Chapter 9

Rose's POV

The walk back to the manor was calm – much calmer than my initial rush out here, it took approximately about ten minutes in total just with me enjoying the sounds of the morning. Being on a vampire timetable for the majority of my life has made me appreciate the mornings: the birds, and the sun rise, the (overpowering) smell of flowers. It was all just enough to make me smile and feel at peace. The plain grass soon turned into a gravel patch leading up to a back door that linked directly with the kitchen – I opened it up not really worrying about waking anyone, they were bound to be up by now and if not within the next thirty minutes for the shower rush. Our kitchen was not small by any means – we had a large table (had to if it was going to fit all of us while we went crazy during mealtime. It was painted a deep red to match the cherry wood cabinets – the stove was a gas burner, so we did not need to worry if the power went out during a storm.

Deacon sat at the head of the table, drinking his coffee the way he does every morning, he looked at me pensively as if he were trying to think of what to say and/or how to say it. I was worried that he was going to ask me about my relationship with Dimitri and I really didn't want to get into that right now. Hell, I wasn't sure what to do about it – Adrien gave his blessing, which is humorous given how much he hates Dimitri but I know he just wants me happy.

Waving his hand to the seat next to him, I sighed and grabbed myself a cup of coffee, black, and sat down. He assessed me quietly, looked me up and down before staring me in the eye. I normally could tell exactly what he was thinking – he and I always had a special connection. Where Jace and I were like brother and sister – Deacon was the closest person I have ever had for a father. I stared at him right back, confused by his strange demeanor.

I took a sip of my coffee just as he said, "Did you know," causing me to be even more confused. Did I know what exactly? The look on my face must have given my question away because he sighed and said with a more commanding authority, "Did you know that he has wolf in his blood?"

I immediately started to choke on my coffee, pain appearing in my nose and throat as my body absorbed the hot liquid. Deacon stood up quickly and started to pat me on the back trying to get it out of my throat. After I stopped coughing and was able to catch my breath, I swiveled in my chair to look directly into Deacon's eyes. "Are you shitting me right now?" was all I could say to him – not exactly the most tactful thing to say to my leader but come on, I was literally just told life-altering news.

Deacon gave me the look that made me hang my head, it rivaled my mom's in power, mostly because unlike her, I had to listen to him. "I'm sorry, Sir. It's just that, wouldn't he have shifted by now? Wouldn't there be some indication that he had it? How could you even tell?" I started to panic – would being around us force him to shift? What about Lissa? She may not be all nice all the time but to lose the only two Guardians she ever wanted in life. Those last thoughts were relatively fleeting though, because once I shifted and the bond broke, they no longer came first. The Moroi were no longer in charge of me. I was my own person, and my family came before anyone.

Deacon sat back down across from me before stating "honestly, I'm not quite sure how he has the blood, or why he hasn't shifted. You can tell that he has no idea but what gave it away was his attitude last night. He was going to run out after you," he stopped to give me a look that said I needed to be more careful because we didn't want them to know what we are just yet before continuing, "and I told him that he wasn't allowed and that he needed to go to bed. He listened. No complaints. He just listened to my order."

I stared at him shocked and told him, "I never knew Deacon, hell I didn't know we existed until I was bitten. I was terrified, but then you guys found me, and you saved me. We may not be biologically related, but you are my father in almost every sense of the word. I love you and I serve you and our family – I could never have kept that important of a secret from you."

"I know you do, and we're so lucky to have you in our family. You're mean just as much to me and all of them. They gained a sister they never knew they could have, and I, a daughter." Deacon said before placing his hand over mine. "Oh, and one last thing before we go to our meeting. I know something happened between Dimitri and yourself, I don't know what and I'm not asking, but make sure you think appropriately about it from all angles. I'm here to talk whenever you need. As are your brothers."

I stood up and bent down to hug him fiercely, while I whispered over and over "thank you." Raising my eyes to the clock, I noticed that our conversation took about 45 minutes which means I missed the opportunity to shower – damn it. Adrian came down the stairs, hair perfectly in place, for once not smelling of alcohol or tobacco – for his first actual visit here, and with us he's quite comfortable for a vampire, though I suppose he had more time to prepare and was used to seeing the new me. He hugged me, gripped me hard around the middle and squished me to him as much as he could considering he was not as strong as he liked to believe. I hugged him back albeit a bit more carefully. It was not a tearful goodbye, nothing that said, "remember me when I am gone," rather it was more of a "I will see you later and you better have your shit together."

I walked outside with him to where Jace was waiting with the car to take him back. He got in the car waving to me out the window and as he drove off, I shouted that I loved him, and I do just not the way that he originally wanted me to. We used to blow off steam together in our dreams, once or twice in reality prior to his meeting Sydney but with her he seems devoted and they are talking about moving out here once Sydney graduates from her college program in art – she does some beautiful work.

