I do not own Harry Potter.

Son will be recieving his Hogwarts letter Monday. Whoo!

The Secret Snape

He had always loved her. Would always love her.

Even when he had resented her, thought he despised her for being with . . . him, he had loved her.

Kept locked safe away in his mind and heart the rememberance of the two of them, laying there in the grass.

Children.

Innocent children.

Watching the clouds.

Laughing.

Talking.

With Lily.

Back when it was just the two of them.

Him and Lily.

She was the only bright spot in his lonely, dark existence.

It was why his Patronus was a doe.

Lily's doe.

A beautiful, light hearted, prancing doe.

Because that was the only happy memory he really had.

Him and Lily and the puffy white clouds.

Before it had all gone wrong and she had gone away from him.

To be with him.

And when he had overheard the prophecy and snitched it to Voldemort, he had done so out of sick misery and twisted jealousy.

Deceiving himself that the Dark Lord would hold true and allow Lily to live.

To what end he was sure he had never really believed.

A comfort in her time of grief?

A caring shoulder for her to lean on?

A fool, he had been such a fool.

And when he'd found her dead and gone, he had cradled her precious body.

Rocked her cooling corpse and cried.

And known he would never put down his guilt, his grief.

His love for her.

And gone in search of something.

Punishment.

Redemption.

Judgement.

Death.

Anything.

And Dumbledore had faced him, given him a purpose to continue on.

Protect the child.

Protect the child and stay close to the Dark Lord.

So that the child might live.

Because Lily could not.

And so Severus Snape, for seventeen long years, held true to the memory of Lily Evans.

And tried not to look into the eyes of Harry Potter.

Until the moment of his death.

When he looked.

And saw Lily.

And prayed with his final breath that she had forgiven him.

I never imagined the full story until J.K. Rowling handed it to me. And words still cannot describe it.

RIP, Alan Rickman. You were amazing. I'll keep watching, yes sir. And thank you.