"High off her love, drunk from her hate,
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love her the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me and I love it.
"Wait! Where you going?"
"I'm leaving you!"
"No you ain't. Come back."
We're running right back.
Here we go again."

– Eminem, Love The Way You Lie"

Bonnie headed straight to the bar, her walk a determined, angry stride. It was New Year's Eve, half an hour till midnight, so the club was packed, crammed with people dancing and screaming and drinking; it was impossible to move without knocking into someone or tripping over a handbag and yet people seemed to make a path for Bonnie to get to her destination unhindered. Maybe she was doing magic without realizing it. Or maybe anyone and everyone around her could sense her fury, feel it in their chests like it was their own anger ready to tear them apart and they just wanted to get as far away from Bonnie as possible so the feeling would go away.

She slammed her hands down on the bar. "Six shots of vodka. Double."

The bartender looked at her. "Getting some for your friends?"

"Does it look like I'm with any friends?"

"A pretty girl like you must have some pretty friends."

"Nope," said Bonnie curtly. "Not tonight. Six shots. Vodka. Double."

"Listen, six shots of vodka —"

"I know my limits."

"Congratulations but the law—"

"Pour," said Bonnie through clenched teeth. Stacked glasses shattered behind the bartender and he flinched violently, turning around to see what happened. Bonnie closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing. She knew she would take down the entire club if she didn't reign in her emotions. When she opened them again, she saw the bartender looking supremely doubtful but taking six glasses out from beneath the counter all the same while a waitress started clearing away the broken glass on the opposite counter.

He drizzled the liquor into the shot glasses and Bonnie downed each one in quick succession to raucous applause from an audience she didn't know she had. She bit into a lime, sucking the sour juice, relishing the harsh warmth the vodka slicked down her throat and that burned deep in her belly. She felt hazy. Balmy. The effect of the liquor felt good. And yet it did nothing to snuff out the image she'd kept replaying in her mind all night; did nothing to soothe the anger that made her skin hum with terrible intensity. If anything it just brought it all into sharper focus.

Kai.

Stupid fucking Kai.

Bonnie knew that Kai fed. She knew that when Kai fed, he killed — his appetite was insatiable, she'd experienced that firsthand, and quenching his hunger for even a moment required more than one bite or even one body. She had never seen Kai feed but she always imagined it to be brutal, impersonal in its savagery, a means to an end and whatever sick enjoyment he gleaned from it was all in the death itself, all in the power that came with taking a life. That was what he'd described whenever she'd allowed him to say five words about his exploits before her conscience screamed at her which in turn made her scream at him to shut the hell up about it all. He only thought of two things when he'd fed. Blood. And her. Everything else was just necessary mess. That was what he'd said time and time again.

But that wasn't what Bonnie saw when she'd shown up unannounced at Kai's house earlier that night. What she saw was seduction. What she saw was intimate. Kai feeding from a brunette. No, not feeding. Whispering. In her ear. As he stood behind her, one hand on her chest, the other caressing her arm.

"I do," the girl whispered; the tears brimming her eyes were betrayed by the longing in her voice. "I want to die."

Bonnie heard it. The way Kai sighed. She saw it too. How his veins darkened his face, how his fangs descended slowly and then he sunk into her, languidly gorging himself on her neck, grunting in satisfaction. Bonnie felt everything within her still, like her entire body hardened with rage. And then something, she didn't know what, compelled Kai to look up. When his eyes locked with hers, Bonnie's first instinct was pain — was to cause him pain. She wanted to set Kai on fire, force a never-ending aneurysm on his brain, calcify his body, initiate desiccation but she couldn't move. She could only watch, these intentions to cause harm screaming within her as she stood completely immobile, almost like rock.

Until he'd said her name.

"Bonnie…"

She stormed out then, windows bursting and floorboards breaking apart in her wake, the house crumbling within itself as she backed out the driveway. It was the second house he'd squatted in that she'd destroyed.

She hated it.

