Sometimes I wonder what key words people type in that make them stumble across fanfiction. Do you think about that too, or is it just me? It is probably just me.

I was actually crying when I wrote the end of this. Full blown tears and everything. That might just be me though.

This is the end now. I promise. No more. Sorry.

Love Him

The water scolded her skin as she turned the shower up as hot as possible. She felt like she wanted to cry, but she couldn't. The tears just wouldn't. How had things gone wrong? It had been a relief to see him standing there, and she had felt so at home in his arms. And then she had to get lost in her thoughts. She had to open her mouth and tell the truth. That was what all these problems had stemmed from: the truth. If she had never told him she loved him, he would never have followed her out here. If she had never told the truth about Ari they would not be arguing like they were. Her skin acclimatised to the hot water and she turned it off, reaching for a towel. She couldn't hide from him forever – or at least not when he was downstairs in her house.

"Why're you mad at me boss?"

"'Cause you screwed this up twice already." Gibbs glared at him from across the living room.

"Gibbs…"

"DiNozzo. I don't wanna hear it." He snapped just as he heard the water stop running upstairs.

"How do I repair it?"

"You tell her the truth."

"What if I don't know the truth, boss?"

"Then go home. I'll go back to Mexico and she'll stay here. Is that what you want? To be away from her? 'Cause this is your last chance, DiNozzo, and to be honest if I were her I wouldn't give it to you."

"No?"

"No. You told her that you couldn't love her because of who her half-brother was. You told her that you couldn't trust her because of that. Do you love her?"

"I don't know…I can't imagine living without her, boss. Do you know how much it hurts when she isn't there?"

"Means you love her, DiNozzo." He shrugged, nodding to Ziva as she stood in the doorway. Her damp hair tumbled over her shoulders in ringlets and she wore a blue blouse and cargo pants. She had read somewhere that blue was supposed to symbolise truth. If it wasn't true then at least it was a comfortable blouse. Tony stood up awkwardly then sat back down.

"Tony, I…I am sorry, that I lied to you." She clasped her hands in front of her. "And I want you to know that I never lied about it to protect my life. Gibbs will have you believe that that is why I lied, but it is not… Anyone who knows about Ari's death would be guilty in Mossad standards. Most Mossad officers do not like Gibbs as it is. I lied to protect you. I do not care if they find out, my life is not worth what yours is, but if I was killed for it then there would be an investigation and if you were found to know about it then you would more than likely be sentenced to death. I could not let that happen."

"Ziva, I understand I just think…wait, you don't think your life is worth as much as mine?"

"I know it is not. I killed my own brother."

"You did it to save Gibbs." He stood up again and walked over to her. "Look, Ziva, I may have said some things earlier, but you cannot take any of that to heart. I'm an idiot. I say things without thinking. I act stupidly. God, I should never have let you come out here." He took her hands in his, holding them tighter when she tried to pull away. "Ziva, your life is the reason I turn up to work every day. Your smiling face. Your eyes. You. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I didn't see you every day. I had a taste of it, two weeks without you, and Abby and McGee will tell you I have been a horrible man. I don't deserve your love, Ziva, and Gibbs is right – you shouldn't give it to me."

"I cannot help but give it to you, Tony." She said quietly. "Even after this morning, I cannot think of loving any man more than I love you. Even as you were yelling at me, I could not help but love you. I felt my heart break because I knew that you could never love me after you found out I had lied."

"Ziva, I would give my life for you."

"I know, and that is why I left. I cannot imagine a world without you. I once asked a blind friend what it was like, not to see. He said that you got used to it, you adapted. He told me to sit with my eyes blindfolded closed for a day, and I did. I was difficult, not to be able to see at first, but by the end of the day I had learnt to listen, feel, smell. I had adapted. I was able to imagine a world without sight. But I cannot imagine a world without you. I cannot imagine a world without Anthony DiNozzo smiling and winking and joking. A world like that is a world that I would not want to be in, and if you give your life for me, then you would leave me all alone in a world without you. And I could not let you do that. I could not deprive the world of your smile." She reached up and ran her thumb along his dry, cracked lips. "Because it is a beautiful smile."

