AN: Hi, so I started this a while back, like literally right after Dreamcatcher aired and it just got pushed behind my other dark swan stories. I have a really bad case of writer's block with my other stories so I revisited this one and I tweaked and edited it and decided to post it.
It's basically a different ending. Instead of Emma just letting Regina slam the door in her face she... well, you'll see what happens...
I just hope it's okay because I've never written from this point of view before.
All mistakes are mine. I don't own ONCE or Regina and Emma.
I hope you enjoy!
Goodbye, Miss Swan
"Goodbye, Miss Swan." She says with a finality in her tone that sends a chill through you. The barely concealed pain on her face causes your stomach to plummet and your heart to ache. You're pretty sure that the hurt in her eyes reflects your own.
You're unable to move, unable to breathe and you're pretty sure that this is what it feels like to have your heart torn out and crushed by the Evil Queen. Something flashes in those deep, brown eyes. It's not fear or even anger, no, it's the weight of disappointment. She's hurting because she believed in you and you let her down. She thinks you allowed the darkness to consume you, she thinks she lost you.
Clearly unable to take anymore because she's just as broken as you are at this point, she turns her back on you and you feel as though you've lost everything; Your friend, the mother of your child, the only person who truly sees you for who and what you really are and accepted it. Accepted you. The person whom you've trusted with the dagger, your life, your heart. You've come so far just to fall back into this.
But then again you've caused so much pain to Henry and to your friends. To her. But you hadn't expected her to find out. You hadn't expected her to not understand, to walk away. But she's understood everything else, you muse. She understands corruption by darkness. She would have looked past all of the things you've done but Henry. Henry got hurt in the process and he is everything to her. He's her world and you've hurt him.
In a way similar to what her mother has done to her. You betrayed him and in turn betrayed her. How the hell could you fix that?
The way Regina loves Henry with everything she has. The way there's no room in her heart for anyone else but him. That's why you fell in love with her. You got a taste of that in the time you've become her friend, she cared for you so deeply and you began to wonder what it would be like if she truly loved you. The two of you grew closer and before you knew it you were falling and she was... is everything. That's why you were here under the guise of just seeing Henry. You wanted to see her. Hear her. Be near her.
Because through the darkness slowly consuming you she is light. Despite being overshadowed by her own darkness and demons she found a way to chase yours away and to light the way for you. To keep you from getting too lost, keeping you close.
But you hurt her. If you didn't know any better you'd say she looked... heartbroken. You can't let her walk away like that, lose her. The only person who truly gets you. The only person that knows you better than you know yourself. The only one who makes all of this worth it.
"No." You say to her, your mask of indifference falling away. The disguise of the Dark One quickly crumbling down before the woman your heart has belonged to for so long. "Regina, Stop." You breathe but she doesn't hear you or she's just done listening because she doesn't turn around, her steps never falter.
You're panicking at this point. Fear of losing her and your son, your family, taking over.
This is it, you think, I can't let her go. I can't give up this fight. Without further deliberation you grab her elbow with a gentleness you forgot you even had. You feel her jump, surprised by the sudden contact but you don't let go. You can't let go. You spin her around to face you with very little effort.
You're face to face and her eyes are wide but it's not fear you see in those chocolate eyes. It's shock. She tries to free her arm to no avail. "What the hell are you doing?" She demands. "Let me go, Miss Swan."
"No, I can't. I can't let you go... not like this." You say so softly. Your voice sounds so small and frail that you can hardly believe it's yours for a moment and she even looks as if she's straining to hear. "I can't lose you."
Her eyes soften at that. "Emma, you've done some terrible things. You've hurt our son... " She says gently. And you don't know which sounds better: Your name falling from her lips or her saying 'our son'.
That drowning out the rest of what she said.
You nod, it's true, you did but you didn't expect him to find out. You didn't mean to hurt him. You also tried to make it up to him but the gesture was hollow in retrospect and you know that you'll never be able to make up for what you've done. Even when Regina was a villain she'd never hurt him intentionally.