She hated him for it, hated herself for it, hated life for it but it didn't change what she felt. It was — she was — there was no word for the kind of possessiveness she experienced, for the betrayal that stung her. Kai had wanted that girl's death in a way Bonnie thought he only wanted hers. He was tormented with a hunger for Bonnie's blood, for her body, for her very self that was so overpowering, so maddening that he would literally kill her if she ever allowed him unlimited access to her, unlimited access to his craving for her. He was cursed with desire for her, that was what he'd always told her, that was what she'd always experienced when they were entwined together, when he struggled to withdraw his fangs from her neck or her chest or her thigh, when the pleasure she caused him drove him to start fires and break beds and smash walls; lust and blood … the intimacy of death, it was supposed to be theirs, it was supposed to be hers. It ripped Bonnie to shreds, tore her apart with guilt that she couldn't stand to see him share a fraction of that with someone else when that someone else would be dead through no cause of her own, when that someone else didn't ask to meet Kai Parker but simply had the misfortune of coming into contact with him, of catching his eye.

Like me.

It was a horrible feeling, to be so sickened with herself and yet so overcome with jealous rage that the disgust almost didn't matter. Nothing mattered to Bonnie, not New Year's Eve, not finding her friends, not celebrating, nothing except the obsessive, urgent need to get even; it was a need that consumed her to the point of physical aching. She'd felt it the very moment she'd seen Kai with that girl and her mind immediately turned to Damon.

Bonnie had set off looking for him the instant she'd left Kai's house, feeling a vicious satisfaction at the sheer devastation Kai would suffer if she so much as initiated a kiss with Damon. All of his worst insecurities, worst fears, worst nightmares realized in one simple action and it would break him. Completely. Irrevocably. An image that would always, consistently, forever torture Kai and the thought made Bonnie laugh cruelly.

But … but … but …

If she went down that road, she knew Damon would be broken too and something held her back from causing him that kind of fracture. Her relationship with Damon was an ever-changing one, never consistent, never reliable and yet it meant something to her that she couldn't pinpoint. Their bond wasn't a romantic one but it wasn't platonic either; the palest shadow of tension was felt in their gazes, in their touches — a vague undercurrent of longing that tinted every one of their interactions but held no real power, no true significance. Bonnie never felt the need to dig up that undercurrent and see where it led, to see it resolved in a kiss or a fuck but it did inspire protectiveness in her and loyalty and so now she had to protect Damon from herself, from what she felt for Kai and the kinds of things it would make her do.

But still, she had to get even.

And that was why she had gone to a nightclub on New Year's Eve. The potential was endless.

"If it isn't the Bennett witch and all of her friends."

Bonnie turned to Enzo as he walked up to the bar and stood next to her, a bottle of champagne in hand. He took a large swig.

"And if it isn't Damon 2.0," said Bonnie smiling unkindly.

"Oh please, if anything Damon is a poor man's version of me," said Enzo. "I dress better, I'm funnier, better looking —"

"The only thing you've got going for you is the accent. You're really not all that cute," said Bonnie, taking the bottle out of his hand and guzzling down some champagne.

"Did anyone tell you you make for a terrible drinking buddy?" said Enzo.

Bonnie regarded him as she took another swig of the champagne bottle; he was staring at her intently even though he was trying to pretend otherwise, a smirk itching at the corner of his mouth. She handed the bottle back to him and he kept his eyes on her as he took a gulp from it. Bonnie chewed on the inside of her lip. He really wasn't that bad-looking. OK fine. He was good-looking. Hot. Dull but pretty. And a vampire. And way experienced. He wasn't Damon but Bonnie knew being with Enzo wouldn't be something Kai could just shrug off; it would eat away at him, it would make him question.

"You know they say that the way you spend New Year's Eve is the way you'll spend the rest of the year," said Enzo.

"What's your point?" said Bonnie.

"You really want to spend New Year's Eve alone?"

Bonnie grinned. She didn't even have to try. "And how are you going to rectify the situation for me?"

Enzo turned around so that his back was leaning against the bar. He looked from Bonnie up toward the balcony lounge that was kept empty for after midnight and then he looked back down to her. Bonnie looked at the lounge, considering its merits; it was high above the dance floor, so high you had to crane your neck to see it and for the next twenty minutes it would be empty. She took the champagne bottle from Enzo for a second time and then walked away from the bar, maliciously vindicated in what she was about to do.

