Chapter 39

I know dark clouds will gather 'round me
I know my way is rough and steep
But golden fields lie just before me
Where the redeemed shall ever sleep

Rey was blinking in the mirror. The mirror blinked back.

"Try to focus. That's it." Rey muttered, still locked with the pair of chocolate eyes. A piece of rock was levitating above two palms. The smaller one resembled a hook, tense and clawing at the stone as if holding it was the only thing that mattered. The larger palm was resting calmly in the air; open as a spread flower petal.

"I'm doing it… I'm doing it!" Sirah squeaked, but the second she finished her sentence, the pebble oscillated in the air, and dropped. "I did it." She nearly teared up. Did Rey see? Was she good at it? Was she rubbish?

"Yes, you did." Rey gave her a sincere smile and patted her on the back. "Well done, you." The little girl was trying so hard to please, that Rey felt closer to reliving her own childhood with each passing day. They had to perform well at all circumstances; both little Rey and little Sirah. If a child broke a window, it meant spanking. But if Rey had broken her spare parts on Jakku, it meant days without portions; and if Sirah had broken the mine cart back in the pits…

Sirah and two other children were sitting on an oak bench opposite their friend, Rey. She would never call herself Master. She refused the titles just as she refused the philosophy. These children would grow up different. These wouldn't even know they're being trained. The Galaxy had enough of the grand prophecies and eternal struggle between the dark side and the light. Rey vowed to teach them right.

"Don't worry, Sirah. You'll get it next time." Said a Togruta girl with red skin and striped montrals typical for her race. She was barely older than the brown haired boy sitting in the middle.

Rey glanced at the pile of stones to their left, and then back at the kids. They had been going at it since noon. Sirah kept chewing the inside of her cheek. The boy was shuffling his feet and the Togruta girl was squeezing a caterpillar. Rey suppressed a laugh and released them from this tedious exercise.

"Off you go, then. We'll play tomorrow. Go, Marca – I think your father wanted to plough the tockberry field today."

Kids didn't have to be told twice. They were already sprinting toward the dirt road before Rey even finished her invitation. They grew up in the open lanes and wide valleys. The wheat farms and vast fields were the best kind of playground for them. The sun was peaking high on the horizon. Her palm shielded her eyes as Rey gazed at it; allowing herself to get lost in one single moment. All she had was a moment. She didn't think about Kylo. She couldn't.

As much as his presence gave her strength, his absence weakened her more. But to erase him completely was unthinkable. So, she designated but a one fleeting moment every single day to think about him, usually when she looked at the blazing sun.

She smiled. Kylo resembled anything in the Galaxy more than sun, with his dark appearance and sullen expression. It was that scorching intensity which he carried around him that Rey found so familiar.

"Good day, Rey, and May the Moon shine on you crops." Gutrah greeted her from behind a picket fence.

"May the Sun raise them from the ground." Rey waved back. Sirah's grandmother took her in, even though Rey wouldn't hear of it. She was always used to living alone and fending for herself.

"I know, child." The old woman's forest green eyes softened. "But you don't have to anymore. What you did for my Sirah…I am forever in your debt. Here on Varada, that means everything."

Rey was teaching the children most of the day, but didn't shy away from the hard labor either. Village women fastened their long skirts and bent their backs to harvest the crops. She did the same to help and repay the kindness of their kindred spirit. She would laugh when the tockeberries stained her ankles deep red. That's why the adults always knew children had been stealing from the baskets.

"I only had one." Sirah wiped her mouth, but she couldn't swipe a wide red circle spreading from her ears to the nose.

"One?" Rey burs tout laughing.

She found three Force sensitive kids in the Tolomei sector and that was enough for now. She didn't want to raise suspicions of the ever watchful eyes of both, the Galactic Concordat or the First Order. At night, she sat on the porch of their hut and gazed at the stars. She still couldn't believe she had seen so much and been on so many of them.

