=== A.N. ===

This is Tobi's diary it's a mix between a sweet and "innocent" Tobi and a mean and rude Obito. It's supposed to be funny and made for the entertainment of whoever reads this, I'm open to suggestions for future chapters.

Disclaimer: The characters in this story don't belong to me but the story itself does .The characters in this story belong to the creator of Naruto.

I still haven't decided who Tobi/Obito is going to be paired with this story will be boy x boy.

Don't like don't read. (But this chapter is mostly just comedy)

Rated M for language and because I will add lemon in future chapters.

Anyway, that's enough formalities ENJOY! *Waves*

It was Christmas and all the Akatsuki were united in the living room of the base. They were getting ready to open up all the presents under their Christmas tree.

Everyone had already opened their presents, well everyone except Tobi. They all headed to their rooms to enjoy what they had received. Seeing that everyone had left Tobi decided to go to his room and make use of what he had received. He started by writing in the new diary he had just gotten.

ENTRY #1:

Dear diary,

Today it was Tobi's first Christmas after joining the Akatsuki and he got a nice present from everyone. First Tobi got a present from Kisame-senpai, it was a blue diary. It had little drawings of sharks in the cover and on the back. That's what Tobi is writing in right now.

After senpai's gift it was Konan's turn, she got Tobi a brand new black nail polish and Tobi was very happy! (Tobi's old one was running out but now he doesn't have to worry about it)Oh! And it got better, she gave Tobi a hug and some candy!

Tobi also got special brownies from Hidan. Since Tobi likes brownies Tobi ate them. Tobi felt funny afterwards and Tobi also noticed they tasted funny like vegetables but different but Tobi didn't mind because they were still chocolate brownies so Tobi went ahead and continued eating them until they were all gone. Tobi was happier than usual afterwards, so that was good (they must have been actually really special since they made Tobi super-duper happy. Plus now he could see cute little animals running around and little shapes he couldn't before).

After Hidan's brownies Kakuzu gave Tobi a thank you card for being a good boy and Tobi was really happy because he tried really hard being a good boy and he appreciated being recognized. (It's really hard for Tobi to stop himself from killing all the idiots around base especially that moronic blond bimbo Deidara)

Anyway even though Tobi would have liked candy or something else it was still a good present. Especially coming from Kakuzu because he put thought into it (because he's usually a stingy bitch it's probably the best thing he could come up with so he wouldn't have to spend that much money) and that's what matters.

After Tobi read Kakuzu's thank you card Tobi got a bag of fertilizer from Zetsu (the plant freak probably thought that that was the best thing he could have given out because he was using his tiny ass pea brain to think about what the "others" would want, and in case you didn't catch the sarcasm he was thinking about what he would like and thought that since he liked it the others would too. I don't know if he's smart or retarded because like, sometimes he can come up with good strategies but then he falls for dumb things too….. I think he might be retarded but he doesn't know it….. Yup that's probably it)

It wasn't the best present ever but it's the thought that counted. It's ok since Tobi has plans for it. (Mostly using it for ruining the others meals and stuff like that)*evil laugh*

When it was Deidara's turn to give something to Tobi, he gave him a pretty Tobi made out of painted clay and Tobi really liked it... until it exploded.

(Maybe Tobi could put those fertilizer bags to some good use and get Deidara back for what he did to Tobi).

When that happened, Tobi pretended to cry and Konan got angry at Deidara and smacked him and that made Tobi very happy but Tobi pretended to still be sad (maybe she would continue until Tobi was happy….. on the outside *creepy laugh*).

Sasori gave Tobi some potions and poisons so that Tobi could have fun and Tobi got really happy and almost, almost forgot what Deidara did to Tobi but in reality it only made Tobi remember more and made Tobi think of all the things Tobi could do to Deidara. (Tobi was going to make Deidara pay. That stupid flat Barbie was going down *evil laugh*). Tobi thought Sasori's gift was ok, it wasn't something he could wear but it was something useful so Tobi was glad. (At least it wasn't those puppets that somehow managed to creep the shit out of Tobi so that was an upside)

The next gift Tobi received was from Pein it was a cooking book so Tobi could make all the things he wanted to eat instead of bothering Konan.

(Maybe it was the boss discretely telling me to fuck off and start doing shit for myself… \[-3-]/ )

Tobi was happy because he liked Konan but her cooking wasn't the best.

(When she tried to do complicated dishes or sweet things it sucked and everyone ran and hid so they wouldn't be forced to eat that shit).

So yeah this gift was a good one but it was slightly insulting to Tobi's ego but Tobi still likes it.

The last gift Tobi received was from Itachi. He gave Tobi a book.

It was on the history of masks (seriously just because I wear this mask doesn't mean I'm into them and care, it just something I use to cover up my face. He's such a dipshit [-3-]) which Tobi was really not interested in (sometimes Itachi is really fucking annoying. Not everyone likes the same shit he likes….) but Tobi still thanked him because Tobi is a good boy and good boys are polite. Besides, Tobi could do many things in that book! He could draw on the pages and make origami with it, or when someone made Tobi mad Tobi could throw it since it was a big and heavy book. Ok, so in reality Itachi actually gave Tobi a good present.

That was it.

Bye diary, Tobi loves you!

P.S.: Remember to stay away from Hidan because you may turn out retarded too (because as everyone knows, that shit is contagious…)

The day after Christmas was one of Tobi's favorite days of the year. Since most of the Akatsuki members had a hangover - from the night before - it was really easy for Tobi to do pranks. He would usually sneak into their rooms and take some things - this was incredibly easy because they always slept in - and sometimes he would draw on their faces with sharpies while they slept or wake them up by pouring a bucket of cold water over their faces. Sometimes Tobi wasn't a good boy.

Dear diary,

Right now Tobi is hiding from Hidan in his closet. Tobi was being a bad boy so he took a sharpie, and since Hidan left his door open, Tobi went inside and drew smiley faces, hearts, and butterflies and wrote "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" on Hidan's side of his face and "LOSER" across his forehead, in addition to drawing a unibrow and a mustache and beard. *laughs*. Ok, it was Tobi's fault but Tobi is still the victim here! Because Hidan was asking for it by oversleeping, plus he shouldn't harm Tobi because as everyone knows he doesn't get how hurt Tobi can actually get because Hidan is immortal!

2HOURS LATER

YAY! Diary Tobi is still alive! Kisame-senpai is so nice to Tobi. He saved Tobi's life today while Tobi was running for an hour and a half trying to hide from Hidan.

Tobi bumped into Kisame-senpai and Tobi explained to him what was going on and Kisame-senpai protected Tobi from Hidan.

Afterwards he gave Tobi a long lecture but Tobi didn't listen; Tobi was thinking about how cute and nice Kisame-senpai was to Tobi while staring, so when Kisame-senpai's lips stopped moving and he stared back at Tobi, Tobi said a short but polite "thank you" and added a "Tobi is a good boy!" hoping it would fit with what Kisame-senpai had said. It looked like it worked because Kisame-senpai looked happy and walked away from Tobi without any further comments.

This is kind of what happened:

(Flashback)

(Tobi was finishing drawing Hidan's beard with a sharpie while giggling when Hidan suddenly woke up from feeling his face was wet and hearing squeaky giggles)

"What the fuck are you doing Tobi?!" Hidan rose quickly and gripped Tobi's wrist. He was pissed, plus he had a hangover so when he woke up he wasn't happy.

"Um… Tobi thinks Hidan is ugly so Tobi decided to give him a makeover… "Tobi was nervous but that didn't stop him from mocking Hidan.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Hidan was incredibly angry so he jumped on Tobi while grabbing his scythe and putting it dangerously close against Tobi's neck.

"AH! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" and that was the last thing Tobi said (or rather screamed) before kicking Hidan off him and running out of the room.

"OI YOU LITTLE FUCKER GET BACK HERE!" Screamed Hidan while standing up and picking up his scythe and running after Tobi. (For being hangover he was surprisingly agile but that might have been because he was furious…)

Tobi ran through the maze, that was the Akatsuki, base until he found Deidara and Sasori's shared room and went inside, without knocking since it wasn't locked, and headed to the closet where he hid for about 15 minutes until Hidan found him and almost chopped his head off.

After escaping Hidan he ran until he got to the base's kitchen and hid in a cabinet for about half an hour until, once again, Hidan found him and started screaming obscenities and trying to slice at him while chasing him.

While Tobi was running through a hallway he spotted Itachi's and Kisame-senpai's room, although this time as he was running he bumped into Kisame - the man was walking out of his room to go do some training outside the base. Running into Kisame made Tobi really happy because maybe now someone would help him.

"What's going on?" asked Kisame; it wasn't unusual to see the Akatsuki fighting but he was a friendly guy who liked helping so he couldn't help but to ask.

"Help me Kisame-senpai! Hidan is trying to kill Tobi! Please don't let Hidan kill Tobi! "After saying that Tobi started making sobbing sounds to let Kisame know he was crying, since the man couldn't see his tears due the mask concealing his face.

"YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! COME BACK HERE AND GET WHAT YOU DESERVE FOR WHAT YOU DID YOU HEATHEN!" Hidan was pissed and wanted to make Tobi pay for what he had done to him.

At the sight of Hidan's sharpie colored face Kisame fell on the floor laughing his ass off.

"What…. Happened….. To your…. Face?!" tried to ask Kisame in-between laughter. Hidan looked ridiculous with the way the sharpie was all over his face. It was really hard not to laugh at the way Hidan's face was contorted into a scowl.

"Good morning to you too fish face." Answered Hidan unimpressed, "The fucking masked freak thought it was a fucking good idea to draw stupid shit on my face." Hidan was royally pissed and wanted the shark man to move out of his way so he could end the masked idiot.

"Please Kisame-senpai, don't let the scary man hurt Tobi!" plead the masked "boy". He knew the Kisame would protect him and he'd only get a slap on the wrist. He just wanted to get this incident - that had gotten way out of hand - over with so he could move on to doing pranks to the other Akatsuki members.

"Hidan don't you think you are over reacting? He was just doing dumb things. Couldn't you have just let it go and instead of coming after him just had gone to the restroom and wash the sharpie off your face?" the shark man just wanted everyone to get along, besides, he wanted them to stop fighting so he could head out to train without having to worry about them destroying the base or Tobi getting murdered.

"No! Don't you think you are under-reacting? He always gets what he wants because he acts like he's stupid even though he is a member of a dangerous organization!" Hidan was enraged; he wasn't going to let this go and he definitely didn't think he was over reacting because everything he had just said was true.

"Kisame-senpai please, I'm sorry can you please make the scary man go away?" Tobi was trying to use his 'cuteness' to see if Kisame would get rid of Hidan for him.

"Hidan just drop it and go wash your face, I'll have a discussion with Tobi." Kisame was done with this argument, he really wanted to leave already and go do his training.

Tobi was happy Kisame was on his side and glad that he was trying to get rid of the albino as well.

"Fuck it. I'm outta here, I'm going to wash my face and eat breakfast because I'm hungry and already wasted precious time of my life chasing this dipshit anyways." With that said Hidan left leaving the two Akatsuki members behind. Tobi and Kisame were now alone in the middle of the hallway.

"Thank you Kisame-senpai I'll leave you to go to your training!" After Tobi said that he tried to "discretely" get out of there hoping Kisame had forgotten about the discussion he was going to have with him.

"Not so fast Tobi, I was still going to have a discussion with you, remember?" Kisame wanted to talk to Tobi. 'Shit maybe he won't get pissed at me if I say I was sorry and apologize, right? Meh it can't hurt to try…..'

"TOBI IS SORRY AND PROMISSES NOT TO DO IT AGAIN! PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT TOBI KISAME-SENPAI!" Tobi was just hoping that was enough to stop Kisame from giving him a long and boring speech but he wasn't that lucky.

"It's ok Tobi I'm not angry at you I just wanted to tell you…"and after the word "you" Tobi's mind drifted off into "lala-land" and he wasn't paying attention to anything Kisame was saying. He watched Kisame's lips move making words but he didn't know what he was saying. Once in a while he would hear some words like "trust" and "respect" but he dismissed them. When Tobi noticed Kisame's lips stopped moving and was staring at him he said "thank you!" and "Tobi is a good boy!" and after Kisame looked satisfied he went to do his training.

So yeah Tobi got away! Aren't you glad I'm still alive?! (If you don't I don't care because you are just a diary….. right?) Anyway Tobi lives for another day to torment the other Akatsuki members *evil laugh*

Now if you excuse me I'm going to go find someone else to bother and see what I can get away with….

Love,

Your owner and master Obito (also known as that idiot Tobi *scowls behind mask*)

=== A.N. ===

So yeah that was my little drabbling and I'm hoping that people like it and I'm going to try to continue it when I'm can. I look forward to your comments and constructive criticism. Got any ideas you would like me to write? PM me or leave a comment. Do you have any Akatsuki member you would like me to pair Tobi/Obito with? PM or leave a comment. Want to have a conversation because you're bored? You know what to do! (I was aiming for the "voice" of the advertising guy from the really cheesy commercials so yeah…..)

Anyways I don't always have free time and tend to accidentally (and I mean accidentally because I actually don't mean to) procrastinate and like since I've just started writing on fan fiction I might not update for a while but still your ideas and comments are appreciated. Till the next chapter see ya later! *waves at you and gives a hug then magically disappears leaving behind a tray of cookies that reads "thank you for reading, hope you like it, and go ahead and help yourself at the cookies (no they are not poisoned because I love you)"*