To anyone reading my Crosswords fanfiction (which I realize will probably be none of you), I swear I meant to update it like 3 weeks ago or something, but I don't know what happened. Not making any promises but it should be out soon.
To anyone who hasn't read my other stuff, please do! (Maybe not my older ones haha totally did not put them on hiatus I mean what).
This is just a one shot :)
Disclaimer: All rights go to uncle Rick, and his wonderful writing. The song this fic is loosely based on goes to the Plain White T's. (I did change some things in the song to make it fit with the story, but eh).
I'm sick. I'm tired. I miss my home and I miss my family. I miss everything. Miss, miss, miss.
There's no way out of it. No way to get home any sooner than planned on my contract.
So, I have to suck it up.
But it's so freaking hard.
I have a concert tomorrow, but I am not up for it. Don't get be wrong... I love my fans. They're my main reason for performing but I'm so homesick.
It's late afternoon, and I still haven't gotten out of bed. I can hear my bandmates moving about outside my room, but they know not to bother me, unless it's important. I stretch and grab my phone, opening up gallery to look at pictures of my beautiful boyfriend.
"Oh, di Angelo. What's it like in New York City?" I mumble, looking at a selfie Nico and I had taken before I left for my world tour and before he left Los Angeles for New York to chase after his dream of becoming a professional photographer.
We're grinning into the camera, and I can see Nico's signature skull ring on his finger, because his arm is tossed lazily over my shoulders.
Currently, I'm in Florida, for the American part of my world tour, before we go to Europe.
That's a thousand miles. That's so far away from you, Nico.
I flick to the next picture- a picture of Nico studying on his bed back in LA, and he has his glasses on, as well as a thin black blanket wrapped around his bare shoulders.
"Will?" Someone called, knocking gently on the door.
"What?"
"We have pizza. Want some?" It's Cecil, the drummer of the band and my best friend since diapers.
"No thanks. I'm not hungry,"
"You're always hungry," Cecil snorts, but leaves me be.
I lay back down and sigh. I can't call Nico now, because I know he's either at class or work. I don't need to call him, because my phone starts vibrating annoyingly beside me.
All the annoyance drains out of me, when I see it's Nico's number.
"Baby! What's up?" I hear a sniffle, and immediately stop smiling.
"Will... Will. Hi,"
"Baby, what's wrong?" I sit up, and swing my legs out of bed.
"You know how my sister's dead?" I wince. He practically spat that out. This is not good. Bianca died when Nico was 10, but Nico was there in the car crash, and remembers it all. Vividly.
"Nico-"
"She wanted to go out for me, right? So that means it's my fault she's dead?"
I shoot out of my bed, only in my boxers and open my door. "Where are you Nico?"
"My dorm. But don't worry about that. It's all my fault, isn't it?" I hear him crying a little heavier now, and I grapple Cecil, holding the receiver away from my mouth so Nico can't hear me.
"Cecil, call Nico's university," I whisper loudly.
"What? Why?"
"Send them to Nico's room. Somethings wrong,"
Cecil is reaching for his phone, and he gives me a look. Our bass guitarist, Jake, watches us with wide eyes. I've known Jake since freshman year, and together, the three of us formed a small band. Then we added in Lou, as back up vocals and keyboard.
Cecil types away at google to find the number quickly, and his look asks if it's that kind of bad. I think it is. It makes my heart hurt.
"Maybe if she didn't hop in the car, or if I was on her side. It's all my fault, Will,"
"Nico. It's not. You couldn't have stopped it. We've been over this,"
"I'm sorry, Will. I love you,"
"I love you t-" But he had hung up. Cecil was talking quickly on his phone, and then hung up.
"They're going now. They sent campus security."
"I'm canceling the show tomorrow and flying out. Call Piper and tell her,"
"Will-"
"Don't fight me on this,"
I received a call from Nico's cell, about three hours later. It was his dad. Nico had, in fact, tried to hurt himself. It ripped violently at my heart, as I boarded the plane, with my manager, Piper, behind me. She had insisted to come, seeing as she's best friends with Nico's cousin and is close with Nico.