She saw all the green in the Galaxy she could. She saw the sand dunes, more majestic than anything on Jakku; she visited the ancient Sith tombs and modern cities of Denon. Rey took a deep breath of the clean, country air. She even breathed the poison on Geonosis, before the Atharian bounty hunters drove the Resistance away. She had done so much, and yet changed so little.

"We call it ashla. What you're teaching to my little Sirah and those two other rascals." Guthra joined Rey and buffed on her pine pipe. "I know worlds beyond our own sees it as a grand source of power. Here, many folk could use it, once. But the Empire came, seized our land and most people like you with it."

Rey raised her head from peeling the potatoes for dinner. They couldn't afford a droid. "I am sorry." She said.

Gutrah laughed, biting on her wooden pipe as much as her slanted teeth allowed. "What do you have to be sorry for, my dear?"

Rey gulped. Everything. Her own grandfather did this. Her hands started trembling and the peeler dropped on the floor. She often forgot who she was. The granddaughter of a greatest monster in the Galaxy was sitting in a cob hut, peeling potatoes and working the fields. She sniffed.

"I'm doing this for you Rey – you can command them, not as a force of war, but peace."

That's why she couldn't reconcile with Ben's hunger for power. The Emperor had already destroyed it all, and she was too afraid to touch anything. Maybe she could redeem her blood and at least train a few Force sensitive kids.

Yes, that sounded like a good plan, she thought yawning to her linen.

"Night Rey."

"Night Sirah." Rey smiled and snuggled under cover.

All he got was that moment. Ren was trudging up the mountain path. To his left, he had to evade a sharp ravine, but at least he passed something. To his right was nothing, in the most literal sense. Wheat fields and tockberry farms, several sparsely spread huts and a temple to honor some old leader of the nearest town.

"Damn this." He cursed and raked his hair. Half of it was plastered across his damp forehead. He was burning both time and energy in this hole of a planet.

"Good Day and May the Moon shine on your crops." A bedraggled looking farmer passed him. He was riding a ridgecrawler, huge, rusty metal fortress these peasants used to work the fields.

"May the Moon shine. "Small boy tipped his cap. "May it shine." Woman with the skin brown as leather smiled at him, clutching the waist of her husband. Kylo stepped aside, flashing the most sincere smile he could muster. Nailed it.

The little boy hid his head under mother's arm. Kylo scowled. Not a response he expected. He dared to continue only when they were but a russet dot on the horizon. He had enough cultural adventures with the locals for a lifetime. He kept going, but the machine clawed deep ruts into the soil.

"Unbelievable," he hissed and discarded the outer robes. He was wearing a sleeveless dark brown tunic and black pants tucked in the knee high boots. His wide leather belt contained a navicomputer disc, a decanter and … nothing else. He could pass for a peasant upon the first glance. Actually – he couldn't. He was too pale to be working the fields ten hours a day.

He stomped instead of walked, and that would damage the crops. The farmer's step was a caress of the soil, of the very same motherland which fed them and kept them alive. Kylo's arms tinged pink after an hour of this insane drudgery. He could see Rey blend among these people. She had the right skin tone, the right charming smile and sincere heart. She was willing to help at a bell's ring, in a child-like awe of things he wouldn't touch. Or poked.

His fingers were glued to his wet mop of a hair, and his vocabulary unbecoming of a man of Varada. The valley folk respected tradition and worshipped the Moon orbiting this rocky planet. Only the valleys provided for the families, just like the one Kylo descended into.

"Of all the planets in the Galaxy..." He kicked a stone. The vale used to be a river thousand years ago. Of course, she couldn't have chosen an ice planet; or at least a decent city where he would dock a shuttle and swagger out towards her all tall and impressive. He was out of his element in this provincial basket of the outer rim. He kept huffing and crossing short fences and country roads, all while praying not to meet another wholesome farmer who would ask too many questions.

"So nice, so freaking nosy." He talked to himself, as he deflected another hit of cloying willingness to show him the way. A merchant with pot belly just laughed and wished him the same, as other before. "May the Moon shine on your crops."

