Last Time On Love Potion Number 9:

The light went away and the brunette brought her hands down. She waited for her eyes to get used to her surroundings and once they did she looked for Quinn.

Her eyes bulged out and her eyebrows shot to her hairline as she gaped at what she was seeing.

On her couch was a teenage boy with long blonde hair and he was wearing the exact dress that Quinn was wearing not even a minute ago.

She felt faint as she came to the only solid conclusion to all of this.

She turned Quinn Fabray into a man.

Chapter 2: So The Freak Out Begins

"Oh my Barbara!" She shrieked as she looked at the once female form of her adversary in romance. 'What in the world happened!?'

It had to be Quinn, but at the same time it certainly wasn't! She….he….Quinn was still lying passed out on the couch and was actually looking a lot healthier than earlier. There was some color to the blonde's cheeks. So that was a plus.

"Well besides the fact that she became a man, she's the spitting image of health." She muttered darkly to herself. There was no way that she wanted to wake her….him….Quinn up before she had a handle on the situation.

She gripped her hair tightly on top of her head. The only problem is that she really doesn't have the situation under control. If she doesn't figure this out then Quinn will kill her.

Another thought seemed to cross her mind as she was slowly starting to hyperventilate. 'Maybe this is all in my head. Yeah maybe I'm asleep and this is just some horrible dream.' She started nodding her head in agreement with her thoughts. 'Yes I'm sure that if I went over to Quinn and touched her….him…Dammit I don't know how to address her…him…Gah!…in the face then they'll disappear.'

Looking wearily at the blonde, who looked really uncomfortable in the now super tight and drastically shorter dress, she made her way over to them. (She gives up trying to address Quinn by anything other than their name; her mind is already on the fritz.)

As she looked down at the blonde she was a little surprised to see just how attractive Quinn is as a man. It still looked like the blonde, but where soft features were supposed to be there were hard lines instead and a strong jaw. It was like a cross between that superhero Hemsworth brother (She never could get their names right.) and Westley from the Princess Bride (That was her all-time favorite movie that wasn't a musical.). 'It's really not fair. She's gorgeous as a female and now as a man he's breathtaking. Arrgg…it's not right. What are Fabray genes really made of, fairy dust?'

Shaking her head from her thoughts the brunette got right back to the matter at hand. Proving that this was all some horrible dream and she'll wake up at any minute.

Slowly she reached out and ever so gently poked Quinn in the cheek. The blonde grunted (It sounded really deep, definitely not a feminine sound) and tried to swat the annoying hand away.

Instantly Rachel pulled her hand away and felt her panic start to come back in full force. This is really happening.

Quinn's a man.

Quinn's a man and she will surely strangle her with those manly hands. (The irony wasn't lost on her. If she wasn't so scared of dying then she would tease Quinn when she/he woke up.)

The brunette crept away from the slumbering blonde and tried to form a plan. 'Okay so this is not something I can take on, on my own. I'm going to need help. Plus if Quinn does kill me then there will be a witness. So there's that.'

She went into the other room and grabbed her cellphone and dialed the number of the one person that she could trust. (More like the one person that can tolerate her but who's that technical.)

The phone went to voicemail a few times and just as she was on her 20th call someone answered on the other line. "This better be important Rachel, I'm in the middle of moisturizing." Kurt Hummel said on the other line of the phone. She heard giggling in the background and figured that he was doing anything other than keeping up with his hygiene.

"Well I really hope Blaine gets those hard to reach places." She dryly remarked.

His breath hitched and she smirked. "You have 3 seconds to tell me what you want or I'm hanging up."

"I need your help."

"That's not a good enough excuse." Kurt said and he sounded annoyed. "Bye Rachel."

Just as he was about to hang up the brunette tried to get his attention back. "Wait! Wait! Don't go! This is an emergency."

Her shrill voice and the urgency must have caught his attention. "What's going on?" His nosiness was outweighing his desire to make out with his boyfriend and thank god for that. Well not for Blaine, that seemed unfortunate for him. "Who stole your solo this time?"

She had to fight the urge to scream at him because she needed him. "This isn't about the glee club." She responded still conveying a sense of urgency. "I can't say it over the phone."

Now she knew that she really caught his interest. "How bad are we talking here?"

"Like someone robbing Barbara of her Tony bad." They never joked about their love of all things Barbara Streisand so Kurt knew she meant business.

