Pairings: (Slash&Het)

(I'm still uncertain about the main pairing... But james/severus and sirius/severus will happen on this fic. I have just finished the second chapter and as I'll be writing all seven years of Hogwarts (not too detailed like day after of Severus days, because that type of fic turns too boring after some time...) so there's still time to decide the main pairing and see how this will go... I'll keep writing and if you take some interest in this fic you can help me and try to find the love that Severus deserves.. :3)

Summary: In his tenth birthday, Severus finds by accident his mother's magical things and wand inside old trunks. However, before this could happen, in the same sad day, Severus loses the faith he had for his parents. So instead of learning magic to encourage his mother to be the witch she forgot she is and finally use magic to get them out of his drunken father's claws, he just secretly learns it to have some small comforts in life. Without knowing, wanting just to change the way he lives and enjoy his life, he changes the fate of the whole world.

A/N: English is my third language, I'm still learning… And I don't have a beta. May god help us all.

A/N2: BUT IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME I'LL BE VERY HAPPY.

CHAPTER ONE

~o~

Severus was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling and counting the number of cracks it had. If new ones appeared since the last time he was in this exact situation, playing a 'game' that has only one rule: "Try to stay in the game for as much time as he could". Well, what he could say? It's a simple game... He only needs to lie down and find the next crack in the walls and ceiling, keep track of the ones he already counted, try not think about how much everything in his body hurts from his last beating, wipe his tears to not blur his eyes to keep counting and try to not lose the game. Because it turns out that the bad part starts when he wins the game and then there's nothing else to do besides lie on his bed feeling the pain in his ribs, the still throbbing ache in his cheeks and the invisible hand squeezing his heart, making him feel empty inside, like there is nothing else to feel beside pain. So losing the game is a good thing because he keeps playing the game again and again from the start, stopping him from thinking of nothing else besides cracks in the walls as there's nothing he could distract his mind with.

When the pain subsides, a few hours later, and he can already feel the numbness overtaking his body and the sleep seeping into brain, is when he finally stops feeling, because by this point he is just so tired… Nothing else matters. When he gets like this, sometimes he ends sleeping for a long while, other times he just lies on the bed, apathetically thinking about his life, thinking about how each day of his sad and miserable life passes without nothing notice worth happening. Of course, his lonely routine is broken most of the time by a few slaps there, a whipping here… A punch, a cane, an insult. It is has no meaning, no explanation, no stopping.

Oh, Severus thought sadly, he had lost the game again with his wondering thoughts. He wants to restart it, but it's becoming hard to concentrate and open his eyes and count the numbers… So many numbers and-

His numb mind is brought back to the present by a familiar scream.

Severus sighs.

So the pain he endured for defending his mother was again meaningless... Why try? Oh, yes the sentiment of trying to defend his mother. Why still have it? They just lead to pain! She never reacts, she never acts or try to escape with him to some better place! Why she keeps living here and makes Severus live here with her?!

Another scream forces him out of the loop of angry thoughts he had wandered again into.

Today is his tenth birthday and it was not celebrated or remembered by anyone besides his own mother. He's sure his father stopped caring after his sixth and his mother trying to cook a decent cake to celebrate after last year disaster. Today, she only gave him a cupcake she bought yesterday and some peppermint candies. Is he complaining? No, the cupcake was sweet and tasty. But is he sad? It is enough to say that sometimes he wishes he could just disappear and never come back… But the question is where to? Where he could go? To the cold London streets? A poor orphanage? To the streets of the wizarding world? Every single option he has thought about leads to a worst life even if it's away from his father.

Even kids who doesn't know they are muggleborns, and still has their bursts of accidental magic, can live with a family who hates magic, because they just don't despise their child completely like he is with his muggle father. Thinking about this, he can only remember of last month, when he went out to walk - he actually went out to think in a place he could escape - he saw a curious scene: two girls, sisters, fighting because one of them is a witch but neither knew or understood. But he's sure that even if the envious little muggle makes the witch's life a living hell he doubt it could be worse than his... At the time, when he was watching the fight, he almost went to the redhead girl to say she was actually a witch and not a freak like the other girl was sputtering. But he didn't bother to do it, his was too shy and awkward for him to try and participate in fights with other people… Well, he did kind of feel guilty over it now. He should have talked to the other girl and explained the little he knew about magic… But as he went to search for her another time in their public school, he saw her with her group of snobby friends and his guilt evaporated just like that.

