Eternally pissed because the title didn't fit. Ugh. You can find this in my tumblr too :^)

I can't believe I actually pulled this one through. Oh my god. Anyway, I took all the pickup lines from all over tumblr and I'm pretty sure that if anyone tried these on me, would totally work. Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it.

"Ah, don't put sugar in the tea babe. You're already sweet enough,"

Dick looked up from the keyboard to watch the redhead questioningly – and he was gone. Wally West. Okay, yeah, whatever. It wasn't the first nor the last time Dick was hit on at work. And being a barista at a coffee shop, well, didn't really help much.

A few minutes later, the tea was ready and Dick personally wrote on the cup the guy's name and called him. He made sure to write something on the other side, too.

"Wally West?"

In a blink of an eye¹ the guy was in front of him again, a giant grin on his face. He took the cup, looked at it and turned it around, expecting a phone number or a winky smiley or something other than:

Learn better pickup lines, come back later. Or don't. Anyway I'm not giving you my phone if that's what you expected.

Wally stopped dead on his tracks and went back to the cashier, where Dick stood, a smug grin on his face.

"Are you kidding me?" Wally almost slammed his hands down on the counter as he asked, reclaimed.

Dick snorted. "Yeah, well, you're not really smooth."

Wally raised his eyebrows. "Geez, it's not even that bad. I mean, it fits the situation, at least."

"That bad? Do you mean there's worst?"

Wally snorted this time. "Dude, you have no idea. I know enough bad pickup lines for 365 days of the year."

Dick raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Not that I use them or anything." he added quickly, stuttering.

Dick rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, I doubt they're any worst than that one. Seriously. I've heard some really bad pickup lines – but, that one? Just, wow."

Wally smirked and leaned forward into the counter, a daring look on his eyes.

"Okay, well, if I can prove to you that there's really worse than that, would you give me your number? At least go out with me once?"

Dick chuckled. "Needy much?"

"No. I just need one date to charm you, that's all," Wally said, grinning like the asshole he knew he was.

Dick laughed. Wow, okay, so maybe he kinda did like this kid?

"Sorry man, I just... came out of a long term relationship, and I don't think I'm quite ready to date again y'know?"

Wally's smile dropped. And it looked so cute.

"Oh, I get that. S'okay. You could've said that instead of blowing me away or whatever. I'm not a douche."

Wally gave him a sweet smile. And he was being so nice and understanding and cute, Dick knew he shouldn't have talked to him. He was starting to like him already.

"Well, I still think that line was bad, though. So it's not like I was lying," he told him.

Wally pondered for a moment. He had an idea.

"Okay. You can give me your uh, snapchat? That way you don't have to give me your number, and I can still prove to you my numerous amount of bad puns and pickup lines.

"Which, by the way, are actually the best since those are the ones that actually work."

Dick laughed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked like he was actually considering it, Wally knew he was close.

"Okay I – , you're funny, okay? I like you. But, uh, I honestly don't think I'm up for a relationship right now, sorry. We could be friends though?"

Dick's mouth was moving without his consent. Why was his mouth doing the exact opposite of what his brain was telling him to do?

But Wally grinned – ear to ear – and Dick felt his heart flutter and he knew he wanted to see that smile again. To be the cause of that smile.

"Awesome."

...

What was he even thinking? Wally wasn't even trying to be subtle about still being interested in him. He left the fact that he respected him and that he didn't want to date very clear , but he also made sure to let him know that the minute Dick started dating again he would be there. And he was already trying to 'score point in his favor', if that's what that could be called.

He received at least three snaps a day from Wally, each with really bad, flirty puns, like: "Are you from Starbucks? 'Cause I like you a late" or "Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world" which, actually, Dick had already heard.

The lines escalated, though, as the became more comfortable with each other, to things like "All this silverware, and you won't spoon me" or "All this campfires, yet you still don't want s'more." And it was actually hilarious.

There was this one time when he was hanging out with Artemis, Zatanna and M'gann. He left his phone on the table (that on itself was a mistake to begin with), and retired for the bathroom for just a minute. When he came back, all three girls were laughing on the couch and proceeded to look at him with smug smiles when they noticed his presence. Apparently, Wally had sent him a snap of him and a banana with the text "I find you a-peel-ing", and another with him and a bottle of vitamin pills that said "Doctor said I'm lacking vitamin u."

He mentally sighed in relief; at least it wasn't one like that F5 one (are you sitting on the F5 key? because that ass is refreshing) or any other about his ass, really. The guy had a lot of those, and Dick without doubt didn't need them knowing that.

Then, while he was trying to explain that he wasn't dating him, and that he was just a friend, Wally sent another of him running track that said "I relay want you."

Dick was flushed red, to say the least.

Once he made it clear that he was just a (weird) friend, he only got even more weirded out looks from his friends.

"Why don't you want to date him, though? He's cute. And he's totally into you." Zatanna asked him.

Dick sighed. "Well, you know Babs and I – "

" – aren't getting back together. Yeah, we know." Artemis interrupted him.

Dick rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know... It's not that. I just – I really thought Babs and I were heading somewhere completely different. And look where that got us."

"But it was mutual, right? I mean, you're still good friends and all." M'gann said cautiously.

"Yeah, but we – I – I thought we were really – " he pause, running a hand through his hair," I just don't want to go through that again, I guess."

He basically mumbled that last part, but it was cristal clear to all of them. Before anyone could reply, though, he added: "It's dumb, I know."