"I'll be over in 15." Was his short reply.

"Good and come alone." She hung up her phone and tried taking deep breaths. 'This is all going to work out in the end.' She repeated over and over, hoping if she says it enough then it will come true.

Kurt made it over in record time and quickly entered her home. His lips were a little swollen still, but he refused to tell her what he was up too even though she had a sneaking suspicion.

His eyebrows shot up when he saw Quinn lying on the couch. "I'm not one to judge but you do know that there is a drag queen on your couch. I'm assuming this is the emergency?" He leaned over and got a good look at the face. "He's pretty cute."

Rachel wrung her hands together as she looked nervously at Kurt. "Yes but it's a bit more complicated than that."

She led him over to her kitchen and they sat down at the table. It was silent between the two as Kurt glanced into the living room every now and then, and Rachel tried to summon up the courage to speak.

"So you know that Finn's back together with Quinn right?" She asked trying to work her way to the truth and not sound like she is insane.

He rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Unfortunately. Everyone in the house can hear them arguing."

She tried not to let the excitement of this news cloud her mind (I knew they were terrible together) and pressed forward. "Anyway I've haven't been taking the news well." Even she knew that that was the understatement of the year. "So I devised a plan to win back Finn's heart."

Before she could go on Kurt grabbed her hand and interrupted her. "Rachel you need to move on. There's more to life than Finn." He pulled his hand away and looked at her sympathetically. "I honestly don't understand how he keeps convincing you and Quinn to keep dating him. It's like an endless merry go round."

'Now he's starting to sound like Quinn.' She pursed her lips in distaste, but didn't say anything because she had bigger problems.

She stood up and went to the counter to retrieve the potion book. "Before you rudely interrupt me again let me finish the story." Rachel pretended that she didn't see him rolling his eyes and took a seat, placing the book between them. "While I was cleaning the attic I came across this spell book."

Kurt's eyes widened in disbelief, already figuring out where this going. "You decided to slip a potion to him. I'm not even going to comment on how insane you sound."

She took that as her cue to continue. "There was a slight problem. He bought Quinn a drink too and I had no idea which one was which so I picked one." He looked at her intently and she met his eyes conveying how serious she was. "I chose wrong."

"So where is she now?" He knew that he shouldn't have answered the damn phone. Now he was getting caught up in Rachel's schemes again. She really was a little too crazy for him.

"In the other room." She pointed in the direction of the living room.

"No, the only person I saw was the drag queen." Kurt replied in confusion. He could have been wrapped up in Blaine's arms but instead he had to humor Rachel. She really needed to get out more.

Rachel started fidgeting nervously in her seat. "The drag queen is Quinn." She looked into his eyes completely serious. "The potion turned her into a man."

He started laughing at her. Honestly he couldn't help himself, this had to be some sort of weird joke, but then he looked back at Rachel and noticed that she was stilling looking super grim. Like someone told her that she can only have one solo a week. "Oh my god you really believe this."

"I saw it with my own eyes. Quinn turned into a man and she is going to murder me." Rachel's voice was starting to sound hysterical.

"Calm down for a second. Don't freak out." He held his arms up cautiously like she was some kind of wild animal. It took her a few minutes to get her emotions under control but once she did Kurt started talking again. "So let me humor you for a minute and say that I actually believe you. What made you believe that you turned Quinn Fabray into a man?"

Rachel went to explain what happened after Quinn ingested the potion and Kurt listened intently. To be honest the story seemed a little farfetched to him especially the bright light that apparently 'transformed' Quinn. A little too beauty and the beast for his tastes. He didn't even believe in God, let alone magic potions that can change your gender.

Then he asked the question of the hour. "Was that what the potion was supposed to do?"

She opened her mouth to reply but then she stopped herself. She looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know I'm not quite sure."

"What do you mean you're not quite sure?" He demanded mimicking her voice to prove a point.

The brunette felt the blood rush to her cheeks as she realized a huge error in her plan. "I never actually read what the potion was supposed to do."

Kurt just stared at her in disbelief, wondering how on Earth he managed to score Rachel Berry as his best friend. He loved the girl, but at times like these this was too much. "So you mean to tell me that you willingly created a potion and willingly poured it into some else's drink, but you have no idea what it does or how dangerous it could be. This is insane even for someone as drama queenish as you."