"Huh. Yours too." Not that you need it, with that paunch. His vague attempt at a crooked smile made the farmer scurry away, holding his face in a suspicious frown. Ren sighed. He was never going to fit in here. No tattered garb or false smile masked that air of superiority. The dark side was ever pervasive. Not only Force Users felt its power. Even these small people divined a thread rooted in hate and passion when he walked by them.

Finally, his legs carried him to a dirt road with the two wooden signs. Kylo took the one leading left, just like that slave girl had done before, to a village called Zadaran. He might have misread it, because rot had eaten several letters away. As he was getting closer, he deliberately slowed down, conscious of his appearance. This wasn't a reunion he had envisioned. You look like a peasant. He stopped pondering why all those walkers offered help to this charity case of a young man. His face was red and the scars evoked an image of a swashbuckling rogue, putting off these peace loving farmers. His hair looked like shit and his skin colored as a prune, but not the nice juicy one. He looked like an old shriveled prune, only worse.

"What now?" He sighed, as warm breeze carried a melody to him. He poised himself to receive some kind of odd folk blessing. Who knew how these incense sniffers welcomed strangers here? Women were harvesting the fields and singing so their work passed faster. Kylo's quest for riches had come to an end.

He spotted her.

He immediately arrested any kind of movement, and stood at the fringes of the field. He stared her up and down hungrily. He reprimanded himself not to gape like a fish, but he simply couldn't help it. She was wearing the same loose skirt and cropped top as other women, but none compared to her.

She was white and beige in the sea of red. The tockberry juices were staining her ankles, and suddenly he remembered how he kissed her there. Her tan changed the taut muscles of her abdomen into a valley curving up to her breasts and neck. She knotted up her white linen skirt at a hip; that voluptuous crossroad which led him two ways, both ending in immense pleasure.

She was singing alongside the women, bending her willowy back and wiping a trickle of sweat from her forehead. She was making up the words because she didn't understand the dialect, but the melody of her voice carried all the emotion.

Rey planked her back and shielded her eyes. "Is that Inael?" She muttered to herself. Droid mechanic's son often delivered a modest lunch as he passed from Tolomei to Zadaran. He was a tall and black haired lad with a persistent smile on his face.

Rey froze.

This man's wasn't smiling. This man's eyes were seeing a lot, but watching only her. He didn't know what to do with his hands, too large for a ridgecrawler, but befit to hold a lightsaber. Rey recognized him from the distance only when he started walking towards her. She watched him leave too many times, so now, coming towards her, she couldn't help but stare. Then, she mentally slapped herself and threw the basket of tockberries on the ground. Such a waste. She felt immediate surge of guilt, but this was worth it.

Kylo had been imagining all kinds of welcome, except the one he got. Rey was stomping towards him like a falling asteroid, and he knew that impact would scorch the ground. He stopped and waited, sporting a clandestine smile at her bent elbows and vigorous walk.

She shoved him.

Then again and again. "What, isn't this how you pictured us, huh? You came back and suddenly I'm supposed to throw myself at you and forgive everything?" She was still charging at now backpedaling Kylo."Is that what you were expecting?"

"Not from you. Maybe If I was walking to her," he pointed at a comely young farm girl.

Rey's mouth dropped. "How…even… I don't…" The gall he had.

She pushed him again but he grabbed her by the elbows. "If you want, we can settle this in a proper lightsaber duel. Isn't this a little beneath us?"

Rey blinked. Lightsaber. She looked him up and down, but he didn't have it on him. Actually, she really gave him a proper once over. Either he had been hiking for a decade, or just scrabbled out of Sarlacc pit. The sleeveless tunic, the sweat and sun burn overshadowed his usually menacing veneer. Rey unhinged her elbows from his grasp and stepped back.

Is she going to be sick? He bit his lower lip as he watched her bent over and heave to the ground. But then she darted up and burst out laughing. She was clutching her sides and wiping tears. Ren coughed. Farmers might not have understood, but they sure as hell looked entertained. At his expense.

"You… you." She snorted like a child, gasping for breath."You came back from that new galaxy already? Must be such a… great… place." He went there as a destroyer of worlds, and returned as a peasant.

