Chapter 28

Three months later, seaQuest

Carol Bridger sighed as she entered Kristin's room. Months had passed since Kristin had had her accident, yet she still couldn't stop herself from visiting her nearly every day. Of course, she could never let Kristin know she was here, much as she wanted to. Oh, certainly, Kristin would have welcomed her with open arms, but under the circumstances, this was for the best due to the powers that be.

Headquarters had indeed made it clear they were well aware of how she'd defied them. Since things had worked out so well, though, no reprimands were given. They'd made it clear to Carol that they were watching her, however, and if she slipped up, they wouldn't be so lenient the next time. To ensure she kept herself in check and didn't get more involved than she ought to, she often visited at night when Kristin was sure to be asleep, taking care not to touch her, and this particular night was no different.

She glanced towards Kristin's bunk, the woman in question fast asleep. She smiled to herself when she heard Kristin mumble something. Unfortunately, her smile soon faded when she noticed her tossing and turning. "She must be dreaming," Carol said softly to herself.

"No, please! I'm s-so cold."

Okay, make that a nightmare. Carol sighed and carefully approached the bed. Beads of sweat dotted Kristin's forehead as she continued to toss and turn, moaning softly. Her brow furrowed. That hit rather quickly, didn't it? Then again, she remembered hearing somewhere the average dream only lasted for a few seconds, so maybe it was perfectly normal.

"No, please!"

Carol bit her bottom lip in worry, finding it difficult to watch the younger woman experience such distress. Wake up, Kristin, she thought. She couldn't stand seeing her in pain, but she couldn't exactly do anything about it, not unless she wanted to face the wrath of Headquarters. She honestly had no idea what they'd do to her, but she wasn't sure she wanted to find out either.

"No! I...I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Nathan, I...I n-need you to find me! I'm s-so cold. Please, come find me! I...I want to go home!" Tears began to stream down her cheeks as sobs escaped her throat.

Carol wrung her hands together, deliberating whether to follow her gut or not. Oh, wake up, honey. Please, wake up.

"No!" Kristin shot bolt upright in bed, suddenly awake.

Carol breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness. She moved to the chair in the corner of the room and sat, watching silently.

"It was just a dream," Kristin said over and over again as if it were a mantra. She sighed, reached over to flip on the light, and pushed herself out of bed. She paced back and forth for a few minutes before stopping and glancing towards her bedside table.

Carol followed her gaze, which landed on her PAL unit. Yes, that's probably a good idea. Call Nathan. He'll help to ease your mind.

As if she had heard her, Kristin walked to the table and touched the PAL unit wistfully, her teeth sinking into her bottom hip in thought. After a few moments, however, she pulled her hand away, giving a shake of her head. "I can't wake him," she whispered. "I...I have to get through this on my own." She crawled back into bed and shut the light off again.

Carol heard the sounds of the blankets rustling and Kristin's tossing and turning. Several minutes later, though, the room quieted, save for a light snore coming from the bed. Well, at least she got back to sleep; guess she was fine on her own after all. She carefully approached the bed again and sat down next to her. She reached a hand out and was just about to touch the woman's face when she began to stir again, soft moans of anguish escaping her throat. Oh, no.

"No," Kristin mumbled. "Please."

I can't keep watching her go through this, Carol thought with a shake of her head, making her decision then and there. She'd been trying her best not to draw the attention of Headquarters, but this was an emergency. Whatever punishment they dealt her, she'd accept it, not really caring about herself at the moment.

"Nathan, p-please, come find me. I...I'm s-so c-cold."

She took Kristin's hand in her own and gave it a kiss. She then took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Follow my voice, Kristin. It's just a dream. You're all right. Just follow my voice..."

-sᴉɥʇ ǝʞᴉl sʇuǝɯoɯ-

Kristin felt a warm hand gently stroking her cheek. "Open your eyes, sweetheart. You're safe now."

"Mmm'kay," she mumbled, willing her heavy lids to open just a crack when she saw the familiar facing smiling down at her. Her eyes widened in surprise as she forced herself to sit up. "I don't believe..." She trailed off as she suddenly noticed her surroundings; she was on Nathan's island, and she wasn't cold any longer. It was pleasantly warm. Of course, it always was on Nathan's island, but the last thing she remembered... Well, one moment she was freezing, and the next...

Carol put her arm around her shoulders. "Are you all right?"

