One

The first time Dean and Seamus kiss, they're thirteen. It's not a real kiss, and Dean goes through a phase of trying to forget it completely, denying it "counts" and then desperately wishing it did, before finally seeing it as what it is – an act of friendship, mostly.

It happens because Dean is freaking out a little bit. It's the end of their second year and it's been a strange one since the beginning, but now it's just downright terrifying. People are getting petrified at a faster rate, and they are all Muggle-borns. Dean knows that no one is sure about him in that regard, least of all Dean himself, but he doubts someone who goes around hurting people like that is going to care much about a technicality.

"What if I'm next?" he asks, pacing. They're alone in their dormitory. Neville is in the common room, and Merlin knows where Harry and Ron are. Probably in danger, as usual.

"I could be next," Dean says, dropping down on his bed.

"You aren't going to be next," Seamus says.

This is weird, Dean thinks. Usually he's the one who's rational, and Seamus – well. Isn't. That much, anyway. But that's how Dean likes it.

He doesn't want to be afraid. He's in Gryffindor. He shouldn't be afraid.

"They might be after Gryffindors," he says. "They got two already. Three, if you count Nearly-headless Nick!"

"You're not going to be next," Seamus says a bit more forcefully than earlier. "You aren't."

If Dean were older, he'd realize Seamus is trying to convince himself just as much as he's trying to convince his best friend, but they're in second year, so he mostly hears an empty, if kind, promise.

Seamus sits down on the bed next to Dean. "Don't worry," he says. "I'll just go everywhere with you. If you're not alone, no one is going to attack you, you know."

Dean wonders what it would be like to spend all his time with Seamus for a second, then realizes that he does that already.

He tries hard to calm down. "Okay," he says. "Okay."

But it's not, and Seamus can tell. "I promise," he says, and kisses Dean.

It's just the quickest, lightest press of lips, but still. Dean's never kissed anybody, and he thinks Seamus probably hasn't either.

They stare at each other for a second.

Seamus moves away a little.

"It's going to be fine," he says.

Dean believes him.

Two

The World Cup is awesome. Sure, Quidditch will never be football, but it's still cool, and Dean hasn't had this much fun in ages. He can't stop thanking Mrs Finnigan for letting him come along. They're all decked out in green fan articles, because even though Dean doesn't care that much who wins in the end, Mrs Finnigan has made sure to make him swear his commitment to the Irish team.

"Dean, stop saying thank you," she finally says as they're walking up to their seats. "It's fine. We like having you here, honestly."

"Sorry," he says hurriedly. You don't mess with Seamus' mum.

Seamus grins at Dean over his shoulder.

"Me mam likes you, you know that, so stop thanking her," Seamus had said the night before. "Seriously, if she could, she'd adopt you."

Dean doesn't think that's true, and Seamus' mum is scary, so he goes by the philosophy of better thanking her too much than too little. The same goes for apologizing.

In any case, the cup is amazing, and they're completely out of it when they walk back to the tent, so much that they're shouting at each other how great it was and how they won and then they're kissing even though there are people and Seamus' mum is right in front of them and will turn around if she realizes they're no longer walking with her and Dean doesn't even know who started this, not that he cares.

He pulls away reluctantly. "Your mum," he says quietly.

Seamus jolts. "Right," he says, still watching Dean's lips.

"What is this?" Dean asks. Really, he wants to ask What are we now? But he doesn't know if that would go over well.

"Euphoria," Seamus says.

Dean'll take it.

Three

He goes to the Yule Ball with a Hufflepuff named Megan, because he's definitely not showing up to that alone. He asks her on a date after the ball, relieved that she's very nice about it and agrees immediately.

"Sure, I'd love to." She beams at him.

He smiles back. He doesn't manage to be quite as enthusiastic as she is.

They agree to go to the Three Broomsticks the following Hogsmeade weekend. Thankfully, she has expressed disdain for Madame Puddifoot's, which Lavender and Parvati have been giggling about all the time lately. It does not sound like the kind of place Dean would feel comfortable in.

