HINATA CRACK ONESHOTS

CHAPTER ONE: GENHINA

Raidou frowned, plucking a dead weed from the gravestone. His brother's gravestone. He hadn't realized how unkempt these things were until now. The brunette turned his head slightly when a foreign breeze of air swept past him. "Genma." He spoke his name with a smirk.

"Heh, what's up lover?" The senbon user wiggled his eyebrow. "Rookie 9 is throwing a birthday party. Not sure whose it is, to be completely honest."

Raidou stood up and dusted his butt off, the snow had already seeped through his pants, making his ass numb. "Then why do you want to go?" He eyed the man, disbelieving. Genma didn't exactly enjoy parties, as much as his reputation said otherwise. He hated them, actually.

"Well, it's not optional. Tsunade is attending, and she needs a guard. And I don't want to go alone."

"So.. it is optional?" Raidou smirked, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Why should I feel obligated to go? Its some teenagers birthday party for Kami's sake."

Genma shrugged his shoulders. "There's gonna be hot teen girls, not just any civvies." He reminded, patting the guys back.

Raidou sighed, knowing he wasn't gonna be able to wiggle his way out of this. "Whatever." He rolled his eyes and they both left the cemetery.

~(~)~

Hinata slumped into the booth. She was already tipsy, and the burning in her cheeks made it obvious. Kiba was on her right, and Ino was on her left. Why did she have to be turning 18? She cursed under her breath and lifted herself out of the seat. Tsunade was currently shouting vulgar insults at some man who was eyeing her, and it was making Hinata's head spin. She walked outside of the restaurant to breathe in the cool air. The drink in her hand was almost empty, so, before it got hot, she gulped down the rest of the poison and slunk to the ground.

Genma watched with mild interest in the shadow of the building. It was the heiress's birthday, he found out. This was not what he expected from someone in the Hyuuga clan. And when she started to run off, he decided that it was in her best interest that he followed. After all, who would ever fuck with Tsunade? She may not be the Hokage anymore, but that didn't mean that she couldn't kick anyone's ass.

The girl was drunk, also. That, and running away from your own birthday party wasn't something that was good when mixed. Hmm.. maybe she was gonna try to kill herself..

The cold weather was something to reckon with though, that was for sure. He bit his lip to keep from chattering his teeth. Luckily, her Byakugan was distorted, so she couldn't detect him at all right now. Not while she was intoxicated.

She led him back to the cemetery, and he watched as she curled up in front of a headstone and cried. It was painful to watch, seeing as he knew that very feeling. Losing someone and having a gaping hole in your chest, as if someone had gone and struck you with a kunai repeatedly. Personally, Genma would always prefer the Kunai.

The girl was numb from the alcohol, hindering all of her senses. So, as she lay in the snow, he doubted she felt anything.

She wiped the tears away with her sleeve, and looked up at the sky. "Nii-san.. are you proud? I'm the mess you sacrificed yourself for…" She violently pulled her sleeves up and rubbed her arms with snow, turning her paper skin a bright shade of red. Then her face.

"She's having a panic attack…" Genma muttered, watching with mild curiosity.

Her body started to shake and her breathing sounded wracked. Growing more concerned, he got closer and out of the tree's. She screamed out in frustration, fisting more snow in her hands. She was soaked now.

He scowled, and quickly walked up to her. Her trademark lavender eyes didn't even look up. "Shiranui-san.." She mumbled. He shook his head, a small smile on his lips.

"Let's go. I'm taking you to my apartment. You'll be stripped of your title if your father sees you freezing and… drunk as hell."

When she didn't budge, he picked her up.

~(~)~

Hinata found herself in the Jounin's bathroom. He was in his living room, waiting for her to strip and put a towel on. When she walked out in a towel, with her wet clothes discarded on the tile floor, Genma walked in and picked them up with the intention of drying them. He tossed them in the sink for later and sat on the side of the tub, turning the knob.

"Get in." He ordered. He expected her to make him turn away, not that he was even looking, but she didn't. She dropped the towel and stepped into the tub. He avoided looking at her, knowing that she was completely intoxicated, and knowing that she was the same timid girl on the inside. She probably wouldn't remember this tomorrow, though. He got up and grabbed a bottle of gardenia bath bubbles an ex left in his apartment and poured it under the faucet of the bath. He glanced over at the girl, avoiding looking anywhere but her face. Her eyes were blank, and her mouth was open slightly. He'd heard of Neji Hyuuga's sacrifice for Hinata, and it seemed like she wasn't taking it well, even if the events occurred over two years ago.

"Neji died for me… yet... I feel like it should have been the other way around." She murmured. It was barely audible, but he caught it.

He sighed, shaking his head. "I bet he would have kicked himself for not taking your place if you had taken his." He reached to the basket on the shower head and grabbed his shampoo. His cup of water that was on the countertop in the bathroom was soon poured out, and instead, he poured warm water from it onto the girl's head. He gently scrubbed her head with the shampoo, marveling at how silky it was. "Lean your head back."

She didn't say anything, but complied. He poured more water on her head, soaking her bangs. "You're beautiful." He stated. She stiffened at his words.