"Ziva David, my smile may well be beautiful, but I do not have eyes that can tell you both that everything will turn out alright and that you will be killed slowly and painfully all in the space of half an hour. I do not have a laugh that lights up the room. I do not have an immense ability to understand what people are going through and such a capability to love as you do. Somehow, even with everything you've seen, you manage to see the good in the world still, you manage to see the good in every man, woman and child who walks through NCIS, whether they be a killer, victim or witness. That is what I admire most about you. That and your ability to kill someone eighteen different ways with a paperclip." He grinned and she blushed slightly and nodded. "There is a flight back to DC tomorrow. Gibbs says that there are two options for me. Either I leave with you or I leave without you. I think he's wrong." Ziva raised her eyebrows and looked behind him to see where Gibbs was. Out of sight, although probably not out of earshot. "There is another option. One that I would take in a heartbeat if it meant staying with you. I would leave my position at NCIS. I would leave DC and America and I would come and live here, in Israel with you. You can teach me Hebrew and I get a job as a carpenter or an olive seller or something."

"Tony, as much as that sounds like a beautiful idea, and I could leave my position in Mossad and we could live happily ever after, it is not realistic, nor is it possible. It would be too dangerous. Besides, director David would not allow it, and I do not think my father would be to happy either." Tony frowned and tilted his head. "Gibbs." She clarified. "He would be hurt that you would abandon the team."

"Not if it was for true love."

"And is that what this is?" She smiled softly, a glint of hope in her eyes as he kissed the back of the hand he still had cradled in his.

"I cannot live without you for one day longer. I think that constitutes as true love. According to all the films at least, but if you have a better definition then by all means be my guest, officer David." He took as step back, releasing her hand and grinning.

"That suits me just fine." She laughed.

"Well, in that case…" He crossed back over to her and pressed a somehow passionate yet tender kiss to her lips, one hand cradling the back of her head as the other gently caressed the soft skin at her hip. "So Israel's out of the question, but what about Italy. Or Scotland – Ducky's always raving about how beautiful Scotland and Britain are. Or Iceland. I hear Iceland's pretty great." He leant his forehead against hers, their lips lightly brushing one another's as they spoke.

"I like DC just fine, Tony. Besides, I think we would miss Abby and McGee and Ducky too much."

"They could come with us." Tony just shrugged. "We could all leave murder behind us. Just be ordinary people with ordinary jobs."

"Would you really want that? I think we would get bored."

"Oh, I can think of many things to do to occupy our time." He chuckled.

"Tony, I think even you could get bored of sex over time."

"I was actually thinking golf, Zee-Vah. Although I would like to take a bet on how long it would take me to get bored." He grinned and she slapped his chest light-heartedly.

"Golf?"

"Yeah. I think Ducky and McGee would be fine."

"I cannot see Abby playing golf."

"Hmm, you're right. Maybe we would miss our lives of action. So what do you say?"

"I say I miss DC and I miss Abby and McGee and Ducky and Jenny and even maybe Palmer and Lee if I think about it for too long. I say I miss NCIS. I miss home."

"Then pack your bags, Sweetcheeks. I'm taking you home." He grinned and pressed his lips firmly to hers.

"Can we talk about the whole 'Sweetcheeks' thing because I am not sure…"

"Nope, sorry. You'll always be Sweetcheeks to me." He didn't let her finish.

"Tony?"

"Yes, Ziva?"

"Something is bothering me?"

"And what is it that is troubling you, my fair maiden?" She rolled her eyes but continued anyway.

"A carpenter?"

"Well, Harrison Ford started out as a carpenter, and look how far he's come." Tony pulled her into a hug, burying his face in her hair, not before nodding to Gibbs out of the window.

"It's beautiful here." Tony sighed, staring at the view.

"Mmm. Stay tonight. We are closer here to the airport than you would be at your hotel." Ziva said as they sat in the dusty shade of the largest of the olive trees in the grove.

"What about my luggage?"

"It is in the back of your hire car." She kept her eyes closed throughout the whole conversation as she leant against the rough, hard wood of the trunk.

"How did you know?"

"Gibbs would have told you to pack it. You ran a high risk coming here and there are people who want Gibbs dead, so he would have told you to pack it in case you needed to leave." She reached her hand across from where it had rested on her knee to clasp his. Her other hand picked up a small amount of the sandy soil and she opened her eyes as she watched the particles slip between her fingers, her palm. "Do you know what I love about olive trees?"

