Author's note: This is the first in a series of stand-alone stories spotlighting some of Ryoga Hibiki's adventures when he isn't in Nerima, which basically means when he is lost as usual. They don't take place in any particular time-frame unless specified otherwise.

Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Kousuke Fujishima, not me. I make no money from this story, so please don't sue me.

Oh My!
by Corina "Mako" Borsuk

"Furinkin High should be just around the corner," Ryoga Hibiki muttered to himself.

The Japanese teenager was hopeful that his intended destination was close, although there was no particular reason for his optimism. Despite the fact that Ryoga was a very strong and exceptionally skilled martial artist who had proven time and again that he could take care of himself in almost any situation and feared next to nothing, except speaking with a certain girl named Akane Tendo, there were inescapable facts of his existence that doomed him to a life of misery. No, it wasn't his fang-like teeth or his inability, so far, to defeat his rival. It was the fact that Ryoga was cursed. He had been cursed since the day he was born to be lost, and not an ordinary type of lost. This was the kind of lost where he couldn't find his own house even if it was right around the corner. So, it really shouldn't have surprised him that when he rounded this particular corner, instead of finding Furinkin High School in Nerima, he saw a path that led to what looked like some kind of shrine.

"Errrrrr! Ahhhhhhggggggg! WHY ME!" The outraged scream tore through the previous calm of the area. And, even though Ryoga had been half expecting to find himself lost again, he couldn't help but fall to his knees and pound the ground in frustration. Unfortunately, having been trained by an ancient Chinese Amazon in the Breaking Point Technique that allowed him to locate and exploit the weak point of stone, rock and other inanimate objects, Ryoga's pounding fists were creating large craters in the ground. And, pounding the ground into dust tended to create a lot of noise and vibration that was nearly impossible for the residents of the shrine to ignore.

Despite his current depressed state, Ryoga was still alert to his surroundings, and he sensed the movement to his left before the digital voice even had a chance to shout "Intruder! Intruder!" By the time the strange little robot with its spherical head, slightly larger spherical body, and wooden hat waddled onto the path on legs that seemed far too spindly to hold it upright, the Lost Boy was in a fighting stance. It was child's play for the martial artist to dodge the net the little robot fired at him while it said, "Capture Mode!" And, after hurling a single yellow bandanna with enough force to slice into its metal body, causing the little robot to shut down, the fight was over.

"Hah! You have to do a lot better than that to defeat Ryoga Hibiki," the Lost Boy shouted, cracking his knuckles as if preparing for more. In fact, he was hoping for it. In situations like these, giving something or someone a good pounding usually helped improve his mood.

When Ryoga heard the sound of hurried footfalls coming toward him, he grinned in anticipation. Launching himself in the direction the sounds came from, he crashed through a bush and barely managed to stop himself before slamming his fist into the face of a young girl. She looked to be a few years younger than he was and had long, straight black hair tied back with a ribbon. She wore an odd pink dress, or maybe it was a coat, and matching boots. But, what really stood out in Ryoga's mind was the fact that she didn't look Japanese - had he somehow managed to end up in a foreign country again - and that she had a mallet on her back. (Although, on second thought, it really shouldn't be that strange considering he knew a girl that wore a giant spatula on her back.) Plus, of course, there was the fact that she had just opened her mouth as if to ...

"Aaaaaaagh!"

"Uh, uh, uh," Ryoga stammered in response to her delayed scream. "I'm sorry. Really sorry," he continued, bowing slightly to emphasize his point. "I thought you were with that thing trying to attack me. I didn't know you were a girl, and, and, and ..."

The girl, named Skuld, wasn't paying much attention to Ryoga's babbling. After her initial shock at almost being punched wore off, she noticed her personal robot, Banpei, sitting to the side, unmoving. Then, she glanced back to the boy, then back to Banpei, then the boy, then Banpei, and then something the boy said about an attack registered. Skuld had been testing her new Evil Detection Software upgrade on Banpei when he had dashed off. If Banpei had attacked the boy, he must be some kind of demon.

