"I'm Sorry"

"And that was Mabel's guide to eating non-foods!" beamed Mabel Pines at her trusty camera, wrapped in the soothing homeliness of both her and her brother's bedroom. One take was all that was needed, and ultimately all there was time for; the July sun had begun to sink beneath the horizon. It left a luscious amber haze to pierce through the windows, and decorate the walls. She ran up to her camera, and fumbled to turn it off, already pondering how she was going to edit her latest masterpiece. The giddiness made her jump around a little; she was quite confident that the world needed to know more about the appropriate etiquette regarding eating leaves.

"Hey Dip, wanna help me with the editing?" she asked excitedly, without turning around. "I think this'll be my best yet!"

She waited for an answer, but it didn't come. "Dipper?" she finally asked with slight confusion, turning around to see her brother on his bed.

She realized to her surprise that Dipper hadn't moved from the same spot in nearly an hour. He was still sitting on the bed, hunched over his Journal, eyes transfixed on every sentence, dashing from page to page. Mabel could tell from his posture and face that something was not right. He seemed to be clutching the Journal a little too tight, his eyes were moving too quickly to digest any information, but most confusingly, he seemed to be muttering something; indecipherable from the distance, but not inaudible. Mabel was surprised she hadn't noticed this at all during her film sessions, and wanted to know what was going on.

She skipped up to his bed with bountiful optimism, and jumped onto it, sitting just in front of him. Dipper was startled, but Mabel was inquisitive. "What-cha do-in'?" she smiled.

That's when she noticed something a little more worrying. Dipper seemed to be breathing fairly heavily, and he seemed to be sweating a little more than he usually did, but most concerning, he didn't look her in the eyes. It was almost as if he was hiding something.

"Um…Mabel, I'm sorry, but I'm trying to read this Journal," he said in an evidently anxious, and worried tone.

Mabel snickered slightly, snuggling beside him. "Why do you say 'sorry' all the time?"

Dipper was slightly taken aback. "What? No I don't."

Mabel raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Dipper, yesterday you said 'sorry' when it was raining."

Dipper paused, before placing the Journal down, and wrapping his arms around his knees. "It's just that…I wanted you to have a nice day, and I was upset when…"

Mabel grinned and gave him an enthusiastic slap on the back to cut him off. "Come on bro! You can't control the weather! Relax!" she said smoothly, trying to put her arm over his shoulder.

"Mabel! You don't understand!" said Dipper in a much more apprehensive tone, avoiding her embrace. "I need to work out who wrote this Journal! I've been reading all day looking for clues, trying to decipher the codes, I've even been awake at two in the morning looking through everything…and I just can't do it!"

In the war between Mabel's gaiety and Dipper's fretfulness, the former was the first to crack. Mabel stared at her brother with a new-found sense of concern, as the smile eroded from her face. While Dipper hunched into himself on the bed, sitting with his head down by his knees, arms wrapped around his shins, Mabel closed the door as a precaution; she didn't want anyone else to see him like this.

Turning around, she approached the bed again, only this time slowly, and gently sitting down beside him. Dipper looked towards the ground, and refused to look at his sister. She put a soothing hand over his shoulder, and began to gently stroke the back of his neck to try and calm him down; it was a technique she'd learned from their parents.

"Look Dipper," she said, quietly and affectionately, "If there's anything wrong, I want you to tell me, and I'll help. I promise."

Dipper sighed, and looked in the opposite direction from his sister. "I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. It's pretty hard."

Mabel put her other hand on Dipper's other shoulder, as she moved close towards him, now effectively a hug. "Come on bro, I want to help. What's going on?"

Dipper hunched even deeper, as his breathing got noticeably heavier, even more so than before. Despite his reluctance to confess, he felt that if anyone should know what he was going through, it was Mabel. It took him a few seconds to compose himself, before he spoke again.

"It's just that…I'm working so hard to try and figure out who the Author is, but no matter where I go, it always hits a dead-end. I keep researching these codes I've never even heard of, I keep reading every line, looking for a clue, and…nothing. I'm not used to it; I've always been the go-to guy to work this stuff out. I'm just the 'smart guy'. That's all I've ever been…and it's all I'm good for."