It wasn't like any of them knew what to say. Dick Grayson, the flirt – who'd even dated both Artemis and Zatanna for a while, and went back to being friends perfectly well – wanted a serious relationship? He'd dated many, many people in the time they'd known him (Artemis since middle school, Zatanna and M'gann since the start of highschool). It was understandable, though, since he and Barbara had been dating a year (give or take) and the breakup, as mutual as it was, was still hard on both of them. So yeah, they weren't really sure what to say.

"Maybe you and Barbara need to talk? Clear some things up. It's been a few months since you guys split up and it's about time you start seeing other people again." Artemis reasoned, "And it's not dumb, at all."

Dick didn't answer. It's not like he wanted to get back with her. Things between them just weren't exactly great and it was about time he got his best friend back.

"Yeah, maybe."

...

It was about 1:00 am when he got a text from Wally.

"I'm in a burrito lol," He said.

"It's so cozy,"He added, and Dick knew there was more to it because a) it was Wally, there's always more with Wally, and b) he could see the 'is typing' sign above. So he waited.

"It's missing something though," and then another one,"It almost feels like a brrito."

And then, "Because it's missing u."

He quickly sent another, "Sorry."

Dick laughed, wondering briefly if Wally was even apologising for the bad pun or the time. Either way he knew Wally wasn't even genuinely sorry.

His smile fell a little, and he replied Wally with: "You're not sorry."

"Yeah, probably not," Wally answered.

He smiled sadly, because, Wally was great. And he was only going to hurt him if he let this go on.

"Wally," he started, "I'm sorry."

Wally took a moment before he started typing. "What for?"

"I'm just a huge waste of time." He replied.

This time Wally was quick to say, "No you're not."

"Trust me Wally. I am."

"Well then, I love wasting my time."

Dick didn't reply.

...

A few months went by, and Wally and Dick kept on as if nothing had happened. One day, Barbara came to his apartment and told him that she'd met someone and he felt fifteen again. Like back when they went to school together; when they told each other everything, and were so platonic they could stay over to each others' place and their parents wouldn't even suspect anything going on between them. He saw the excitement on her face and smiled, genuinely grinned and encouraged her to tell him about it. They stayed up all night, sitting beside the window on his bedroom, until Dick got a notification on his phone.

"Uh, who's 'smoothwest'? Wait, is he the guy Artemis told me about?" she asked him, holding his phone. She unlocked it and opened the snap Wally'd sent.

"Uh, I guess. He's just a friend."

The snap had him holding a bunch of screws and bolts in his hand and it read, "Nice bolts, wanna screw?"

Barbara snorted.

"Wow, that was very femenine Babs."

She rolled her eyes but didn't let Dick's comment distract her from the subject, "Yeah, well, I don't care and also, friend my ass."

Dick frowned and tilted his head with a questioning look. Before Barbara could answer, though, Wally sent another snap. It had Wally and a t.v. playing Harry Potter in the background and the text said, "Are you sure you're a muggle 'cause that ass is magical."

Barbara raised her eyebrows and laughed, "Okay, maybe it's your ass."

Dick reached for his phone and looked at it and wow, okay, awkward.

"Oh my god you really like him," she said.

Dick opened his mouth to deny it completely, but he knew he couldn't lie to Barbara. Not even after all the time they hadn't treated each other.

"Dick, you're blushing."

"Am not." he answered indignantly, although by the heat he felt on his face he knew very well that he was.

Barbara's eyes were smiling as she scooted over to sit beside Dick and looked right into his eyes.

"Dick," she said,"you really do like him, don't you?"

Barbara's honest, expecting eyes, looking at him like that, like she just knew everything with one look – how could he lie to that?

"I – yeah, I think so."

That cheshire smile found it's way on Barbara's lips. It had been long since he'd seen it, who'd know he would actually miss it so much?

"So? He's literally just asking for it. Go over there. What are you waiting for?"

Barbara had always been very open and supportive, even if he wasn't completely defined yet – it still didn't make it any easier for Dick to deal with his sexuality. He wasn't ashamed of himself, but growing up with people breathing down your neck, waiting for you to do something controversial, well, needless to say, it left marks. So, yeah, Dick was very much blushing at Barbara's words.

"Uh, I uh, I don't know where he lives? Besides, we haven't even gone out or anything yet."

Her eyes went wide. Not unexpectedly, yet very insistently and irritably, Barbara made sure the subject was not dropped until Dick assured her he would go out with Wally the moment he had a chance.

...

Dick was chatting with Wally the next day, after Barbara left, and he mentioned something about being a mathlete.

"Oh, really? I'm good at mad" Wally answered, "U + I = 69"

"And that means I = 59 because U sure are a 10"

Dick snickered and hesitated only for a moment before replying,"No."

Then he added,"U + I = 145, as the atomic number for Uranium is 92 and the atomic number for I is 53," and then, " 'cause we have chemistry."

It took a whole two minutes before Wally even started typing.

"...Check your snapchat."

Surely enough, a moment after Wally sent that message, Dick received a snap from him. It was a shot from a picture, probably about two years old judging from Wally's appearance, with a barn and horses and it read, "I want to be in a stable relationship with you".

And Dick seriously questioned himself what he was waiting for.

...

Two minutes in Dick's shift the next day he spotted a mop of red hair walk in through the door. Green eyes, cute smile and freckles, yup, something he could definitely get used to.

"Hey," said Wally.

Dick smiled and Wally beamed, leaning on the counter just like the first day he'd been there.

"Hey," he answered.

"So," Wally stared, "can I pick you up at the end of your shift?"

Dick, looking delighted, leaned against the counter too, so that heir faces were mere centimetres apart.

"It's a date."

¹more like "in a flash"

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