Bonnie climbed up the steps and when she reached the landing, she moved to walk further onto the balcony with its plush velvet couches and gigantic crystal chandelier but Enzo took her wrist and guided her back to the wall next to the staircase, putting his hands on either side of her face, kissing her squarely on the mouth. Instinctively, Bonnie put her hands on his neck as she kissed back.

It wasn't bad. Forceful. But forceful in the way that men who think they're exceptional kissers but are really only average are, and by her standards, by what she'd become accustomed to, he was mediocre. Enzo's mouth started opening hers and Bonnie allowed his tongue access to hers, thinking dimly that if he were Kai he would want her breathless, want her writhing and moist just from a kiss.

Enzo pulled away. "You taste amazing."

Bonnie laughed and brushed her lips to his ear. "You have no idea."

Enzo groaned and started kissing her neck, circling his hands around her waist, bringing her closer to his body. Bonnie closed her eyes and was stricken with the image, with the memory of Kai's tongue trailing the underside of her chin. She panted then squeezed Enzo's shoulder. Another memory. Her hands clenching Kai's hair as he nuzzled her between her breasts, his mouth enclosed on one of her nipples. Bonnie pressed her lips together to keep from crying out and Enzo slipped his hands beneath her shirt and —

It was sudden and instant. Bonnie felt it. No. It couldn't be. It was just because she was thinking about … he didn't even know …

But she felt it.

Even with Enzo's mouth on her, even with his groans in her ear, Bonnie's skin flushed, her fingers tingled, her heart punched against her chest so hard and fast it felt like it was going to shatter her ribcage.

Kai.

He was there. Right there. Bonnie's body never lied when it came to sensing him and it was reacting in a way unique to his presence. She could feel his mood, feel his wanting, feel his —

The punching in Bonnie's chest intensified into a hammering that made it nearly impossible to breathe.

This was beyond anger. Beyond rage and fury and wrath. This was murderous. Bonnie didn't have to open her eyes to know that Kai was beside himself, almost outside himself with violent frenzy; his temper electrified the air, affecting even the music, causing inexplicable skips and warps and pitch changes in the songs, and Bonnie revelled in it, in getting even, in inflicting the same anguish he'd caused her. Ignoring the fatal pounding in her chest, she held Enzo tighter around the neck and rubbed her body against his, encouraging him to brush his lips down to her chest, his hands moving away a bit of her dress so his lips could tickle more of her skin. Bonnie heard something below crack or pop like a small explosion, the crowd was beginning to get restless. Deliberately, she opened her eyes, moaning loudly as Enzo's tongue found its way between her cleavage, her gaze instantly meeting Kai's glare. She stared at him as she pressed her lips next to Enzo's ear again, gently tugging on his earlobe with her teeth.

"Enzo…" she whispered, making her voice husky. "Enzo, bite me."

Enzo didn't get a chance to respond. There was a blur of colour and Kai was suddenly dragging Enzo away from Bonnie, throwing him down on the floor, making the tile crack apart. He grabbed Enzo by the shirt and started pummeling him, his ringed knuckles crashing into Enzo's face over and over and over again so that blood started to spatter on his fist, on his clothes, on the floor.

Punch. Enzo's lips on Bonnie's. Punch. Bonnie's hands all over Enzo's body. Punch. Bonnie's moan against Enzo's neck. Punch. Bonnie whispering for Enzo to bite her.

Kai yelled, a guttural, animalistic sound deep in his throat that caused the lights to flicker wildly. He rammed his fist harder into Enzo's bloodied face, over and over, the obsessive attempt to rid himself of what he'd seen urging him to hit harder, to break Enzo and to do it as Bonnie watched. He couldn't get it out of his head: Enzo all over her, the way she relished his touch. This was nothing, nothing compared to the visions of Bonnie and Damon that inflicted Kai's imagination because those weren't real, this was; she and Enzo were, and it was unbearable. She was his. She was his. She was his!

