What if we met again unexpectedly?

"Tooru?"

Oikawa looked up from his book, bleary-eyed from the sway of the subway. That voice made him feel a pang in his chest. He blinked a couple of times, and then realised who it was. The person's shoulders were broader, hair freshly cut—the way it never had been when they were younger, and he had a navy three piece suit on. But it was undeniably Iwaizumi.

"Iwa...Iwaizumi." Oikawa coughed. He had stopped himself from calling out his old nickname with too much desperation. Was that disappointment he saw in Iwaizumi's face?
"It's been a while huh?"

What if we are forced to talk like strangers, even though it had once been him that I knew better than anyone in the world?

"Yes...yeah, it has. So what have you been up to these past four years?" Was Oikawa smiling normally? Was he pretending to be okay well enough? Could Iwaizumi still tell when he was upset?
"Not much; doing my graduate degree, and interviewing for part-time jobs." Iwaizumi said, gesturing to his get up. "This isn't really my style."
"No, it looks good." Oikawa felt a lump in his throat. The suit really fit well with Iwaizumi's personality. Clean. Straightforward. From the fugitive glances girls were casting at Iwaizumi, he assumed—not without a twinge of annoyance— that they felt the same. It was funny, how Iwaizumi never realised his own appeal. Back in middle school, although Oikawa was flashier, it was blatantly obvious to him that Iwaizumi was popular. And it wasn't as if he couldn't see why.
"Thanks. So what about you? What brings you back to Tokyo?"
"You know...I'm actually transferring to Tokyo for my graduate." Oikawa grinned lopsidedly. A couple girls giggled.
"Some things never change...but I'm glad you're back." Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at them, then fixed a warm smile at Oikawa. One that had rarely been shown to him. One that Oikawa had always tried and failed to earn. Was that all it took? Pretending to not be in love with him anymore?

What if it still hurt?

Oikawa smiled back, his heart shattering into a million pieces. "Yeah. Me too."
They stared at each other in silence for a while. Oikawa wanted to cry. He knew that neither of them would bring up how Oikawa had confessed back at the end middle school. They wouldn't bring up how he had ignored Iwaizumi's texts, emails and calls for the past for years. They wouldn't bring up how Oikawa loved him. They would try to pick up where they had left off, and fail. Iwaizumi cleared his throat. "Um, are you still seeing Ushijima?"
Oikawa blinked in confusion, before remembering that match against Iwaizumi four years ago. How he had stuck to Ushijima's side to try and make him jealous. How Iwaizumi seemed unfazed. How Oikawa had decided then and there to give up for good. "Oh, I think you might've misunderstood. We were never together."
"Really?" Iwaizumi's face lit up, like it did the first time he had played volleyball.

What if all it still took was him to smile for me to feel better?

"Yeah. What about you? Anyone special in your life?" Oikawa felt a tug in his chest, so familiar. He had tried dating a lot of people at university. Anyone who asked him. But no one, no matter how much he liked them, could make Oikawa feel the way he did when Iwaizumi just smiled. In hindsight, even those he had felt fond of reminded him of Iwaizumi is some fashion.
"No. Not since you." Iwaizumi lowered his voice, but it was unnecessary. The train was empty, from the late hour of their journey.
Oikawa felt his pulse beat out of control. He must have misheard something. "What?"
"No, nevermind." The robotic voice announced the next stop, and Iwaizumi stood. "Well, this is my stop."
"Oh, okay. Nice seeing you again."
"Yeah...hey, want to grab drinks sometime? Catch up a bit?"
"Um...no. Sorry, Iwaizumi. I...I can't."
"I understand." Iwaizumi nodded, obviously hurt, and began to walk away. "Well, if my word is worth anything anymore, I'm sorry."

What if I still love him?

"Wait! Iwa-chan!" Oikawa shouted, just as the subway doors began to close. "I never changed my phone number!"
Iwaizumi looked surprised, but Oikawa couldn't hear his reply. Almost instantly, his cellphone buzzed.

Thank you. I'll call you soon.

Please do. I'm free this weekend.

There were so many what ifs that had been haunting Oikawa since Iwaizumi left his side. But at least now, he had answers to some of them.