Note: This is the second companion piece to "The Backup Plan", and should be read third.

Chronologically, this story would take place after the events of "The Backup Plan". I originally planned to write the whole thing in Natsu's POV, but then it occurred to me that it would be better to have a structure parallel to that of "Saying Goodbye", so I ended up writing the chapter in the title character's POV like in the other companion piece. However, I still wanted the piece to be pretty Natsu-centric, so I needed to come up with a way to accomplish that if I wasn't writing as much in his POV. Then I got this random thought that there were 7 chapters I was planning to write and 7 stages of grief, so now each chapter has two parts: the normal conversation in the title character's POV and a short look at how Natsu deals with each of the stages of grief. I am aware that the stages of grief are something of a misnomer since not everyone goes through all of these stages or goes through them in order, but I think it works well as a literary device.

There isn't such a structured timeline for this piece, but it probably spans a period of a few months. Makarov's chapter, at least, would have to take place months after Gray's death in order to give Natsu time to start coming to terms with what he did. If I don't specifically say when Natsu's part of each chapter takes place, you can assume that it happens either the same day or the day after the first part.

This piece is made up of 7 related one-shots, a "prologue" , and an "epilogue". Each body chapter will have two parts. The first part is in the title character's POV and focuses on how Natsu tries to comfort that person. The second part is in Natsu's POV and shows how he is dealing with his own grief (each chapter will cover one of the seven stages of grief). The order will be as follows: "prologue", Lyon (Shock and Disbelief), Lucy (Denial), Erza (Anger), Juvia (Bargaining), Cana (Guilt), Makarov (Depression), Natsu (Acceptance and Hope), "epilogue".

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story : )

"Prologue"-The Letter

It was the day after the fateful battle that Makarov gave Natsu the letter.

The dragon slayer was sitting at a table in the middle of the eerily quiet guild, the ever-faithful Happy sitting beside him and watching him with worried eyes. Lucy and Erza had tried talking to him earlier, but he had barely spoken a handful of words all day. He wasn't in the mood to talk, and he was starting to wonder why he had even bothered coming to the guild hall at all today instead of hiding at home. Habit, perhaps.

But the others had been understanding about it, realizing that everyone mourned in their own way. Juvia hadn't even shown up today, and the people who had come were mostly quiet or talked to each other in hushed voices that frequently broke as they fought back tears. After winning such a pivotal battle Fairy Tail should be having a party with lots of drinking and laughter, but no one felt like celebrating. Gray's sacrifice had shattered the guild.

Natsu heard footsteps approach and stop beside him, but he didn't look up. Whoever it was could just turn around and walk away. He took a halfhearted sniff at the air, his hands automatically clenching into fists as he recognized Makarov's scent.

"Natsu."

The dragon slayer didn't move for a moment, torn by indecision. On one hand, this was Jii-chan, the man who Natsu looked up to and viewed as a sort of adopted grandfather. On the other hand, he was also the one who had asked Gray to sacrifice himself. Natsu could grudgingly see why Makarov had done this even if he didn't agree with it, but he wasn't ready to forgive it.

Several long seconds dragged by before Natsu slowly raised his head and looked at the guild master with steely eyes. "What?"

Makarov's diminutive figure seemed to wilt even further, and Natsu realized that he didn't look good at all. He seemed to have aged years overnight. His skin was ashen, his eyes were ringed with red, and, for the first time, he looked like a broken old man. Natsu was torn between worry and vicious satisfaction.

"Gray–" Makarov broke off, his voice cracking. He swallowed hard and tried again. "He entrusted this to me. He asked me to give it to you if…if things went wrong."

The master blinked away unshed tears as he slowly extended an arm. Natsu stared at the envelope in his gnarled hand for a few seconds before gingerly reaching out and taking it. He held it warily, as if it might explode at any moment. His name was printed in Gray's unmistakable neat handwriting on the front. Slowly he traced the perfectly even letters with his finger, feeling his heart twist at the sight of these last traces of his friend.

Makarov cleared his throat, and Natsu's gaze slowly travelled back to the older man, his attention temporarily diverted from the letter.

"I can't tell you what to do with that," the guild master said quietly, "but I hope that you can find the courage to read it." He closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled heavily. "He came to me, the night before the fight. He wanted to talk. Towards the end of that conversation I…I asked him if there was anything he'd regret, if worst came to worst and he had to use iced shell."