A door was slammed shut, the noise was loud and it felt near him, so Severus knew for experience that both of his parents are now inside their bedroom. Sighing, he knew it was all right for a few minutes to go downstairs and look for something to eat and make it pass as a diner. Carefully, because it was still a bit difficult to leave his bed, mindful of his hurting ribs, he opened his bedroom's door slowly, paying attention to his parents' voice even if he could only hear the sounds of abuse he wished he could block and never listen to it again.

Going to the kitchen takes much longer than usual, but when he finally gets there, he looks quickly for food. Unfortunately for him, he also takes a lot of time to find at least a small hidden piece of bread and waiting for the water to boil to make a cup of tea, because he was finally leaving the kitchen with his tasteless piece of bread and his hot cup of tea, he heard the familiar sound of his father's heavy footsteps making the steps of the cripple stairs creak.

Thinking fast, not knowing if his father was heading to the kitchen or the living room, Severus runs to the basement door, trying to be careful to not burn his fingers. Opening and closing it as quickly as he could, he almost cried with happiness when the door didn't creak loud, because by rule everything in this house creaks. He almost jumped when his father voice sounded next to the basement's door, awfully close to him, complaining about not having good food prepared for him by his good for nothing wife.

Trying not to listen to his father insulting his mother, Severus looked around himself and found, with the help of the poor light from the kitchen brightening the room, the basement's lamp switch in the small wall that ended just after the first five steps. After switching it on, he went down the stairs being as silent as he could, going further into the badly illuminated room. Blood rushing in his ears and heart drumming, he quickly realizes there's nowhere to hide if his father decides to open the basement's door. So he tries to stay calm, supporting himself on the handrail for a moment before looking for a place he could wait and stay hidden. Analyzing the room, the only good place is beside the stairs where he could almost be safe if father bustles through the door.

But as he makes a turn to look at the place besides the stair he suddenly has a voice in his head ordering him to look somewhere else. Severus frowns at the weird sensation and forces himself to look and keep looking. However, as he attempts to come closer, the voice keeps getting louder and louder until the moment he finally stands in front of the wall and touches it. And just like that, the voice is gone and he can see three ordinary trunks.

Confused for only noticing them now, he tests them a little before sitting on one of them. Well, that's was weird! He shrugs at his imagination and starts to relax a little because thank god he wasn't caught yet. And still had time to grab something to eat before his drunk father came to the kitchen for whatever reason... Besides insulting his mother and complain about the quality of his imaginary food.

Eating slowly, Severus tries to guess for the nth time why he is not allowed to come down here. It's not even locked, he just learned to not come here after a lot of beatings from his father and terrible scolding from his mother. He was not permitted to enter at all until last year and the whole three times he came here was only to help his mother to clean a little of the dust and cobwebs off the room. And he was there just to clean the stair!

So that's why after finishing his tea, he starts to look for something interesting that must be stored in this room. He examines every single thing, but could only find broken chairs, broken things, old clothes, more broken things! He gave up in with humph and went to sit on top of the trunk again feeling cheated.

"Why would mother and father never allowed me in here? There must be something!" Severus complains in a whisper. He looks around the room again just to make sure - and jumps from where he is sitting in realization! "The trunks!"

Severus smirks while looking with satisfaction at the trunks. He's sure he's going to find something good inside them! But what? Severus tries to guess but can't come with any idea… Not wasting any more time, Severus unlocks the first trunk and is greeted by the sight of dozens and dozens of books! But the strange thing is that the spine of the books are the size of a pen! What?! Without thinking twice he goes for a random book, but the moment he grabs the book and pulls it out, the feel of the book and its look does not match at all. It's not until the book is out of the trunk when he sees the size of the booking growing and matching what he feels in his hand!