"Aaaaagh! Get away you evil demon, you! You hurt Banpei! I HATE you! Evil! Evil! Evil!" Skuld screamed, pointing at Ryoga, who just stared in confusion.

Suddenly, Ryoga felt a powerful force knock him to the ground. The last thing he was aware of before losing consciousness was a strange tingling feeling on his face.

Skuld, for her part, just stood there for a moment, a smile forming on her face. She had beaten a demon. She was sure to get a license upgrade for this. Well, maybe not that, but her big sister Belldandy would be proud of her.

"Skuld, what in the world is going on?"

The young goddess Skuld turned to see her oldest sister, the white-haired, bronze-skinned goddess Urd, standing behind her and looking more than a little cross.

"I defeated a demon," Skuld announced proudly.

"I hate to tell you this, kid," Urd replied, walking over to the prone form of the boy wearing the yellow bandanna, "but he's no demon. He's human."

*******

As Ryoga floated toward consciousness, he heard female voices arguing, but couldn't place them. So, he opened his eyes cautiously, but not cautiously enough as he was met face to chest with a very buxom and boldly-dressed girl. Nope, make that woman, Ryoga's mind corrected as he felt the blood trickle slowly from his nose.

"Pervert!"

At the cry, Ryoga's left arm started to tingle, and the sensation brought him to full consciousness. The commotion also caused the woman leaning over Ryoga to stand up, giving him a view of the ceiling instead of her well-developed chest.

"What is your problem?"

Ryoga tried to think of an answer that wouldn't get him bashed or chased, which was what tended to happen when you got caught staring at that part of a girl. Fortunately, he realized the woman wasn't talking to him when another voice answered,"He's awake, and he was looking at your chest! Not that you probably care!"

Ryoga saw the woman look down at him as she said, "Guess you're right."

Ryoga blushed and started stammering, but the woman cut off his attempt at an apology with a waive of her hand. "I'm Urd," she said, then pointed to her left, adding, "and that's Skuld. But, I think you've already met."

Ryoga turned his head and saw the same dark-haired girl from the earlier incident standing next to him. She was wearing a frown and clutched her mallet to her chest. The sight only confirmed his worst fears. It hadn't been a nightmare. Ryoga Hibiki had been defeated by a little girl, and he didn't even think she was a martial artist.

"I'm nothing! Nothing!" Ryoga wailed. "I should just die now! Agggggghhhhhhh!" Energy formed around the Lost Boy, growing stronger as the moments went past and his depression increased.

"Damn! Skuld, get outta here!" Urd shouted, even as she began tracing figures in the air. She mumbled a few words in a foreign language just before turning around quickly to grab a bottle from the shelf behind her. She throw it at Ryoga just as a blast of energy shot up and out from his body.

When the dust settled, along with quite a few other things that had been thrown about in the blast, Urd was sitting on the floor with remnants of various smashed bottles scattered around, Ryoga was lying on Urd's table, which was now on the floor, and Skull stood staring at the entire scene.

"I told you he was a demon," Skuld announced in much too a calm voice.

"De . . . De . . . Demon?" Ryoga stammered. "Who's a demon? Where?"

"YOU ARE!" Skuld screamed. "Demon! Demon! Demon!"

"I AM NOT a DEMON!" Ryoga shouted back. Then he noticed some strange black marks on his arms, black marks with the kanji for demon. Ryoga looked stricken, and began babbling, "I'm not a demon, really. Not, not, not. No demon. Not here."

"Relax," Urd said as she tried to unsuccessfully brush off her clothes. "You're not a demon, and that should fade off in a little while."

Skuld squared her shoulders, marched up to Urd and demanded, "Why are you being so nice to HIM?"

"Because I don't want him getting all depressed again and setting off another of those attacks."

"WHAT!?!"

"That is what happened, right?" Urd asked calmly, turning to Ryoga and ignoring Skuld's outburst.