He faltered again, before gathering himself once more. Natsu just stared at him dully, a sick, nauseous feeling settling in the pit of his stomach.

"He said that he wouldn't regret it if he had to use iced shell in order to protect us. But…He said that if he would regret anything, it would be that he wasn't able to say goodbye to you and the others properly. He also said that he wished you all wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath, but…It struck me, that the thing he was most worried about was not being able to say an honest farewell." Makarov met Natsu's gaze and held it. "I think you should read that letter."

They stared at each other in silence for a long minute. Makarov's eyes held a mixture of sorrow and hesitation and expectation. Natsu felt as if he should say something, but he couldn't seem to make his muscles move, and in any case, he had no idea what to say, or if he even wanted to say anything to this man at all. After a few tense moments, the guild master sighed wearily and turned away.

"I'm sorry, Natsu."

The dragon slayer watched impassively as he walked away, his shoulders hunched as if weighed down by a heavy burden. Several other guild members turned to watch the master's progress as well, their expressions a mixture of sorrow, betrayal, and anger. Natsu watched until Makarov climbed the stairs, went into his office, and shut the door firmly behind him.

"Natsu?"

Natsu tore his gaze away from the unmoving slab of wood and turned back to face Happy. The blue Exceed had inched closer, and was now resting a small paw on the dragon slayer's forearm. His wide eyes shone with grief and worry.

"Natsu, are you alright?"

Natsu hesitated. "I'll be okay, Happy," he answered softly.

"Will you read the letter?"

Happy stared solemnly at the letter grasped in the mage's fist, and Natsu forced himself to relax, not wanting to crumple the only thing he had left of Gray. It occurred to him that Happy wasn't only worried for his sake, but also mourning the ice mage in his own right. The three of them had known each other for a long time, and Happy would be missing Gray as well.

Natsu swallowed. "Happy, why don't you go sit with Lucy for a little while."

Hurt flickered across the little cat's face for a brief moment. "And you?"

"I…I'm going to go home," Natsu whispered.

Understanding flashed in the Exceed's eyes, and he nodded. "Aye sir," Happy replied, but his voice was still sad.

Natsu watched as he flew over to a nearby table to alight by Lucy. The Exceed had barely offered a single word of comfort before the blonde-haired mage grasped him in a tight hug and began crying into his fur.

Natsu let out a shaky breath and looked away. He stood slowly and walked out of the guild. He could feel people staring at his back, but he never turned around. He trudged through the streets like a sleepwalker, paying only minimal attention to his surroundings. His whole focus was on the letter he clutched in his hands. It seemed to be mocking him with the fact that its writer was irrevocably, inescapably gone.

By the time he reached the house he shared with Happy and sat down at the kitchen table, he realized that his hands were shaking. He stared in horrified fascination at the envelope quivering in his hand, and wondered what words he would find when he opened it. What is it that Gray would have to say to him?

Natsu Dragneel was rarely afraid, but as he looked at that envelope, he realized that he was terrified.

He absentmindedly pushed a pile of dirty dishes out of the way, not caring when a plate fell to the floor and shattered. Right now a messy house and broken dishes were the least of his problems.

He carefully placed the envelope on the clear space he had made on the table's wooden surface, and tried to gather the courage to break the seal. What explanations, apologies, excuses would he find in that letter? He had the sudden urge to burn it to ash, but the impulse died as quickly as it had come. This was the last thing—and now the only thing—he had left of his best friend.

So, with shaking hands, he carefully broke the seal and withdrew the folded paper from within. Another letter fell out as well, this one with Lyon's name scrawled across the front in Gray's neat lettering. Natsu stared at it for a moment before turning his attention to the piece of paper in his hands. He unfolded it slowly, and for several long minutes he just stared at it, his eyes hungrily taking in the familiar sight of Gray's handwriting covering the page without trying to decipher it.

Then, taking a deep breath, he began to read.

Natsu,

If you're reading this, then something went wrong in the battle with the demon, and I'm gone. I'm sorry that it came to this, but there's nothing to be done about it now. However, you surely didn't think that I'd pass up the opportunity to make you do what I want, did you? You lost the bet fair and square, so I have something that I want you to do.

Natsu stared at the letter in disbelief, his hand involuntarily tightening into a fist. He blinked at the piece of paper as it crumpled in his grasp, the crisp sheet of paper crinkling around his clenched fist.

What the hell? What the hell did he just read? Gray was dead—dead—and he was going on about some idiotic bet they made the day before the fight? Who the hell cared about the goddamn bet now?

