I wake to darkness, the slight glow from the machines illuminate some of what surround me. The harsh and obnoxious beeps coax my mind into becoming aware of my situation; adrenaline pulses through my veins.
Where am I? Am I still on Starkiller base, on a torture table? I move my wrists and ankles: no restraints. Am I at the resistance's base? Am I somewhere else because the First Order succeeded in destroying the Ileenium system? These thoughts briefly skim across my mind; for a moment I stare into the darkest corner of the room, until another question slams through my mind and I feel an enormous weight arrive with it: Where is Rey? The weight pushes on my chest as I struggle to breathe; most importantly is she alive? The beeps become erratic. I can feel an uncomfortable, sickening emptiness in my stomach and I'm afraid I'll be consumed by it. I slowly shut my eyes, concentring on regulating my shallow breathing and thinking of ways to escape. I twitch my fingers and my toes; I am becoming steadily more irritable. I roll my shoulders to release the tension, my eyes fly open as pain surges down my arm and across my chest; I take a few deep breaths and wait for my eyes to adjust to the dim light, then I move down my medical gown to vaguely see the mismatch of slowly healing skin from the cauterised injury Kylo Ren had given me. I must be in the hands of the resistance for the First Order would not be as forgiving as to patch my wounds. I pull the gown back up. Once the ache subsides I press my hands against the bed and try to push myself into a sitting position. A tight, stretching sensation spreads from my spine along every inch of my body; the memory of his lightsaber dancing through the skin on my back causes my hands to become weak and I slowly lower myself back against the bed. Throbbing sensations ripple through me. I stare into the darkness until my body succumbs to a dreary sleep.

Gun shots echo through the trees and Kylo Ren stops them all. Out of frustration and anger he lifts her from the ground without touching her, I watch helplessly as he throws her into the canopy of the trees. Rey's scream seeps its way into my bones as her back collides with the trunk of a tree and she falls silently and horrifically fast to the forest floor. I find myself at her side before my mind had time to catch up. I throw myself to me knees beside her; snow drifts down from the tree without a sound, coating her motionless body. I collect her delicate, pale face in my cold hands and look at her peaceful expression.

I awake but do not open my eyes. I am unable to pinpoint exactly how I feel; for the mixture of emotions creates an empty feeling inside of me, and it is making me dizzy.
I squeeze my closed eyes tightly, hoping the image of Rey's unconscious body will be erased from my memory.
After what seems like an hour I finally open my eyes and take in my surrounding in the morning light. The room is white, and on the walls are numerous weights and equipment for physical training. I turn my head to the right so I can look at my burn, then I notice Poe smiling widely at me sitting in a chair next to my bed.
"Where is Rey?" Poe's smile fades and I close my eyes, the emptiness grows.
"Good to see you too," his sad tone full of mockery, I look at him again, and a sly smile plays on his lips. I decide I'll return to the question soon.
"Sorry, yeah It's good to see you," I ignore the pain as I extend my arm to shake his hand, he grips it lightly and holds it for a moment before placing it beside me on the bed.
"Careful of that shoulder," his nods slightly looking at me with concern, "The doctors have slaved over repairing you. They won't be happy if you tear it all up -" his grin returns and I can't help but smile too, "I even suggested strapping you to the table so you wouldn't be able to escape," Poe's happy laugh floods the room but I assume he wasn't joking when he suggested it.
"How long have I been here for?" I ask,
"Four days,"
"Four?" I sigh deeply.
"Today is the fifth day. Chewie got you out, you're at base now,"
"So they didn't destroy the Ileenium system?" I ask, Poe shakes his head
"I got to them first, buddy," he boasts, I smile, for a moment, then it dawns in me: if Chewie got me out what happened to Rey, was she still on Starkiller base when it imploded, or was she already dead before that? Chewie could have at least got her body; I feel anger bubble, how could he save me but not her.
"Is Rey dead?" My voice is a deep rumble and I notice Poe's expression slip into one of caution.
"She didn't leave your side," he takes a deep breath, so I interrupt
"That doesn't answer my question," I whisper, feeling guilty for pushing my anger towards him.
"She's alive," that almost isn't enough, so Poe reassure me further, "Rey is fine," I inhale sharply and as I breathe out I feel the pressing weight on my chest dissipate and I relax into the stiff bed, "She didn't sleep or eat, worried if she took her eyes off you, you'd disappear," Rey was in this room and I didn't even know, I feel guilty, but my relief outweighs it. I then wonder why she wasn't next to me now.
"Where is she, I want to see her?" I whisper quietly
"She's gone -" I interrupt immediately
"Gone? Gone where?" I press, wanting to sit up, but I know I will only fall back in pain. Poe sighs in exasperation, obvious frustrated that I keep interrupting.
"She's gone to find Luke Skywalker, she left two days ago, I-" he takes a quick breath "I don't know when she'll return..." I can hear the apprehension in his answer; I don't want him to be afraid I'll lose my temper at him.
"Thank you for telling me," I smile slightly before running my left hand through my short hair and sighing deeply.
"No problem, I have to go, it's pretty busy day today; I'll see you later." With a small nod he quietly leaves the room, leaving me with my thoughts.