"That depends," Kristin muttered. "Are you a dream, too?"

Carol laughed softly. "I don't think so. You see, I decided to pay you a visit, and you were having a rather intense nightmare. I wasn't sure how else to stop it."

Kristin nodded quietly before wrapping the older woman in a tight hug. "Thank you." She felt happy tears spring to her eyes. "I never thought I'd see you again. I've missed you so."

Carol returned the embrace. "I've missed you too, dear, very much. You couldn't know this, but I still come to see you, almost every day. I just can't show you. Or I'm not supposed to."

Kristin gently pulled away to look at her, wiping the stray tears from her cheeks. "Why not?"

"Orders," Carol replied with a shrug. "Since your case is essentially closed, there's no reason for me to get involved...unless something else comes up." She motioned between the two of them. "This was just lucky, I suppose."

Kristin's brow furrowed. "You won't get in trouble now, will you?"

Carol waved a hand. "You don't need to worry about that. I'm not worried about it. I'm more concerned about you. Are you all right?"

"You mean because of the dream? I'm fine. I mean, I...I'm always a little shaken up after the fact, but it'll pass. It's not the first time, and it probably won't be the last."

The older woman nodded. "Perhaps, but I meant more in the general sense. A few months have gone by since we last saw one another. How are you?"

A ghost of a smile tugged at the corner's of Kristin's mouth. "I'm fine, for the most part. There are good days and bad days, but that's to be expected. Some days are more difficult than others, but I've been pushing through."

"I've noticed. And I heard you're back to normal duty now. Congratulations!" She patted Kristin's arm gently. "How are you coping without Wendy? It's been what? Two weeks now?"

"Yes," she said with a nod. "Saying goodbye to her was much like saying goodbye to you." She gave a light laugh. "It was rather ironic, since you know I wasn't too happy about her coming aboard in the first place." She paused and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why are we talking about all this, though? You already know what happened, don't you?"

Carol sighed. "Actually, no, I don't know everything. I've been busy with other assignments, and while I could check, I'd rather hear it from you, if you don't mind." She bit her bottom lip. "But... You realize this is probably one time deal? You and me, I mean? I can't say when it will happen again..."

Kristin nodded quietly, lowering her gaze. "The universe must have known I needed to see you."

Carol reached out and gave Kristin's hand a squeeze. "Well, the universe has its ways, you know." She sighed. "Now, getting back to Wendy, I know how close you two had become over the months. Surely, it won't be the last time you two see each other, though?"

Kristin shook her head. "Not if I can help it. She promised she'd keep in touch, and we spoke on the vid-phone just last week. She wants to get together the next time I take shore leave in Pearl. She said I should call her anytime..."

"But you haven't taken her up on that, have you?"

"Well, not yet, but... That's just something people say. They don't mean it literally. Besides, she doesn't need me bombarding her every time I feel a panic attack coming on, and I'm not about to go calling her in the middle of the night." She paused and eyed Carol carefully. "Besides, I thought the reason it all happened was a message from the universe? Well, I've heard it loud and clear."

A brow rose. "And what message was that? Not to call on those who've offered their help? Do you think Wendy was lying to you?"

Kristin sighed. "Well, no, of course not. If I did call her, I know she wouldn't complain. It's just that... Well, I'm trying to become more independent now. For months, I've needed to lean on everyone around me." She held up a hand. "I realize I couldn't have gotten through it alone, and I know they don't mind, but..." She shrugged. "Well, I'm trying not to run to them every time I have a little thing like a nightmare, especially not in the middle of the night."

"You think it's little?"

"Isn't it, though? I'd brought it up to Wendy in our sessions. She said it was natural. Both my body and mind are still adjusting."

Carol nodded. "Well, maybe I can understand not calling on Wendy right now, but what about Nathan? I notice you're no longer sleeping in the same room."

Kristin felt a rush of heat to her cheeks. "Gossip on the seaQuest spreads like an algae bloom, and we didn't want anyone thinking there was more than sleeping going on...because we haven't done more than that yet..." She shrugged and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm a big girl. I can sleep just fine on my own...or I should be able to anyway."

"Except when you have recurring nightmares," the blonde pointed out. "I watched you. You were going to call Nathan before, but you changed your mind. Why?"