"No, I don't. Tell me." He watched her face as she smiled softly.

"They do not need good soil. The poorer the soil, the better the olives. They are so strong, so robust. As long as they are treated well, they can live for hundreds if not thousands of years. And they are modest. Their flowers are small and pale. They remind me of Gibbs."

"I can't imagine he'd know what to say to that."

"Me either." She looked up to the branches, the golden light that was filtering through the leaves and the hanging fruit. "They'll be ready to harvest soon." She pointed up. "It used to be my favourite time of the year. Me and Tali and…" She paused and bit her lip. "And all the boys and girls from school would come down, and Aunt Nettie and Shmeil and Mother and all the family would help. Father might even take a day or two off of work to join us. And at the end of the first day we would see who had collected the most and the one with the most would get to taste the first one after they had cured. My father would make us wait three months, just to make sure they were ready. I remember Ari used to…" She stopped, realising her error again. "I am sorry, I just…"

"No, it's fine. I want to hear about your childhood." He nodded to her to continue, and although she could tell he was uncomfortable talking about the man who had killed his friend in such a fond way, she could also tell he was trying to make up for his earlier mistakes. "Ziva, please go on with your story."

"Are you certain, because I do not have to if you do not…"

"Ziva. I want to hear." He smiled, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

"He used to know that by the time the olives were cured and ready he would be back with his mother again and so he would not get a chance to try them, so he would always split his find between all of the children, and he would always give me more than everyone else. In return, once they were cured I would always put a few in a small jar and send it to him, using all of the money I had saved. And every year he would bring me the jar back when he visited and tell me that he was certain the ones I sent were the ones I picked because they had tasted so good." She smiled at the memory. "I think he would have liked to meet you, when he was a good man."

"Why?" Tony asked, not certain he was entirely happy with the idea but trying desperately not to offend her.

"Because you make me happy. He would have liked to meet the man who makes me happy."

"I make you happy?"

"Yes. Of course you do." She took his chin between her fingers and looked at him seriously. "I do not have to talk about him anymore if it makes you feel uneasy."

"He was your brother. You should not have to never talk about him because of me."

"It is not fair on you then, though. I do not mind. I have my memories of him. It does not hurt me to keep them to myself, but it hurts you for me to share them."

"Ziva, I don't want you to sacrifice anything for me."

"You are willing to sacrifice your life for me and yet I cannot sacrifice something so small as being able to talk about my memories? That hardly seems fair." She knelt and faced him. "Let me do this for you, Tony. You came all the way to Tel Aviv for me."

"I had to. You weren't there." He shrugged, leaning forwards and kissing her. She moved closer and he rolled to his knees, their hands finding their way to entangle in the others hair. Tony had turned her so her back was pressed against the gnarled bark of the tree and one hand had dropped to her waist were it was toying with the hem of her blouse.

Gibbs looked at them with raised eyebrows. "I cooked dinner. It's on the table."

"Er, thanks, Gibbs. You been there long?" Tony looked at the older man, embarrassed. He knew that Gibbs thought of them both as his children and a father probably never wanted to see one, or even both, of his children kissing so…amorously. Particularly not in an olive grove. And particularly not with the knowledge that if he had not interrupted when he did he may have fallen witness to things that no father should ever have to think about his children doing.

"Long enough." He said gruffly before turning on his heels and walking back towards the house. "Steaks getting cold."

"You may sleep in my room." Ziva smiled as she led him up to the attic.

"What about you?" Tony grasped her wrist, frowning.

"I shall sleep in Tali's room. She would have been more comfortable with that than you and I sleeping in the same bed."

"It's not like we haven't shared the same bed bef…wait, your sister wouldn't approve of me?" He looked stunned.

"No, she would have. She would have liked you. She was just…traditional. She would have told me off for even having a boy in my room past curfew." Ziva smiled softly. "We are not married. Were we to be married, her response would be different. I assure you." She opened the door to her room. "Besides, we will not both fit on the bed." She pointed to the iron framed cot bed.

"Christ, Ziva. That thing looks like it belongs in an old hospital."