GODDMAMIT BONNIE.

Kai let out another yell but Enzo managed to block Kai's blow. He swiftly kicked Kai in the chest so that he flew back to the other side of the room and knocked into one of the sofas. Enzo sped over and choked him but Kai lunged forward, headbutting Enzo with such force that he fell back to the ground. Kai grabbed Enzo's head, bashing it into the ground, the wet sound of blood smattering the floor, repeatedly punching Enzo's now unrecognizable puffed and scraped and bruised face and then with a howl Kai snapped his neck so Enzo's head turned almost all the way around and then his lifeless body crumpled to the floor.

Kai didn't even wait a beat before he used his speed to stand up and move toward Bonnie in one motion. "Enzo?" He yelled in her face. "FUCKING ENZO?"
"Yeah, that's right, fucking Enzo!" said Bonnie harshly, her eyes glinting with spiteful rage.

"He's a nobody!"

"Doesn't fuck like a nobody," said Bonnie. "You shouldn't've interrupted us maybe you could've learned something."

An image of Enzo writhing between Bonnie's thighs flashed quickly into Kai's mind and he grabbed her by the shoulders slamming her against the wall. "Watch what you lie about, Bonnie!"

She pushed him off of her, her magic blowing him back to the other side of the lounge. "Yeah you wish I was lying. All those weeks we spend apart, what do you think I'm doing? Every time I bite my lip when we fuck, you think it's because of you? It's him. I'm trying not to scream his name! Just thinking about him, his cock—"

"SHUT UP!" Kai roared, picking up a table and throwing it toward Bonnie so that it whizzed past her face and splintered into pieces against the wall behind her. "SHUT UP! You fucking bitch, you slut, you—"

"That's right, get it out! Call me all the names you want, Kai, doesn't change how I'd crawl hands and knees for just one more fuck! And Damon!" Kai's expression darkened, his eyes reddened, he clenched his fists and the flickering lights started to burst but Bonnie couldn't stop herself from speaking. All of her venom and hurt and sense betrayal was spilling out, her words rushed and fractured and wild with anger. "Talk about a stallion."

"You better be fucking careful, Bonnie. The only reason why I haven't killed you yet is because I like fucking you, the minute that changes I —"

"You what?" said Bonnie, storming up to him. "You what?"

"I will drain you dry and forget you! You're just blood in a pretty casing, there are others like you in this town!"

Bonnie laughed hysterically. "Fucking liar, you stalk me, show up to my dorm the middle of the night fiending —"

"That was when there was novelty to you!" Kai exclaimed. "You're damaged goods now. Used up! By fucking ENZO and — and —"

"Damon! Say his name! God knows I have, begging for more, begging for his dick in a way I could never beg you for yours. I'm moist just thinking about —"

Kai clasped his hand around Bonnie's throat, yelling incoherently as he did. "I'll fucking show you — I'll — I'll —"

"I dare you!"

They glowered at each other, the space between them charged with their fury, their pain, their malice, thickening the air, roiling beneath their skin, choking their windpipes, incensing their blood and then Kai kissed her, his hand under her chin, his lips furled and teeth clenched, a primal growl rumbling in his chest. Bonnie shoved him away and spat in his face.

"You don't get to touch me! You don't deserve this!"

She started to walk away but Kai rushed forward and pinned her against the opposite wall, smashing his lips against hers, kissing her violently, his hand still around her neck. He pushed himself against her, flattening her against the surface, claiming her body with his, roughly opening her mouth with his lips, refusing her any air, any space, anything but him. Bonnie clasped her hands on either side of Kai's head, bringing him even deeper into their embrace, her tongue keen and aggressive against his, her lips swollen. She made her fingers rigid, turning them into claws, and she dragged her nails down his face so that he yelped into her mouth and she bit down on his lower lip so that she tasted his blood on her tongue, her teeth still clamped down until he growled in pain and wrenched away from her.

"Bitch!" he yelled, touching his lip.

"I don't fucking want you!"

Kai jerked forward and Bonnie raised her head in response. "What, you want to slap me? Beat me into submission, hit me into wanting you?"