He's getting ready in the dormitory when Seamus comes in.

"Hey," Seamus says. "You haven't left yet?"

"I'm going in a minute," Dean says, checking his hair in the mirror.

Seamus smirks and Dean throws him a glare.

"Are you nervous?" Seamus asks.

Dean shrugs, even as he feels like he might throw up.

"Don't be, it's easy," Seamus says. "You buy her a butterbeer, talk to her about stuff she likes for a while, walk her back to the castle, kiss her before you get there –"

"Kiss her?" Dean asks, his voice embarrassingly high all of a sudden. "What do you mean, kiss her?"

"I mean, kiss her?" Seamus says slowly, giving him a look. "She probably expects you to, you know."

"But – but –" Dean doesn't manage to construct a sentence.

"But what?" The look Seamus is giving him now is rather more cunning than usual.

"But I've never kissed anyone before. I'm kind of worried I'll do it wrong."

That time after the world cup doesn't count, he reminds himself. And neither does the one in second year. Definitely not.

Seamus briefly raises an eyebrow, then gets up. They're suddenly standing very close.

"Don't be, it's easy," Seamus says again, leans up slightly and kisses Dean.

It's different than the other times, much more – well. All Dean can think as he kisses back is that this one probably counts.

Four

He's dating one of the coolest and most popular girls in the school, plus she's hot, and he's been told he's going to be on the Quidditch team to fill in for Katie Bell, so he's feeling pretty good right now.

Until he catches up to Seamus after class, that is.

"Hey," he says. "Did you hear what Harry told me earlier? I'm going to be on the team!"

"Good for you." Seamus doesn't look at him.

Dean stops. He expects Seamus to stop walking too, to turn to him, to have a bit of a fight, and then everything will be alright. They might kiss, too. Dean immediately curses himself for even having that thought, because one, he's with Ginny, two, nothing of the sort has happened since that time in fourth year and they haven't spoken about it or acknowledged it in any way since then, and three, he really, really has to stop thinking about kissing his best friend. Really. And he will. Right now.

Seamus just walks on.

Dean grabs his friend's arm and makes him stop. Seamus turns and looks him in the eyes. "I'm in a hurry," he says.

"We've got time," Dean replies, and pulls Seamus into the next empty classroom.

"I can not do it, if you want," Dean says.

Seamus stares at him. "Do what?"

"The Quidditch team thing," Dean says. "I can just leave it, they'll find someone else."

They both know that Seamus is most likely next on the Chaser replacement list.

Seamus keeps staring. "You mean – you wouldn't – if I didn't want –"

"If you didn't want me to, of course I wouldn't," Dean says, because how can Seamus doubt for a second that he's the most important –

Seamus presses him up against the wall and kisses him.

Dean yelps and Seamus flinches back, starting to apologize, but Dean pulls him close again.

"It's okay," he gasps between kisses. "Just surprised, is all. Haven't – oh – We haven't done this in a while –"

"You stupid – Why do you make everything so complicated?" Seamus growls, barely stopping snogging the hell out of Dean in order to speak.

"Do I?" Dean asks, dazed, but not too dazed to run his hands up and down Seamus' back, to feel his muscles tense up and relax again, to get lost in the feeling of Seamus' lips against his.

"This is nice," he manages, when they have to come up for air.

"Shut up," Seamus says, annoyed, and Dean laughs but obeys, because there's stuff he'd rather be doing now –

Someone clears their throat next to them.

They break apart and Dean nearly has a heart attack.

They're dead. They're so dead.

"Mr Thomas, Mr Finnigan," Professor McGonagall says icily. "Shouldn't you both be in class right now?"

They start nodding like crazy.

"Then hurry up and get there," she says, ushering them out of the room.

"At least it wasn't Snape," Seamus mutters as they walk down the corridor.

Dean shudders at the thought.

