While Hux was a diligent student, and he typically was never one to skip classes, he made an exception today. Instead, he returned to his dorm room and went straight to the bathroom.

He striped down and turned the shower on so it could warm up. He looked at his face in the mirror, closely inspecting it for any visible bruises, but all he saw was a soft pink mark where his father slapped him. He touched it gingerly and despite feeling pain, he did not wince. His fingers then moved to his throat. He gently stroked it and remembered the blissful pain. It was unlike anything he had felt before. The rush of feeling his life slowly fade away. It was exhilarating. How he craved to be punished like that again.

His fingers moved from his throat to his ribs, were a large purple bruise was taking form. He pressed it and the pain shocked his system. It sent an electric wave throughout his whole body, but his face in the mirror showed no such excruciating emotion. He knew he should see a medical droid and get it examined, but that sweet joyous pain was far too intoxicating. He didn't want it patched up just yet.

His eyes then wandered down so he was looking at himself and saw how stiff he was. His attention then turned to the mirror once more and he took a moment to truly looked at himself. He was disgusted with what he saw. Dilated pupils. Eyes glossed over. A shade of red brighter than the slap mark was forming. And lastly, a grin filled with a lustful hunger was beaming. He formed a shaking fist and wanted to punch the mirror, but such a mess would prove difficult to explain. So, he resisted. Instead he stepped into the shower, and let the abuse he received from that Force wielding boy replay in his memory. As he began to recall the moments, his hand instinctively wrapped around his cock. He started slow, but as the memory of that initial force push came, he began going harder. He crouched over and let the water fall on his back as he shamefully moaned in pleasure. Then he flashed to being choked. How he could feel his own life slipping away and it became impossible to breathe. How his heart stopped pounding and blood rushed to his head as oxygen left. How arousing it was being in that state, and the memory was just as. Then as he remembered being released from that titillating state, so did he. He watched as the cum haphazardly landed on the shower floor only to be washed down drain by the water.

And then the most peculiar thing happened, he started laughing. Not a joyful one mind you, but one full of derision. How he hated himself. Was disgusted that such bodily pain did nothing but bring him pleasure. But what made it worse was that his body craved more. Hux had never felt such pain inflicted on him. Been to the point where he thought death was an actuality. His body wanted to feel it again, and see if it would be just as stimulating a second time.

He lifted up his hands and looked at the scarred palms. "If only everybody knew how damaged and broken I really am-" He spoke bitterly to himself, but didn't finish the thought. He wouldn't allow himself to do that. It would make him weak.

He needs to embrace who he is fully. Then, and only then, will he be able to rise in power.

Just four more years.

He could learn how to do it by then. To accept that he is damaged beyond any form of repair. He just needs to give in to his madness. Welcome it like an old friend. Because without it, rising to the top of the First Order will be a more arduous task than it already is.

He has a plan. And while he is still perfecting it, there are still some general rules he must follow. And sympathy, especially for himself, is forbidden. It will cloud his judgment. Hold him back. He must be stoic, apathetic. Indifferent towards the feelings of other and at times, himself. No attachments or distractions. All there is is he and the Order, and that is all that should matter.

A knocking at his door snapped him back into reality. He grabbed his robe and wrapped it around his body before heading towards the door. "Yes?" He questioned as his hand hovered over the pad to allow his visitor access.

"Cadet Hux, you have a message."

Hux allowed the door to crack open the slightest so the superior officer could hand him the paper note. "Thank you sir." He said with a barely visible head bow before allowing to door to slide shut.

He carefully opened the intricately folded paper and smiled the moment he saw the words. It was wise of him to skip class. Or maybe he should have gone. He would have reveled in the very warranted jealousy his classmates already possess towards him. And this was further proof. Showed them how lazy and weak they are in comparison. Those reminders for his classmates were good. Because it would remind them who holds actually holds the power and influence in the upcoming regime that will be his First Order.

Hux stood in front of the door. It was one he has stood before many times. The other cadets and even some of the teachers at the academy were jealous of the relationship that he had with Snoke. For they never were summoned to the Supreme Leader's office as much as he.

Even though Snoke's visits were few and far between, they were never without their purpose. But this day's visit was perplexing to Hux. So he hoped with their private meeting, it would shed some light on what the meaning of this day was.

