"Nick?"

"Huh?"

"You kinda drifted off there. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, you don't have to worry about me."

Nora huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Last time you said that, I was afraid we'd have a resurrected baby-snatching monster on our hands."

"Mm," Nick barely responded, gold eyes flicking back and forth. If she didn't know better, she would say the old clockwork dick was worried.

"We don't have Kellogg to worry about, right?" She cast a glance toward where his back was turned. She could see the glow of a cigarette being lit, outlining his jaw.

"You're not answering. Is it that bad?"

Nick inhaled, taking his time, letting the smell of smoke wash over him. A memory that wasn't one he recognized trickled into his thoughts. Sunset over one shoulder, the remnants of the old pre-war Hollywood sign in front of him. A woman he didn't know stood beside him, holding a hand that he didn't recognize as his own. Her mouth opened to speak and in an instant he was back in Boston, and Nora was staring again.

"Dr. Amari said not to worry, remember?"

" Sarah ?" That wasn't his voice, cracking painfully. " Sarah, baby, come on, answer me." There was splashes of blood all over everything, he could taste the cold tang of metal in the air. This all felt too familiar. A familiar ache rose in his chest; one he hadn't felt fully, just hollow echoes, since before the war. A body lay curled in a corner of the shack, half hidden behind a mattress tossed to the ground. as if someone had thrown it there in search of something. It was with shaking hands he reached for the edge of it, peeling it back. He released an unnecessary breath, one he didn't realize he took, and wrapped in her arms - of course it was her, it was the Sarah he'd been looking for, why wouldn't it be his wife - he could see Mary, pressed against her, enfolded in Sarah's arms. He wheeled backwards, stumbling over the torn remnants of their bed. Agonizing pain burned through him, and he found himself reaching blindly for his gun. The bastards who killed them would pay, dearly.

Nick's eyes snapped open, and he sat up with a gasp before settling back down in his uncomfortable seat. This time he was really seeing, still seated, perched, really, on a folding chair beside Nora's bed. This was her house, Home Plate. They were still in Diamond City. The woman lay beside him, yawning as she heard him stir.

"Were you sleeping?" She asked.

"Synths don't sleep, remember?"

"Your eyes were closed." She pointed out, sitting up fully.

He didn't respond for a second, calling up recent memories - if he could truly call them that - of being able to feel with both hands. Some subconscious he had. "Would you believe me if I told you I'm remembering some things now about the old Nick I hadn't before? Guess Dr. Amari knocked something loose back at the Memory Den."

A flash of worry bloomed across Nora's face but was gone in a second. "What kind of memories?"

"Old cases, you know? Nothing particularly interesting, unless you like cold cases solved a hundred years ago." He shrugged an arm, shifting as he shrugged out of his coat.

"That's how the deal is going down, is it? I'll show you mine if you show me yours?" Nick knew that voice; hot tar on ground glass. If he could shiver, he would have.

"Did you say something?" The dark haired woman glanced his way, one of Nick's case files in her hands.

"No." He ground out through his teeth, fingers itching to put a cigarette to his mouth. He couldn't bring himself to lift them.

"Oh, is that how we're doing this? Gotta keep the fact that I'm in here with you on the down-low." Kellogg's voice dropped to a rumble.

"Look, if you're talking to me, say it out loud, Nick." Nora slapped the file down against the desk. The sound it made was pathetic. "Stop muttering under your breath."

"I'm not." Then as an aside to himself, "Stay out of my memories."

She frowned, before going to the door. "I'm going to Goodneighbor. Try not to go crazy while I'm gone."

Kellogg spoke again, bringing him back; "I was getting bored of 'em anyway, what with your dead girlfriend and all. Guess we have something in common."

A cold feeling settled in the nape of his neck, as if ice was building just below the surface. Nick leaned his head back, teeth gritted.

"Let's see what kind of software the Institute bothered to equip you with." If he closed his eyes, he could almost believe the voice in his head was whispering in his ear, low and husky. Nick tried to lift his hand, but the machinery refused to respond. Instead, the gentle tac of metal against the exposed edge of his throat caught his attention. It scratched, the sharp tips trailing down beneath the edge of his collar.

"Bullet magnet, huh?" His fingers traced a jagged fist sized hole punched straight to the wiring beneath. Nick worked his mouth, tongue pressing hard against the backs of his teeth. A shock went through him, sending him going rigid as his finger eased into the hole. It curled, hooking into some of the wires as Nick's hand tugged, hard. "Do you think Nora will want you like this? I can see the way you look at her, I'm in here too." Then as he pulled Kellogg murmured, "She's no Jenny, but she's no Sarah either."

In response, his mouth opened, and the sound that escaped was an undignified groan.

"Well, would you look at that." He sounded proud of himself, breath coming fast from the pleasure still racing through him. "Guess the guys bothered to string you up with sensors after all."

It took a second for Nick to fumble for words but as soon as he did, the first word out of his mouth was: " Stop ."

It took him a moment, but he recognized the sound that issued forth as laughter; "I'd tell you to make me, but you seem to be indisposed at the moment." The sharp tips of his fingers scraped against the blasted rough edge of the hole, and literal sparks burst forth. It gave Nick a start, and he wished he could turn his head, but he couldn't.

