Summary: It was dark. One of the worse days of his life, when he finally made his final choice that will seal his fate. Always. ONE-SHOT! Written in the memory of Alan Rickman. RIP.

Genre: Angst/Drama

Rating: Teen

A/N: Hello all and welcome to a small one-shot that I wrote for Alan Rickman's death. It took me a few days to work this one out tho so I didn't get the chance to post it before. This one-shot will be short and somewhat dark. It stays canon of the Harry Potter series 98 percent.

RIP Alan Rickman; you will be missed. A wonderful and talented actor.

I do not and will not own Harry Potter at all.

I just own this plot idea and my own original characters.

The last Harry Potter movie had explored this idea, but I want to explore it more myself. This is completely fanfiction.

Thank you

It was dark.

The room was very dimmed. Only the light of the moon from outside flash through the window, gave the room any light.

He couldn't hear, but he could feel.

He could feel his own heart shattering. He could hear his own thoughts scrambling inside his head.

This was the most horrible day in his entire life. It didn't even match when she had chosen him of all people to spend the rest of her life with. Some part of him tried to blame her. His wonderful and sweet Lily. If only she gave him a chance. If only she would look in his direction for once and saw him. Just him then maybe, just maybe he wouldn't be standing here staring at her dead cold lifeless body, with a screaming infant nearby.

Oh, what had he done?

He promised!
He promised he wouldn't kill her! He promised he would spare her life! Severus Snape crunched his fist tightly into a pair of fist in anguish. He was a fool to half believing his master's lies.

Dumbledore also promised! He had turned sides, through at the last possible second realizing what he had done.

He was conflicted…so conflicted. He didn't want this all to happened.

Then a thought of insanity flashed against his mind. It would only take a flicker of his wand to just end this…this pain…this emptiness…but then that thought disappeared, faded and vanished.

He was and always be a coward.

Severus Snape stared over at the body of the woman he will always love. It had been a few years since he had saw her alive and smiling, even when she haven't forgiven him or spoken to him since that terrible accident back in Hogwarts that made him turn more to the dark arts.

It didn't help much when the infant in the crib continued to screech in a terrifying cry, calling for his mother. The baby, that just turned barely one cried. It send shivers down his spine and he felt pity for the infant even if it's Potter's spawn…He was still Lily's….hers. The babe had watched his mother being killed. Watch the life vanish from her body, wondering and rather confused of what had happened.

This was his entire fault.

He was so damn selfish.

The cries didn't cry down, and he knew soon he had to leave. Someone else will come to investigate, like Black had come earlier. He had stayed out of his sight till he left. Ran off in rage to who know where.

He knelled down on his knees. The palm of his hand brush over her face softly and gently. He couldn't hold back the tears much longer. This was his fault.

He was the reason why she's dead. He should have shut his mouth. He should have think before he had spoken of what he heard about her son, knowing that his lord will not spare anyone in the Potter's household.

Her skin was already turning pale. She was cold as ice, and he just couldn't put back the pieces of his heart or make himself just walk away, just away from this all and drown in his own personal hell of self-pity.

Severus Snape wished that he had listened to her during his Hogwarts years. Maybe, if he would have listened he wouldn't even join them. He would be with her still and she will still radiate with signs of life.

He could hear the hallowing wind outside blending into the baby's cries. He finally, stood up. He hesitating pull his palm away from her cheek. It was just too painful just to touch and look at her.

Guilt…He wanted to end his life right here and there, but something inside of him wouldn't let him do just that. He deserved it. He deserved death.

Dumbledore.

He promised…..He also promised. Severus Snape wasn't a complete fool. He was placed in Slytherin for one reason. He knew that chance of Lily's survival was slim and the moment he uttered his wishes to the Dark Lord, he ran straight to him. The only person that The Dark lord was afraid of. That would stop him easy. Albus Dumbledore.

Severus begged. He begged the old man to keep them safe. To keep her safe and even that bully Potter safe.

Dumbledore gave him his word and in his dark state of mind, he set off looking for the man who could have prevented this from ever happening.

The man who just sat back and let the Potter's die. Let his Lily die. He heard heavily footsteps in the background. The form of Hagrid, the Gate Keeper of Hogwarts came in view. He was the last past that Severus saw before confronting Dumbledore. Unknown to him that this will seal his fate completely, and that in less than twenty years he will give his life for her son and for her. Always. He will always love her.