SPOV

It would take three damn weeks to get rid of all the tubes and wires holding me together. Three weeks of being stuck in a bed, staring at blank white walls most of the time. I had a ruptured spleen, a few cracked ribs, a broken left leg and a whole lot of cuts and bruises everywhere. For the first week I couldn't even get out of bed to use the bathroom. Every now and again I got terrible headaches, but my doctors kept assuring me they weren't permanent. I was certainly grateful to be alive, but I was slowly going crazy tied up to the monitors near my bed.

It didn't take long for people to start cornering … ahem…visiting me and asking questions. In fact, not five minutes after I opened my eyes to see Ranger looking at me with relief, Joe cleared his throat. He looked torn between getting angry and being relieved I was alive.

Thank God, you're alive, Cupcake, he finally managed.

I nodded. There wasn't anything I could add to that.

What happened? How long was I out? I vaguely remembered the intersection and being hit, struggling to reach for my phone to call for help.

You were in a car accident, babe. What's the last thing you remember?

I remember the truck hitting me and trying to speed dial one and…

I never got your call, Steph, Joe interrupted.

My eyes flicked to Ranger's face and I must have looked guilty.

Great, you've got Rambo here on speed dial one. I suppose this should bother me, but since you need to be rescued on a daily basis, I guess it makes sense. As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Stephanie was barely out of a coma and here I was, being an ass. I needed some sleep and to clear my head before I said anything else. Look Steph, I'm really glad you're alive and I guess we need to talk, but obviously now is not the time for it. I'll let you rest and come visit you later.

He didn't even wait for a reply, which was fine with me, because nothing I could say to him at the moment was very nice. My eyes found Ranger again. He looked tired and a little wary.

Don't take it the wrong way, Ranger, but you look like I feel. When was the last time you slept or ate? Actually, when was the last time I ate? I asked.

He managed a smile, before answering. Relax babe, you only missed a couple of meals. You were out for three days. There are some doctors here to see you babe, now that you're awake.

Will you stay? I asked, still uncomfortable at the thought of him leaving.

Of course, he answered simply and got up to open the door to my doctors. For the next few hours I was prodded and checked by a horde of doctors. Before the last one could finish what he was doing, I was asleep.

Waking up was certainly getting easier, but I was struck by a powerful sense of déjà vu. Morelli and Ranger were sitting beside my bed, starring daggers at each other. Well, Morelli was starring, Ranger was his usual impassive self, which seemed to irk Joe to no end. Before I could fake still being asleep, Morelli noticed me.

Hi, Cupcake. How are you feeling?

Like I was run over by a truck. I knew it was a cheesy line, but let's face it. How often could I use it truthfully? I sobered up quickly realizing that being me, I might just find myself using it more than once. I rolled my eyes at myself.

How long have you been waiting? I asked.

Not long, he said. I just got here 20 minutes ago. Listen Steph…can we talk? Privately, he then added, shooting Ranger a black look.

Sure, I answered.

I'll just be outside if you need anything, Ranger said before leaving.

The room was quiet after he left, the silence awkward. I didn't know how to break the silence and by the look on Morelli's face I wasn't sure I wanted to break it. He got up and started pacing the room, gesturing and muttering to himself.

JPOV

I found myself pacing again, trying to order my thoughts. Somehow I knew this conversation was pivotal to my relationship with Steph and I didn't want to put my foot in my mouth and ruin things. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach that I was trying hard to ignore. It started soon after hearing about Steph's accident and only snowballed from there. It certainly didn't get better when she crashed, nor did it get better when she only seemed to be reacting to Ranger's presence. I didn't know what it all meant, but it couldn't be anything good for me and I was at a loss at how to turn things around. I took a deep breath and begun.

Look Steph. I was thinking… You'll obviously need some help once you get home and I know how you hate to go back to your parents and I was thinking that we could take advantage of the situation and turn things around for us. See the silver lining kind of thing, you know, I rambled on. OK, this was not going great. I could see that Steph was not totally following me.

I'd like you to move in with me, I said looking into her eyes. I could take care of you while you're recuperating and it might just be what we need to take things to the next level. You wouldn't have to pay rent so obviously not working would be just fine. Of course, once you're better you could go back to bounty hunting if that's what you want, I hurried to add seeing the look on her face. But you wouldn't have to. It would be your choice. If you do go back to bounty hunting, maybe I could help you from time to time. You know, with information and stuff. I want you to be able to count on me. I didn't add that I was hoping she wouldn't feel the need to have Ranger on speed dial one anymore. You know I love you and this accident was a wake-up call, I finished my speech and looked at her waiting or an answer. She had a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face and she was quiet for a long time. I was starting to get nervous and was about to add that she didn't need to decide right away when she spoke, her voice a little raspy.

