Bender watched intently as Fry's eyelids fluttered, opening slowly to reveal a pair of unfocused, hazel eyes that gradually zeroed-in on the yellowish optics of a robot. He squinted up skeptically.

"Bender? s'that you? Or is it an imposter trying to steal my chewed gum collection?"

"You're back!" Bender exclaimed and scooped the redhead up in his arms so that he could squeeze him like a rag-doll. He swung his legs back and forth for a moment as Fry gasped for breath.

"Did I go somewhere?" Fry said restrictedly, unable to get a good gulp of air. Bender placed him on his feet and clasped onto his shoulders. Then, the robot stretched up on on the tips of his footcuffs to smush his glassy mouthplate against Fry's cushy lips, and remarkably, they kissed right back! A real kiss with affection he could almost taste, with fleshy hands that cupped around the back of Bender's head.

"Mmmm." Bender sighed contentedly into his overly lovey-dovey kiss. This was how it was supposed to be. None of that cold, not-worshipping-Bender crap. He pulled away with a smoochy-sound, and breathed a satisfied breath.

"What's going on? Why are we here?" Fry asked, sounding concerned as he looked around in the freezing room of shelves. "Did we lose another bet with the street-kids? I warned you I'm not good at Double-Dutch."

"Don't worry your dim, little head about it, Meatbag. I'll explain it all on the way home." Bender stuck his arm around Fry's waist and walked the clueless redhead out of the door with a "So long, Norm! Smell ya later!"

Hermes apologized for Bender's crude behavior and gave Norm a proper thanks, before tagging along behind the romosexual couple and into the crumpled ship.

The trip home was rather uncomfortable for the bureaucrat. Fry steered the ship on Bender's lap while the robot carded through Fry's fiery hair, and kissed the back of his neck, sometimes reaching his arms around Fry's waist to aid the rehead's poor driving. Hermes could sense how thrilled Bender was to have the half-wit in his arms again. As he watched him show Fry the right buttons to press and when, (though he hardly knew himself,) he couldn't help but feel another bout of that blame being pointed at him. He'd almost taken the light of Bender's life, and turned his coworker into a soulless, logical apparition.

Hermes sucked in some stuffy air, and mustered up the guts to step over to the two of them, who seemed to be having an important conversation.

"You say I was too smart to even eat play Ninja Cheesepuff Warriors?" Fry gasped, "But it's our favorite nighttime game!"

"You were too geeked-up to even touch a cheesepuff- Watch the wheel- Cuz all you'd eat was that gross rabbit food. You see how scrawny you are? I'm gonna have to start callin' you 'Bonebag.' The second we get home I'm getting' you a cheeseburger or nine, fatten you up a lil-"

"Excuse me." Hermes cleared his throat loudly to gain their attention. Two very different sets of eyes glanced up at him. One pair was curious and innocent. The other screamed 'murder.' "I would like ta make an announcement, if that's alright with you."

"Denied. Go away Herpderp." Bender fumed nonchalantly.

"Anyways, I would like to apologize for my actions earlier this month. Fry, I shouldn'ta pushed ya and let your brains get scrambled. And Benda," The bureaucrat eyed the robot now, with real apology behind his square glasses. "I shoulda been more considerate of your feelin's."

"I don't have any stupid feelings! Arrrg! You'll never be forgiven fer stealin' me favorite booty! Now get lost, Bob Marley! Scram!" Bender stood, pushing Fry off of him with a thud as he thrust a sharp sword from his chest and slapped on his hat. He then picked Fry up by the scruff of his neck and handed him a smaller, yet still deadly weapon. "Turn on the autopilot, me First Matey, Wiggles. We got ourselves a scallywag to make walk the plank!"

Hermes squealed in fear and darted to the backroom for refuge. Fry and Bender both grinned, happy to be playing their games once again. They hadn't played 'Walk the Plank' in a while, and now seemed like a good time to rev this engine once more. With one final kiss, the two howled like pirates and bolted after him, enthralled to find that he was a lot more fun to terrify than the ever-humorless Leela. Fry was back, baby, oh boy did they have a lot of fun to make up for.

And as Bender watched Fry pin Hermes to the ground and threaten him with his blade, he found he couldn't wait for them to be pulling the same damn shenanigans with wedding rings on their fingers, rather than engagement rings.

Maybe they could steal off to Mars Vegas tonight, after Hermes got what was coming to him...

THE END YOU WEINERS!