"I never left." He said quietly. Rey's smile died in an instant. "I never left Malastare. I was going to. I boarded the carrier and we set the course, but I couldn't leave."

They were now facing each other in the middle of a field while sun rays beamed above their crowns. Her hair darkened into deep shade of auburn, her eyes melted like caramel, burying those specks of green. Kylo bent down – he couldn't find them, for the first time since he noticed them under their waterfall.

"Was it hard?" He asked. "Taking Skywalker to my mother."

"Yes." She said. Time for joking was over.

"I should have gone with you. I am sorry." He left her alone, once again when she needed him the most.

"I could have expected it from him." Rey tilted her head towards Ilean, the lunch boy who just dismounted his speeder. "Not from you. I was perfectly fine doing it on my own. Thank you very much."

His dark eyes remembered. "I have no excuse. No words. I just… "

Rey averted her head. She had other things to worry about. Sirah would be coming home for lunch soon, and their lessons today hadn't even started yet. She had to help Gutrah chop the firewood and continue working on assembling that droid they so desperately needed. Once again, he came to her and screwed everything up.

"I can't do this anymore, Ben. I found peace here. I can't die inside every time you decide to leave me for your mad quest. I just can't." Breath couldn't pass a lump in her throat.

He enveloped her hands in his. They were calloused, not soft as he remembered. "You could do this beyond the reaches. You could be a farmer, if you want. I don't care. Hell, I can give you an entire planet just so you could plant these…" he scowled at the suspicious looking crop.

"Tockeberries." Rey huffed. "And that's not the point. Can we go there together? Can we live in peace and not care about the galaxy? See, I don't want you to get me a planet."

"But why?"

"Because I don't want you to have the power to give it to me in the first place." She yanked her hand form his. "This," she circled the field with her arms," will never be enough for you. But it is for me. I didn't want to get caught in it all. I wanted to leave Jakku and find my family, not become a Jedi, then Sith, then murderer, and then your…"

She bit her tongue. No, she didn't regret the last bit.

Ren could stand there and take her reproach until the full moon waned into a slim crescent. He didn't care. She spoke the truth and it was about time they acknowledged it. But he wouldn't let her go. Not this time, not after Korriban, not after she saved his life and killed Luke.

"You chose me. Now, let me choose you." He whispered. He didn't care it made him look pathetic, either. Once he dropped the façade, he felt free. He could finally wake up and take a deep breath and not give a damn.

Naturally, he had a back up plan he wouldn't spill to her just yet.

"I'm giving you the command of the Finalizer. "

"You can't mean this. After all you've done – all you've fought. This is your chance to be free of the Order and Snoke. You fought to get that power and now, you're leaving me to lead the expedition to the wild space?" Bridger's incredulous stare reflected the insanity of this plan.

"I trust you. You are my second in command. I will cross after you. If my estimate is correct, it shouldn't take more than a few weeks. I will get there. I expect a provisionary colony to be fully operational, once we cross after you."

"We?" Bridger's eyebrow shot up. "Interesting. I see. Well, I can't promise you to succeed, but I can try. I still bet you all the credits the Order owes me she won't come with you. I think you're making a mistake and you'll regret it. But – it's on you." Both men shook hands.

Rey wondered, as she did many times before. Could this finally be it? If she refused him, would she kill their last chance? Because this would be the last she was willing to give him.

His answer lied in that one look, in that slight parting of her rosy lips. He lifted her in his arms and tasted them. He was spinning Rey around, holding her body with one arm and caressing her cheek with the other. She was weightless, she was his and he could have carried her to the moon if he had to. She was laughing, more at him than to herself, so he kissed her again and again in the fields under the shining sun.

They made love that night, in their new small hut. Their bodies bore the stains of the day, but they didn't bother to wash. He slid the linen off her shoulders, nearly dying as the fabric got caught on her erect nipples. She ripped his tunic apart, and he started kissing her. The scent of their desire mingled together with their breath. He angled her jaw and kissed her neck, her chest, kneading her breasts and then placed his hands on her sides. Kylo knelt before her as if she were a shrine to be worshipped. For him, she was. She threw her head back as his tongue caressed the skin of her stomach, going lower and lower.