"Because it's the middle of the night, and he and I both need to work in the morning. Why should I drag him into all this?" She shook her head. "I know he loves me, and I know he'd do anything for me, but... I don't see why I need to pull him out of bed at two in the morning."

A sigh escaped Carol's lips. "I think you're a bit confused about all this."

Kristin's jaw dropped. "Confused? What do you mean? I...I've listened to everything you've said. In fact, everyone's who's been involved with me since then has given me sage advice, and I've heeded as much as I could. I-"

"That's not what I meant exactly," Carol said gently. "You do recall that this entire situations had lessons for everyone involved?"

"Of course...and I think I've more than learned them."

"All right. Do you want to tell me what the lessons are? Obviously, you can really only know yours for sure, but certainly you can speculate the others' lessons, can't you?" She placed a hand on Kristin's shoulder. "Just humor me. I promise there's a point to all this."

Kristin took a deep breath. "Well... For me, I think I was supposed to take a step back, at least for a little while. After I did, I began to see things differently; I definitely learned not to take life for granted, and I also learned life is too short not to say what's in my heart. Obviously, I learned how to ask for help, to realize I didn't have to handle things on my own." She shrugged. "But I don't think the universe intended I live that way all the time. I feel much better now. Granted, like I said, there are good days and bad, and while it could be a while before I'm not affected by what happened in any way, I feel I'm in a much better place than I was."

"Good. And for everyone else?"

"Well, like I said, it brought us all closer together." She lowered her gaze. "I suppose...it made them realize how much they cared?" She then looked up at Carol. "Is...is that right?"

She gave a light laugh and placed a hand on her chest. "You're asking me?"

"Well, isn't that why you were asking? To tell me the correct answer."

She laughed. "It wasn't a test, dear. I don't think there's one correct answer, and I wouldn't say you're wrong in your assessment either. I can tell you your accident put a lot of things into perspective for every single person involved, so your guess sounds plausible." She reached for Kristin's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Do you regret what happened?"

Kristin's brow furrowed. "It's a little late for that now, isn't it? And even if I hadn't gone on the whale expedition, you said the universe would have found another way."

"Yes, that's true. I guess I was asking because I wanted to make sure you realized all the good things that came with it." She held up a hand. "Obviously, what happened to you wasn't a good thing, per se, but so much light has been shed on areas that were dark before it. Where there was once pain, now there's joy. And where there was weakness, you found strength. And you found it...mostly in Nathan."

She sighed. "So you're saying I should still be leaning on him?"

"I'm saying I think you shouldn't worry so much about what the rest of the crew thinks. Your first instinct was to call Nathan before, but you stopped. Why? Was it because you truly wanted to get through it on your own or because you were worried about what someone else might think?"

"A little of both I suppose, but more the latter."

Carol put her arms around her. "I think he'd help the dreams seem less worrying. You were calling for him in your sleep anyway."

Kristin nodded quietly as she laid her head on Carol's shoulder.

"Besides," the older woman continued, "maybe it's time to give the rest of the crew something to talk about."

Her head snapped up as her face grew hot. "Are you suggesting..." She trailed off, unable to finish her sentence, feeling it a bit awkward.

Carol waved a hand. "Yes, I am suggesting," she said with a grin. "Obviously, you two wait until you're ready, but I just hope you're not letting the rest of the crew hold you back."

She shook her head. "We wouldn't allow that... I don't think it'll be too much longer. I just think we're waiting until we have the time to get away."

"Good," Carol replied, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "So you won't think twice about calling someone the next time you need him or her?"

"I promise. I suppose...I still need some help here and there."

"We all do, dear...even me."

Kristin laughed softly. "Do angels have their own guardian angels?"

"Well, I have a few good friends I depend on, and since they're not exactly human..." She laughed as well. "James is probably my best friend these days. You know he loves you very much."

"Yes, I know. You'll take care of him for me?"

"As long as you'll take care of Nathan for me."

"That can be arranged," she said with a smile that faded quickly. "Though I have the sinking feeling this conversation is about to end."

Carol nodded. "I think it's time I bring you back." She pulled her into another hug. "Just remember you're going to be just fine. I have a feeling you're going to lead a long and happy life. Go and live it."

"I'll miss you," she whispered.

"I know, but I'll always be with you. You'll never be alone. I'll still see you every day..."