The campus had caught him as he was stepping off of a chair, a rope around his neck. Apparently one of the officers had dived to catch him, and nearly missed, too.
I cried on the plane, thinking about how far away I was, and how if only I was closer I could have stopped Nico before any of this happened.
At the center, visiting hours are day and night, so as soon as Piper and I arrived, we met up with Nico's family (his scary dad, chirpy step-mum and half sister).
The two girls had been crying, and Hades, Nico's dad, had a grim look on his face.
I was allowed to see him the next day, but not the first, as he was apparently, off the charts. Screaming at anyone who even stepped into his room, and he refused to eat, swearing and cursing at the guy who saved him.
I started a fight with one of the nurses, telling him that he would let me in. I can help. But he refused, saying that if he didn't want to see his family, he wouldn't want to see a distant boyfriend. (I think the guy was also slightly homophobic, with the way he spat out boyfriend like it was the plague).
One of the doctors eventually intervened, telling me that I had ten minutes to make him cooporate, or even to just stop cussing, or anything, or I had to get out.
I stepped into his room, and he was asleep. I gently closed the door behind me, trying not to wake him. I could never sneak up on him though, and I heard him groan.
"Whoever you are, get out," His back was to me, and I moved to his bed, only three long strides. I kicked off my shoes and sat down, and he instantly pushed me away, without looking. I grabbed his wrist, probably a little tighter than necessary, and climbed in behind him, putting his arm back in front of him, and wrapping my arms around him like a big cocoon.
"Who-?" He turned his head slightly, and caught a glimpse of my curls.
"It's okay, Nico." I said, brushing some hair away from his face. I caught a glimpse of a bruise along his neck, and swallowed.
"I'm sorry, Will. I'm so, so sorry,"
"Don't apologize. We're both here, and I'm not going anywhere for the time being,"
"Okay," I grabbed out Nico's thick framed glasses that I had picked up from his dorm, and slipped them on his face.
"I know you get headaches if you don't wear them,"
"Thanks, Will,"
Nico stayed in the center for eight weeks, and I didn't go back on tour. It was postponed until further notice. The fans all complained, wondering why we had postponed. Piper sent out a viral message saying that we ask to be left alone, and that this is family issues.
Most understood and left it, going back to praising our music, but there are thr crazy ones who think that if they know us, if they stalk us, they're special. I ignore them.
Nico's steady recovery was amazing. The first four weeks were hard, but eventually he realized staying inside the clinic is not helping him achieve his goal of becoming a photographer.
A week after Nico's release, Piper said that we're scheduled for our tour in two weeks. Ugh.
"Are you sure you'll be okay, over here?" I asked him one night, sitting in his dorm, on his bed, legs tangled with sheets. I was tracing his delicate bruises along his neck, which somehow still haven't faded. Nico had an odd condition with his blood and skin, making his bruises last longer than usual.
The bruise around his throat and neck are scary to look at, sometimes. I always think back to that day.
"I'll be okay," He says softly, reaching over me to grab his think framed glasses from his bedside table. "I'll watch you on television every time you're on," I smile and kiss his nose, my eyelashes fluttering against his glasses.
"Okay. If you ever need to call, call me, even if I'm in the middle of a concert, okay? One of the assistants will pick up and I'll talk with you, while we move up our guest stars, so no one notices,"
"Thanks, Will,"
"Anything for my Nico,"
Nico leaned up and pressed his lips to mine, a simple innocent closed mouth kiss. He leaned back, a smile on his face- I take special pride when I can get him to smile like that.