"Barracks, actually." She chuckled lightly as he raised his eyebrows.

"Daddy David couldn't get you a nicer bed?"

"I asked for it. One of the barracks was closing down and I hated the pink bed my mother liked, so I asked my father for a bed from the barracks." She shrugged. "Tali liked the pink bed."

"How old were you."

"I was seven." She ran a hand through her hair, remembering the simpler time. "I do not think I am ever coming back here." She sighed and Tony wrapped his arms around her.

"You never know. One day you might."

"No, I cannot come back here again." She took a wooden crate from where it sat in the corner housing books and looked around her childhood room. She emptied the books into a pile and stashed them in the corner before taking the two photo frames from the desk and placing them in the box, along with a snow-globe and a carved wooden box. She also placed a small silver jewellery box and a small leather bound journal in there, before packing the remaining space with clothes. She smiled weakly before heading downstairs, leaving Tony alone in the room for a moment before she came back with a few more photographs and sentimental items gathered from around the house. "I doubt anyone will even notice they are missing." She sealed the box and perched on the edge of it.

"Come here." He extended his arms and she walked into them, relishing in their warmth. "I'm sorry."

"Sign of weakness." She muttered, tucking her head under his chin.

"And don't I know it." He chuckled as she yawned. "We have a long flight tomorrow. Get some sleep."

"Ani ohevet otcha, Tony."

"Ti amo, Ziva."

"Lilah tov." She kissed his check.

"Buena notte."

"Tony, my love, come with me." Ziva kissed him gently to wake him. He stared at her face, lit by the pale moonlight from the skylight and smiled sleepily.

"Decided your sister wouldn't mind if you joined me after all?" He grinned.

"No, I want you to come with me."

"Where?"

"Tony, do not ask questions. It is a surprise." She found his hand and smiled. "Come on." She tossed him his t-shirt and jeans from where he had left them when he had gone to bed.

"Ziva, it's 0100." He groaned.

"Hush. You will wake Gibbs." She watched him dress, smiling appreciatively. "I promise it will be worth it." With that he sped up. She took his hand and guided him down the stairs in the dark, pointing out the steps that creaked so he could avoid them. They crept past a peaceful-looking Gibbs, sleeping on the couch in the living room. She carefully unlocked the door, putting pressure on it at just the right moment so it didn't click and lead him out to the olive grove. She counted the trees as they passed before stopping at an older looking one. She hoisted herself onto a thicker looking branch and then indicated for him to get up too.

"Ziva, I…"

"Hush. Just do it." She commanded. He sighed and complied, eventually managing to sit behind her on the branch. "You said it was beautiful here, yes?"

"Yeah." He nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on her bright, excited ones.

"I think it is more beautiful now." She pointed across the landscape. The land started to slope downwards past the tree they were sat in, and the height gave a better vantage point to see the moon-bleached scene. It was breath-taking. In the distance mountains rose to meet the stelliferous sky.

"I think you might be right." He murmured as she leaned back into his body, nestling down so they were both gazing off into the view.

"I love it out here." She tilted her head up and kissed him softly. "Careful!" She laughed when he slipped slightly. "You have to be careful, just remember where you are." She laughed quietly, turning her head back to the scenery.

"Who are you so wise in the art of kissing whilst sat in trees?" He wrapped his arms securely around her waist and pressed his lips to her temple.

"I had my first kiss in…" She sat up slightly taller and craned her neck, pointing to another tree. "That tree there, see the one next to the slightly taller one?" He nodded, grinning and settling back against the trunk.

"So, your first kiss, huh? What's the story behind that one?"

"You do not want to hear about it, do you?" She looked shocked as he nodded.

"I want to know all about you."

"Okay." She leant her head back on his shoulder and held his hands as they wrapped around her waist and sat clasped on her stomach. "I was sixteen…"

"You were sixteen when you had your first kiss?"

"I lived in a different world to you Tony. There was this boy…"

"Usually helps."

"Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"Continue."

"Okay, I was sixteen and there was this boy. Yossef. He was in my class at school, not that he turned up. He was a, uh, what do you call them…er, he did not like authority, yes?"

"Rebel."

