Hello everyone and welcome to this new fanfiction! I am very excited to share it with you.

Situation: I'm working on it since the beginning of season 4 (ie since October), so I have not changed the other storylines that went around this season:

-Patterson isn't in the story (as I didn't like him first, and then I supposed that Severide would have his place back and Patterson would have left the group). So is Riddle by the way.

-Hermann had never get stabbed and all the history with Freddy has not occurred.

-Gabby had the miscarriage (I've added this storyline after starting the story).

What about the history of this story? A call turns into tragedy for 51. All the barracks in shock, especially those who saw the disaster (you will see by reading the first chapter), firefighters must handle it (the drama, I said). But some of them more difficult to manage the post-drama (those who saw what happened). 51 barracks is a big family, but is that everyone will be there for each other or will they forget some firefighters?

This story will therefore be based on the side that we almost never see about firemen: we see them all as super heroes, but they are as human as us, and they also may have difficulties to face what they can see on their job.

Disclaimers: I don't own any character on this story who appeared or is appearing on the three shows (Chicago Fire, PD and Med).

General: I have to thank above all Milady29 Sarrabr4 to help me in this fanfiction (they are my betas), especially to correct the mistakes that I can do (because I know I do): I am French, and before June 2015, english and I weren't on very good terms. And writing fanfiction helped and helps me to improve my english and discover new horizons.

Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this story and you will take as much pleasure to read it as I have to write it.

Have a great evening!

Chapter 1: A bad call

It was 10am and the firefighters of the firehouse 51 had received their first call: a building on fire in the neighboring suburb of Chicago. Everybody hurried to put on their gear, get in their trucks and arrived on scene as soon as possible. Every call, just a second could change everything, and everybody knew that. This was one of the first rules they learned at the firefighter Academy. Once on their trucks, they sped to the address given by main. Trucks at full speed, sirens wailing in the streets of Chicago, truck 81 and battalion 25 were first, as usual. They were followed by squad 3, then ambulance 61. The engine guys were a little further behind: coming from the other side of the firehouse, they had to take another way to arrive on scene. Inside the fire truck, lieutenant Casey began to give his orders, knowing perfectly that the engine guys were a few minutes out.

"Mouch, Borelli, stay outside to place our own hoses the time for engine 51 to come. Dawson, Otis, stay together to vent the roof, and you'll help the engine guys when they'll arrive. I'll be with Hermann. If squad needs help, stay together to help us".

"Copy".

Inside the squad truck, it was the same speech.

"Cruz, Tony, stay together to do the search and rescue. I'll stay with Capp".

"On it".

Severide and Casey were like twins: it seemed like they knew what the other was thinking without any gesture, without seeing each other. They just needed to know something else: what kind of building it was. Because depending of the building, squad and truck didn't coordinate in the same way. Chief Boden arrived on scene, having a faster car than the fire trucks. He got out his car and observed the structure catching fire. He gripped his radio to talk to his men and explain what was happening.

"It's a four floors building, including the main floor. It's totally on fire. Potentially sixteen apartments".

The chief turned to one of the people he saw getting out of the building, running and coughing. He grabbed his arm to hold him and put him out of any danger.

"How many are still inside?"

"I don't know", the man said coughing. "Lot of people are working today, but there's no school".

The expression on Boden's face changed suddenly. This call was one of those that all firefighters feared: when children are still inside a burning structure. Because their little lungs couldn't deal with the smoke very well, this made them die even faster. The sirens of fire trucks came to his ears, finally signaling their arrival. Once out of them, Boden sped on them.

"We don't know how many victims are still inside but there should have children, so hurry".

Hermann and Casey were the first to nod, knowing that time was running out. And being parents or almost having been, it tore their heart to know that children were in danger. Squad 3 came and Boden explained again what he told Casey and his men. Severide turned to the truck lieutenant.

"We do it as usual?"

Casey nodded.

"Yeah. Join on first floor".

"Alright".

Even it was nearly six months he worked at the firehouse 51 and under Casey's commands, Borelli was still amazed at how the two lieutenants were working together when they were called on structure fires. They just had to know what kind of building they were going to enter, and without consulting each other, they had one strategy in place. Curious and lost, he turned to Mouch for some explanations.

"As usual? What does that mean Mouch?"

Grabbing one of the hoses, Mouch smiled and laughed at the same time.

"Tony will begin search on the last floor with Cruz, Severide and Capp will go on the second floor, Casey and Hermann will do the search on the main floor. And the three teams will do the search and rescue on the first floor together. Each floor is checked on clockwise".

Borelli was amazed to see the lieutenants coordinating their efforts well and with ease.

"They have worked together since fifteen years, so they have had time to figure out their strategies", Mouch added, seeing Borelli puzzled and thinker.

He nodded and came to help him to place the hoses while the other firefighters were coming inside the building. Hopefully, there weren't any escalators. They weren't seeing anything, even on their knees. But despite this, they needed to move forward. Squad 3 found their way with their torches to go up the floors while Casey and Hermann made their search on the main floor. Both of them took an apartment and pushed the door open.

"Fire department, call out!"

But nobody responded. To be sure to not forget someone, they checked every room one by one and checked another apartment. The two other teams did the same, getting a dozen of people out of the building while Dawson and Otis were venting the roof. Once done, they came down the ladder and came to help the engine guys who just arrived on scene.

"Roof is open, all clear!", Otis screamed on his radio to alert the others.

Inside, search and rescue was continuing and was finally focused on the first floor. They had already rescued twenty people trapped inside.

"Severide! Take the right with Capp, I take the left with Hermann!"

"Okay!"

Severide turned his back to Casey to begin the search on counter clockwise while Casey did the same but clockwise. The first apartment was empty, but arriving inside, the flames became intense.

"I give you a minute! The smoke is turning black! One minute!", Boden confirmed.

No need to answer, Casey and Hermann came inside the second apartment.

"Fire department, call out!"

They heard someone coughing, probably a child. Casey focused on the hallway where the bedrooms were. Then they saw a young woman, lying on the ground near one of the doors. He ran to her side, and put her on her back. She was still conscious, ready to cough her lungs due to the smoke inhalation, but still conscious.

"We'll get you out!"

She coughed and gripped Casey's gear.

"My son! My son is inside!"

"I'll get him out! But you need to get out, trust me!"

Tony and Cruz came to help. Cruz ran toward Severide and Capp while Tony arrived near Hermann and Casey.

"Tony, get her out of it! Hermann and I will find the kid!"

Tony nodded and placed himself near the woman so her head was under his head, protected by his hands. They got finally out, the young mother in agony and immediately taken over by the ambulance 61.

"61 to main, we need more ambos. We have a lot of smoke inhalation victims".

"Copy 61. Sending three more ambulances".

Chili placed an oxygen mask on her face, sat her down on the pavement. In the apartment, Casey opened the door to go inside. A young kid was straight up, probably afraid, still and up on this smoky air. He didn't cough, but Casey had read in his eyes. He was totally paralyzed by fear. The flames became more intense, and a noise that every firefighter feared came on their ears.

"Casey, get down!"

Without thinking, he turned his head to the hallway, seeing Hermann throw himself to the ground. He realized what would happen: with the roof open and this window too, the flames were arriving toward them on a grouped and evil dance. A geyser of flames began to step into the room, and Casey had just enough time to flatten to the ground to avoid being burned by these flames. He hadn't thought about what he was doing, but suddenly he thought back to that child who stood in front of him. He looked up just in time to see this little kid drowned by flames, without flinching, without crying, just standing there and paralyzed by fear. Once the flames out of the window, radio squealed.

"Hermann, Casey, report!"

But now, Casey was still. Hermann put his hands on his knees, and rushed to the lieutenant, terrified by the fact that he could be affected by this backdraft. He also had seen this little guy be devoured by the flames. But he didn't remember seeing his lieutenant being hit. He carefully looked at him. He was staring at this window, where there was a few seconds earlier this child. He was no more than four years old, five at the most. But it was always hard to know that nothing could be done to prevent this. His own lieutenant, who was always in control, was totally lost, totally paralyzed. He helped him get to his feet, still shocked by what he had just seen.

"Casey, we need to get out... Boden is calling us".

He didn't react, standing still. Hermann put his hand on his shoulder, ready to shake him if needed, but Casey was in his inside world, still thinking of what happened. How was he going to announce this to the mother, while she had trusted him? There were so many questions without answers and would probably remain unanswered.

"Casey, Hermann, report!"

Seeing Casey's bad shape, Hermann grabbed his radio and turned it on.

"All good chief. We're coming".

His voice was trembling, almost out. But he placed himself in front of Casey and looked at him carefully.

"Casey".

Casey shook his head, and face Hermann's eyes. They were both in shock, but they had to get out of this building. Arriving outside, they removed their mask, then their SCBA and their gloves. Casey looked the pavement, where the woman who Hermann and him saved earlier, this woman that was looking at him with an oxygen mask. She put it out and tried to take a deep breath.

"And... And my son?"

His eyes still lost on the void, Casey approached the woman. But he didn't have to talk. Just his gaze was saying everything. The mother knew something bad happened.

"No... No..."

She shook her head, forbidding her to believe that her son wasn't here anymore, wasn't here in this world anymore. Eyes closed, Casey opened his mouth, his lips shaking.

"I-I'm sorry, truly... I know it's hard but I-"

"How dare you!", the mother interrupted him. "How dare you tell me you know what I'm getting through! You promised!"

She got up, and slapped him on his cheek with all her strength. With so much strength that his head tipped to the right and his neck cracked. The firefighters around them were in shock, by her comportment but also by this scene. He was always motivating his men and calmed them, but their lieutenant was now a victim, completely blasted. Casey opened his eyes and faced this black gaze from this woman who lost her child. She had tears in her eyes, ready to collapse to the ground, finally understanding the situation. And instead of helping her, of comfort her as he had the habit to do with the victims, he stayed here, still and paralyzed. He was seeing again and again in his head these pictures of this kid drowning in flames, without crying, without screaming, just still in front of him, him who was on the ground to protect himself and couldn't do anything to save him but watching this scene just in front of his eyes. He felt a hand taping his right shoulder, but this didn't help him to come in the land of the living.

"Casey... Let's go, we have to go".

He knew he had to go back to the firehouse, but he couldn't. He stayed here, watching this woman crying her four year old child, collapsed to the ground. He couldn't avoid himself to see again this child, again and again, telling himself he could do something to avoid this. But each time he changed the scenario, the kid died.

"Casey".

Hermann put himself right in front of him, put his hands on his shoulders and shook his lieutenant slightly. After several seconds, Casey locked his gaze on his, totally lost.

"We have to get back".

Finally, Casey nodded with difficulty, then approached his truck without any noise, his legs shaking like hell, ready to break down in every moment. Dawson came near him to comfort him, but he didn't pay any attention to her. She put her eyes on Hermann.

"What happened inside?", she asked.

Hermann opened his mouth, ready to answer, but no words came out. He didn't know how to describe the scene and the feelings that were running through his mind. He just closed his eyes a moment, in shock but finally realizing what happened in this building, in front of him. A child was dead and they couldn't help him. It could have been one of his children inside. His stomach knotted. He turned his head to his lieutenant, still in shock, climbing into his truck and ready to go.