"And as I said: I'm sorry." You say earnestly and you see her walls come crumbling down as she hears the tremor in your voice.
"It's not me whom you need to apologize to. You've hurt other people. You need to apologize to Henry for starters." She says almost coldly and you see the walls being rebuilt and you want to kick yourself for thinking it'll be that easy. You've known Regina long enough to know that nothing is ever simple with her, but you love that about her. Her ability to always keep you on your toes.
She tries to tug her arm free again but instead of letting go you simply tighten your grip and pull her closer. "And I will make it right with him, I promise."
"What's a promise from the Dark One worth?" She snaps, her voice lacking the bite it intended and you see through her defenses for a moment. You smirk.
"Not much but Emma always keeps her promises and you know that." You say pulling her even closer. She gasps at the close proximity of your bodies and you can see her flush slightly.
She clears her throat as she looks away. "I know but you haven't been... this isn't you... Emma."
"Oh..." You say as you lean in closer. "But it is. This is who I've always been."
"Impulsive." She supplies. "Never thinking of the consequences of your actions?"
"Exactly." You say simply. She scoffs and tries to pull away. "Will you stop that?"
"If you think you're intimidating me then it's not working. Do not forget that I did not fear you as the savior, the person destined to destroy me and I definitely do not fear you now."
You can't help the chuckle that escapes your chest. Is she for real? "You think I'm trying to intimidate you?" You snort. "Seriously, Regina?"
She glares daggers at you for a moment. The fire in those eyes scorching and you know that you've fucked up big time. You sober quickly. "No, I'm not mocking you... I just-" You try but she's not having any of it.
She rolls her eyes. "I should've known better." She pulls her arm again. "Release me, Emma."
"No." You say firmly. You draw her closer to you. Until she's pressed snuggly against your chest and you hope she can't hear or feel the way your heart is hammering against your rib cage.
The closeness of your bodies, her breasts pressed against your own, and the warmth radiating from her feels more incredible than anything you could've ever dreamed. The smell of her gentle yet very expensive perfume with the undertone of apples was invading your senses and for a moment you wonder if she just had apples or if that's just her natural scent. Then you wonder if she tastes like them as well.
She gazes up into your eyes and your breath catches in your throat. You find yourself lost in that intense shade of brown, that appear to sparkle as she watches you curiously. "What are you doing?" She tries again, this time much softer.
You lean in close and her breath is coming out in soft puffs against your lips and you could almost taste her. "Something I should've done a long time ago." You mutter against her lips and you feel her breath hitch.
You smirk to herself, then press your lips fully against hers. She gasps but it comes out more like a whimper. She doesn't respond at first but doesn't pull away either so you take that as a sign to keep going. You tilt your head to move in closer and start moving your lips against hers in a slow, smooth rhythm. That seems to wake her up and she's kissing you again. Lips matching your rhythm. Those plump lips moving across yours so sensually and you can no longer tell if your light headedness is do to the desire burning deep inside your lower belly or the lack of oxygen.
Either way you're not ready to let go. Instead you wrap your free arm around her waist trying to pull her closer even though it was impossible. Another whimper escapes her. Her lips are just as sweet and soft as you expected, if not even more so and you can't get enough. You want more, you want it all and you don't care if you're being greedy.
Only one brief, little taste and you're already addicted because the high she's giving you is just that powerful. That's why it hurts more than the burn in your lungs to pull away.
You gaze into her eyes to see what she's thinking and she stares back into yours as if doing the same. Her brows furrow, her eyes narrow and there's that burning anger again. You can practically hear her blood boiling. Before you can even react you feel the sharp sting of her hand colliding with your cheek. Your hand shoots to the injured flesh and her eyes are on yours again. Still searching. You can feel her chest heaving against yours and you're sure she can feel yours as well but you're positive she can hear your heartbeat taking the sound of a tribal drum.
