A/N: Okay, I just so happen to have a giant thing for those "my life is a video game fanfics" and much to my chagrin, I was unable to find any fics like this in the Criminal Minds fandom. So I decided to remedy that little problem. This is pretty much inspired by "Naruto: Game of the Year" and all other fics like it. Also inspired by "The Gamer" manga. Please enjoy the read~

Population statistics on the hereditary of schizophrenia estimate that a child with one diagnosed parent has approximately a 10% chance of developing the disease themselves, yet research indicates that the inheritance of the complex disorder likely involves a number of various genetic factors. Meaning, he may have inherited a predisposition to the disorder but that does not necessarily guarantee that he would develop the disease. Reid frowned.

It was at that moment, waiting for a case briefing, that Reid's world tilted on its axis. All of a sudden, in that tiny moment, his entire life up until this point seemed inconsequential. Every moment of toe-curling joy or tear-jerking grief meant absolutely nothing as every single one of his 187 IQ points kicked his jellied brain into action. He was beyond shocked. Or maybe he was just so shocked that he had just come full circle and now he just felt numb. Only one thought went through his mind:

I. . . Am insane.

A floating panel hovered in front of his face, defying all laws of science and completely obliterating everything that he thought he knew about the world.

It flashed a bright blue and words appeared:

A DASTARDLY VILLAIN IS ON THE LOOSE, WATCH OUT! AS A PROFILER OF THE FBI, IT IS YOUR DUTY TO HUNT DOWN THIS NASTY S.O.B. IF YOU SUCCEED, TREASURE AND BOOTY AWAITS YOU! \(^_')/

. . . HOWEVER, IF YOU FAIL WHAT AWAITS IS A PAINFUL DEATH! (~ 0 ~) . . .

DO YOU ACCEPT THE MISSION: "DROPPIN' BOMBSHELLS"?

YES/NO

'Huh, mission. I-' Ried's brain was still leaking out of his ears.

In a trance, Reid's trembling hand hovered over the YES/NO buttons. With one finger, he hesatatingly pressed the "YES" button against his better judgement.

THAT IS JUST SUPER! THE BRIEFING WILL BEGIN SHORTLY. . .

The blue text box flashed briefly and then faded away. The abject horror was plain on Reid's face. He came to his senses. He and Morgan were sitting at a long table in the bullpen. They had been summoned there by Hotch, awaiting a team briefing on a new case. The others had yet to arrive. Morgan was using this oppertunity to catch up on some long overdue paperwork. He looked pretty intently focused on the massive pile of paper and was frowning and chewing his pen.

"M- Mor- Morgan!"

"What's up Reid, I'm kinda busy here." Morgan didn't look up from his writing.

"Did- did you see that?" Reid leapt from his chair and vigorously shook Morgan, much to his annoyance.

"What!" he frowned at the scribbles covering his paper. "Damn, you made me mess up."

"Tha- that b-blue box -it was. . . uh. . . just here. . . d-did you see it?"

Now Morgan looked up from his work and fixed Reid with a scrutinizing stare.

"Did you lose something, Kid?"

"No- well, it's just that I, uuuh. . . never mind. . ." He trailed off. He avoided Morgans eyes. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why the hell did he even ask. Now everyone will think he's crazy.

Now Morgan was giving him his complete undivided attention. He narrowed his eyes and studied Ried closely. No doubt he was thinking profiler-y thoughts. Reid squirmed uncomfortably.

"You okay Ried? You look a little pale."

"N-no, I'm fine. I should probably just get an earlier night." Reid ran his clammy hand over his face and through his stringy hair. He silently damned his genius mind in his head. That was an atricious lie. Seriously three doctorates and that was the best he could think of.

Morgan took a swig of his bitter coffee. Reid did the same.

"What, JJ keeping you up all night?"

Reid looked at him cluelessly.

"Y'know. . . Gettin' it on."

Reid spluttered into his coffee cup and his face lit up red.

"Oh, how about Prentiss?"

Reid thought his face would spontaneously combust. He wanted to disappear into the ground.

". . .Wait. . . Strauss?"

Reid choked on his coffee. He flailed his arm at Morgan's head. It connected with a satisfying yelp on Morgan's part. Ried coughed the last of the coffee out of his lungs and sat back down, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"You are an ass." He grumbled. Reid wished that he had some paperwork to do, just for an excuse to ignore Morgan.