He skimmed the knots, pushed her skirt down and ravaged her only with his hot breath and kisses; until he got to that scar. He stopped. It was pink and narrow, but it was there. Rey buried her hand in his hair and craned his head.

Kylo immediately drew himself to his full height. "Fuck. I'm so sorry. I didn't think. I'm sorry." He instinctively backtracked, leaving her alone and exposed. He still wore pants and at that moment, he felt as if he ruined it all again.

"It's all right." Rey laid her palms on his chest muscles. She didn't want to be away from him. She didn't need space or apologies. She knew what they had become to one another and nothing erased their past. She needed him, now. He took her hand and led her to bed. Their bodies connected in a harmony unknown to them.

They didn't have to cool a frenzied fever, or worry about Resistance or the Order. He was kissing her, while he moved inside her in languid pace, all while her lips never left his. She wrapped her ankles around him, because even that little bit of distance meant the world.

"I love you." He whispered and she said it back. It meant everything, when one didn't have to say it to convince the other; and both could finally trust it.

"We can make this work." Rey bit her lip as they reorganized their new abode. She was watching him wrestle with a shelf. A shelf. She thought she'd never see the day. Some days she woke up in a fairytale. Others, she doubted everything.

They were learning things about the other which they never knew before. Kylo learnt she was terrified of storms, ever since that night on Korriban. He held her close every time her heart almost gave up at the flash of lightning. When alone, she used to crawl into a bathtub till the worst passed and she could open her eyes again. But he didn't let her go through it anymore. He sat behind her, crossed her torso with his arms and pulled her into him, cradling her and whispering nonsense, till she fell asleep. Even then, he would stay there because the tub was uncomfortable. He'd rather have his back sore, than hers.

Rey almost sliced his arm one night when he surged out of bed, screaming like an animal. She automatically reached for her lightsaber, and before her comatose self realized what she was doing, lit it up.

Luckily, she missed.

She had learnt he suffered from the phantom pain ever since he brought down Snoke on Rakata. He would wake up and claw on walls and sheets, blind and deaf to her pleas. So, she held him in return, until he calmed down. He never thanked her, even as he regained consciousness. He lied on her bare chest, and she was raking her fingers through his thick hair. But in the morning, she found him staring at her and in those eyes, she saw more than gratitude, more than love.

He learned to think before he asserted his will everywhere, as he was used to. He kept painting over some hideous scratches on their porch wall, again and again, getting mad at those insufferable kids for marking their home.

"It's not the kids." Rey lowered her eyes. She didn't know how to explain. "Each scratch is for a new day. I used to do that on Jakku." She squirmed.

"Really?" He blinked. "Why? What this means?" He leaned and studied one bigger than others.

"That's the day you came back."

He never touched that cursed paint again. He kept apologizing and she brushed it off with that wide, sincere smile. Yet, he felt like the greatest asshole of them all. She still needed a tangible proof he was here, with her. She marked that wall as if counting the days he would ditch her. You did just that, twice, you oaf. No, he would never.

She was still teaching her three younglings and he struggled to kill time. He would never sully himself in the soil, she knew that. So, he started mucking around that droid she had meant to assemble. He skulked around the district and scoured ever nearby village to salvage the spare parts, and in three weeks, he really did it.

"Behold, BeeBee Ten." Rey was clapping and laughing.

Ren huffed. "I am not naming our droid after that damn ball."

Then, when he was done with this little project, he took upon an offer of that paunchy merchant to ship his cargo to the nearby outer rim worlds.

He became Ben and she remained Rey.

Sometimes, she felt as if she couldn't breathe when she thought about him. She didn't need food, or sleep, as long as he was sitting at their table, poking in an ionizer and biting those full lips.