You start to apologize but something in her eyes stops you and your words catch in your throat as her eyes lighten with affection, then in another moment they darken with desire and you know she found exactly what she was looking for because she fists the front of your black leather jacket and pulls you back to her. Your relieved sigh turns into a lustful growl when she crashes her lips into yours. You don't waste a second running your tongue along her bottom lip, she parts her lips for you and your tongue sides in and just as suspected you're greeted with the sweet taste of fresh apples.
Your tongue slides easily against hers, struggling for dominance which you both relinquish for the sake of the kiss. So they're just moving together in unison, tasting, caressing and exploring. Your heart has escaped your chest at this point and your brain is short circuiting but your senses are on overdrive, trying to feel, smell and hear all of her. Tasting every inch of her mouth, feeling her body's warmth pressed against you, as your hand wanders her back. You smirk into the kiss at the moans and whimpers you're eliciting every time you do something extra provocative with your tongue.
She slips her arm across your shoulder and you free her other arm so she can do the same with that one. Her arms are draped across your shoulders, her slim fingers dancing up and down the back of your neck. You hum your appreciation and tighten your arms around her waist.
Driven by your desire, you walk her backwards, keeping a firm grip on her as your lips devour each other. You press her up against the side of the house, remove one of your arms and press your now free hand against the wall beside the woman's head.
You continue to kiss her fully and gently. You both sigh as you press against her more firmly, effectively pinning her against the wall. Your other hand is wandering up and down her side, exploring, committing every curve and feel to memory.
This just feels so right. Nothing in your entire life has ever felt so true, so natural, so real. The way your lips move against hers so effortlessly, so smoothly. It's like the two of you were made to kiss each other.
You're lost in it and you don't care if you ever find your way back because this is where you're supposed to be, need to be... here... with her.
"This had better not be some kind of trick." She mutters between kisses and your heart skips and heat rushes straight to your core at the huskiness in her voice. "If you hurt me I'll kill you. I will not hesitate."
You smirk against her lips. You want to tell her what you're really thinking, how she makes you feel and how it's like you've never even been touched by the darkness when you're with her, but instead you cup her cheek, rubbing circles on the soft, olive skin with your thumb. "This is real. It's me." You whisper leaning in for another kiss because you miss her lips already. "You can trust me." You mutter between kisses. "I understand that you don't trust me right now and you have good reason not to but I want you."
"This shouldn't feel so good." She whispers against your lips causing you to tremble at the sensation. Her fingers dance along the back of your neck leaving goosebumps in their wake. "But it does and I know I shouldn't want this but I do."
You chuckle. "This is right, Regina." You assure her. "I've wanted this for a long time and judging by the way you're kissing me back, so have you." She sighs softly and kisses you again. That's all the confirmation you get.
And it's true. You've been waiting to do this for years. It feels like longer. As though you've been waiting your entire life to kiss this woman. The woman who's touch alone makes you feel as though every heartache, every ounce of pain you've ever endured was worth it. It's like she's healing you and wiping away your scars as if they've never even existed.
The cold darkness in your heart has been pushed aside and replaced by her warm light. This moment is everything and so much more. For this moment you're free from it inside your head as well.
"Be careful." She pleads and you know exactly what she's talking about. You hear the tremor in her voice and it causes you to pull away.
"Don't be afraid. Your heart is safe with me." You soothe as you gaze deep into her eyes, trying to bare your heart to her. "This is real... all of it. This is..." You pause but go on when you realize that you both need to hear it. "What I imagine real love feels like."
She gasps "Emma..." She breathes but instead of replying you kiss her again because you still can't get enough.
And she lets you.
You'll discuss your feelings later. Now you just want to be close to her. Need to be close to her.
Neither of you notice the streak of golden blonde hair returning to your head.
Though you do feel the burst of light magic but you're not ready to let go so you can investigate.
You do feel lighter, freer, like yourself. Maybe true love is enough to be freed from the darkness, you think.
Maybe this is enough.
Thanks for reading. Reviews are GREATLY appreciated. :)