Secrets left unsaid

Everyone is born with things they want to hide, some are small others are too dangerous for others to know or even understand. Mine are the latter. I'm Antonia Daphne Logan Cale 'Toni' DiNozzo, Senior Field Agent of NCIS' Major Case Response Team under Special Agent and former Gunnery Sargent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Man, I hope he never finds out.

When I was young, I lived for a while in Seattle with my late mother's brother Jonas Cale, Uncle Jonas hated my dad and I wasn't much different in my own opinions. Dad and I never got along, I hit off all the time with Uncle Jonas. He understood me, even though I was a dorky nerd with silver wire-rimmed glasses and blue eyes with scruffy brunette hair cut short. I finished High School in Seattle and went to Yale to study journalism, but I only finished my first year. Why? The Pulse. That wreaked my chances of finishing school, but I am an expert hacker, even better than the Probie, Timothy McGee, not that he's gonna find out about it.

When I left Yale, I set up an expertly encrypted program and broadcasted under the codename 'Eyes Only', Uncle Jonas never knew it was me trying to oust Manticore. But then I met him. A transgenic named Max, he had broken into my apartment and I was stunned to see anyone like him. That's when I began to help him find the other eleven transgenic's that had escaped ten years ago, it was also when he and I began to slowly, but surely, fall in love. Then came my accident which left me paralysed in a wheelchair for a couple of years.

When Max and Alec, another transgenic, got me to the hospital for an experimental operation (well, at the time I didn't know as I was knocked out) I woke to find myself able to walk once again. After stopping Manticore, Max and the other transgenic's left Seattle to live in other parts of America, as for me? I left to live with my dad, Anthony Dante DiNozzo, again. But then I moved away to join the police force in Baltimore as a beat cop, there I met Danny and on a drugs bust one day, I met the man I would be like a daughter to, Leroy Jethro Gibbs himself of Naval Investigative Service, I would change that to NCIS, Naval Criminal Investigative Service when I left Baltimore after discovering Danny being corrupt.

I shook my head mentally and pushed all my thoughts of my past aside, I definitely missed Max and wondered how he was doing. I still kept in touch with Alec after he found his family once more, the Winchester's were good friends of mine and called on me when my expertise in computers was needed if Sam couldn't hack into a certain system on his own or if Dean (as Alec was now called) was in trouble with the law again (mainly if it was Washington D.C).

Gibbs looked at me as I gazed off into the distance and threw a wad of paper at my head as he walked down from Vance's office "working boss!" I said, focusing back on the task at hand. Usually, I was joking around and winding up Ziva and Tim, but I wasn't in the mood for some reason today. Gibbs always told me to listen to my gut and it was telling me something was about to go wrong and it was linked to my past as Logan Cale. It had something to do with Max and Alec, but Alec was careful not to be caught using his abilities on his hunts.

"Toni, you alright?" Gibbs asked, as he walked into our part of the squad room "yeah, fine Boss. Why?" I ask, maybe I was a little nervous of what today would bring, maybe I was just tired, who knows what goes on in my head. "The lack of teasing McGee and Ziva is one thing, but you're barely here, what's wrong?" He said, knowing Gibbs he would accept me for the girl I was and not some cyber-criminal from Seattle with the transgenic friends too. "Boss, I'm fine, just a little on edge. Something's not right and I just don't know what" I said. Gibbs nodded "listening to that instinct?" He said, I nodded "I just hope I'm wrong, Gibbs."

Gibbs nodded and walked to his desk with a fresh coffee that I'd left there on earlier when I came in. Whoa, almost forgot, earlier when I said I wore glasses? I don't anymore. I got contact lenses to differentiate Logan Cale from Antonia 'Toni' Daphne DiNozzo, okay I've worn my glasses a few times at work, but only when I've forgotten to get new contacts again. But back to the present and onto another case, but this time it was linked directly to my past.

I finally got my wish to see Max again, but I wasn't expecting him to find me at a crime scene with my team/family "hi Logan" I looked up startled to hear myself called that name again, I turned and saw a boy dressed in black and wearing a black leather jacket "Max?" I whispered in shock, I hadn't seen him or heard from him since both he and I had left Seattle. Gibbs looked over at me and I swore I saw the 'you're-going-to-explain-everything-when-we-get-back-to-base' glare cross his face when he walked over to Max and asked him to come with us, Max looked at me and I gave him the smallest of nods, if I trust him, Max can too.

As soon as I walked back into NCIS and up to the squad room, Gibbs pulled me to the side "alright, can you explain what the damn well is going on?" He demanded, glaring at me "boss, can we wait until Abby, Ducky, Jimmy and the Director are here, I wanna go over this once and not to repeat myself" I begged him, I was practically close to tears about all this. Gibbs was always trying to figure out my past, but he hated it when I got upset. He understood and called Tim, Ziva, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy and Director Vance into one of the conference rooms where I began to explain everything about the past in Seattle I kept hidden from them. One bad thing? I was standing on my feet and I still have muscle problems.

I suddenly collapsed and Gibbs quickly caught me "damn it, when was the last time you went to the hospital about you muscles?" Max snapped, I blushed crimson "ten years ago? Last time I was in hospital was my brush with bubonic plague" I admitted, Gibbs helped me into a chair and asked "what was that, Toni?" I looked up at my team "remember when I said I had been in an accident in Seattle? I was shot in the back and it damaged my spinal cord. I was practically paralysed and in a wheelchair for months until Max gave me a blood transfusion and that healed me over time and gave me the use of my legs again" I said, Gibbs still looked concerned, surprisingly as did Director Vance "DiNozzo, how long ago was this?" He asked "uh…maybe ten years ago" I said nervously, blushing crimson again, Gibbs glared.

"Wonder why I'm late sometimes?" I Said, realisation dawned on my team. They now knew what held me up some mornings, my leg problems and I had to get physiotherapy to keep them going. Luckily I had my old wheelchair in my car just in case I needed it at work, now was a time to use it and also time to be stuck in the office like I used to do as Logan Cale.

I told Tim where my old wheelchair was and when he came back up, he and Gibbs eased me into the chair "ah man, why does this always happen to me?" I complained, Gibbs looked at me "sorry boss" I said, looking ashamed of myself again "Toni, just warn us when something like this is gonna happen" he said, I shrugged "sometimes it's for days" I told him.

I wheeled myself back down to the squad room with my team and got back to work on the case that involved Max's people "Eyes Only, I've been wondering when you'd show up again" a voice said when I picked up my ringing desk phone, the colour left my face as Lydecker's voice came into my ear "what d'you want, Lydecker?" I hissed angrily, Gibbs motioned to put it on loudspeaker, I nodded and pressed a few buttons and replaced the phone on the rack "well, I want Max back where he and Alec belong" I curled my hands into fists "never gonna happen, not when I'm around" I said, my voice on the verge of screaming.

Gibbs put a hand on my shoulder "Lydecker, leave Logan and Max out of this, you want them? You're gonna have to go through NCIS to get them" he warned and hung the phone up "sorry Gibbs" he looked at me curiously, then slapped me hard on the back of the head "rule #8, Cale" he barked, usung my other name "never apologise, it means weakness" Tim, Ziva and I chorused.