A/N: The plots finally poking it's ugly little head out :) Thank you all for the follows and favorites. I'm happy you guys are enjoying the story.

Xxxx

Her name burned my mouth, sand papering my throat as I craned my neck to look at her.

After a moment I heard her speak again.

Breaking the heavy silence that grew between us like rot as we held each others unwavering gaze.

"It's been awhile." She said, moving slightly from my path as I started to shift. "I'm sorry about your dad."

I snorted, un-amused, gripping the wall as I pushed myself to my knees. The world spun around me as I moved, causing my head to drop and my chin to hit my chest.

'Jesus Christ.' I thought, my teeth clenched tight as my head slowly shook from side to side. 'Fucking Vodka.'

"Do you need some help?" I heard her ask softly, I looked up in time to see her reach out her hand, my eyes instantly drawn to the glittering ring upon her finger.

She smelled like vanilla and happiness, her perfume carried on the light breeze to assault my scrunched nose as I unthinkingly shoved her hand away, bracing my other hand against my knee.

"No. I got it." I snapped, wincing slightly as I pushed myself upright. Her eyes met mine against once I had gotten my footing. "Never thought I'd see you attending a club party."

Her smile returned, a little less bright than before. "Well, I heard you were back…I thought I'd come and see how you were doing."

'See how I was doing?' I thought, rolling my eyes. 'You just wanted to see what a mess I am, you bitch.'

"That and Jax hasn't stopped talking about you." She chuckled, a bitterness hidden deep within her words. I laughed, turning my head to glance around the lot.

"Yeah," I replied with a sigh, wiping my hand quickly over my face. "I know the feeling."

It was a low, unwarranted, blow.

I knew that.

But it was true.

She had made me self conscience and afraid of losing Jax for so long…

She deserved to be hurt.

My words were met with silence, only the slight him of the crickets in the distance to fill the empty space between us. I dared a look over at her after a few seconds.

Her dark eyes were lowered, her perfect features partially hidden by some of the smooth and glossy hair that had escaped her neat bun at some time during the night as she turned her face into profile. A slight pink blush had been splattered across her cheek, her small hands clenched lightly into fists at her sides.

'Shit.' I thought, amused. My eyebrows raised slightly as I looked over her down turned mouth and flushed face. 'Bitch got a quick temper.'

Jax had always liked them fiesty.

"I came here….hoping to have a pleasant conversation with you," she started, her words tight, her tone irritated. "Bury the hatchet on a way. For the misunderstanding we had in the past-"

"Misunderstanding?" I laughed, my louder voice easily cutting hers off, taking her by surprise. "There was no 'misunderstanding'. You wanted Jax, but couldn't have him. So you made my life nothing but a big fucking question."

This time she was the one to laugh. "I was an idiot to think I could actually have a mature conversation with you." Her eyes were hard as they grazed over me, her body twisting as she turned to leave. "You are still very much a child, Harley."

"Yeah," I spat at her receding form through clenched teeth. "And you're still an insufferable bitch."

Her steps slowed, her slim shoulders tensing as her head lifted slightly and allowing the thin chain around her neck to catch the harsh light wafting from the street lamps.

I mentally braced myself for what she was about to say.

Readied myself for whatever hate she was about to throw at me. Prepared myself for whatever insult the great doctor had thought up.

But nothing could have shielded me from the words that came from her mouth right then.

"I almost had Jax, you know….he came so close to giving in so many times." Her voice was low, but it was the only thing I heard.

The air around me seemed to shatter, the ground under me seemed to quake as the long numbed feelings I had had towards Jax were dug up and destroyed all over again.

I stood in silence for a moment, unsure of what to do.

Unsure of exactly how to feel.

It felt like I had been shot.

The pain that radiated through my body was unexpected and intense. My eyes narrowing as my feet shifted, my hands curling themselves into fists.

My heart was breaking in a way it had never before.

And I didn't even know why.

Almost immediately I saw the regret on Tara's face as she turned to face me for the last time . Her eyebrows pulling together, her mouth dropping open slightly as her hand rose slowly into the thick air between us.

"Harley…." She whispered shakily, her eyes filled with sudden compassion and shock, as if taken off guard by her own truth. "I didn't…I…I shouldn't have-"

I launched from my previous spot and pushed her back, my palm flat against her shoulder as she rammed back into the wall with a short gasp.

I didn't wait to hear what she had say.

I didn't want to hear it.

When I was younger I had a whole speech prepared for this moment. I knew exactly what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it when the time finally came.

I rewrote it so many times in my mind I had lost count.

But now, as I stood glaring down at her…..I had nothing to say. Everything I had memorized was gone and replaced with two simple words.

"Fuck. You." I snarled before pulling back, wiping my hand against my jeans and walking away from her. My eyes burned as I ducked my head and made my way to my room, ignoring my name as it was called across the lobby.

My door slammed shut, my suddenly sweaty forehead banging against its sticky surface as the first of my tears fell.

I was ashamed of myself.

Crying over something that was long over and would never happen again.

My heart breaking over a guy I had hardly even thought about in years.

With a loud sob I pushed away from the door, kicking it a few times and making it crack against it's hinges before falling to the ground.

It was all gone.

All the happy memories of Jax…

All the stupid promises and private jokes…

Everything I didn't think I needed, or even wanted anymore, was gone.

I fell asleep where I had fallen, curled up in a ball holding my stomach as the room spun around me.

Xxxx

Bright sunlight blinded me behind my closed eyelids, pulling me from my dreamless sleep with a start, my head swimming as I jolted up.

"What the hell!" I yelled, clenching my head and grinding my teeth, the pain unimaginable as it chipped away at the back of my skull.

"Time to get up." Came a females voice, the sound of heels muffled clomping against the carpet drawing my squinted eyes up. "You're needed in church."

