Flashback - 5 years prior

Happiness seemed to be a figment of the imagination. Something that was made up by prose and poetry, and exacerbated by Hollywood after some time. There were no such things as happily ever afters, and Riley realised, now more than ever, that prince charmings never existed. The one glimmer of freedom after ages of lies and chains was slowly becoming the greatest wound she could bear. Couples wasn't a new concept, nor was it something anyone didn't expect having such gruesome employment. Superheroes bore more agonies than many knew. While they fight for the betterment of their communities, often they lose a stability that civilians too often take for granted.

That was the hardship Riley bore, and now she was beginning to realise that what had gotten her through the worst of her transformation now would be the downfall of her new life. When she had revealed her identity to Wally, she had done so after years of close friendship. He was her confidant when things seemed the most blue, and despite the initials frustrations that were born from the lies she purposefully adhered to, Wally never rejected her. He understood that her identity, both in name and gender, were hidden by her father in hopes of never connecting the two. It was to keep her identity safe, and often at times, she thought to keep HIS empire secure.

So thereafter he too bore her secret, and the intimacy of that trust follow through as children turned to teenagers. She wasn't sure when she fell in love with him, perhaps she had always been, but the passion that ensued was aligned with the dramaticism of their lives. The danger that came with heroism, the constant need of assurances when masks hide more than wandering eyes and crude smiles. It was too much to take, and thus, Riley decided to pass on her legacy in favour of a normal life. She craved the normalcy of a public education, of pursuing a normal job where she might find comforts in returning home every day to peace and tranquillity. While she thought her yearning understood, often she would find friction between them.

When Riley left the team, and Jason took her place, a new member arose in the gap. An archer with skills that rivalled many others she had seen in all her years. Artemis was beautiful, and furthermore, she was exactly the sort of person Wally deserved. She was ready to give wholeheartedly and was steadfast in her beliefs. Riley wavered too easily, and her loyalties seemed too unfixed between family and friends. She was also jealous and persistent in her need of adamant affection. The insecurity of their separations ran deep within her, and thus began a toxic cycle of overactive imaginations and doubt. She smothered him, begged him to withdraw with her and escape the storm of darkness harping at their doors.

Yet his reluctance drove her further into grief, and a girl of seventeen could not so easily feign the emotions that swallowed her whole. That was what led them there, and thus began the unmistakable path of aberration and damnation. It had to have been the sixth time he walked out of her, the fight so loud it echoed in the dark and dreary halls of Wayne Manor. Bruce was out on business, and Alfred otherwise occupied far away as to not disturb. No one was there to hear her cries, no one but the teenage youngster so ready to adhere to his sister's side.

Jason meant well, and he always had, but the reality of his affections had been misunderstood for years. He cared for her deeply and was thus enamoured by her in many ways. He had hidden his childish crush in the beginning, afraid to offend his new father by his growing infatuation with his daughter, but found that each day it grew tenfold. It had infuriated him when the redheaded speedster had repeatedly broken her heart. She had deserved far better, someone who would be unendingly loyal to her no matter what. That was why he was the first to inform his sister what transpired in her absence with the speedsters newfound flirtations with the blonde archer.

On this particular night, he had been quick to attend to her, bringing a soft but serious smile and a glass of whatever he stole from his father's liquor cabinet. While Riley particularly wasn't interested in the drink, she took it grateful for the thought. They sat together in her room for hours that night, speaking of a variety of things to occupy her mind from the suffering at hand. Just as they always had, lie side by side as the moon rose into the depths of the sky, as with an empty glass upon her nightstand Jason tried to sooth the girl into a peaceful sleep. While the lull of rest did take her closer, she was awake enough to feel the fifteen-year-old snuggle up against her, a brief peck pressed upon her lips before hiding away into the pillow. She thought little of it then, but as each day rolled on - it slowly became an overbearing focus.

At first, she thought it a dream, but as the days passed, the dark haired beauty caught his gaze far more than normal. Why had she not noticed this before? When had this begun? She thinks, perhaps, she should bring it up to Bruce, and hope that the man would be merciful to the boy. He was only just a child after all, at least, that was how she thought of him. His gesture was kind, and despite her genuine hope they could remain how they were, things began to change. His touches felt heavier and his requests all the more gentile. It was like watching a dance begin and being completely inept in the steps.

The only good that came of it, was the distraction needed for her relationship. Her fixation on unravelling her brother's new course of actions gave air between the speedster and herself. However, it also gave a new sense of worry, as Wally was unaccustomed to her restraint. It was two weeks before he came back around, and even then stayed briefly before he was called away on a mission. It was disheartening to watch him go, but somehow she felt not the pangs of agony she was so familiar with.

She knew it was wrong, she knew it was a horrid thing to enjoy the attention so solely focused on herself. Yet she couldn't find the words to end it, nor could she allow the actions to become known. When others would put peel to paint on the young man's actions, she did not speak up when he continued to tuck himself into her bed at night. When his arm wrapped around her waist in a departing squeeze, she didn't prickle any longer with discomfort at the lingering affections. It was steady, it was stable, and god save her - it was better than the overwhelming waves of fear that choked her with Wally.

Riley never had to compete when it came to Jason's attention, nor did she had to erase her hopes of a future. It was a kind of tranquillity that never pushed too far on the realms of right and wrong, even though the thought often dwelled in the back of her mind. Yet even that could not be a peace, for despite her finding a rhythm of ease between the two - her stability was the catalyst for the others unruly discomforts. Wally was no longer constantly requested at her side and thus found confusion at his place there. He no longer knew if she wanted to continue their relationship, and for the first time found himself looking for any that may tread within his path. While her insecurity breed issue, his loyalty to her had NEVER wavered. Wally loved her, his best friend, more than anything in the world. He had full intentions of following after her when the time was right and was simply waiting for another to take his place.