He would always bring her a present from his trips, just a trinket, really . When he gave her a small engraved spoon, he lowered that galaxy he had been offering to her feet. They couldn't be apart from dusk till dawn. The sun rose and set, but that meant nothing for them. One day was not such a long time, and still, they wouldn't go through it without seeing each other.

She would return from the fields at the verge of the day, and he would be waiting for her at the fork of the road to walk her home. Their home. Lovers found it hard to curb their addiction, so he took her behind the shed, right where the villagers were leaving the temple of the Moon.

"I need you. I can't wait." He whispered and kissed her. Her back was slamming the wooden wall of a shed as he lifted her skirt and thrust into her. He had to kiss her to quieten her moans. Nothing aroused her more than his animalistic need for her; so constant and fresh at the same time. She was writhing in ecstasy, biting his neck until she tasted blood and he carried her to the climax, all while supporting the weight of them both. She would always associate the smell of starblossoms and humming of crickets with those wild, summer nights.

They stopped only after mortified Rey nearly died, when she saw Gutrah carving a crib from a log of wood."You gonna need it at this rate. He's like a bull, that man of yours." She cackled, her wise eyes telling Rey that she too was young, once. She handed her a bouquet of crimson wild flowers fastened with a yarn string. "Take these starblossoms. The Moon in our world colors them white when a woman finds herself blessed. You will see. I'm surprised you're not with child, yet."

Rey sobered up. No, she wasn't. She and Ben had been living on Varada for three months, and he gave her plenty of opportunity to get pregnant. Yet, she didn't. Perhaps that fall stole their chance forever. She kept those red flowers in the vase on the table. They withered and died, but never turned white.

She sighed one night, as sleeping Ben tossed his arm around her and tugged her closer. Asleep or awake, they lived skin to skin. Kids didn't matter. Well, they did, but Rey found a silver lining. She had children already - she would become a surrogate mother to all those Force sensitive orphans in her care. She hated to be Master Rey; but she could imagine being Mom Rey. She let out a silent sob into the pillow, as she held onto that strong arm.

"I can read your thoughts." He gently whispered into her ear. Rey turned. She forgot they even shared a Force bond– the entire Force thing paled in comparison how fulfilling their love felt.

"I'm sorry." She said, wiping her nose embarrassed. She didn't cry pretty; her face was blotched and her nose runny; it was a disgusting sight. But he never saw any of that.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He kissed her wet nose and she laughed through the tears. He bore that guilt for both of them. The entire three months, they managed to avoid the elephant in the room. They didn't talk about the dark side, the Force, Snoke or the First Order. They didn't have to because he was Ben and she was Rey. But now, it came to haunt them as a painful memento.

Weeks turned to months and months passed quicker than any of them expected. The hut changed to house; a house changed into small villa and the villa grew in size with lush vegetable gardens.

But the shadow reached even the brightest of corners. Rey had been observing for some time. He was restless. What once filled his time was now but an unwanted distraction. He still flew the ships with merchant cargo; he still dabbled in droid construction. Many villagers came to him to have their units fixed, or built anew.

But he was restless.

He would gaze at the night sky as the praying valley folk beheld their Moon in the temple. His hands fell at is sides, but he would rub them together. Something was missing. The blood never washed away; only faded. He hadn't wielded a lightsaber in almost a year. He had no notion of events beyond this inconsequential planet; let alone the news of another galaxy.

Shadows crept into his mind, shadow and doubt. He pictured Bridger at his rightful place. Was the crew dead and floating frozen in space? Did the carriers made it and now, they ruled the nations? He needed answers. He was supposed to bring Rey back after few weeks, not succumb to this simple life. No one would usurp his place as a ruler of the Galaxy.

"I am grander than you, grandfather." He pulled out an object he was most ashamed of. That distorted helmed travelled with him, no matter where. It accompanied him in darkness and he would see it in light. "I have what you wanted. I have this life you couldn't with Padmé. And I will have that power, too."

He would. He fought harder than Vader ever had to. He sacrificed so much; he even killed his own kin, a deed Vader never managed to carry out. Technically, Rey killed him, but only to spare Ben's life.

Rey was watching these changes occur in him in the span of months, holding back. Maybe if she gave him enough space, he would come to his senses. No one was infallible, and she couldn't expect such a troubled man not being tempted. But as the weeks went by; his demeanor changed. He was lost in his own mind, scheming grand plans. He started buying engine parts; too large and absolutely unnecessary to rebuilt a simple village droid. He saved credits and frequently visited the towns around the edge of Tolomei. He was preparing to get off. Rey knew it and her heart was breaking. The only unanswered question remained – who would bring up the news first? She bit the bullet and did it one evening.

"When are you going to tell me the truth?" She set aside her fork and forced him to pay attention. "Are you planning on informing me before, or after I wake up strapped in your ship as once before?"

His gaze darkened. "That was a low blow. You know I would never hurt you again." She could be angry, but the very suggestion he would have harmed her made his blood boil. "I was going to tell you once I was sure that the deal would go through."

"What deal?" She asked.

"I bought a ship. It's not new, but the hyperdrive engines are. We don't need a pretty wrapper, only the power to cross. We will have that. I'm picking it up next week from Xandor."

"And you're telling me this." She grimaced. "Just like that, casually at dinner and even then it's me who has to ask first."

"I was going to suggest it." He shoved the plate away and walked towards her. He knelt and looked her in the eyes. "Just think about it. My word still stands. I sent Bridger there first, and if he's half as competent as I give him credit for, I think he should have something settled by now. We have my new knights – the warriors of peace, not war."

He stayed calm, but his veins were undulating so viciously even she could sense it. She would have loved to argue about the loyalty of knights and that man, Bridger. But she couldn't. She knew of Force bonds, and some deals were unbreakable. The stormtroopers swore by blood an oath to the dark knight of the galaxy. If they had betrayed Kylo, he would have felt it in the Force. No, he didn't feel anything. Their power lay dormant beyond the veil of their known world, tempting Ren to command it.

"Rey –"He gently turned her head with his finger." What about Snoke? What about that thing that set this all in motion? Don't you want to find out more? He came from beyond."

"Now, this is a low blow from you." She stood up.

She rarely thought of those terrible past events, but if she did, her mind always wandered to that one encounter on the Star Destroyer. She felt helpless and yet so determined to find out more about him. No holorecord ever mentioned his name. She couldn't feel him in the Force, she never once dreamed about him or shared a vision.

And it wasn't for the lack of trying. Just as Kylo nursed his dirty secret shaped as a Vader's helmet, she was hiding hers. She meditated and prayed to that spirit. "Where are you?" She was kneeling at the crossroad, next to the well as the warm summer night fell on the village. "Show yourself to me. I can't feel you. You're the opposite side of me, remember," she whispered with hooded eyes. "I keep balance and you tempt. I can't see you."

He never came.

Perhaps his cunning betrayed her intent to learn more and defeat him for good. She couldn't shake a feeling of uncertainty when it came to that entity. What if another prophecy was destined to pass? Rey didn't want to make the same mistake the Skywalkers had been making for generations.

Each new in line passed the torch to their successor; but they should have cleaned their own mess first. The spirit didn't have to manifest for decades, even centuries. But the lurking evil would emerge one day, to torment the Galaxy again. If she could at least leave the record of her encounter to those who might seek it, she would have left this world content.

Rey was standing in front of the fireplace, hugging her torso. "This isn't happening because you want it so. I will go. But not for you. I'm doing it for the good of us all." She said, throwing her shoulder back.

Ben wrapped his arms around her from behind, and she leaned on his chest. "I know. I swear, Rey – this will be different. I'm not going to destroy. I want to build and create and leave that all to our…"

She let out a small sob without tears. "To whom, Ben? We don't have any children and I doubt we will. It's for the best. The Force probably decided to put an end to our lines and balance the Galaxy for good. Well, not for you – you can still have children with anot-"

He spun her around harshly. "Look at me." He pleaded. "Look at me and tell me why would I spend a year of my life buried in a hamlet with simpletons who believe that the moon is a god, if I didn't want to be with you?" She brushed the hair from his face, but that didn't appease him. "Tell me – why would I choose not to continue my legacy if not for you? You're not the only one who wants to train new Force Users, Rey. I'm the last Sith and with me, thousand years old civilization dies. But I have been living as a carpenter and a pilot here, on Varada for you."