"Arigatou." Hinata mumbled. The girl was too intoxicated for his taste, so he put it on himself to keep her safe from gossip by bringing her with him. Though, seeing her walk out of his apartment tomorrow.. that would surely start something.

She'd been shivering before, but she was warming up now. He smiled to himself, filling the cup with water and pouring it over her head. Large hands reached over and covered her eyes to keep them safe from the soap. Hinata wasn't aware of anything at the moment. Except for how gentle this man was with her. He hadn't looked at her, either. He was respectable, and here she was, expecting him to take advantage of her due to his playboy reputation. She hadn't budged from her seating in the bathtub, and put all of her trust in him. She would most definitely trust him with her life if it came to it, and knowing he was there to guard the ex-Hokage was enough.

The Hyuuga willed herself to remember this. She needed to. This man… he was interesting.

"You can get out if you like." He stood up, frowning at the wet spot on his leg.

When she rose, it was the first time he had seen her body all night. It wasn't even on purpose. Hinata wanted him to. He averted his eyes, and looked at the knob on the sink instead. "There's a robe on my bed. You can lay down if you like. I'm gonna shower."

Hinata walked out after drying off. She slung the robe on and watched as Genma pulled his flak jacket, and then his shirt off. She licked her lips subconsciously. "Shiranui-san…" She mumbled in all her drunken glory.

The brunette looked at her expectantly. "Hm?" He reached a hand up and pulled his hitai-ate off, tossing it on the couch along with the other articles of clothing.

"Since you… took the time to bathe me…. can I return the favor?" She asked boldly. To say he was shocked would be an understatement.

His mouth suddenly went dry and he didn't say anything for a few seconds. Her face was tinted pink, making him realize she was still very out of her mind at the moment. "You're drunk. I don't want anything to… happen. Not while you're drunk, at least." He chuckled.

"Nothing will happen.. I just want to bathe someone. I've never done that before." She found it surprising that he thought of her as desireable. He had seen her naked. Was his vision distorted? Surely, he'd seen the scar on her rib where Pein struck her with the chakra rod.

He thought for a moment. "I.. It's fine with me. But are you sure? I can tell you're a virgin."

Hinata frowned. "Is it that obvious?" She glared at him, making him laugh.

"Nothing will happen, I know. But I'm just positive you've never seen a naked man."

The frown turned to a scowl. "Strip." She hissed. His eyebrows rose and he started unbuttoning his pants with a shrug.

"I was just saying." He mumbled, defending himself.

Hinata watched him with a strange fire in her eyes. When he was completely naked, she put her hands on her hips and pointed toward the bathroom.

"Get in." Her lavender eyes ordered.

He was shocked she didn't faint after seeing his... Nakedness. Genma shrugged and walked into the bathroom. Hinata watched his ass as he walked away.

She was enjoying this sudden confidence that came with being intoxicated. "What now?" He asked from the tub. She walked in and poured the gardenia soap into the running water. Her now softened eyes looked over at him as he began to relax in the water. The longing feeling between her thighs increased and she willed herself to look away. She couldn't do this to him. He would be accused of rape if he did. Hell, she hadn't even had her first kiss yet! After 18 years of nothing.. She had the right to feel this strange urgency.

She licked her lips again, and lifted up off the side of the tub. "Genma-san.. For my birthday, can I ask you to do something for me..?"

Genma turned to look at her, wondering what was going through her head. "What is it?" He lifted a wet hand and tossed his bangs to the opposite side of his face.

She took a deep breath, calming her nerves. The confidence she'd had moments ago was starting to disintegrate. "You were right before. I'd never seen a naked man. And I've never had sex." She suddenly laughed sarcastically. "I haven't even had my first kiss yet.." He watched her frown, and listened as she continued. "I was wondering if.. When I'm sober, you could take them."

She had surprised him for the third time that night just then. Reality suddenly hit and he smirked at her. "You won't want it once you're sober, Hinata." He said, as if reminding her of something.

She stubbornly shook her head. "I-I... You have treated me with more respect tonight than anyone ever has.. And you've given me feelings that I've never gotten before." Her voice grew more quiet with each word. "I could understand if you wouldn't want to."

Genma frowned and slunk into the tub under the bubbles. "You truly are more oblivious than I thought, Hyuuga."

Hinata whipped around and glared. "Then take it! I-I... My... I.." She frustratingly couldn't form the words, but suddenly she didn't need to. He'd leaned his body up out of the water and gripped the back of her neck, and pulled her into a deep kiss. She felt that strange feeling again and began to melt into his touch. When he pulled away, a stubborn frown formed on her lips.

She untied the robe and slid it off, and Genma had to keep willing himself to stay under control.

She stepped into the tub and looked down at him with an expectant glare. "Shiranui-san. I want you to kiss me again." She mumbled.

He couldn't take it much more, so without thinking, he pulled her down on top of him and began kissing her with more force than before. All the helpless girl could do was beg for more, but even in her state, she knew it was a bad idea. She let her tongue roam around in his mouth, earning a hitch of a breath. The feeling of his... Between her legs was almost too much.

She breathed out sharply again, molding into him like clay.

His lips smirked against her own. "Not tonight, Hyuuga."