hurts that I am a disgrace. Pansy always makes fool of me in front of everyone. My son finds me just a thing that he was supposed to hate. It's bad and it makes me feel like a looser, what I really am.
'Even after two years it is pretty lame to say that I forgot his death. No, I did not. And I will revenge it tonight. Not to the 'killer', his death is still unclear to me.
'I shall take it out on someone else who deserves it.'
Draco put his expensive robes on and went to one of Malfoy Manor rooms. It was the one for meeting. Two velvet blue couches were one against another, separated by an oak table. The big, white fireplace was under the insignia. The remarkable things of the insignia were two crossed swords with snakes on the handles. He called the old house elf, Stinky. Stinky entered the nice looking room, looking funny in his old and ragged so called clothes. They were so dirty, old, and tattered, that it was impossible to know what were they in the first place.
-"Master calls the Stinky. Stinky bes an good elf, so come." – The elf squeaked in his high-pitched voice and ears-ripping tone. Draco knew that his voice was naturally irritating like that, so he didn't bother to yell at him because it annoyed him. And he knew that elves are so stupid, that this misused grammar was already too hard for them to use.
-"Yeah, yeah, shut up, get me Pansy" – Draco snapped at the creature.
-"But Sire Master, the Lordess is spending some time with his male daughter, and she could not came" – elf protested. For the first time Draco saved himself from injuring the elf. He needed energy for something else.
-"Listen to me you little bastard, you will do what I say. Go and tell the bitch to come here pronto; it is emergency." – Draco stayed calm. The elf obeyed him. He left the room and after a minute Pansy came in.
She drew her eyes over Draco. He was so handsome and adorable, with manly, but still somewhat feminine touch. And indeed the robes he always wore, as Harry once said, made him look like a vicar. Black satin robes with white high collar. Under, he always wore a little silver cross, with Jesus, crucified.
-"Why the hell did you call me?" – Pansy screamed.
-"Come closer" – Draco ordered. He was standing right in front of the fireplace. She came closer, idly.
He just snatched her and kissed her. She was surprised. This kind of thing, he never did in his life. After letting go of her, as she stared at his eyes, he drew his hand over insignia, and snatched sword. She screamed, as he pushed it into her body. Right through her stomach. 'If she has to die, let it be as slow as it take … and painful, yes she has to feel all the pain she caused me.'
Pansy stared at him for a second, than collapsed on the floor, her eyes filled with silent tears, no weeping. She lied on the floor for hours, bleeding. Draco was just sitting on the couch, sadistically looking at her. 'How easy is this? I should have done this much earlier.;
-"Draco…" – Pansy whined, after long time with last energy.
ave verum corpus natum
Draco just didn't feel like answering.
de Maria Virgine
-"Draco, please" – she tried again, her voice shaking.
vere passum, immolatum
-"What" – Draco snapped. He won't have mercy on her. She didn't have any mercy on him.
in cruce pro homine
-"Are you going to forgive me?" – She asked.
cuius latus perfuratum
Draco stayed silent for a moment.
unda fluxit sanguine:
-"No" – he replayed thoughtfully, staring at the ceiling.
esto nobis praegustatum
-"God will." – She cried silently.
in mortis examine
-"You have no belief, and still, you want Got to help you." – Draco looked at her, to find her inside the puddle of the blood.
o dulcis, o pie
-"No, I'm just saying that God will forgive you" – She wondered.
o Jesu Fili Mariae
-"You have nothing to tell Me." – Draco stood up.
miserere mei, Amen
And he left the room, leaving her helpless.
The wooden doors of Sebastian Malfoy's room opened violently. He was just playing with his toy train, on the floor, when Draco kicked it. Sebastian looked up at his father and started screaming. Draco didn't have the nerves to listen to his little 'brat', so he slapped him really hard.
-"You won't cry anymore. There's no more mommy for protégé and now you will do what I say." – Draco said slowly. The little kid was cowering on the floor for the first time in his life. This was the first time his father slapped him.
-"I want her. She never slaps me."
-"Good for you. Go off to her."
The little kid stared for him for just a moment and than started crying again.
-"The only problem would be that you would stay fucken bloody after hugging her." – Draco sneered.
Sebastian was smart. He realised what his father wanted to tell him, he realised that his father killed him mother and now he will have to obey him.
-"I don't like you. Mother says you're a boar" – Sebastian said, in his trebling voice.
-"She said, but she won't say it again." – Draco smirked.
He dressed his son in identical way he dressed himself, or better said, how his father dressed him when he was little. No more colourful clothes and surroundings. They stood in front of the mirror, the walls illuminating obscurity instead of light. Draco saw a perfect little image of himself, and thought how happy he is.
Ave verum corpus…
Draco saw his identical son, his own image in other body, and the only thing he knew was:
ave verum corpushail, the true image of Christ
________________________________________________________________
hail, true image of Christ
born of the Virgin Maria,
verily suffered, sacrificed
upon the Cross for mankind
from whose pierced side
flow water and blood,
that we may have a foretaste
of our death
most gracious, most holy
Jesus son of Maria
have mercy upon me, Amen