Kai stared at Bonnie, breathing heavily, his lips a rigid line. His eyes were raw — angry and aroused — his face flushed red, and his expression both smouldering and punitive. And Bonnie quaked with desire beneath his glare; she felt her body open up with eagerness, her groin throb with need. Oh she hated this.

Jaw clenched, his eyes never leaving hers, Kai started unbuckling his belt, smug and lustful determination on his face. Bonnie swallowed hard but kept her gaze steady in its defiance. Swiftly, Kai grabbed her by the wrist and flipped her around, using his speed so that they moved from the wall to the balcony. Bonnie's stomach slammed against the railing so that she almost toppled over the ledge into the crowd below and before she had a chance to think anything or say anything, Kai grabbed her other arm, knitting both of her wrists together and fastening them behind her back with his belt. He put his hand on the back of her skull and bent it forward so that Bonnie bowed her head down and then he skimmed his lips along the nape of her neck, the tip of his tongue making a trail down her skin, causing Bonnie to gasp. His lips now grazing her jaw, Kai put one of his hands on Bonnie's stomach, pressing her to him and then slipped under her dress, shredding the lace of her underwear, cupping her sex, making her inhale sharply. He didn't move his fingers and Bonnie cursed him, trying to make her own movement, grind against his palm but Kai held her by the hips, stilling her motions.

Fuck!

Bonnie felt Kai stiffen against her behind, his hardness intensifying the ache in her belly and she arched her back, ready and wanting and frustrated and angry.

"Say it," say Kai, his voice low, almost dangerous.

"No."

Kai growled and flexed his hand over her sex and Bonnie mewled. She wanted to guide his hand but she couldn't move her own, she struggled uselessly against the belt.

"Fucking say it, Bonnie."

He slipped a finger inside her, rubbing her clitoris, gripping her hip even tighter so she could do nothing to move against the stroking.

"Shit," she moaned.

He stilled his hand and withdrew his finger. It was like Bonnie's entire body contracted. "Bastard!"

"Say. It."

She groaned. "I want you."

"Want me to what?"

Bonnie closed her eyes.

"Want me to what?"

"Fuck me," she said.

Kai shook her. "What?"

"I want you to fuck me."

And then he plunged into her, filling her, making her cry out just as the DJ on the ground floor announced they were close to midnight. Kai groaned as he flexed his hips, pounding against Bonnie's ache, his rhythm mercilessly delicious, the sound of Bonnie slamming repeatedly against the balcony railing, swearing, calling out to God intensifying his arousal. Bonnie dug her fingernails into her palm as she silently begged Kai to stop and to never stop, to release her from this torment and to torment her forever, devastated with the brutal pleasure of his thrusts, her muscles clenching and quivering around his erection. Kai grabbed fistfuls of Bonnie's hair, pulling on it so that her neck craned back, her face looking directly up into his as he continued to ravage her, his eyes dark and intense, holding her gaze hostage. Then suddenly, Kai slapped her behind, the smack a loud echo; it made direct contact with Bonnie's ache, satiating and fuelling it at the same time. Bonnie mewled loudly. And he slapped her again even harder, her body jerking with how fucking good it felt; raw and hedonistic and overwhelming — it was ripping her to shreds, he was tearing her apart with desire, pushing, no breaking her limits, what she could endure. Her arms were sore, her wrists were tender but it didn't matter. Kai grabbed her beneath the chin, keeping her head in place so she could see only him and the way Bonnie's eyes clouded with hateful gratitude, the way her eyebrows furrowed in carnal enjoyment, in struggled concentration to keep from fragmenting with sensation, the shades of pleasure contorting her face drove Kai wild in a way so primal and base, it maddened him with a desire that made it impossible to control himself, he couldn't help himself with her and his movement became more erratic and insistent, powerful.

It was going to kill her. She was sure of it. This was how she was going to die. Every single atom in her body was ravaged and sensitized and —

Bonnie bit down on her bottom lip almost as hard as she bit down on Kai's.

"Thinking about Enzo?"

Kai quickened his pace and Bonnie squealed. "No," Bonnie whimpered. "God no."