"Um, yeah," Ryoga mumbled in confirmation.

"Stop pretending I'm not here!!!" Skuld shouted. "I wanna know what happened!"

Urd gave an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes before answering. "That boy over there," and Urd pointed directly at Ryoga, "is able to generate and channel huge amounts of ki when he gets depressed. That's the simplest explanation I can give you."

"How do YOU know that!?!" Skuld demanded. "And, how come you didn't stop it?"

"What part of what happened did you NOT notice?" Urd demanded. "If I hadn't done something, you would have been toast, and I'd have a new skylight in my room."

"You egomaniac. You couldn't stop something that powerful if you tried! Besides, he's not that strong. I knocked him out!"

"What would y . . ." Urd was cut off mid-retort when Ryoga started moaning and then glowing. Skuld's mouth dropped open before she decided to make a quick retreat into the hall just in case. Urd, on the other hand, just stood there unconcerned, running her fingers through her hair to straighten it out.

When Skuld didn't hear anything for a few moments, she peaked around the corner to find Urd still looking completely calm and self-assured and the boy with his mouth open is shock.

"Wha . . . what happened?"

"I happened," Urd replied with a flip of her hair. "The potion has a minor euphoric affect, on humans anyway, and the spell was a simple energy reallocation. Whatever ki he generates is shifted to Yggdrasil for backup power. Not that it needs it, but I figured Heaven could handle the extra power."

"I really am nothing," Ryoga wailed. "My attacks don't work, and I was beaten by a little girl. I should just DIE!!!!" Ryoga glowed again briefly, but the energy just faded away, so he was left with nothing to do except pound the floor.

"Do you mind not destroying my room?" Urd asked, staring down at Ryoga. "And, for goodness sake, cheer up already. I've never seen anyone as depressed as you."

"But, but, but . . . I'll never defeat Ranma if one of my most powerful attacks doesn't work anymore." Ryoga glowed briefly again, but the energy faded as quickly as it came. "Not that it matters when I've been DEFEATED BY A LITTLE GIRL!!!!" Ryoga glowed brighter than ever, and the aura affect lasted for several seconds and even caused the air around him to hum a bit before fading away.

"Aw shit!" Urd muttered. "Look, I don't know who this Ranma is, but before you go getting all depressed again, you should know Skuld is no ordinary girl. Besides being a major brat . . ."

"Hey, who are you calling a brat?"

Urd continued as if Skuld had never spoken, "she's also a goddess. Of course, she's nowhere in my league."

"Goddess?!"

"Urd!!"

"What?" Urd responded to Skuld in mock innocence. "I had to tell him something before he overloaded Yggdrasil with that depression ki."

"Is she really a goddess?" Ryoga asked Urd in disbelief, but obviously desperate to prove he hadn't been beaten by some little girl.

Urd nodded, then added, "Of course, she's not very powerful for a goddess. She's only got a second-class, limited license."

"As if you've got anything better!" Skuld shouted. "At least I'll get a license upgrade soon, unlike you."

"And, when exactly do you think that will happen?"

"A lot sooner than you actually getting your powers to work right!"

"Excuse me! Look who's talking Ms. No Powers!"

"Why you . . . you MEANIE!" And, at Skuld's words, the kanji for mean appeared on Urd's face. Ryoga gaped, Skuld smirked, and Urd looked ready to kill, little bolts of lightning crackling between her fingers.

"That does it, kiddo. I'm going to prove once and for all who the better goddess is."

"And, how are you going to do that, Urd?"

"Simple," Urd said, pointing to Ryoga, who was thankful that the lightning had gone away, "the first one of us to cure his curse is forever the better goddess, and the other one has to bow before her and grovel at her feet. Agreed?"

Skuld thought for a minute, then said, "Agreed."

"You know about my curse?" Ryoga whispered in humiliation, wishing the earth would swallow him up.

*******

"Hold still."

Splash.

"That's HOT!"

"Don't squirm, and don't complain or next time it'll be ice water."

