Warnings: Major Character Death (MCD), Grief/Mourning


"Harvey, it´s two o´clock in the night!"

"Donna, Mike had another attack. Donna…the doctors said…they said this is it."

"I´m on my way."

"Please."


"Harvey?" Donna asked. Harvey looked up to his secretary – his friend, his confidante – and just couldn't bring the words out. He tried to open his mouth, tried to bring forth the words to reassure the woman, but they just got stuck in his throat.

Around them nurses and doctors ran through the corridor; shouting and giving orders, a flurry of activity. The sounds of screaming, crying and sorrow echoed through the walls and Harvey would have given everything to just be able to blend it out. To turn it off.

But he couldn't.

"Harvey?" Donna repeated, her voice going slightly hysterical. Her hair was tousled, and her normally immaculate make-up had been completely washed off by her tears. Her hands were shaking, Harvey noticed. "Is he going to be okay?"

Harvey wanted to reassure her. To give her his arrogant smirk and say something witty, but he wouldn't lie to Donna. He never had and he never would. She deserved his honesty, even if lies would be so much kinder.

"Oh my God." His silence had been answer enough. Completely dazed, Donna sat down beside him, staring at the opposite wall – so white, ugly, tainted white – until sobs began wracking her body. She clasped his jacket, held on to him tightly, and just cried.

Harvey had seen Donna cry once in his whole life.

It had been the day his father had died.

He felt detached right now. He knew that he was rubbing soothing gestures on Donna´s back, knew that he was currently sitting in an overcrowded hospital corridor, but he just couldn't feel it. His mind was completely detached from his body – numb, deaf, blind – and everything worked like on auto-pilot.

Maybe it was the shock. Maybe it was his subconscious preparation of what was yet to come. Or maybe it was just a desperate attempt at escaping the hell he was currently living through.

Harvey would love to escape. But he couldn't – wouldn't.

There were still farewells to be said.

"It was supposed to be a special day," Donna sobbed. A few more tears spilled, but like the strong woman she was, Donna was able to compose herself. "But not like this." Harvey didn't say anything.

"Mr Specter-Ross?" a nurse questioned. "Your husband is conscious right now. You can go in and speak to him now." Harvey just nodded.

"You go first," Donna said. Harvey wanted to protest, but Donna cut him off.

"I´ll follow you in a few minutes," she continued. "But…you should go first, Harvey."


Mike was laid onto a hospital bed like a king awaiting his burial. Harvey had to fight for every step to take forward.

"Harvey," Mike smiled weakly. "You´re here."

"Of course I am," Harvey swallowed. "Where else would I be?"

"I never doubted you," Mike replied. "Please, could you come nearer?" Harvey did, his face barely hovering above Mikes'.

"Our time together was the best of my life, Harvey," Mike said, slowly caressing Harvey´s face with his skeleton-like hand. "I don´t regret a single second of it. Not a single one, do you understand me?" Harvey nodded. "And I don´t want you to regret it either. Can you promise me that? That one day you will look back and smile when you think about all the moments we had together?"

"I´ll try," Harvey tried to promise, but he just couldn't. He wasn't strong enough.

"You´re allowed to be weak," Mike said, as if he was knowing what Harvey was thinking. "After all those years I´d have thought you´d know that."

"I can´t," Harvey cries. "I can´t be weak without you."

"You can," Mike replied resolutely. "You can be weak. And strong. Compassionate. Caring. Arrogant. Idiotic. All those things that I love about you. You´ll still have them. They´ll always be a part of you. Don´t lose them, Harvey. Not even for me."

"You´re the only one who deserves them," Harvey whispered back. "To think what my life would have been without you; devoid. I´d still be the same uncaring asshole that I was when we first met. I´d still live in my empty condo and think that I had everything while in truth had nothing."

"You would have found your way," Mike said. "Eventually." He looked out of the window. The sun was shining; a rare thing in these autumn months.

"It´s a beautiful day to die, isn´t it?" Mike asked. "I never liked rain, anyway." His gaze turned back towards Harvey; softening and so full of love and devotion. "Do you still remember our marriage vows?"

"I don´t need your memory to remember the most important words in my life," Harvey replied. "'To Infinity and Beyond', you little nerd." He tried to smile, remembering the day they had chosen those words, but he wasn't able to.

"I think this is my Beyond," Mike mused. "My next great adventure, I suppose." He grasped Harvey´s hand.

"I´ll remember you, Harvey," he vowed. "Infinity won´t make me forget you."


"Mike."

"Donna," the blonde greeted the woman.

"I wanted to tell you something," Donna said, closing the door behind her, voice barely above a whisper. "Before…" Before you die. Before I won´t have the chance anymore. Before you will pass on and leave us behind.

Harvey could see how much she had to fight in order to not break down. She was so much stronger than him. "Andrew and I…we´re expecting a baby. A boy." Mike smiled. His whole face lit up, like he just had gotten the best news in his whole life and it made Harvey´s heart break even more.

"I´m so happy for you," he replied. In excruciating pain and Mike would still find it within himself to be happy for something he would never have the chance to have for himself.

The world didn't deserve Mike. He was too good for it.

"And…we´ll name him Michael," Donna continued, the tears streaming again down her face, but she didn't care. This was her goodbye – her farewell – to a man that came into her life as fraud – as threat – and would go as her best friend.

This was to all the things they went through, to all the odds they had been at, to all the moments of silent companionship and to all the battles they had fought together.

This was to Michael James Ross. To chances never taken and moments never realized.

From the Woman That Knew Everything. From the Fax Whisperer. From the Goddess.

From a terrified and grieving friend.

"And one day…one day…I will tell him of his Uncle Mike," Donna continued. "Of a brave man, who fought until the very last minute. Of a man that would have taught him compassion, empathy and caring and who would have made those things his strengths. I will tell him of his mother´s best friend, of his Uncle Harvey´s husband, who always strived to make the world a better place. And who succeeded." She made a few steps forward, hesitantly, and took Mike´s hand.

"You won´t be forgotten, Mike," she cried. "That I promise you."

"If there´s one person I would believe, then it´d be you," Mike said softly. "You know everything, after all." He took a sharp breath. "You still be my red-haired goddess? Even when I´m gone?"

"Always," Donna sobbed. "Always and forever." Then she buried her head into Mike´s chest and let the tears stream freely. Harvey stepped near, laying one hand on Donna´s shoulder, the other on Mikes'.

Neither he nor Donna let go. Not even when the heart monitor flatlined. Not when the doctors and nurses rushed into the room.

Not even when the light disappeared from Mike´s cerulean eyes.