Inside Hatter's Head

Summary: Just a peek inside the head of everyone's favorite mad-man when Alice shows up at the tea-table for a second time!

A/N: Because it's Hatter, if you can't understand anything, look at it sideways in a mirror. Or just comment. :)

Why is a raven like a writing desk? DODGE THE SPOON. Stupid hare, broke my window. M, m, what starts with "M"? Mustard, madness, magnificent, muchness, muchness, muchness, muchness, mushrooms- Alice! -Alice doesn't start with "M", you dote- But there she is! Alice, Alice, Alice, that's such a beautiful name, and she's so tiny, small, minute- Another "M"!- And she's so pretty, she's a bit older than last time- Shut up stupid she's talking!- Her voice is so beautiful- What's that noise?- Where? It's not Alice, her voice is so beautiful- No, no, no, in the forest, it sounds like- RED QUEEN'S GUARDS! THEY'RE LOOKING FOR ALICE! How do I hide her- Make her even smaller, she could fit in the teapot- Where's the bottle? There it is- Be careful not to pour too quickly, she's so tiny, you might choke her- She's small enough, let's put her inside- DON'T DROP HER!- Wait! Her clothes are too big, let's get a bit of lace- Don't peak at her, stupid!- Trim here trim there, there you go, that's pretty- STOP TALKING TO HER STUPID, the guards are coming!- Go away, it's teatime, don't you know it's extremely rude to interupt teatime?- Good, they're gone.- Let's take Alice on a walk, that would be nice!- How? She's barely 3 inches tall.- By hat, of course.- How come every time we see her, she's never the right size?- I haven't the slightest idea!