Hux was about to knock on the door, but it opened on its own. "Cadet Hux." Snoke said as he entered the office. "I appreciate all your work today." The door shut behind him and he entered further into the room. "You performed admirably."

"When you asked me to deal with that Republic sympathizing cadet, I was not expecting an audience." Hux said coolly.

"And what would you have done had I told you my true intentions?"

Hux wanted to say he would have brought a real blaster, but kept that thought to himself. It would not be prudent to speak to the Supreme Leader in such a way. "I regret to say I am still unable to comprehend what your intentions were with me or that boy." he said through his gritted teeth.

"I wanted to see how he would react to such a situation." Snoke stated simply. Hux scoffed irately at the thought of him. How he loathed that boy for what he did to him; bringing such a pleasureful pain that once again reminded him of what a revolting human being he is. "What do you make of him? Ben Solo?" He questioned, ignoring the cadets obvious distaste for the boy.

"He must be a spy. Sent here by his mother." Hux said quickly, but waved off the thought. "But I know that not to be true."

"And why is that?" Snoke inquired, curious as to what the young student would say.

"It's hard to explain, but when he was choking me, there was something in his eyes. Such passion. Such rage. But it was not in offence at what I called him nor his mother and father. But something else entirely. It was as if he despised the very idea that I thought he was anything like his parents." Snoke smiled, but said nothing. "I don't understand Supreme Leader." Hux said honestly after a few moment of silence passed and he realized he would get no confirmation or denial from Snoke. "That boy is the child of the enemy. The blood of those who brought down the once mighty Empire. So unless you had absolute confidence that he would not tell his parents about this visit, why would you invite him? A boy whose family was once so highly regarded for their asinine ideals, abilities in the Force or not, he could be a danger to our cause."

"You once confided in me that it was your greatest ambition to surpass your hero. The late commander of the first Death Star, Grand Moff Trakin. All your education. Everything you have done for the future of the First Order has been with that goal in mind, has it not?" Hux didn't say anything but he nodded in agreement. It's true, when he was younger that was his dream, but now, now he has something much bigger in mind. A goal so scandalous, that he could never tell the Supreme Leader. He clenched his hands tightly, and his nails scraped some partially healed skin off his palm in the process.

"Supreme Leader, I don't see how these two things are connected-"

"When Ben Solo returns, and he will, I want you to show him around. Teach him about the First Order. The Academy. Our Goals. Ideals." Hux wanted to speak up. Why should he have to babysit Snoke's latest infatuation? He is busy enough as it is with his classwork and unofficial extra curricular activities. He didn't have time to divulge their secrets to the son of their greatest enemy. And yet, he knew it wouldn't be prudent to argue with the Supreme Leader. He has known him for thirteen years, and knew well enough when to hold his tongue. He has stayed in his good graces for this long, and needed it to continue. So long as Snoke knew his name and favored him, he was almost guaranteed a high ranking position when he graduates. Just four more years left. Then, he would no longer be a cadet, but an official officer of the First Order. "I will still see the boy, teach him what others fear to. But while I am occupied I want you to reinforce the good the First Order will bring to the galaxy, and the corruption his family has wrought."

Hux gritted his teeth. How he wished he could refuse. Fight like he does with his father. Retaliate. But for Snoke and his future, he would put up with the brat for the time being. "Of course Supreme Leader."

When Hux was excused, he headed out into the hall and the speak system buzzed, signaling the end of a class. Cadets swarmed out of the classroom as did a few of the teachers, but Hux could not so easily blend in. In fact, as he roamed the halls and the campus, most of the cadets did everything in their power to avoid him. No eye contact. Not even an accidental bump in the madness. He was untouchable and that's how it will remain. Even after graduation, his classmates and the officers above him will learn to fear and respect him.

"Cadet Hux." One of the teachers shouted over the chaos of the hall. Hux came to a stop and turned around to see who was calling out to him. The other cadets parted like waves so he was easily reachable. "I hope you have a valid excuse as to why you decided to skip my class today."

"If you require a note for my leave, you can procure one from Supreme Leader Snoke."

Hux watched as the older man's hand balled into a shaking fist. As vein on his forehead started to protrude and his tongue slithered out to moisten his lips. Hux could imagine the millions of curses running through his superiors head, and withheld a laugh.

"If that will be all sir, I do have one more class for the day. And I would hate being late." With that he turned around and headed to the practice range.