"Whoa, Reid, aren't you a little young for that kind of language?" Morgan laughed.

"Do you want another round?" Reid raised his fists in a vaguely kung-fu- like position that he saw in a movie once.

Morgan put down his mug and sighed. He looked into Rieds eyes, now practically radiating sincerity. Reid put his fists down.

"You're not having dreams again?"

"Everyone has dreams, Morgan."

"Nightmares." There was an uncomfortable silence. This was awkward. Reid figeted with his vest. As a profiler- someone who has to get into the minds of some of the most depraved murderers and criminals in the world- he has seen his fair share of horrors. It was a dangerous job and had put his life in danger far too many times.

Yes, he had nightmares sometimes. About the people he couldn't save, about the monsters that he had caught and the ones that he hadn't. But most of the time, he dreamt of what those monsters did. Things that somone would never even consider doing to another human being.

Reid hadn't had one of those in weeks. It was a plesant lull in the chaos that was his life. He could almost pretend that he was normal. . . that is until the incident with the little blue box.

Morgan took his silence as a resounding "yes".

"Well . . .uh, if you ever need to talk, you know that I'm here for you. . ." Yeah, definately awkward. A man shouldn't have to talk to his bro like this. Somewhwere deep inside, Morgan's inner manliness gave a scream as it imploded and formed a black hole.

Reid kept his eyes glued to his half empty mug and grunted incoherently. He didn't want to decieve his friend like this, but he didn't want Morgan to think he was absolutely nuts.

*DING*- Oh great this thing came with annoying sound effects.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: LYING LIKE A DOG! (' 0 ') ...

YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY DECIEVED YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND! IT TAKES A REAL LIAR TO FOOL A SEASONED PROFILER. AND A REAL ASS TO FOOL A FRIEND. BUT YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED. CONGRATULATIONS. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, YOU LYING PIECE OF SHI-

Reid tried not to shriek in horror. As if he didn't feel bad enough. Now a figment of his imagination was berating him. And it was snarky.

The doors to the bullpen opened with a muted whisper.

Hotch, Rossi, Emily and JJ marched through the door together with determined looks on their hardened faces. Seriously, they were cool, at least in Reid's opinion. Reid wondered if he looked like that whenever he was on a case. Much to Ried's relief, Morgan's attention shifted to the four and off of him.

Hotch tossed the file onto the table and yanked out a chair to sit on. Something about the case had obviously riled him up. Rossi, Emily and JJ took their seats. Reid noticed that the other three shared Hotch's poor mood, with the exception of Rossi who seemed slightly more restrained.`

Reid eyed the file on the table and saw that no one else was making a move. He cautiously reached over and slid it closer with his fingertips.

Reid peeked at the content of the casefile. It was filled with photographs.

Red.

He quickly snapped the file shut and slid it over to Morgan. The man opened the file. He didn't react, but lifted a hand to rub his forehead and shook his head slowly. Morgan chuckled, but it sounded more like a growl.

Rossi broke the silence. He enunciated every word with a flat drawl.

"The media are calling him the worst bomber to hit New York City since George Metesky. So far, he has set off two bombs in Twin Hill's Elementary School, yesterday, resulting in the deaths of eight students and the injury of fifteen people."

"Wait, why are we being called out to solve this, shouldn't the NYPD be handling this?", said Morgan.

"This", JJ pulled a slip of paper in an evidence bag from the file and lay it in front of Reid and Morgan

"I AM PROMETHIUS. I WILL BRING FIRE TO THIS CITY OF SCUM.

JUST TRY TO STOP THE WILL OF GOD."

"He mailed a pipe bomb along with this note to The New York Times Building. It was the same kind of bomb as the ones that went off in the elementary school. Thank god it wasn't armed before he sent it. It was more like a warning", said JJ.

"Or a promise of things to come", said Prentiss.

ISN'T THIS JUST EXCITING? GET READY TO FACE PROMETHIUS IN "DROPPIN' BOMBSHELLS"! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, HAVE FUN! \(^_')/ . . .

All of a sudden, everyone in the room was frozen in time. Everything and everyone in the room was washed in grey, as if all the colour was sucked out. The only coloured things in the room were Reid and the little blue panel that he had recoiled from in shock.

"W- what is all this?" Reid trembled.