"Is this a magical book?! It must be!" Severus is so happy he can almost cry! He looks the title of the book and confirms his theory. The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 3. This is his mother's magical books from when she was a student! Putting the book in the same vacant spot, he watches it re-sizes itself in front of his eyes! He gets two more books before he convinces himself that the books have magic and not are just that thin as it appears.

Upstairs in the kitchen, his father shouts with his mother again and Severus winces, remembering why he ended up here in the first place.

Deciding to look at the books later, he'll read every book in that trunk if he can, he goes immediately to look the contents of the next trunk. And as soon as he opens it, he's amazed by all the strange things there are inside it as well ordinary like brushes, mirrors and diaries. He looks at the possible magical things more eagerly, but doesn't dare to touch anything yet so he chooses to grab the most innocent looking of all of them: a rectangular black box. Opening it he sees a black wood twig that is- This is a wand! He has only seen it in two or three glances before his mother hiding it in a much earlier childhood, when his mother still talked about magic. But a beautiful polished wood inside this old trunk in the middle of his mother's magical things… It is definitely a wand!

He grabs the wand carefully with his right hand and as soon as his skin touches the wood, a rush of feelings run through his body, a cold breeze like sensation involving him as in a hug while his heart fills with warmth and his fingertips tingles, making him giggle with glee. All of this during no more than a few seconds but it was unquestionably the best feelings he had ever felt! How his mother could turns away from this to live with a man who despises magic?

Severus takes a breath and tries to think more clearly, running his tongue over his chapped lips, he tries to ponder if it's worth the punishment for his mother finding the wand with him if she looks for it. Well, he can't exactly do magic… As his mother explained briefly to him, the magic he had done in the past is called accidental magic and is different from controlled magic; meaning that for a person to do magic, they have to study to control their "magical core". Whatever could that be?

With the wand still clasped in his hand, he peeks inside the third trunk finding a lot of clothes, some shoes and hats, but nothing too interesting… So he soon closes its lid and promptly return to the trunk with books in it.

He tries to read the titles of the books while they still are in their smaller size, but it's completely impossible. So he chooses again a random book and eagerly reads its title: Beautifying Charms for a Young Witch by Iggy Gergilin. "Ewww, no! Why, mother?!" Severus complains with a disgusted voice. Well, not the best luck with this first book. Putting it back in place, he goes for the next random book: Charms and Spells for Newlyweds without House-Elves: Maintaining a Home by Arcturus Briffin. Severus huffed feeling frustrated, there isn't a single useful book! Not particularly happy about the book subject, he still doesn't put it away and decides to at least skim it a little because House-Elves! What are those? Do elves truly exist?

As he reads the first page, disappointment starts to creep in, because there's no mention of Elves! But after reading the books contents page, he has to admit that most of chapters contains a lot of useful stuff that could be really good to learn… If they are really as useful as they look to be. He reads it again to be sure.

CONTENTS

1. Overview

1.1 Cleansing Previous Magic

1.2 Planning the Usage of Rune Rocks or Self-Sustaining Spells

1.3 Choosing Between Charms and Spells

1.4 Why Using Layers is The Best Option

2. Temperature Control

3. Cleaning

4. Monitoring

5. Organization

6. Solutions for Specifics Rooms

6.1 Kitchen

6.2 Library

6.3 Nursery

6.4 Bedroom

6.5 Bathroom

6.6 Garden

7. Fixing and Repairing

He doesn't want to hope too much, but if he could at least learn to do magic to give some small comforts to his life like keeping his room warm during dire winters… He could be a much happier person.

Leaving the book and the wand in the floor besides where he is kneeling, he searches for more useful books. But after a few lame books, he's already losing track of which books he picked. So instead of picking random books he will work by position order: starting by the top left, he picks the first book and finds The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 1! Holding a happy squeak, because he does not squeak, he puts the good find in his goodies pile. One soon followed by another and few others, he has separated seven books before stopping himself… Because how is he going get all of them to his room and keep them hidden? Seven books is a good start.