Going back inside and through the foyer I happened to look to my right and saw Liam waiting for the meeting to start – Jace had been excused in order to get Adrian back to the Academy for his lessons later. Liam, being the jerk he is, took the only other solitary seat that we owned besides Deacon's which meant that I needed to sit next to someone for the meeting and right now with the way Dimitri makes me feel, I don't know if I could sit next to him right now. Being in the same house is hard enough but to have that little space between us would be torture. Just as I'm about to walk up the stairs, Dimitri started to come down. I looked up and met his eyes, and just like yesterday in the car, he immediately flinched. Ouch. I clicked my tongue and powered up the stairs pushing past him so he wouldn't see the affect he had on me. Fuck that shit hurt. Like I'm not super different, I'm still me! Though that could be the problem, I mean, he did say "Love Fades." I sigh as I go to my room to change into some new clothes for the day.

Entering my room, I made quick work of undressing. I didn't even close the door; everyone was downstairs and it's not like they haven't seen it before during shifting so who cares. Standing in my room, I grab a red bra and a pair of matching panties. Just because I don't have anyone to impress doesn't mean I can't look good now! Hurrying to change my old ones and get these on, I stumble over to my dresser, placing my foot on the floor as I finally pull on my underwear – as I'm grabbing a pair of black jeggings and a black tank top (my color scheme didn't change when I shifted, only my eyes). I heard a strangled choking sound and knew who it was before I even turned around. Dimitri was standing behind me, fully viewing me in my lingerie and my body couldn't take it. I had two choices. I could either take deep breaths and try to calm myself down while telling him to get lost or I could jump his bones and potentially be pushed away. Both these actions required more time than I apparently had to think because before I knew it, Dimitri was behind me, hands on my waist turning me around. Looking directly into his eyes I noticed no hesitation, no worry, a little fear, lust, and was that love. Before I could decide what, I wanted to do and how I wanted to proceed, Dimitri kissed me. Hard.

The feeling of his lips on mine once again felt incredible. My thoughts went fuzzy and I forgot everything. I couldn't remember who I was, what I was, nothing. I just knew that I wanted this. He grinded his hips against me and I felt him. I could feel myself getting turned on. My core started to ache and I needed more. "Roza. Roza," he murmured against my lips. Hearing his voice brought me back to reality. I pushed him away quickly and crossed my arms over myself. I could see myself in the mirror behind him – I once again looked like a scared starstruck schoolgirl.

Dimitri slammed his Guardian mask into place and went to walk out without saying anything. I reacted before I could think and reached out to grasp his wrist. "STOP! You don't get to do this. You don't get to treat me like crap before coming back into my life and acting like nothings happened. You don't get to get upset at being pushed away from me before you even tried to TALK to me. You don't get to pretend this shit didn't just happen! Not again. Stop shutting me out – stop making excuses. Tell the truth! Tell me how you feel! For God sake stop giving me whiplash!" I exploded. I couldn't take it anymore; my emotions were driving me crazy. My claws started to descend from my left hand and my eyesight started to blink back and forth between color and greyscale.

"You're right," he said, and I stumbled back in surprise. My claws disappearing and my eyesight returning to normal. Dimitri sighed and repeated himself. He sat down hard on my bed and put his face in his hands. I kneeled in front of him and grabbed his wrists to pull them away from his face and he looked at me and said, "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. For everything. Everything I said to you. Everything I did. It was all a lie. I do love you. I love you so much that it physically hurts being away from you. This whole time I worried that you were dead. The bond broke and Lissa was in so much pain – she was in the infirmary for three days, Roza. I feel like I can't breathe without you. Hearing that you had a new family tore me to pieces. I thought you moved on like I thought I wanted you too, but just the idea sent me spiraling. I haven't been the same since you've been gone. Roza please just give me another chance, please."

Seeing him beg like this hurt so bad but knowing that he loved me and that he lied that day sent my heart soaring. I loved this man in front of me, I really did. I leaned in and I kissed him gently before pulling away and saying, "I love you too, but we need to actually talk before anything happens. Now come, we're going to be late."

Dimitri nodded and stood up. He grabbed my hand and I led him out of the room and down the stairs, the clock in the hall reading 8:55am. As we got to the bottom of the stairs and around the corner, everyone was waiting and staring at us. Deacon looked at me with raised eyebrows that said, 'we'll talk later.' I nodded my head in compliance and pulled Dimitri to sit down on the loveseat. I looked around and saw Lissa sitting on the floor rather than on a chair. No shoes in site, rocking a pair of sweatpants. She looked calmer than I've ever seen her before.

Assuming she felt me looking at her, she turned around and grinned a wide toothed smile at me which made me laugh. I truly missed her. The darkness may have gotten to be too much for her to handle last night being in a new place surround by strange people and away from fire crotch.

The grandfather clock in the hall chimed 9 times. I settled back into my seat next to Dimitri and he did the same – lazily throwing an arm around my shoulders.

Sitting in his chair at the head of the room, Deacon spoke, "Okay, let's begin."