-sᴉɥʇ ǝʞᴉl sʇuǝɯoɯ-

When Kristin's eyes fluttered open, she realized she was trembling, though it wasn't exactly out of fear. Carol had put her mind at ease about so many things once again, and while she was sad she may never see her again, she was filled with peace about the entire situation. Still, she felt a bit shaky, and she knew Carol was right; she needed to call someone.

She pushed herself up, flipped on the light, and picked up her PAL unit. She stared at it for several long moments before setting it down again, giving a shake of her head. She decided it was better she go to him. There was no sense pulling him from his own room if she didn't need to. She got up, put on her robe, and quietly made her way through the corridor to his room.

She took a deep breath and knocked gently. When she didn't hear a response, she knocked a bit louder, feeling a stab of guilt for pulling him out of bed at such an hour. She bit her bottom lip and was about to turn away when the door suddenly opened, a bleary-eyed captain staring back at her.

"Kristin?" he asked, suddenly sobering up and rubbing his eyes. "Is it... Is it really you?"

She laughed softly. "I suppose having me show up on your doorstep in the middle of the night would seem a bit alarming, but as far as I know, it's really me. Is it all right if I slept here?" She sighed, lowering her gaze. "I know what we spoke about, but... I've been having these dreams, and I just... I don't want to be alone." She looked into his eyes. "Please?"

Nathan put an arm around her shoulders and ushered her inside. "Of course it's all right, Kris. I've always told you it was. You were the one who was more worried about the talk than anything." He paused and pulled her into a tight hug. "I wish you'd have told me they were still happening."

She shrugged and settled into his embrace. "I didn't realize it was affecting me as much as it was. You know how dreams are. Sometimes things creep up you thought were long-buried. You mentioned how you sometimes still dream of Sam. Normally, my dreams aren't quite as persistent. I didn't want to wake you, but I didn't know who else to call on either."

He kissed her forehead. "Don't you worry about that. I've always told you I'm here for anything you need."

"I know," she said with a nod, "but it's not quite like it was before. We have work, responsibilities... Losing sleep doesn't make for a pleasant work day."

He untied her robe and slipped it off her shoulders. He then ushered her towards his bunk, urging her to lie down before crawling in next to her and pulling the covers up over them. As she snuggled in close to him, he wrapped his arms around her. "We can chase sleep together. As long as I'm with you, I don't care how tired I am."

She laughed. "Say that after you've stayed up all night with me."

"It depends on how we spend that night," he said with a wink. "I don't think I'd mind it as much as you think."

She sighed and laid her head on his chest. "Whatever you say, sailor." She stifled a yawn. "Sorry, but I don't think tonight is the night for anything more than sleep. I am tired, despite my mind not quite realizing that fact."

He gently rubbed her back. "Kristin, I certainly didn't expect... It was just a little joke."

"I know," she replied, patting his chest gently. "Believe me, it's not from lack of desire. I was thinking perhaps in the near future we could plan a weekend away, just the two of us?"

"To the island?"

She nodded. "You did promise me we'd go there again."

"I did, didn't I?" he said thoughtfully. "You have this weekend off, don't you?"

She lifted her head to look at him. "Yes, why?"

"Lucky for you, so do I. Tomorrow is Friday. After we get off duty, what do you say we steal away for the weekend?" he asked with a boyish grin.

Her jaw dropped slightly. "Oh..."

His smile faded. "You don't like the idea after all?"

"N-no, I do. It's just you're forgetting about Lucas. What about our movie night?"

"I'll ask him if we can reschedule for Sunday night. I'm sure he won't mind."

Kristin's face grew warm. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

She sat up and wrung her hands together. "Be-because...won't he wonder why we're going away for the weekend?" She sighed. "He'll put two and two together, and it'll be embarrassing and awkward..."

"Kristin, he's almost seventeen years old."

"Exactly," she replied. "That means he'll know exactly why we're going away together."

Nathan put his arm around her shoulders. "You're being paranoid. You know Lucas is more mature than he lets on, and we've let him into our relationship. It's worked well so far. Not that the subject of sex has come up, but I think we need to give him a little credit. Even if he knows about it, well... He knows that's what two people in love do...eventually." He kissed her cheek. "Not only that, just because we'll be alone and have complete privacy... I don't expect..." He sighed. "You know I'm perfectly happy if we just spend time together outside of the bedroom."

She smiled softly and brushed her lips against his. "Thank you for saying that. How about we just play it by ear, hm?"

