A/N: This story is set a few months after the first Avengers movie.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.

Behind the Tears of a Clown

After yet another successful mission, Steve decided that the team deserved and needed some time for relaxation. Tony had wanted to invite them to that nice Italian place he loved (the only real Italian place in New York according to his mother), but Steve had rejected his proposal saying that it seemed unfair to Tony that he ended up paying for their food every time. No matter how much he protested and insisted that he did not care about money as long as the food was worth it, and that he did not mind paying for their meals (he actually liked taking care of his team; outside of technology, money was the only thing he had ever been able offer to any kind of personal relationship, and seeing them well-fed and content was all he wanted), but Steve had politely blown him off.

Now they were walking into a bar that Clint liked. Apparently, they served great burgers at a good price as well as lots of entertainment including Stand-Up Comedy Night every Friday, which was today.

The entire team (with the exception of Thor who was still in Asgard) was excited, even Natasha seemed positive about the outing (that was about as far as Tony could categorize her enthusiasm), Clint looked gleeful, Bruce seemed a bit unsure about entering a club with so many people but was otherwise curious, and Steve smiled brightly when he saw the sign about tonight's event commending Clint's suggestion. Tony… He was a professional at quick verbal sparring and smooth replies with years of practice, with the ability to face off any nasty reporter, sly businessman or crafty politician that crossed his path. He had partied with important stars and starlets of Hollywood; he knew all of the Rich and Famous, but there was one guild that he could not win against, and he knew it.

Comedians played a crowd not unlike he could; Hell, he had used such techniques to face off rivals multiple times in the past (Hello there, Mr. Hammer, Senator): make the audience laugh about the ones you antagonized. It was so easy and incredibly efficient. However, Tony also knew his limits. He knew how to play in the crowd's favor, but in general, they preferred witnessing him getting his ass kicked by his betters, because people ultimately believed that he had to be taken down a peg or two. He had tried to go against comedians in the past, and he always lost; in the end, he was the one people laughed at.

Having learned his lessons and simply too vary from today's fight, he decided to keep a low profile as they entered the club.

For the first hour, everything went well; they had a few laughs both from the show on stage as well as from standard group antics, and the burgers were indeed fantastic. However, it all changed once Steve left to get some more beers and the crowd started to cheer enthusiastically. Tony looked up and saw a young white male in his mid- to late twenties stepping onto the stage. He bowed exorbitantly and the crowd's cheers intensified.

"That's Chris Meyer. He owns the club," Clint whispered, "not financially, but he rules the place whenever he's on stage. People think that he'll get really big one day. No topic too controversial, but always funny. Great comedian."

Steve returned with five beers that he skillfully carried in his right hand and was just about to sit down when Meyer's eyes were suddenly on the tall man.

"Bless my soul, is that…? Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a true hero in our midst tonight: Captain America!" All eyes followed the comedian's gaze until the settled on the table they occupied. "This is an honor, sir, thank you for coming here tonight! Do you have anything to say to the crowd?"

Steve was sharp and quick-witted when he felt comfortable (Tony and him were regularly exchanging barbs) or for after-mission interviews, but he was hopelessly lost when put in the spotlight like this.

"Uh…"

"True eloquence!" Meyer exclaimed making the audience laugh. "That should teach you whenever you assume that there is more brawns than brains to that guy."

Steve's cheek colored and the tall man ducked his head slightly. The moment Tony wanted to stand up and help his friend out, Meyers let off of him and told a random story that made people laugh. Tony started to relax.

Until…

"Anthony Edward Stark," Meyer's eyes lit up in sheer delight and Tony felt his stomach drop. He was trapped underwater, and the sharks had just smelled the blood. "How grand of you to honor us with your presence!"

The audience started to whisper and gesture at the table full of heroes, and Tony watched Bruce out of the corners of his eyes because he feared that the man might get a little too tense with all the attention.

"And here I thought you only ate caviar for breakfast."

The opening was almost kind, but Tony had been around predators his entire life. He knew this was only the beginning. He decided to indulge though, "Well, it's evening, so…"

"That's right!" Meyer exclaimed almost jumping up and down in excitement recognizing this glorious opportunity. "Tony Stark, everybody: the only celebrity with a mortal fear of can openers." The crowd laughed. "The Merchant of Death; according to innumerable fine women all across the world, the Merchant of the Little Death as well, or la petite mort as the French would say."

Tony smiled forcing himself to chuckle. He hated the moniker, had hated it long before Afghanistan, only he had not known its true meaning until then.

"Tony Stark, who, if he went by the tradition of naming his children on the day of conception, was forced to call them Chlamydia and Syphilis."

The blow was not as low as Tony had expected, but it looked like Meyer was in it for the long haul. The comedian gave the audience a moment to recover before he decided to let the billionaire off the hook a bit.