Mabel's jaw dropped, and her hands slowly relinquished their grip. She was stunned at what she just heard, but Dipper paid no heed.

"Look Mabel…I don't have friends. Remember back in school? When I was just sitting in the playground every recess on my own? You don't think I wanted to join in the other boys my age? You don't think I wanted people to say 'Hi Dipper!' when they saw me? You don't think I wanted to stop being such a weird freak who nobody liked? That stupid nose, that stupid hat, that…" his voice quivered with a pang of fury, "Stupid, stupid birthmark."

At that last line, his fist suddenly shot up, and slammed right at the top of his forehead, exactly where his birthmark was. Mabel jumped back and gasped, too shocked to process anything. Dipper was unaffected by this bout of self-hatred, as his fist relinquished into a palm that covered his eyes.

His voice became unsteady, as he opened his soul. "It's like the longer I don't have a social life, the weirder I get, and the weirder I get, I get less chance of a social life. But…the worst part is…I have no one to blame but me. I don't have friends, and it's my fault. You know when Candy and Grenda come up here for Girl's Night? I'm not just mad because there's a bunch of girls over…I'm jealous. I'm jealous of you Mabel. You can make friends so easy, and everyone likes you. Me? I'm just that weird kid everyone laughs at. No one takes me seriously. Everyone made fun of me in school, and that's gonna leave a mark. They made me hate my birthmark, they made me hate the music I liked, and they made me hate myself."

Starting to shake under the weight of his anxiety, his eyes watered, and his voice broke. "The only thing they could never take away from me was that I was smart, and when I can't be smart, I can't be anyone. I guess…" he croaked, "That's why I'm always saying 'sorry'. I just…I just always think I hurt other people. I wrapped you into all this, Mabel. You could be the most popular girl in school, but you're always just wasting your time on me. I don't deserve you; I don't deserve anything."

Dipper sighed as the weight of his secret was released from his shoulders. He tried to take in the silence to calm down, but heard an odd sound coming from just beside him. He cautiously peered over his arm, and saw his sister lying on the blankets, crying her eyes out at what her brother had just said. Dipper leapt out of his posture, and put his hand over Mabel, just as she did a few minutes ago.

"Aw geez, Mabel," said Dipper apologetically, "I'm sorry I made you feel like-" he began, before Mabel shot up, face racked in regret, and tarnished with tears.

"Don't say that!" she begged.

"What?"

"You keep apologizing when it's not your fault!"

"Aw man, I'm sorry Ma-" he said, before Mabel's palm covered his mouth and cut the sentence short; she wasn't going to let Dipper talk that way about himself.

"You're doing it again! Stop it!" she pleaded, her tear-ridden eyes looking to his.

She let go, as her arms became weary under the weight of her guilt. She covered her face with her palms, crying into them. "I can't believe I just let this happen! How could I just let you feel like this all the time? Dipper, I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

"Th-that's okay Mabel," said Dipper inelegantly; he was awkwardly adjusting to the role-reversal.

"No it's not! I'm making these stupid videos, acting like an idiot, when you're just…suffering like that." She turned to face her brother, putting a hand on each of his shoulders, barely having the strength to look him in the eyes. "Dipper…if you think I'm just going to ignore what you said, you have another thing coming."

Her arms jumped out around Dipper, ensnaring him in a warm, unbreakable hug. Mabel placed her head on his shoulder, as Dipper softened under the affectionate embrace.

She sniffled. "From the bottom of my heart…I love you, bro. You're the best bro-bro in the whole world, and I don't care how smart you are, or how many friends you have, because you'll always be my brother. No one is more important to me than you."

Dipper started to crack under the adoration. "B-but what about mom and dad?"

Mabel breathed in to compose herself, but her voice cracked nonetheless. "Mom and dad didn't give me bedtime stories every night when I was sick. Mom and dad didn't teach me how to do my homework when even the teacher said I was stupid. And mom and dad didn't save my life every week from monsters and demons, like you do.