"What do you want from me!" Reid lashed out and slammed his fists into the panel, hard enough to make it vibrate.

I AM THE TUTORIAL! I AM HERE TO HELP YOU THROUGH THE GAME! (^_^)' . . .

"Huh, game. What do you mean?" There was no answer.

Suddenly a giant blue panel appeared, much bigger than the previous ones.

MENU:

RESUME

CHARACTER STATS

OPTIONS

ACHIEVEMENTS

MISSIONS

HELP

It didn't take a second for Reid to press the "HELP" button. In fact, he pressed it so hard that he was sure he almost broke his finger.

THIS FUNCTION IS NOT CURRENTLY AVAILABLE! (^3^) . . .

'Eeeeh, is it. . . blowing a raspberry at me?' Reid jackhammered his finger on the help button.

'C'mon, help, help, help, help, HELP!'

The same panel appeared again and again. Realising the futility of this, Reid selected the "MISSIONS" button.

YOU HAVE ACCEPTED THE MISSION: "DROPPIN' BOMBSHELLS"

A DASTARDLY VILLAIN IS ON THE LOOSE, WATCH OUT! AS A PROFILER OF THE FBI, IT IS YOUR DUTY TO HUNT DOWN THIS NASTY S.O.B. IF YOU SUCCEED, TREASURE AND BOOTY AWAITS YOU! \(^_')/

. . . HOWEVER, IF YOU FAIL WHAT AWAITS IS A PAINFUL DEATH! (~ 0 ~) . . .

"This is pointless", mumbled Reid. "How the heck do I get back to the menu."

The game seemingly obliged. The mission panel disappeared and the menu blinked into existence.

Reid ignored the "ACHIEVEMENTS" button. No doubt it was more hurtful criticism from the Tutorial.

"Okay, how about- OPTIONS" Reid said it out loud this time, instead of pressing the button. Just as he thought, the "OPTIONS" menu popped up.

DIFFICULTY: ULTRA MEGA SUPER IMPOSSIBLE

TUTORIAL: ON

PARTY SYSTEM: OFF

Reid was beginning to get the hang of this. "Lower the difficulty", he said.

DIFFICULTY IS LOCKED TO ULTRA MEGA SUPER IMPOSSIBLE! SORRY! (^3^) . . .

"I- grrrrr", Reid trailed off into a growl. "FINE! Tutorial, off!"

TUTORIAL CANNOT BE TURNED OFF! (' _ ')~

"WHAT! Why would you even have an options menu if you can't change a thing? Party system, ON!" Reid had no idea what it meant, but it was probably locked, too.

PARTY SYSTEM: ON

"O- okay. Let's go back to the MENU" He felt vaguely relieved that he could change it, even if he didn't know what it did.

The "MENU" panel popped up.

"CHARACTER STATS"

A giant panel appeared, it looked like some kind of table.

SPENCER REID lvl. 9

(You can gain more levels as you complete missions or gain experience)

TITLE: BOY GENIUS

STATS

(Stat points are assigned as you gain levels or experience)

STRENGTH: 1

INTELLIGENCE: 574

CONSTITUTION: 1

ENDURANCE: 5

CHARISMA: 10

WISDOM: 15

SPECIAL ABILITIES

(You have 0 ability points to assign. Complete more missions to gain more ability points. New abilities can also be unlocked through skill books.)

PROFILER: You can catch an UNSUB, tell them that they called their childhood puppy "Shiloh" and why they killed it with a socket wrench. (Does not affect your stats)

REID EFFECT: An affliction that has affected you for your entire life. ( -200 charisma around animals and children)

EIDETIC MEMORY: Lucky you. You remember everything you see or hear and everyone hates you for it. ( doubles intelligence stats)

PERFECT HAIR: The gods have blessed you with amazing hair. Soft, long, and oh so luscious, everyone who meets you wants to run their fingers through it. ( +10 charisma)

In that terrifying moment, Reid knew without a doubt, that he had absolutely and irrevocably gone off the deep end.

A/N: Aaaand that's a rap. I tried to translate Reid's skills into a set of stats. . . I may have exaggerated them for comedic effect. Poor, crazy Reid. Fun fact: "EIDETIC MEMORY" only DOUBLES intelligence stats. That means that the other 287 points are just pure Reid. Any comments/criticism are welcome~ :D

(But please excuse my lame jokes)