I took in her hot pink tank top and her short leather skirt, her fish nets torn and worn the knees.

A fucking crow eater.

"Fuck off." I mumbled, shaking my head slightly to clear it. I heard the jingle of brackets and a slight sigh from above me.

"You shouldn't be rude to somebody's who's just trying to help your sorry ass." Came her reply, the faint rasp in her voice lulling me into a false sense of sleep.

"I don't need no help from a fucking Crow eater." I mumbled, proceeding to lay back down onto the dirty carpet. "Useless pieces of shit. I can take care of my own damn self."

"Yeah," was her snarky reply, her tone conveying a tone of disgust. "By the looks of that vomit in your hair I can tell you're doing one hell of a job so far."

'Son of a bitch.'

"Look, 'I'm sure you're a…'great' girl. But I just had the worst night of my life, so if you would kindly go to hell, that'd be great." I groaned, her mere presents starting to make the throb in my head intensify. My mouth tasted rank and my throat was dry, my already uneasy stomach turning every time I opened my sensitive eyes.

I wanted another drink.

Another drink and to be left to drown in my own self pity alone.

Was that really too much to ask?

"And you think I had a wonderful fucking night?" she retorted, snorting humorlessly. "You think I wannabe over here dealing with your whiny, vomit covered ass?"

"Then why the Fuck are you here." I snarled, banging the floor beside my head in annoyance. "Go away! Tell Clay to go to hell!"

"Yeah, I'm not gonna do that." She snorted, I opened my eyes to watch her shake her head. "Look….Ya gotta get up."

"What's the fucking point." I sobbed, sounding pathetic even to myself. "My life is a complete fucking mess again. God. And I was just starting to accept it!"

I heard the shift of clothes and the woman knelt down at my side, grabbing my arms to sit me up. I fought her the whole way, finally giving in and crossing my legs under me to glare over at her hatefully.

"Life is shit and the people you meet are gonna, more times than not, be shit themselves." She said, her head moving to catch my gaze as I rolled my eyes and turned away. "But like my Grandma always said 'You just gotta pull yourself up, get off the floor, wash the vomit outta your hair and pretend all that other fuckery doesn't bother you."

I couldn't help the smile that tightened my cheeks, my eyes narrowing suspiciously. "That sounds oddly accurate to this situation."

"Maybe I paraphrased a bit." She chuckled in reply, getting to her feet after a moment and offering a slim hand down to me. "I was serious about that shower though. You stink."

"I know." I agreed, taking her hand in my and allowing her to help pull me to my feet, sending us both off balance for a moment. "I'm Harley."

She laughed, nodding her head as she wound her arm through mine and around my waist. "Cherry."

Xxxx

I felt human again as I strolled into church, hands digging in my pockets as I took my seat beside Bobby. He lifted his eyes to look at me when I moved, leaning closer to his side as I placed a cigarette between my lips.

"What's all this about?" I whispered, my gaze locked on the deep set frown on Clays face. "Somebody die?"

"The Mayans are moving closer." Bobby replied, snaking his own cigarette from my pack as I lit up. "Clay thinks there's a rat."

"Who?" I couldn't help but ask, my interest peaked and overwhelming as my attention swung back over to Bobby. He laughed at my question, taking his glasses off and shaking his head before replying.

"If I knew that, they would be dead."

"Why don't I doubt that?" I chuckled, leaning away slightly as he reached out to pinch my cheek.

"Because you're one of the smart one, darling."

My retort was silenced by Clays gavel, the hollow slam echoing throughout the large room and silencing all on going conversations.

"Brothers," his voice boomed, his gaze swinging once around the table acknowledging each of us. "The situation with the Mayans isn't getting better. They are getting too fucking comfortable. Over the course of the last few days more and more have been spotted within our bounds. Business owners are starting to voice their concern, some even refusing to open their stores until this problem is resolved."

"So, what's the plan?" I heard Chibs ask from his place a few seats away. "Do we force them out?"

"I'm trying spare blood. Avoid unnecessary casualties." Clay replied, tapping his fingers against the paper set out before him. "I have arranged a meet and exchange of sorts with the Mayans. They need guns and we have guns to give them-"

"To scope out the place." Opie interjected, his head nodding slowly in understanding. Clay pursed his lips, his hand raising to point a finger in Opie direction. "See what their bringing to the table."

"Exactly. We gotta scrub out the threat before it goes too deep." He said, turning his head towards Jax. "You'll be heading this one."

"Sounds good."

I couldn't make myself look over at Jax as he replied, but the grin was evident in his voice as I stared down at my hands resting upon the section of table before me.

Insults rushed my mind.

He was a liar.

He was weak.

He didn't deserve this.

"I want you to pick out who you want to accompany you. But, remember, you head out the day after tomorrow so don't just stand around with your sick in your hand."

"Yeah, yeah."

Xxxx

I couldn't have left the room any faster after church had ended, punching the door open amid my mad dash to leave and hide in the bathroom.

I exited moments later, the door pulled open just as my hand reached to grasp the smudged handle. I found myself face to face with Jax, his piercing blue eyes driving a knife straight through between my eyes as I hurriedly looked away.

'Run away.'

My shoulder rammed his as I shoved passed him, ignoring the way his head turned to follow me as I stormed away.

I spotted Opie a few feet away, standing around some of the Crow eaters and laughing at whatever they were saying.

"Hey." I said as I popped my head between two of the girls, ignoring their irritated scoffs and their overwhelming perfume as it burned my nose. "Wanna get a beer?"

My eyes must have been pleading, my tone desperate, because he moved forward without a thought, his heavy arm swinging over my shoulder as he lead me forward.

"Thought you'd never ask." He joked, sending a small smile down to me as we made our way over to the bar.