Just before they turn the corner, Dean looks back at Professor McGonagall. He could swear she has the tiniest of smiles on her face.

Five

Dean goes on the run. It's really the only option.

He stops by Seamus' house and Mrs Finnigan opens the door.

"Hello, Dean," she says, hugging him to his surprise.

"Hello, Mrs Finnigan," he says. "I'm here to see Seamus."

"Of course," she says, nodding. "He's upstairs." She gives him a long look. "If you need anything, Dean, you know we are always happy to help you."

"Thanks," he manages, and hurries up to Seamus' room.

He knocks. This won't be easy, but he has to say goodbye. Who knows what might happen until they see each other again.

Seamus opens the door and grins at him.

"Dean!" he says, "Mate, what are you doing here? I didn't expect you!"

He pulls Dean into the room and they look at each other for a second. Seamus' grin fades.

"What's going on?" he asks seriously.

They sit down on the bed and Dean tries to find the right words to say.

"I'm leaving," he says.

It occurs to him that those are probably not the right words.

"What?"

"Just – you know. I can't go back to Hogwarts. I can't prove I have wizard blood, so it's quite dangerous, I have to –"

"You can't leave," Seamus says. His voice is pure denial. "You can't. I'll keep you safe at Hogwarts, I won't let anyone –"

"Seamus. There will be Death Eaters there. Hell, one of them's going to be the headmaster."

"Okay. Okay. Then – I don't know. I'll go with you, and we can wait this whole thing out –"

"You can't," Dean says. "That's ridiculous, you'd be putting yourself in completely unnecessary danger, I won't let you do that."

"I won't let you go alone."

"I have to, and I have to do it now."

He takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair, then continues to speak before Seamus can protest. "Could you – could you maybe take care of my family a bit? Just, if you have time –"

"Yeah," Seamus says without hesitation.

"Okay." Dean swallows. His throat feels parched. "I should go now."

Neither of them moves.

Seamus just looks at him for a long while, and Dean is starting to worry.

"You can't leave me," Seamus says finally. "Dean, don't, please."

Dean laughs, slightly hysterically, and runs his hands over his face. He's never seen Seamus so helpless, and it's almost scary. "I don't want to, Seamus, believe me, I don't, but this is the only thing I can do right now. I'll come back when it's over."

"You can't promise that," Seamus says, his voice getting louder. Dean doesn't want to fight, not now, actually, not ever, there's not enough time for that when there's so much more important things.

"Yes," Dean says. "To you, I can."

He kisses Seamus, kisses him like he never has before, like he's never done anything, now that he thinks about it.

He doesn't stop for a long time.

+ One

They won.

It's not quite sunk in yet, but they did.

Dean looks around the great hall. People are sitting everywhere, tending each other's wounds, talking, crying.

They won.

They don't have to be afraid anymore. Everything is going to be alright.

He looks to his side where Seamus is asleep against his shoulder, exhausted from the battle and the horrible year he's had.

Seamus' face is swollen and scraped and barely recognisable, and it makes Dean angry to think about the people who did this and what he'll do to them if he ever gets his hands on them.

He is distracted from his thoughts when Luna jumps up from her seat at the next table and shouts that there's a Glibbering Humbinger or something. Everybody looks. Dean can't help but throw Luna a smile. She smiles back. He's glad they've become friends.

Seamus moves a little, muttering something – he's always talked in his sleep, ever since Dean can remember – and Dean runs a hand down his back.

He wants to hold Seamus, to kiss him, to take him somewhere they can be alone with each other after this year, after everything, but this isn't the time.

They're exhausted, and they need to eat, and to sleep, and to talk. To talk about lots of things, but Dean isn't afraid. It'll be fine now. He thinks of that last night before he went on the run and the things they said to each other then. He wants to say them again, and so many other things he's never said to anyone. And he wants to kiss Seamus. A lot. Not that that's new.

But Dean's waited years. He can wait a little longer.

They have more than enough time now.