"No, no, no. I'll behave."

"Hmmmm."

Silence. There was complete silence for a few moments, and it unnerved Ryoga even more than the constant orders from Urd had annoyed him. Slowly, he opened his eyes. It wasn't that Ryoga was afraid, of course. It was just that some things were better left unseen. "Eeek." Like that strange metal thing with feathers attached. Definitely best not to see that.

"Calm down. I'm almost done. Jeez, you wouldn't know I was trying to help you from the way you're acting."

Ryoga sensed that Urd had moved to the other side of the room, so he decided it might be safe to open his eyes now. Yup, this time it was safe. No strange objects or colored liquids flying in his direction.

"Okay, I'm done. Quite the curse you've got there. I haven't seen one of those generational ones in a long time."

"Generational?"

"You and your family do get lost a lot, am I right?"

Suddenly realizing that the curse Urd had been talking about all this time was THAT curse, and that her exam was over so he didn't need to worry about a sudden splash of cold water, Ryoga was relieved and more than a little bit hopeful. "You mean, you can fix it so I don't get lost anymore?"

"Of course. You're talking to a top-notch goddess here."

Just then, the door burst open and Skuld shouted, "AS IF!"

For a split second, there was silence as the two goddesses stared each other down. Then Urd said, "Spying? That's not very sportsman-like."

"What would you know about that?" Skuld accused, then stuck her tongue out at her sister. "Besides, you never said I had to figure out what the curse was, just that I had to cure it."

"Go for it," Urd said with a dismissive wave of her hand and what Ryoga noted was a slightly scary smile on her face. But, before he could think too much about it, Skuld had grabbed his arm and started dragging him away.

*******

"Sit."

Ryoga hesitated for a second, then decided it was best just to do as he was told, for now. If he stayed standing, he might start walking, and then he was sure to get lost. That might not be a bad thing if he managed to end up in some other city far away from here. Most likely though, he would end up in a closet or something. Besides, these people were a bit scary, like Miss Hinako or something.

"So, you're cursed to get lost?" Skuld asked as she grabbed some large sheets of paper, a pencil, a square-shaped ruler, and measuring tape.

"Yes," Ryoga answered hesitantly, nervous at the glint in Skuld's eye.

"Now, just hold still," Skuld instructed as she proceeded to measure his head. A few measurements and calculations later and Skuld was assembling some sort of metal helmet.

Ryoga just watched at first, but finally his curiosity got the best of him. "Um, so is that thing going to stop me from getting lost.?"

"No," Skuld replied, quickly followed by, "Finished."

"No? Then, uh, what's it for?"

"It's the Mis-directional Computation Device."

"The Mis-direction Competition Device?"

"No, no, no," Skuld pouted as she tried to put the helmet on Ryoga. "It's the Mis-directional Computation Device. It's going to record your visual and auditory processing and determine what type of overriding program the curse has caused."

"Huh?"

"Geez, you're stupid. I said it's going to tell me what causes you to get lost. Now, stop moving, and let me put this on." Ryoga held still long enough for Skuld to put the helmet on, though he wasn't sure that was a good idea. He knew it wasn't when Skuld said, "Now, just walk out the door, turn right, and go to the end of the hall. Then turn around, and come back. Understand?"

Ryoga nodded, stood, and immediately walked in the opposite direction of the door.

"I said go out the door! That way!" Skuld shouted, pointing behind Ryoga.

The lost boy turned around, saw the door and headed in that direction. He actually made it this time. But, his victory was short-lived.

"I said turn right," Skuld said.

"I did turn right."

"No, you didn't! You turned left. Don't you know the difference between left and right?"

"Of course I do!" Ryoga retorted.

"Then prove it!" Skuld ordered, pointing in the direction Ryoga was supposed to go.

The next ten minutes didn't go any better than the first few seconds. It took Ryoga several more wrong turns before he reached the end of the hall, and there were a few more incidents after that before he made his way back to Skuld's room. And, Ryoga decided that Skuld's assistance did not help one bit.