"Yes, that is the word. He was a rebel, and my father believed him to be a bad influence. But I liked him. People only saw the petulant child in him, a character that would not have lasted long in our society. Anyway, my father forbid me to see him, already planning career in the Israeli Army. But I could not agree with that – I hated how controlling my father was – and so I told Yossef to meet me at midnight one time. I persuaded Tali, she was twelve at this point, I persuaded her to help me get out of the house. She spent the whole evening nervous and I was worried she would tell Mother and Father, but she did not. She stayed silent and helped me climb out of the skylight in my room. I did not have too much difficulty getting down, and I met Yossef at the front door. He did fear my father, everyone did, so he told me that we could spend an hour together and no longer. It had taken him longer than that to get to the house, so I suggested we go and watch the sky. We climbed into the tree together, he was not very good at climbing trees, and I found it so hard not to laugh at him. Well, in the end he did manage to get up onto the branch, and he sat there and told me he wanted to kiss me!" Tony laughed.

"Shocking!"

"I know! I told him I was not that sort of girl, that I do not just kiss people because they say they want to kiss me, and I told him I wanted him to leave. He just climbed to the next branch across, and I ignored him. I was very angry."

"I can imagine." Tony pressed another kiss to her temple. "I feel sorry for poor Yossef."

"Why?"

"Well, you were angry at him, which is never a good thing, and he didn't get to kiss you."

"Ah, that is where you are mistaken. It was five minutes to one in the morning, and I was still ignoring him, so he decided enough was enough, he was not going to wait anymore when my father could come out at any moment and who knew what my father would do then, so he started to climb down. But I did not want him to leave and I took his wrist and I said 'Yossef, I am sorry. I should not have told you that you cannot kiss me.' And he smiled and climbed back onto the branch and he kissed me."

"And then what happened?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying. Tell me what happened next." He was enjoying himself, in a strange way. In a sick way when he really thought about it.

"Okay. Well, the trees were all blossoming, and I, uh, I sneezed."

"You sneezed?" He was in fits of laughter.

"Yes. I sneezed. And then it was like one thing after another, you know. I sneezed and that made him jump, and because he jumped he fell of the branch, and because he still had his arms around me I fell too. And I hit my head." She realised how funny the story actually was as Tony struggled to regain some form of composure. "So, Yossef, rather embarrassed, limped back to his bicycle, and I walked back to the house, but I had hit my head, as I said, quite badly." She took his hand and lifted it to just behind her hairline. "There is a scar, see?" He ran his finger along it and nodded. "I was suffering from a slight concussion, and so I managed to stagger inside, blood running down the side of my face, and of course I had forgotten that my father would be upset with me when he knew I had been outside at night with Yossef. I slammed the door shut and my father came down and saw me and spent half an hour yelling at me before he realised I was not listening to a word he said. He drove me to the nearest hospital, where they stitched me up, and then he continued yelling. And when he was finished he did not talk to me for a month. He did not even acknowledge my presence." She said, as if in a daze. "Tali, Tali was an angel. She told him that it was her fault, because she had answered a telephone call from Yossef and had arranged it all, because he had suggested it. She then told him that because I was such a good girl that I could not deny a guest my company when they had been invited over, so of course I could not turn him down as it would be rude."

"And what did he say to that?"

"He ignored her for the month. She said she deserved the punishment for helping me and took it like a saint."

"Did your father ever get his hands on Yossef?"

"Last I heard, Yossef has been hiding in Russia from my father."

"How long ago was that?" Tony asked, now truly fearing her father.

"Well, lets see, his mother told me when I bumped into her in town on Tuesday, so…five days ago?"

Tony cringed. "Remind me to never anger Director David."

"Trust me, I do not think you will need reminding." She chuckled, kissing the hollow of his neck. "But do not worry, my little hairy butt. I will not let him get near you."

"I'm back, Baby!" Tony leant against the doorframe to Abby's lab, grinning, his arms spread wide.

"TTTOONNNNYYYYYYYYYYY!" She threw herself at him. "We've all missed you so much and the Director's just been giving poor Timmy and Lee paperwork and no cases at all! It was dreadful seeing him so miserable and… You're not miserable! Eeeeeeee! Is she back? Is she home? Did you bring her home?!" Abby's face lit up more than he had ever seen it. He just shrugged and turned for the elevator. "No time for the elevator Tony! It's too slow!" She squealed as she literally dragged him up the stairs. She dragged him into the squadroom, where he collapsed at his desk – unable to feel his arms or legs – and she flung her arms around Ziva's neck. "Never leave us like that again. Promise?"