The fingers drew lower, tracing the edge of one of his chest plates. The fraction of an inch space between the plates drew his fingers in, working in between the small space given. He shouldn't have been able to feel it; fingers plunging into the space between where his ribs should have been, but it was cold, a tingling cold that lingered, lasting longer than the touch itself. His metal fingertips reached the frame beneath the plates, and scraped down them roughly.

Nick caught himself before a scream found its way up from his voicebox. Something must have clicked to Kellogg, because his fingers pinched two wires together, rolling them between thumb and forefinger. He was teasing Nick, and the old detective wasn't sure if he could keep up pretending he wasn't about to overheat from the pleasure, machinery whirring up a storm deep in his chest.

"Stop, please .." Nick wasn't proud of the weakness in his voice, or the way his knees felt as if they were going to give way. His mouth had grown slack, head tilting back.

"Did they give you anything else?" Kellogg mused to himself, as Nick's fingers tugged hard on the wires. His hips jerked forward hard, as he couldn't help but whine.

The low rumble of Kellogg's voice as he chuckled vibrated through him. "Can't even come, ain't that a waste. How far can I push this, do you think?"

His fingertips brushed the frame of his shoulder again, and Nick stiffened, breath coming fast. The cold metal pressed hard, and dots of light filled his vision, leaving him panting. The sound of his own voice was shocking to Nick, when he called out, " Please.."

"Since you're begging so nice, maybe I'll just.." Kellogg ran his - Nick's - fingers along the closest line of his frame, taking his time as he smoothed his thumb and forefinger along the lightweight metal. Nick's mouth opened in a silent cry, and he found himself biting down on the synthetic flesh of his fingers, sucking on the leathery skin, his tongue pressed hard against the front of his knuckles. He couldn't feel it.

"Oh fuck," Kellogg's voice caught, sounding as if he was right on the edge, and Nick bit down harder, feeling the knuckles of his first two fingers creaking under the pressure. For one brief second, everything went white, his whole body tensing, before releasing all at once as Nick found himself able to move again.

Since Nora finally left him be, he got to work. Everything was on edge, his entire body still antsy, still wound up and aching for something, as he put an experimental finger to the edge of his face plate, stroking the wires that ran along his throat. A shock traveled through him and he dug his teeth into the unpliant synthetic flesh of his bottom lip.

Nick's fingers were quick, loosening his tie, popping the buttons of his shirt open. His hand found the edge of the gaping hole in his chest, and he plunged his fingers in without a second thought. Images of Nora came unbidden, and he coiled his fist around a bunch of wires, squeezing them together in his fist, pulling at them just enough for the familiar whirring to start up. Nick fell into a rhythmic balance, pull, squeeze, pull, squeeze. His breath came hard and fast, body overheating quickly. Memories were mixing, old Nick's thoughts of Jenny, images of Sarah -

"Oh." That second voice was like a breath in his ear, a low groan that seemed to vibrate through him at a lower frequency than his own voice. Nick's hand slowed, running his fingers along the length of the wires.

"Do you know what you're doing here?" Kellogg called quietly, speaking with some difficulty. Nick licked his lips, not even getting them wet, not even thinking about it, just a habitual little action left over from another time. "How can you even stand it?"

He took a second to answer, breath coming in harsh gasps. "I didn't even think about it until you came along."

"Well, shit. Should I be honored then?" The arousal in the guttural voice was obvious. He was getting off on this. Whether it was seeing Nick writhing helpless or the fact that he had to have been able to feel it too, Nick wasn't sure.

"No." Nick grit out through clenched teeth, a numbness building in his other hand. He knew the feeling. Shifting his hips, Nick let out a sigh as his legs spread. He watched as his hand crept down past the bottom of his shirt, tucked fast into his belt.

"Still a shame you got nothing down here." He bit back a groan, every inch of him felt on fire. Nick's thighs squeezed shut around the hand pressing its way between his legs. Even if there was just empty space there.

" Fuck .." Kellogg breathed, fingers catching on the inner edge of the panels making up Nick's thighs.

His breathing was coming faster, shaky in its delivery. His hand released the wires, and fell to the desk in front of him to keep him upright. Nick bent over the desk, hips rocking slow as his numb fingers forced their way between the few inches of space between his legs. A jolt of pleasure rippled through him like nothing else he'd ever felt. The intensity forced his head bowed and he whined, trying to fight the feeling. He stilled his hips, all the air in him escaping in a hiss as two fingers shoved into him hard, curling against something he assumed was a sensor from the ache it was filling him with. The fingers twisted, sending a rocket of pleasure through every inch of him. Nick's mouth opened in a startled cry, forcing his hips against the edge of his desk.

Kellogg worked a third finger in the space, and Nick couldn't see for a second, sparks dancing on the edge of his vision.

"Stop.." His fingers dragged down the edge of his desk, metal gouging four paths down the surface. "I can't- I need to-"

"That makes two of us." The fingers plunged hard, hitting the frame of his core and a ragged moan tore its way out of his mouth, voice giving way to the inhuman sound of his inner machinery whirring discordantly. Kellogg's voice fell silent for a blessed few moments.

Nick hoped this silence would remain for longer, but if it didn't he would have to tell the Sole Survivor, who had just walked into his office, looking windblown.

"What did I miss, Nick?" Nora had a blush on her cheeks, as she looked him up and down, noting the disarray.

"I'll tell you later." He pulled his fingers free from his pants, still shaky as he found his footing. A tug later and his other hand was dislodged from the desk. "Let me just catch my breath first."