Natsu realized that he was breathing heavily, his heart torn between fury and grief. He forced himself to calm down, taking a series of deep breaths until his rage and anguish subsided a little. He was suddenly struck by a wave of guilt and remorse as he realized that the letter was now crumpled in his trembling hands.

He laid it down on the table's surface and carefully smoothed it out again, desperately trying to return the paper to its once pristine condition even long after he realized it was as flat as it was ever going to get. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to stop his hands from compulsively smoothing over the page.

"Sorry, Gray," he whispered hoarsely, as if the ice mage could still hear him.

He took a shaky breath and steeled himself to continue reading.

I know that it isn't fair of me to ask these things of you, but since I'm no longer able to do them, I need you to do them for me. The bet isn't the only reason, or even the real reason, that you are the one who I'm asking to do this. I'm asking you to help me because I trust you. God help me, I trust you more than I trust anyone else. That's why I'm leaving this to you.

Natsu made an involuntary choking sound, and a solitary tear slid slowly down his cheek. "I trusted you too," he breathed, his voice thick with tears. "I trusted you and then you ran off and used that goddamn spell again, even after I told you not to."

A lot of people are going to be hurt by my death. I know that, and I wish that wasn't the case. God, it hurts knowing that everyone will be so upset because of me, and that I won't be there to help them through it. But since I can't be there for them, I need you to stand in for me. I need you to be strong and look after the others when I can't. There are a few people in particular that I want you to check up on.

First, I need you to go see Lyon. This isn't fair of me to ask of you and I'm so sorry, but please, go to him and give him the news of my passing if he hasn't already heard. I have included another letter in here that is addressed to him. Please give it to him. I didn't have time to see him before the battle, so that letter is the closest thing I have to being able to say goodbye to him. He won't want your comfort, but he'll need it. We've become a lot closer after what happened on Galuna Island, and to be honest, he's something like an adoptive brother to me. He might act tough, but he'll be devastated. I can guarantee that it's going to bring back a lot of painful memories about what happened to Ur, and perhaps about what almost happened on Galuna. He won't want your help, but please, do what you can for him.

After that, there are a few other people I'd like you to look out for. Make sure you look after Lucy. She may not have known me for as long as the rest of you guys, but you know how closely she bonds with her friends. She'll be torn apart, and you're the one who can best help her through that. It's possible that she might feel somewhat guilty if she feels like she was too 'weak' to have done more during the battle, or to have stopped me. If that is the case, kindly beat that silly idea out of her. Metaphorically speaking. Don't actually beat her.

I also want you to talk with Erza. She's one of my oldest friends, and we have a lot of history. We helped each other out a lot when we were younger. You may have realized this by now, but she isn't always as tough as she appears. She's strong, but she hides her pain and tries to bear her problems alone. I don't want her to be alone right now. She shouldn't have to be alone. Go to her and find a way to make her talk to you. If you can't find her, try going down to the river. She often goes there if she wants to be alone or needs to think.

As for Juvia…I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that she'll be devastated. I've tried to make her realize that her happiness doesn't depend upon me and that her life shouldn't revolve around me, but I'm not sure that she quite understands how to do that yet. Until she figures out how to live without me, please look after her. I know that she loves me. To be honest, I half-wanted to be able to return her feelings one day since she went through a lot of heartache chasing after me, but I never quite managed it. However, I do still love her in the same way that I love Lucy or Erza, or any of our other friends. If you need to fudge the truth to give her some comfort…Well, I'll leave that up to your best judgment.

I would also appreciate it if you checked up on Cana. She was the first friend I made in the guild, and I knew her before Erza or you even joined Fairy Tail. We haven't been quite as close over the past few years, but we're still good friends. I know that she'll be hurt, and I fear for her health. Keep an eye on her drinking. Her normal drinking is fine, if excessive, but when she's dealing with problems she can't stand to face, she sometimes drinks until she's completely drunk or unconscious. Over the years I've kept tabs on her so that I could go find her and take her home when she passed out in the streets or got wasted in some sleazy pub, but I won't be able to do that anymore. I'm asking you to do it for me. You can ask Mira about her favorite haunts, and if you don't know where her flat is, you can ask Mira about that too. When Cana gets upset she can easily get herself into dangerous situations, and I would hate it if she got hurt because of me. Please look out for her.