"It isn't just me saying this, Dipper. I talk to Wendy, Grunkle Stan, and Soos. When you aren't there, we still talk about you, and we still think you're amazing. We don't think you're weird, well," she smiled, "maybe a little, but only in a good way. Heck, you just helped Soos have the first happy birthday he's ever had! You saved everyone a million times in just a month! You got someone as grouchy as Grunkle Stan to actually like you! Everyone here likes you! You are the kindest, coolest, awesome-est guy in the whole world! I don't care what other people call you, I want you to listen to me bro-bro: You matter, and you are beautiful, inside and out."

Dipper couldn't even recall the last time he was complimented on his appearance, and of the three affirmations, this was the most important. He began to return his sister's hug, and squeezed just as tightly, as two bitter-sweet streams of tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Thanks, Mabel. I really, really needed that."

"It's okay, Dip," she smiled, pulling herself up to face him squarely, teary eye to teary eye. "But I want you to promise me one thing."

"W-what's that?"

Mabel took her hand and brushed his fringe, to reveal his imprint, the one he had been bullied for the entirety of his school years for. "Never ever hit yourself like that again, especially not to something as beautiful, and perfect as your birthmark."

She then did what she used to do when her brother was bullied on account of that mark; she raised herself up, and gently kissed it, like a mother. She smiled at the bashful blushing from her sibling, as she gently stroked his hair to remind him that he was loved.

"Promise?"

"I-I promise," he said tenderly.

She raised a threatening fist. "And if anyone ever makes fun of you for your birthmark, tell me, so I can pound 'em!"

Dipper laughed, half because of her enthusiasm, the other half because he knew she was serious. Most of the anxiety he had was gone, replaced by overwhelming feelings of love and acceptance.

"Better yet?" Mabel asked hopefully, disarmed by his laughter.

Dipper thought for a moment, before nodding.

Mabel leapt off the bed with the same enthusiasm she had when she initially leapt on it. "Well that's just the start, bro! I'm gonna give you the best weekend ever! You're gonna watch all your favourite films, eat your favourite food, you'll go to all those places in the forest you'd like to go...I'm gonna make it all up to you! By the time you're done, you're gonna be sick of fun!"

Dipper was flattered, and didn't know how to respond to the announcement. A part of him felt bad that Mabel was doing all this for his happiness, until he realized that his happiness itself made Mabel happy. It seemed that he and his sister weren't very different after all.

"Th-that sounds great Mabel!" he beamed, sniffing back tears. "But can I just ask for one thing first?"

"Anything!"

"C-c-c," Dipper choked, as he realized the absurdity of what he was about to ask.

"Well come on!" Mabel smirked.

"…Can you and I just spend a few minutes in Sweater-town together?"

Mabel's smile vanished under the surprise, but came back so strong only a few seconds later in a fashion that could only be described by observers as Kawaii. Dipper never went to Sweater-town with Mabel, as he always thought it was absurd. To finally have her brother respond positively was music to her ears. She rummaged through her clothes, daintily racing her fingers through the fabrics, to choose the perfect one. Ultimately, of course, there could only be one winner; the old super-sized white sweater that was too big even for her. She ran back to Dipper, holding it up for final confirmation. Dipper laughed, understanding how ludicrous the situation was, but still nodded. Mabel leapt just beside him, and placed the sweater over his head. They worked together to bring the beast to control, and they eventually managed to snake both their heads through the neck opening. One arm went in the sleeve, and the other arm wrapped around each other. They both laid back on Dipper's bed, closed their eyes, and simultaneously, they realized how lucky they were to have what they had. They had grown older, but hadn't grown up.

"Dipper?" said Mabel in a relaxed voice.

"Yeah?"

"Please stop apologizing all the time. You are a miracle, and I want you to know that."

Dipper smiled. He may not have had something to be sorry for, but he certainly had something to be thankful for.

ZKHQ ZDV WKH ODVW WLPH BRX WROG BRXU IDPLOB BRX ORYHG WKHP?

The End