"Damon?"

And Kai grasped Bonnie's hair even tighter as he gyrated his hips, eliciting a long, drawn out moan from deep in Bonnie's throat. "Never. Just you. Just — fuck — Kai."

Kai's gaze shifted from Bonnie's eyes to her jugular, blue veins darkening his face, the corner of his lip furling to reveal his fangs, his pupils pooled into a deep scarlet. He had to taste her. He needed to be able to revel in her. All of her. He couldn't finish if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to think or feed or breathe, he wouldn't be able to function if he couldn't drink from her - she sustained him. And destroyed him.

"Let me bite you."

Bonnie stopped biting her lip, revealing a bloodied cut and Kai groaned at the sight, hardening even more if it were at all possible.

"Why?"

"Please, Bonnie. Please. I'll do anything, I just need to…" Kai squeezed his eyes shut as Bonnie grinded back against him and he couldn't help but revel in the feel of being inside her. Fuck. He had to bite her. He had never felt like his life depended on something so much; it was physical, always physical with her - like his body was imprisoning him and only her blood could settle him within himself. "I need to bite you," he said frantically. He couldn't articulate himself; he was in excruciating pain and devastating pleasure and all he could do was feel and beg. Feel and beg. "Let me bite you. I swear I'll die if I don't taste your blood. Bonnie. I will do anything you fucking want just LET ME TASTE YOUR BLOOD."

Silently, Bonnie said a spell that untied her wrists and she turned around, pushing Kai onto the floor, straddling him, sinking onto him fully, their mouths hanging open.

"OK EVERYBODY!" someone shouted from below. "TEN!"

Bonnie writhed on him quickly, roughly, circling her hips, hooking her nails into his white collared shirt, ripping it open, the buttons flying off and skidding across the floor.

"NINE!"

In one quick motion, Kai sat up so that he and Bonnie were nose to nose and he tilted his pelvis, pushing himself deep inside her, grinning as Bonnie furrowed her eyebrows at his fullness.

"EIGHT!'

They started moving together, the pace fast and intense and wild, possessive. Bonnie fisted her hands through his hair and then brought his face to her cleavage; he nuzzled her enthusiastically, kissing and sucking, his tongue lapping her skin, mirroring the frantic motions of their hips.

"SEVEN!"

Kai couldn't take it anymore. Abruptly, he sunk his fangs into Bonnie's cleavage, causing her to convulse into orgasm, screaming his name. He continued to flex his hips, maintaining the punishing rhythm, as he pressed his palms against her back, gorging himself on her.

"SIX!"

The taste of Bonnie's blood frenzied his own and he groaned as his guzzled, relishing the feed, relishing her, his hunger dissipating and deepening at the same time; he would never be able to get enough of this, of her; he needed to claim her in every way and Kai, thrust himself even deeper into her so that she clawed at his back in the excess.

"FIVE!"

Bonnie came again. And again. And again. Kai just wouldn't stop, he refused to relieve her of a pleasure that was beyond endurance, beyond any kind of human experience. It was a reward and a punishment, too much for any one person to handle. Bonnie screamed. "I was lying, I was lying! You know I was lying! How could I want any more than this? How could there be any more than this! Fuck!"

"FOUR!"

Kai grunted as he sucked harder from Bonnie's flesh; she tightened her muscles around him and then relaxed and Kai reached his limit, exploding into orgasm, crying out into Bonnie's bosom at the sheer intensity of his release.

"THREE!"

They both slackened but stayed tangled in their embrace.

"She was you," said Kai, his breathing ragged. "The girl was you."

"What do you mean?" said Bonnie.

"I cast a spell so she would look like you to me."

"Why?"

"It's the only way I can feed anymore."

"TWO!"

Bonnie stayed quiet, a conflict of emotions waging within her, guilt and disgust screaming in her mind, hate burning her chest, savage satisfaction heavy in her gut.

"That's sick, Kai."

"If you say so."

"ONE!"

"I can't keep doing this."

"So you've said."

"I don't know why I keep letting this happen."

"Because you can't stop."

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

"How come I can't find my limits with you?"