"I promise, Abby. I am sorry." She smiled at the familiarity. "But I think there is someone else here who wants to say hello." She pried Abby's arms from around her neck, rubbing where she knew a bruise would form.

"Hey."

"Giiiiiiiiiiibbs!" Abby ran into the retired agent, burying her head into his chest. He leaned his chin on top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. "Are you staying too?" He just sighed and looked at her.

"Just visiting, Abs. Sorry." He pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"No. No. You have to stay now! You're forgetting your own rules! Rule six, remember. Never apologise, it's a sign of weakness! You have to remember, Gibbs."

"I remember, Abs. And I remember rule twelve, too. But they've just been on the sidelines for a bit this week." He hugged her one last time. "Sorry I never properly said goodbye last time. Goodbye, Abby." He took one last look at her face and turned to McGee. "Keep her safe for me, won't you?"

"Sure thing, Boss." He nodded, his voice cracking as Gibbs shook his hand.

"Hey, DiNozzo!" He yelled, hitting the back of Tony's head, surprisingly softly. "Don't screw it up again." He inhaled deeply and placed his hand on his son's head. "You've done me proud." He turned to Ziva and kissed the top of her head. "Be happy. Don't let him hurt you. Ever." He rubbed her cheek with a thumb, and smiled. He looked up to the balcony and nodded to Jenny. She nodded back and he thought that for a second, just a second, he saw a tear slip down her cheek. He walked towards the elevator for the last time. Again. No, this time it would be the last time. He promised himself. He stepped into the silver box and swiped away a tear that had the audacity to try and fall. The metal slid closed in front of him.

Almost.

Ziva's dainty hand jutted through the tiny crack left and she had barely waited for the door to open again as she squeezed through. The doors closed behind her as she stared at him, her face wet with tears. She pointed to the off switch and he smiled, hitting it. For the last time, he promised himself. "I never said thank you."

"What for?"

"Saving me. Giving me a home. A new life. Someone to love. A proper father. Thank you." She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"Hey, don't cry." He pulled her into a hug, being reminded again of Kelly. "What have you got to cry about, huh? Apart from having to put up with DiNozzo?"

"Losing a father?"

"You're not losing a father. Send me an invite to the wedding. I'll even wear a tux."

"But will you give me away at my wedding?" She sobbed into his arms.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." He promised. A lot of promises being made today. He thought to himself. "Go on, Ziva. Be happy. Say yes when he proposes. Marry him. Have lots of children to run around and cause havoc. Love him." He kissed her forehead one last time and dried her eyes for her. She stepped back and nodded, taking a deep breath and standing next to him. She hit the switch again and he tapped the back of her head softly, like he had when she had turned up for the liaison position. But this time her laughs were mixed with tears.

Tony's list of adjectives to describe Ziva

Agile, aggressive, adventurous

Beautiful, brilliant, bold, brave

Creative, clever, crazy, caring, confusing

Daring, diligent, dainty, dangerous

Exotic, elegant

Fierce, fiery

Great, gallant, graceful

Honest, HOT

Intelligent, impulsive, irresistible

Jovial

Kind

Loving, lovable

Magnificent, modest

Nonconformist, noteworthy

Opinionative

Passionate, powerful, practical, perfect

Quaint, quirky

Ravishing, rebellious, respectable, ruthful

Stubborn, scary, seductive, selfless

Tenacious, tantalising

Unforgettable

Valiant, vehement,

Warmhearted, witty

Xenodochial (Depends on the stranger) {Friendly to strangers}

Youthful

Ziva

I wrote the list of adjectives on a three hour bus journey (I know, fun, right?). I thought I would include them, since they were the original inspiration behind the fourth chapter anyway and only really got a brief mention.

I know, I know, Ziva never mentioned killing him with a paperclip until season four, but I just could not resist putting it in there. What do we know, maybe they discussed it before, during one of their 'midnight meetings'?