"No, seriously, Mr. Stark, it's an honor to have you here. It's like having a prince among us who decided to step down from his High Tower of Ugliness."

Tony heard Steve suppress a chuckle and looked at the man. He remembered Cap's comment (of course he did, he never forgot conversations no matter how much he would like to), but he had thought that by letting the team set up their camp (home) there, they would start to appreciate it a bit more.

Steve looked sheepish at his own reaction however and Tony smiled because the other man obviously tried.

"Have you guys seen that tower? How could you not as it's been put right in front of our fucking faces?" Meyer continued by firmly pressing his hand on his face making a nasal sound to imitate a broken nose. The audience howled with laughter. "It will go right down with the great monuments of the past. I can see it in the history books: the Great Pyramids, the Wall of China, the Louvre and Stark Tower."

He was good, Tony had to admit, laughing along; he was not outstanding, but good, working extremely well with voice, gestures and a dry wit. Put that together with the reputation he obviously had, and he was bound to give his crowd a fabulous time.

"I bet Stark is so rich, he keeps mistaking his hundred-dollar bills for one-dollar bills." At that, Clint laughed because that actually happened once. It was not like Tony paid in cash all that much and he had not paid attention that day. So what if he tipped the ice-cream place by 1000%? It was not like he cared. Meyer noticed Clint's reaction and there was a decidedly unholy gleam in his eyes after that. The shark was now circling its prey. "He is so rich that he would buy you a bar if you said you were thirsty."

The entire team chuckled. That also happened only once, but they'd refused to serve the Hulk, so what was he supposed to do?

"Captain America, sir, did Stark ever offer you armor?"

There was a moment of silence and Steve replied, "Well, better suits, yes."

"Just make sure you check the thing for repulsor beams first, or you might get flung across the room."

The engineer had to give it to him. The man had certainly done his homework. His team laughed, clearly remembering the gadgets that he had supplied with the gear he had made for them.

"Is it true that Iron Man is as chatty as Tony Stark?" the comedian continued, "Because if that is correct, you are all true superheroes: Listening to the man blabbering away while killing the villains instead of trying to shut him up… Now that's truly heroic."

The others laughed, of course. How many times had they told him to shut up on and off missions? He had stopped counting ('243 times,' his brain supplied unhelpfully).

"I mean, nobody denies that the man is a genius, right? After all, to create something as marvelous as the Iron Man suit after having destroyed more than half of his brain cells with drugs and alcohol is astonishing."

Now, he was getting more vicious, but Meyer treaded carefully, obviously having no wish to antagonize the rest of the team.

"But God, the man just won't shut up!" the stand-up comedian continued. "I feel sorry for his CEO and former PA Virginia Potts." Tony's stomach flip-flopped oh-so-painfully. "Dealing with such enormous egotism, and extrovert exhibitionism every hour equals excruciating exhaustion. And that was alliteration, Ladies and Gentleman," Meyers spoke over the snickers and applause. Tony refused to look at Natasha; he knew that she was smiling.

"Speaking of exhibitionism, have you seen the images from that gigantic Stark Christmas Party in 2010?" It took all of the billionaire's willpower not to freeze, and his heart was beating far too fast. He remembered that party. He glanced at Steve and wished he had not. The man's face was red from embarrassment. Of course, Meyer did not miss that reaction either. "Ohhhh, I think Captain America has seen the photos." The audience roared. "It must be weird to work alongside a man who has been in every position imaginable. At least you don't need to question his flexibility in battle." Again, people laughed, but Tony did not bother this time. He just wanted it to be over. Steve looked mortified, but he still smiled at the engineer as if hoping to cheer him up. "However, you might just want feed him some bleach at some point and put him into a decontamination shower, just so you can pad him down without catching something."

Bruce stood up abruptly and the audience fell silent in the middle of ongoing hysterics.

"Guys, we've got to go. The Other Guy is not pleased," Bruce whispered harshly, but there was a deep, growling quality to it that was slightly menacing; he looked simultaneously panicked and eerily calm.

Yes, it was high time to leave. Tony put a hand on Bruce shoulder to pacify him, but the other man's reaction was so quick and vicious, the engineer took a step back. He was not afraid of the Hulk, he refused to be, but it was obvious that Tony's presence brought his friend's other personality too close to the surface and they were in the middle of the crowd, so Tony took himself out of the equation by taking the lead in leaving the place.

Not before taking a exaggerated bow to the audience, though.

If you were treated like a clown, you better behave like one, or people would tell you that you had no sense of humor.

A/N: I like humor and I like comedy, but it can be vicious at times and it can go several steps too far. And laughter is something you cannot really defend yourself against without being called spoilsport.

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