My last specific request is that you talk to Jii-chan. Hear me out before dismissing me and burning this letter. Knowing you, I can guess that you aren't happy with him right now. In fact, you're probably furious. But Natsu, you need to forgive him. He will be hurting just as much as everyone else, and he'll feel terrible because of what he asked me to do. I think it's important for you to realize that I would have used iced shell whether or not he asked me to, if I thought that there was no other way to save Fairy Tail. It's not his fault that I'm gone, but he'll bear the guilt for it. I'm sure you're struggling to figure out exactly what you think of him right now, but give him a chance. I'm afraid that he'll drown himself in guilt, and he shouldn't have to do that because of me.

Natsu slowly dropped his head onto the table and closed his eyes, unable to read any more of the letter just yet. A jumble of emotions swirled through him, and he didn't even know where to begin trying to decipher them. Part of it was grief and longing, knowing that even in the face of his own impending death Gray had worried more about his friends than about himself. The self-sacrificing fool had spent his last hours making arrangements for someone to take care of the others since he wouldn't be able to. But God, why did it have to be Natsu that he asked?

Was Gray really so dense as to not realize that Natsu would be just as devastated as the others? Without realizing it, the dragon slayer made a strangled sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan. How the hell was he supposed to go around comforting everyone else when it felt like his heart had been torn out of his chest and ripped to shreds?

Beyond that…he supposed he felt a little incredulous, a little hurt. Gray had left him this letter and he had been expecting…something. He wasn't quite sure what he had been expecting, but he had thought that since it was addressed to him, Gray would have been talking to him. Instead he was going on and on about how worried he was about everyone else and assigning Natsu tasks left and right. Was it really so selfish if Natsu wanted his best friend to say something to him and him alone?

With a shuddering sigh, he raised his head and peered down at the page once more. The letter was far from finished.

And speaking of anger, I realize that you're probably furious with me too. It's okay to be angry with me, but all I can do now is apologize. I know that you'll be hurt too, and you'll be angry because I used iced shell even after you stopped me last time and after we had that talk a few nights ago. You'll be angry because I went and died for my friends instead of living for them, and because I hurt them by doing so. And I'm sure you're furious that I kept the plan a secret.

Natsu realized that he was grinding his teeth together, and tore his eyes away from Gray's parting words to calm himself once more. Of course he was mad. He was devastated, hurting, mourning, but he was also so furious that Gray had done something so stupid. He was angry because…Well, he was pretty much angry for all the reasons Gray had listed. Even after everything, the ice mage had known Natsu too well.

I wish that I could have been honest with you all, but you know why I couldn't. That talk on the roof…Don't think that it didn't help. No, it didn't convince me to give up on the backup plan, but you helped me realize that iced shell was the backup plan because I chose it, not because you all thought of me as somehow expendable.

I know that this whole incident will remind you of what happened on Galuna as well, but you should know that I did hear your voice back then. Really, I was rather touched when you stopped me from using that spell and said that you didn't want me to die. But at the same time, that incident is what made it inevitable that I would use iced shell again in a situation like this. When you stepped in front of me and I had to watch Deliora's fist come down on you, I was terrified. I'll admit it.

The first time I faced Deliora, it killed my parents. The second time I faced Deliora, it destroyed Ur and drove a wedge between me and Lyon, ultimately tearing apart my second family. The third time I faced Deliora, it just about killed you, and I almost lost my third family.

If the demon hadn't already been dead…God, I thought you were going to die, Natsu. Not because I didn't have faith in your strength, but because I had already seen Deliora's destructive power. Not even Ur could defeat it without using iced shell, and she was a damn powerful mage. In those few seconds I was sure that you were going to die, and I was convinced that it would be my fault. If I had only used iced shell instead of letting you stop me, then Deliora would be sealed again and you and the others wouldn't be in any danger.

Natsu, I almost lost all of you that day. I thought that I was going to lose the people I cared about again, and that's when I realized that I couldn't survive losing my family for a third time. Yes, I know that everyone will be devastated. I know because I've been in their position. I know how painful it was to lose my parents, to lose Ur, to almost lose you and the others. To be honest, I sometimes feel like the ones left behind are the worst off. They're the ones who have to deal with the fallout, the aftermath.

Yes, you have every right to be angry with me. I'd be worried if you weren't angry, at least for a while. But Natsu, I hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me for what I've done. I don't regret using iced shell. Like I said, I'll do anything to protect Fairy Tail because I don't think I could live with myself if I had to watch another family die. But I am sorry that I couldn't be completely honest with you about the backup plan beforehand. I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to look you in the eye and say goodbye, and I'm sure as hell sorry that I hurt you all so deeply. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but it hurts to know that I'm the one who will bring you all such grief. Forgive me, Natsu.