I tugged him forward, and kissed him again, parting our lips slowly. Nico hummed in approval, thumbing the bottom of my shirt. I let him tug it off, and he pulled back to run his fingers over my chest. I shivered slightly, but watched as he ran his fingers up and down my stomach and chest. I love this person so, so much it hurts. I love how he doesn't like techno music, but could listen to a record play jazz all day long. I love how he's so behind on technology, (I'm not even joking I had to teach him how to use a phone, and toasters were a big thing too. He never understood technology) but if I opened up a photo editing application, he'd know hands down how to use it to make the most beautiful edits.
I love how he's not a morning person but still used to wake up at 5:30am, everyday, because I go on a jog before school and sometimes felt lonely, so he'd join me. Even though he hates running too.
I love how his favourite colour is green, because that was his older sister's favourite colour, and he loved her so much, that he loved the things she loved.
I love his body, too. The tattoo's running down his shoulder blades, and over his shoulder. The intricate eagle he had tattoo'd, but the eagle has no feathers. It was dead. But still beautiful.
Love, love, love.
I left too soon. It made me sad to leave Nico, to head back to our last place we didn't perform at. I spun Nico around in the airport and kissed him quickly, but many, many times.
And then we were a thousand miles away from eachother. But, there are planes, and trains and cars, and I'll get to him if I must.
Oh my god.
In the middle of the plane ride, I leapt from my seat to grab my writing book, humming a tune out, writing down the lyrics and some notes. This will be perfect.
"Will's got some inspiration," I heard Cecil mutter and I grinned.
I couldn't get the song ready for our first Florida concert, but by our second (two out of three), it was ready.
I was hoping Nico was watching the concert, as I walked onto the stage, the familiar lights blaring into my eyes. The band played a few regulars, then there was a lull.
"Okay guys," I spoke lowly, into the microphone. "This one's a new one," The crowd roared, and I smiled. "It's for somebody special out there, you all know who, this one's for you, Nico,"
The crowd screamed their approval as I sat down on a stool, my acoustic in hand. My bandmates grinned as they walked off stage, glad to have a bit of a rest before we start again.
I started with a simple guitar intro, before opening my mouth to sing.
Hey there di Angelo
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But boy, tonight you look so lively
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Even though he went through so much, both of us together, I still think he's my star. My baby, my one and only.
Hey there di Angelo
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey there di Angelo
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, boy
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
Hey there di Angelo
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all
I do have so much to tell him. I have so much to share- my family my friends he's never met. Sides of me that will be for his eyes alone. I can't do that if he tries to kill himself again. I'm only hoping this song helps him on his journey.
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
And we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Some of our friends may argue that they do feel the kind of love we cherish and hold dear, but they couldn't possibly. They are not in love with you, Nico. They do not get to see you breathless and sweating underneath them whenever they want, or get to lean over on the subway and kiss your cheek, making a small blush spread along your cheek bones.
Di Angelo I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there di Angelo
You be good and don't you miss me
Three more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there di Angelo here's to you
This one's for you
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.
I trailed off, my voice cracking a little bit at the emotional strain of the song, and the heavy meaning behind it.
The crowd paused for a second, and I only just noticed then, that most of them had lighters up, or gloe sticks, swaying with the music. The audience suddenly roared in approval, and I was so startled by it, I almost dropped my baby guitar.
That night, a certain black haired grumpy cutie called me, crying happy tears.
"That was so beautiful, Will," He hiccuped. "I have a song named after me," He sniffed. "You're so beautiful, Will,"
"You are too, Nico,"
"No you're just... the most beautiful thing to ever happen in my life." I smiled tentatively, and picked at imaginary lint on the hotel pillow.
"I love you, baby,"
"I love you too, beautiful,"
He seemed so much more happier, now, compared to before. I think those eight weeks really helped him pull through the thick and ugly, to say hello from the other side.
Please R&R! Makes me feel great!
Constructive criticism welcome, as are flames and all that. Your opinions matter! (Even though I don't know you haha)
Did anyone catch what I did at the end? Hehe maybe a sequel will be coming if I can do it.