"Wait, so you're saying yes?"

"As long as you're sure Lucas is okay with it. I don't want him angry at us."

"He won't be," he assured her. "Though I don't know about you, but I think we'd better turn in or we'll be falling asleep during the staff meeting."

"I can only imagine the rumors that would spark from that if we did," she said, moving to settle into the crook of his arm once again. She sighed happily. "It's been a hell of a tour so far, hasn't it?"

"You can say that again. Any regrets?"

She shook her head. "Never...and I can't wait to see what the future holds." She took one of his hands and laced her fingers in with his. "I'm just glad we don't have to go through it alone."

"Me, too," he replied. "And therefore I have sailed the seas and come; to the holy city of Byzantium."

She smiled softly. "Oh, that's a lovely thought before bed. Goodnight, Nathan. I love you."

"I love you, too, Kristin. Sweet dreams." He then cleared his throat and said, "Once out of nature I shall never take; my bodily form from any natural thing; but such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make; of hammered gold and gold enameling; to keep a drowsy Emperor awake; or set upon a golden bough to sing; to lords and ladies of Byzantium; of what is past, or passing, or to come."

-sᴉɥʇ ǝʞᴉl sʇuǝɯoɯ-

From the corner of the room, James watched as Carol sighed contentedly. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You've certainly done a good job with them."

She turned around. "James, I wasn't expecting you." She hugged him in greeting. "Had a lull in your work, have you?"

"A bit, yes," he replied, turning back to look at the sleeping couple. "They're going to be just fine now, Carol."

"I know," she said quietly. "I just can't...can't tear myself away. How do you do it?"

He shrugged. "I don't, really. I visit her more than you know, but now that she has Nathan, I'll worry much less about her." He gave her arm a squeeze."You really don't need to worry either."

She gave a quiet nod, and there was a long silence between them. Finally, she asked, "Does Headquarters know what I did earlier?"

"Yes."

He heard her swallow hard. "Are they angry?"

"I don't think so. They've given you a new assignment, and they asked me to deliver it for you." He shrugged. "Well, actually, I requested you. It's another one of those special circumstances."

A brow rose. "Someone else on the boat?"

"Not exactly, but you' know her already. It's my niece."

"Cynthia?" Carol shook her head. "Please don't tell me something bad happens to her. I'm not sure Kristin could take any more pain right now."

"That's exactly why I wanted you." He gave a heavy sigh. "Nothing's happened to her yet, and while I commend what she's trying to do, she's going to need protection. She's smuggling children."

"Smuggling children?" she repeated. "What?"

He held up his hands. "It isn't quite as sordid as it sounds. It's for a good reason. They're boys from the Amazonian Confederation. She's doing good work, but it's extremely dangerous." He nodded his head towards Kristin. "Of course, she hasn't told her mother for good reason, too. Will you keep her safe for me?"

"Of course I will," she replied, "though I have to wonder why you're not going instead."

He shrugged. "I've visited her a few times already. I tried to talk her out of it, actually, but that didn't go over so well. She's so much like her mother."

Carol smiled softly. "At least she cares about her fellow man. You should be proud."

"Oh, I am, indeed. I just don't want to see her on our side any time soon."

"You can count on me," she told him, turning back to the bunk. She leaned over and whispered something into Kristin's ear James couldn't quite make out and gave her a kiss on the cheek, causing the sleeping woman to sigh happily. She then moved around to Nathan's side and did the same before turning back to him. "I'm ready now."

James kissed Kristin's cheek as well before whispering, "I love you, angel face." He then moved to Carol's side and put an arm around her shoulders. "Let's go then."

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long to get out. I literally had several ways I could have ended this story. I rewrote it many times over. This one was rewrite eight; I just wasn't happy with the others, and if I'm not happy with it, it doesn't get posted. Hopefully, you think number eight is the charm. ;)

A couple of personal thank yous are in order for jujuone23 and Jenny wrens. Thank you, ladies, for being my faithful reviewers, for being my sounding boards, and for keeping me going when I thought no one else could possibly like this. Your support means the world to me.

And of course, thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, and followed. It is greatly appreciated.

So what's next for me? Well, I promise it's back to Justice, and that Christmas fic will be finished. I guess I fail at Christmas, but better late than never. Also, I have a new project that will be posted soon; it will be a Zellar revenge story. Stay tuned, and thank you once again.