Natsu rubbed at his eyes furiously, as if that would stop the tears. He shook with silent sobs as he dropped the piece of paper and picked up the next one. Damn, Gray had written a lot. He tried to muster up some more of that self-righteous anger he had been feeling earlier, but now he just felt empty and cold and unbearably sad.

Stupid ice block. Of course Natsu was mad. Of course Natsu forgave him.

There is so much more that I could say, so much more that I want to tell you, but to be honest, I think that you probably know most of it already. Even though we don't usually talk seriously about important things, we really do figure them out, don't we? Maybe we don't know all the details, but I'm pretty sure you already understand the big picture. I think you probably know this already, but just to be sure, I want to come out and say it one last time: You, Natsu Dragneel, are my best friend, and have been my best friend for years.

The things I asked of you in this letter…I know that they'll be unbearably difficult for you, but I also know that you'll be able to accomplish them. You're going to have to be strong for the sake of our friends. It's going to be hard, and I'm sorry. But…What I want the most for you and the others is for you all to be able to move on with your lives and find happiness again. Don't worry about me. You still have Lucy and Erza and all the rest of Fairy Tail. The guild has been my family for a long time, and I don't want to see it torn apart because of me. Help put it back together again. Forget the stupid bet. I'm asking you to do this as one friend to another. Please.

This letter just keeps getting longer and longer. Sorry, I know that you aren't much of a reader. But every time I think I've said enough, that I should stop writing, I think of something else I want to say. At this point I think I'm just stalling, postponing the inevitable. There isn't enough paper in the world to convey everything I want to say to you, and it surely isn't the same as if I was standing there face-to-face with you. I suppose that what I'm trying to say, what I keep avoiding saying by continuing to write, is goodbye.

I know that I can't really bring you much comfort through ink on paper, but I wish I could. It's supposed to be the thought that counts, right? It's funny, but my thoughts have mostly been with you all these past few days. You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell you all about the plan, about the possibility that I might not make it back from this fight, if only to have an honest conversation about it. I'll admit that it was pretty lonely at first, being unable to tell you what was going on. I felt isolated and alone because no one else understood what might happen. But at some point, my thoughts turned to Fairy Tail instead. And to be honest, once that happened I realized that I have never before felt so loved. I feel so connected to everyone, like I really, truly belong. Maybe you understand how much that means to me after the conversation we had the other night. It's a wonderful feeling.

No matter what happens tomorrow, I'm not afraid. I'm sorry I won't be there to call you names and get into fistfights and go on missions and stand by you when you need me, but damn, Natsu, I'll always be a part of Fairy Tail. You probably don't understand exactly what I mean by that yet, but I think that you will, one day.

I could keep writing all night and there's so much more I want to say, but I think it's time for me to stop. There is one more thing I want to say to you though: thank you. Fairy Tail really saved me, but you yourself also saved me in more ways than you realize. We had a hell of a lot of fun, and I'll always treasure the time we spent together. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Which is funny to think about, considering how devastated I was after Deliora killed my parent and Ur. Funny how such a beautiful thing can come about despite, or even because of, such a tragedy. And I hope that you too will find something meaningful, something beautiful, even in the wake of my death. You just have to realize that it's not the end of the world, that tomorrow will always come and bring happy things with it, if only you can open yourself to them. And God, Natsu, I want you to be happy.

Thank you for everything, Natsu. Goodbye.

-Gray

Natsu put his head down and sobbed.

Note: I am displeased that there is no "align right" option, because I hate how it looks like Gray signs his letter in the middle of the page -_- Don't mind my OCDness, ha ha. (Edit: I followed advice and made it left aligned instead. It's still bothering me a lot, but I think it might be a little better.) Congrats on making it through that whole long letter.

On a side note, you might notice a lot of common themes and parallels between this piece and "Saying Goodbye". It's mostly intentional. I have something else to say about some of the parallels, but it won't become important until Lucy's chapter, so I'm going to wait on that.

On another completely random side note, I realize that by using iced shell Gray isn't necessarily "dead" in the conventional sense. But "dead" is a lot easier to write than "turned into a block of ice and so might still be alive in some sense if we believe in that", so "dead" it is xD I do occasionally mention that difference, but I'll usually stick with the "dead" terminology.