Sitting in Skuld's room again, Ryoga was frustrated and, if the occasional flicker of blue was any indication, just slightly depressed. Watching the dark-haired girl furiously scribble on large sheets of paper wasn't exactly helping his mood any either.

"Hmmm." Skuld paused to scribble something else.

"Interesting." Ryoga sipped on some tea Banpei gave him as Skuld mumbled.

"If I use the quadratic equation here." Ryoga fidgeted while Skuld continued her calculations.

"Um, are you almost done?"

Skuld waved at him distractedly as she went "Ah, hmmm."

Ryoga sighed and sipped more tea.

"X equals the square root of 535. Y equals Z squared."

Banpei offered to refill Ryoga's tea cup.

Skuld's pencil broke, and she had Banpei sharpen a new one.

Just as Ryoga was about to lose his patience completely, the words he was waiting for finally came.

"I've got the cure!"

The surprise was, it didn't come from Skuld. Instead, it was the bronze-skinned Urd who had made that claim as she burst through Skuld's door.

There was silence for a moment, and then Ryoga and Skuld both started talking at the same time.

"Can you really cure my curse?"

"Not fair! I didn't have enough time."

Responding in reverse order, Urd said, "I never said I'd give you equal time, and, of course I can cure your curse. It's no problem for a goddess of my skills."

"Oh yeah, let's see this cure," Skuld said, figuring Urd was bluffing. Unfortunately, she wasn't. At Skuld's request - Well, Urd felt it was more like a demand, but she was willing to ignore that since she was about to win their little contest - the eldest of the earth-bound goddesses held out a glass vial filled with a bluish-green liquid.

"Will that really cure me?" Ryoga asked in awe.

"Of course. All you have to do is drink this, and," but Urd was cut off as Ryoga snatched the vial from her hand and downed the liquid in one gulp.

He blinked his eyes a few times, then looked around as if seeing things for the first time. Then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and walked out Skuld's door. Ryoga opened his eyes, turned right and walked to the end of the hall. Then he turned around and walked back the way he came, ending up back in Skuld's room.

"I did it, and I didn't get lost," Ryoga whispered, as if he was afraid that saying it aloud would break the spell.

"Told ya."

Ryoga's eyes lit up, and he started bowing to Urd over and over again as he said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." Then he grabbed his pack and ran out of the house shouting, "Here I come, Akane."

"Wait! Hey, wait up!" Urd shouted, trying to get Ryoga's attention, but to no avail. He was so happy to know where he was going for once in his life, that he was heading to his destination as fast as he could.

"Oh, well," Urd sighed as she played with a little glass vial filled with bluish-green liquid. "I hope wherever he's going isn't too far away."

"Why?" Skuld asked.

"Because he took off before I could give him his second dose. With those generational curses it takes at least two doses before the curse is completely gone. As it is, it'll return in a day or two." Urd just shrugged her shoulders. "Plus, I didn't get a chance to give him the artificial Spring of Drowned Man that's in my lab."

"Spring of Drowned Man?"

"I'll explain that later, but right now," and Urd paused for a moment to stretch herself to her full height and look down on Skuld, "I believe you have some bowing and groveling to do."

"And, why would I do that?"

"Because I cured that boy's curse, and that was the deal."

"But, you didn't cure him. You just said the curse will return in a few days. That means he's NOT really cured. You lose!"

"But."

"No buts. You're the one who made the rules," Skuld said, smirking at Urd, "so it's not my fault."

"Why you . . . Urd Bolt!"

*******

Ryoga Hibiki woke up the day after his strange meeting with the two self-proclaimed goddesses feeling a bit odd. He didn't think much of it as he packed up his things and prepared to continue his journey to Nerima. It wasn't until later when he realized that, after walking for an hour and ending up back at his campsite, he was lost again.

"RANMAAAAAAA, I hate you," he shouted to the heavens. "I just know this is your fault!"

The End