Joe, you know I love you, too…

But? I asked, the ball of dread growing a little bit bigger. Funny how I could physically feel it in my stomach, like a nice little piece of ice. Never knew that could happen. I felt my knees weaken and sat down in the chair close to the bed.

SPOV

But I don't think that's the best idea, I added. Crap on a cracker, this was hard to do. I didn't see this coming and I had no clue what to do. But judging by the nausea I kept feeling every time I thought about a permanent commitment to Joe, moving in might not be wise. Sure, it was great and a bit surprising he was supportive about my job and was willing to help me out, but I knew Joe. The first time my car would blow up or a skip would take a shot at me, he'd be back to drinking Maalox and wishing I had a safer job, like sword eating or you know, bomb tech. It just feels like both of us would be compromising too much to make things work. Can you really imagine grandma Bella and grandma Mazur at the same Christmas table without World War III breaking out?

We might have to have two Christmas dinners to make it work, he adds with a sad smile.

Joe, I'm really grateful for your offer to help me out now and again but can you honestly say you'd be okay with my job? As fucked up as it sounds, I like my life just as it is, explosions and shoot-outs included. I like taking down scumbags and I'm kind of proud of being able to track them down every time. Granted, I might not excel at apprehending them, but I can get help with that. I feel I'd have to cut down on the dangerous stuff if I moved in. I mean, I don't give a crap if someone firebombs my apartment, it's all third hand furniture and crappy appliances anyway. Hell, as long as Rex makes it out alive, I hope someone finally takes out the damn bathroom. But I'd feel horrible if someone firebombed your home. I haven't even gotten over the garage exploding and you weren't using it. It's not fair to you to have to live with my job when you hate me doing it and it's not fair to me to feel guilty about doing something I like.

Is this about Ranger? Joe asked getting up and resuming pacing.

No, Joe. This is about you and me and us not being on the same page.

He sighed heavily. Yeah, right. Look Steph, I need to get to work. I'll see you around, he added without meeting my eyes, hurrying out.

I spaced out for a few minutes contemplating the end of a very complicated relationship. For the past several years, Morelli had been a very big part of my life and there were parts of me – I suspected these were the same parts that were responsible for my repeated amorous encounters with Morelli through the years - that still hoped for a happily ever after with him. Letting go of him was in a way letting go of everything familiar and opening up to the big unknown. I didn't know exactly what the future would bring, but at least I knew what I didn't want my life to be like. I was brought out of my reverie by Ranger's voice.

Do I need to firebomb your bathroom, babe? he asked, a smile ghosting across his face. Either the walls in this hospital were paper thin or he had a bug somewhere in my room. Possibly both. I tried to work up some indignation at him listening in to my private conversations, but I couldn't quite seem to get a handle on it.

I could probably live with it as it is …. as long as you're in it, I said without thinking and watched as the smile turned into a wolf grin.

I'll see what I can do, he answered getting closer to the bed. I should probably make sure you like your whole apartment…your kitchen, your living room and especially your bedroom, he teased. Though it might be better if you altogether come to hate the place. He bent down, bringing his face closer to mine.

Hmm…why is that? I was embarrassed to hear the heart monitor pick up. Great, now the whole hospital will know how he affects me.

Might be easier to convince you to move in with me. I have a closet I can share and excellent bed sheets, so I'm told. It was getting impossible to concentrate with his nose skimming my outer ear, though I made an effort.

Moving in and closet sharing sounds an awful lot like being in a relationship, I whispered.

That it does, though I remember offering to explain to you what a relationship entailed, he teased again, wolf grin still in place. I'd be glad to get into … the finer points of that.

He was now kissing down my neck and I had to work hard to stop the moan this time. I'm sure you would. Would I have to leave your bed at some point?

Only if you still want to work and you promise to eventually come back in it. His lips were now hovering at the corner of my mouth.

You could always come … with me, I suggested, a smile of my own in place.

That's always a given with you, babe.

Good to know. Do you think you'll kiss me anytime soon? I barely had time to finish my sentence that his lips crashed on mine. Every time Ranger kisses me there's a rush of emotions surging through me, but this time kissing him was like finally coming home. We might need to have another similar conversation at some point, but for now it was enough to know we had a place we could come back to each other to.