She scowled at him, not really a fan of his tone. "Look I know that I screwed up. I should have known better."

"Well, where's the page that shows what it does?"

They opened the book and Rachel found the page for True Love's potion. Together they read what the potion is supposed to do.

True Love is designed to help the drinker realize who they are destined to be with by changing them into the opposite sex and having them seek out the one that can love them for who they are and not what they look like. In order to reverse the spell, the inflicted has to have true love's kiss or they will remain stuck as that gender forever more.

"Rachel it says what it does in the first sentence!" Kurt exclaimed rereading the passage again. "How did you miss it?"

"To be honest all I saw was true love and destined. I kind of skipped the rest of it." She replied guiltily. She can't help it if her mind just zeroes in on certain words. She has a laser focus attention span.

Kurt glanced at the ingredients and blanched. "This requires blood of a virgin! How the hell did you think using blood would make this a harmless potion?" She can't be that naïve? To be fair though, this is Rachel Berry were talking about here; who let him turn her into a sad clown hooker.

"I didn't think that a potion called True Love would be bad." Rachel tried to explain her reasoning but even she knew that this was more or less one of her worst ideas ever. Even sending a girl to a crack house doesn't top this. 'Maybe I should reevaluate my plans a little better. Have PowerPoints of PowerPoints.'

"Magic always comes with a price. Especially magic that requires blood." Kurt said trying to keep himself from shouting. He was still on the fence about this whole thing, but if Rachel was telling the truth (As if) then he really needs to start questioning her ability to think logically. If she wasn't then he needs to get her committed or take her to a spa to relax. He did need a touch up on his nails.

"Kurt this isn't some fairy tale that has dire consequences and a life lesson at the end of the story. This is real life we're talking about."

This day honestly couldn't get any weirder. He just couldn't understand why Rachel would resort to magic to get his stepbrother back. How on Earth was that going to end well? "You were going to give it to Finn. You were planning on turning him into a girl."

Rachel shook her head miserably. "I didn't know what it would do."

He reread the passage and noticed something that they might have overlooked. "Since you didn't bother to read the whole paragraph Quinn's going to be stuck as a man forever."

The brunette looked confused and looked the page over, studying it carefully. "No it says that true love's kiss will reverse the effects."

"Do you honestly think that you can find true love as a teenager in Lima, Ohio?" He asked rhetorically not really waiting for an answer. He looked up towards the ceiling and waved his arm across his body and said dramatically. "Lima, Ohio where hopes and dreams come to die."

Rachel didn't bother to indulge in his theory because this was her pity party not his. "Well Quinn has to find true love and break the spell, or I just bought my ticket to my untimely demise."

Kurt waved her off. "Let's be real here Rachel. If you're telling the truth and that really is Quinn Fabray then she's going to do more than just kill you." Rachel gulped as he leaned back in his chair and listed off examples on his hand. "She'll definitely maim and torture you first, and then she might strangle you a little bit. After that she'll call Santana and then she'll maim and torture you all the while calling you colorful names like Hobbit or short stack." Rachel was starting to feel really queasy all of a sudden. Why isn't a window open? "I always imagined that Santana has a personal torture chamber for occasions like this. I bet you anything that she would…"

Rachel slammed her head on the table in defeat as Kurt kept listing off all the colorful ways that Quinn (and Santana) was going to kill her. She'll give him an A+ for being imaginative.

(A/N Thank you all for the reviews. They really are a motivation to keep writing so thank you. I was surprised at how fast the comments kept coming and it was only the first day. Yeah I know it's pretty short but I wanted to pump out another chapter before I got started with all my homework. (My priorities are downright horrible sometimes.) To ease all your minds yes this is going to be Faberry. There might be a little Quinntana on the side for plot purposes but the endgame is Faberry.

Special thank you to the guest that pointed out that Dianna Agron has a brother. I wasn't aware that she had one and on a side note he's cute too. So if you want to picture what Quinn would look like as a man then google her brother. For story purposes though I can't just say 'Hey she looks like some actresses brother' so Rachel will think that Quinn resembles a cross between Chris Hemsworth and Westley from the Princess Bride. I'm not one to kill imagination so if you think someone looks better than those choices then picture that.

Now you all know what the potion does. So this should be interesting for Quinn when she (now a he) finally wakes up. Let's be honest she will not be taking the news very well when she wakes up in the next chapter. Please keep reading and reviewing.)