He was clutching her waist and shaking her with every word. He needed her to feel that passion, if she didn't believe his words. "I chose you just as you chose me. I'm never going to leave you. If you want to make it hard for me, fine. I'll wait here for another month, or year, or ten. I'll make more domestic droids, I'll be flying Kessel run until I know every damn star by its name. But it's our potential you are wasting here, not some insane plane of mine to destroy a galaxy. So, if you still thi-" Rey slammed into his lips, just to make him shut up.

Their teeth chattered together as she cut him off mid speech, but he quickly opened his mouth and let her in. He lifted her on a table while never breaking the kiss. Her ankles pushed his back closer to her, and she grinded against him, all while tearing his shirt, his pants, every piece of clothing that was keeping them apart. He tore her blouse and immediately latched onto her nipples, licking and stroking those hard buds with his tongue. He held back because he couldn't possibly believe they would fuck right there, on the table. The year in relative poverty gave him a new appreciation for the china. It was Rey who wiped the table clean, and amid the sound of clinking and shattering porcelain, brought him down on her.

"I love you." She spat. "But I hate your damn mouth."

"I know." He plunged into her without any foreplay or any kind of gentle teasing they were so used to. He would never tell her he hated something about her, not even as a joke. The skirt was still hiding her modesty, and it turned him on more than seeing her naked.

Only a string of incoherent vowels left his mouth, as he lost himself in her. She dug her ankles into his back and prodded him down, further, harder, eager to have his bulk of a body smothering her. He held onto that skirt, twirling it around his wrist, using it as leash which helped him tame her. Her breasts were bouncing to the rhythm of his pounding, and he still couldn't believe she was under him, and willing to give him so much more.

"You want me to come? Make me, then." She was barely panting, her breath refused to leave her body, but she still spoke in puns. He crashed his lips into hers while she was digging her nails into his back.

They came together, drenched in sweat, blood and spilled wine, all while he was lying on top of her on that damn table. Ben smiled and pulled white, withered flower and a lettuce leaf out of her disheveled hair, kissing her hand as she contoured his cheek. Rey finally agreed to go of her own will, not because he asked her to. She watched him build during that year together, not destroy. For all those times he tried to convince her with his words, the one time he didn't sealed the deal. He convinced her with his actions.

And Ben spent that year with villagers who had never heard of the Force, let alone challenged him in it. But he chose that life, because his place was where she laid her head to sleep, nowhere else. That kind of trust couldn't be broken.

They made a choice, the most important step for the entire galaxy.

The Force demanded balance. Together, they stepped back, but perhaps the time had come for them to step ahead, into the unknown. Rey knew he would never give up power, and she no longer wanted him to. She wasn't some artificial ray of light, and he wasn't a monster in the dark. They were equals, lovers, fighters; a pale boy and a feisty girl who loved each other through it all.

THE END

A/N I TOLD you to trust me. xD That's it folks. Hopefully, it was all worth it. This was so damn emotional to write. I think this last chapter is the purest representation of what they had gone through in Aphelion, and what they had become, not only as a couple but as individuals. I chose each word like a gospel in this last one. I can't thank you enough for supporting me and commenting. I would have never gotten through certain passages if it hadn't been for your constant reviews. Even a few words can arm a writer with such passion to continue. I also want to sincerely thank you for the positive experience I got from writing my first SW fanfiction, all your words have been so nice and encouraging. I'll miss my gang of the most amazing people, you all know who you are. I poured my soul into this, and I'm happy to share it with you all. I don't know if I'll write an epilogue, or a sequel. It kinda feels right to leave them here, on the verge of the unknown, doesn't it? Feel free to share an opinion on this. P.S. If you didn't catch it by chance - white flower guys. It turned white so… they really have it all, even though they don't know it yet.