Closing and locking the trunks just like he found them, Severus puts the wand inside his pants and with some struggle he holds the pile of books. Walking slowly because his extra charge, he climbs the stairs, switch off the light and tries to peek through the key's hole of the door. Unfortunately, he can't see nothing of the kitchen, only the living room. So he puts the books back on the floor and sit on top of them to wait for his father to leave.

He wakes with a start, looking around for what could have caused the loud sound that woke him up. Finding himself still pressed against the door, he realizes with relief that the source of the noise was his father drunkenly kicking the chairs at the table. A good sign for Severus, because Tobias every now and then likes to kick things before going to sleep.

A few minutes later, Severus finally locks himself in his room and just for precaution hides the books covered by a threadbare sheet under his bed.

This night he sleeps with a smile on his face.

Despite his shattering teeth and frozen bones, Severus wakes up that morning feeling like dancing. Which is odd, because he had never danced in his life. But anyway… Magic! He'll learn magic!

Going downstairs to only drink water and make tea to drink while reading, Severus runs back to his bedroom and cracks open the book containing to spells he's most needed: temperature control.

Reading carefully the whole first chapter of the book, not understanding more than the half of the words and concepts, he reads with double care the second chapter. It's then that he comes across the best and simple spell he can cast in his room: Commodus Esttemperatus. Reading its correct pronunciation then he sees three small boxes that he already knows it shows the movement of the wand.

After repeating the spell out aloud a dozen times and practicing the movements with a pen, Severus feels prepared to cast the spell.

"Commodus Esttemperatus", says Severus confidently while doing the precise movements with the wand, pointing it to the ceiling after casting as the instructions said. And… Nothing happens.

He casts the spell again… And a third time. The fourth time trying to cast the spell he knows it has definitely worked in the moment he points the wand to the ceiling. It's not abrupt, but the temperature raises from its ridiculous near 39°F (4°C) to what's supposed to be: the comfortable room temperature of 70°F(21°C).

Feeling like he could fly, Severus cuddles with the wand in his bed and enjoys the lack of freezing air with glee. He lays lazily in the bed for just a couple of minutes before he gathers courage to pick the book and read it from the start again. The best part of the book is that each mention of a spell or a charm has alongside it the correct pronunciation, intonation and its wands movements.

A couple of hours later when he starts to feel starved and his belly aching, he checks the clock and seeing it's already 2:15pm, way past lunch time, he tucks the wand and books away and go downstairs to see if his mother has prepared something for lunch. Therefore, as he arrives in the kitchen and sees it in the same state since last night, a statement that his mother hadn't even left her room, he tries not to feel too much disappointment and goes to fix something for himself. His only consolation is that he's going to test a charm he read about it in the book: Engorgio. Although in the book it was used as example to enlarging fruits for decorations purposes, he wonders if he can cast it in one of the butter cookies and make it huge!

He explodes two cookies.

And only having two other cookies left and a dry toast to eat with a cup of milk, he forces himself to really concentrate on the charm and not give up... Or he'll be hungry until dinner. Using his mind eye to create a huge cookie, he focus on this visualization as he casts the charm a third time. It works!

Severus is extremely pleased with himself as he looks at his mouth-watering watermelon sized butter cookie! Without reservations, but still not sure if it will be tasty, he grabs it with his two hands for support and bite a large chunk. The sweet cookie melts in his mouth and is as delicious as the original cookie!

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Severus chanted almost deliriously as he keeps eating his tasty and giant cookie! He giggles feeling so much like the ten years old he is but sometimes forgets.

It's definitely the best day of Severus life.

Did you like it?

I had the idea of this fic because I wanted to make Severus a much happier person. As you can see he still has a shitty childhood, but I wanted to present magic to him like something too awesome to use it to fuel his hate for his father and muggles. Putting myself in his place I thought that the first thing I would try to use magic to have some comfort or even more food... So this is the result. He will not be flowers and sunshine... But less bitter and sad. He's still be sorted in Slytherin for a reason.

That cover picture of the fic is from marinamichkina, she has beautiful works and I adapted one of them to make this. Check her work out if you can!

Bye!