Jason, however, saw the speedster as an obstacle in his way. He knew that if he could separate the cancer that attached itself to his sister - he could allow her the mobility to pursue her dreams. West would never release the mask, and ultimately would choose the life of Riley, thus breaking her heart once again. Perhaps he got some satisfaction in her devotions? The number of times she felt so lost, the number of times she was left crying alone - how could someone be so cruel? To play with the heart of something so pure, so valiant, so loving? Jason would never betray her like that, nor would he ever allow her to continuously face abuse at the others hands.

Thus began the unhealthy arrangement, a death dance so to speak, where despite her heart being lost to Wally West from the age of thirteen - her brother's manipulations seemed to hold the power of her entire being. Wherever there was despair, whenever there were frustrations to be had, he was there to soothe her loneliness by tenfold. Perhaps that was the cruelty of it all, perhaps that was the catalyst for so much grief, but in the moment it was safe - it was pure. He boy she had coddled from the point of utter despair and delinquency now revived and relieved the darkest confines of her being. What was she to do? How was she to fair? Was it truly wrong to hold such an intimacy of the mind and heart with someone forever locked in the matrimony of relations? He was her brother, someone she loved so dearly, and wanted nothing more than to give him the greatest happiness they could afford. Yet she could not give him her soul, she could not give him her in all its entirety, no matter what he may covet. That was already held by someone else, someone she loved just as passionately if only in a different way.

She thought everything would be okay, that they would figure out how this dance would end without harming anyone. Alas, that was not how it ended, and instead of a beautiful crescendo came the very worst of grief. When Jason was killed, her heart was irreversibly broken, and in a time she needed Wally the most - he never came. It was madness that was far crueller than the monster that had inflicted this upon her. The doubts were unimaginable, and the fury matched without reprieve. Minutes turned to hours, and hours turned to days. All alone, forgotten by the one she trusted most.

When she approached Bruce on the matter, hoping perhaps that her father would be able to offer some advice that could repair what fragile barriers stood between her and utter seclusion, she found her answer. Standing in the middle of his study, stood her father holding tightly a leather bound journal. Initialled in gold leaf was Jason Todd Wayne, and before words could come to pass the very worst was imagined and foretold. What, perhaps, surprised her most was the lack of fury, the almost numb approach to his son revealing his obsession with his sister in printed ink. The vilest details of his imagination passed from page to page, and the only question hung stale within the air between the two. 'Did you encourage this? '

At first, she did not know how to answer, blue eyes widened in fear and mortification - and worst of all, doubt in her answer. While never did she allude to any desires beyond that of familial bonding, she knew Jason's affections ran deeper than average. The kiss, that blasted kiss, burned into her memory for all her days to come. Tears found fresh upon her gaze, and quickly she fell in shame before him. It was an answer, not in words so much as action, and it was enough to erupt a domino effect of agony. She confessed to him her brother's actions and thus revealing her lack of conviction to stop it. Riley tried to explain, tried to find words that could convey the reason for her reluctance to put end to the childish delusions of her now departed brother. Yet she couldn't, only found that the babbling mess she became was silenced with withering glances of disappointment and what she could only conclude to be shame.

Days passed in silence, and misery breed fear which in turn fell into emptiness. Finally, when the one spark of sunshine did arrive upon her doorstep, her heart had fallen too far. Wally did come, days late after the tragedy, but he came with flowers and chocolates hoping to soothe what pains he could, citing his mentor having kept him away so that the personal grieving may pass in the public frame. That goofy smiled boy, freckles spotted over his cheeks as his soft laugh tried to muscle some sort of glimmer from the shadow cast eyes. He tried to help her, he wanted to see his feisty little warrior return to his arms if only for a moment, but she was filled with decay. Retracting from all manner of goodness or pleasures, her eyes cast down no matter what was prompted.

He stayed for hours, at first adamant in his attempts to quell her woe, then fell into mutual silence sitting at her side perhaps hoping to relieve her pain by proxy. Somehow that broke her heart more, his innocent refusal to let her bear her agony alone - if he only knew what she was, if he found out how disgusting she could truly be. Not only had she cost her brother his life, but now she was costing Wally his happiness. Perhaps she had been doing that for a long time, dragging him belong in his shadow when he was destined for the sun. She didn't deserve him, and she knew she had to let him go.

He tried to argue, he tried to say she just needed time to heal, but she knew it could no longer continue. She released him from his obligation to her, a phrasing that seemed to shatter him in a single blow, and requested that he no longer return to the Manor. In the most heart-wrenching moments of her life, she remained steadfast and absolute, as there were no more tears left to be had. She told him he deserved to be happy, he deserved to be with a person would give him everything he wanted, be everything he wanted, as she no longer felt capable of doing. When finally no argument was left to be had, and she was unyielding in her decision, he departed without further resistance. Leaving only the flowers and half eaten chocolates in his wake, she felt then a rush of overwhelming anguish at the void that now was her heart.

In the course of a week, Riley Grayson had lost the two sides of her heart, both by her own admission, completely and utterly her fault. No longer did the glories of the mask seem appealing, no longer did a world rising out of the shadows of Bruce Wayne seem gratifying. All the rang true was the lulling sound of rain and thunder, and the soft prayers of a morning awoken from the hellish nightmare that had quickly become her life.

New chapter sooner than I thought, just couldn't get this out of my head quick enough to help put a little more context into all the craziness, which is why it's a bit shorter than the rest. Like I've said before, comments and likes always help keep me motivated! Questions too are always welcomed. Thanks (: