Now I Know

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Major Crimes; James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

A/N: "Now I know," he rasped before kissing her as passionately as he dared. Her split lip seemed not to bother her as she responded with equal fervor.

A/N2: This follows canon with #Shandy so there's no hanky-panky but there is plenty of intimacy between the two. Enjoy! Leave a review, if y'all's feel so inclined. They are ever so lovely to read. #TodayIsLife

~~~~~PT~~~~~

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." H.P. Lovecraft

Pizza. It's such a simple dinner. Dough, cheese and sauce. Some toppings, if you want. But on this particular date night at home with Rusty, Sharon and Andy were having purist pizza. Three ingredients cooked to perfection in an old-time oven, delivered while it was still hot.

A glass of ginger ale sat next to both Rusty and Andy. A glass of wine was by Sharon. Though she preferred not to drink in his presence, she'd had a bit of a rough day and Andy had insisted on her having just the one glass.

As she took a sip, she noticed the uneasy quiet. Usually they'd discuss their day; each one taking turns so no one was left out or spoken over. But on this day, the pizza was called in by Rusty as Sharon and Andy left work.

Still wearing her suit, Sharon wrapped a few napkins around the folded-over crust to catch the grease; Andy had done the same. Rusty preferred an open slice sans napkins.

Sharon watched as Rusty held the pizza's point facing downwards towards the paper plate. She became transfixed as the grease began to slowly fall, drip by colorful drip, making a small plop as it landed. Reaching for another sip of wine, she caught sight of her sleeve. The end of it still held her blood, long since dried by then. Smeared through the red stains were faint lines of her pink lipstick. Once she removed the concealer during her preparation for bed, the bruise would be more visible. Removing the freshly applied lipstick would reveal the split lip.

Plop. Plop. A sip of wine. Plop. Plop. A sip of wine. She couldn't tear her eyes away from Rusty letting the grease drip off his slice of pizza nor could she resist the urge to sip the wine. Even with Andy now watching her with concern etched in his features.

He hadn't been there when it happened. Of course that day, of all days, he'd had another follow-up appointment with his doctor. The text had come in just as his name was called to go inside. There was no time to react let alone follow up as to why Provenza was letting him know rather than Sharon herself.

His blood pressure was higher than it should've been but he got a pass when he showed the Doctor the text. Everything else was fine. He'd already been cleared to return to active duty; this was merely the required follow-up appointment after returning to the field. Paperwork in hand to prove he was permanently cleared, he quickly walked to his car, texting for more information as he went. His pulse throbbed at the reply.

Unable to use lights and sirens in a justifiable manner, he spent his commute time complaining to himself: mumbling about Los Angeles traffic blowing; and muttering about Sharon's love of the rules and his love of her preventing him from getting through traffic quicker as a cop than as a civilian. Hitting the steering wheel, he reread Provenza's texts again. The first one was long for his partner: Husband was the doer. Captain figured it out. Called him on it. Took a hit. Some blood but not too bad. She hurt the SOB. The next one was more like it, short and to the point: Wasn't supposed to tell you. His partner was now avoiding his texts and calls. Not daring to call his girlfriend, he stewed until a Traffic Uni recognized him and cleared him with his colleagues. That took care of the next three intersections. Parking at PAB, Andy realized local roads had taken him much longer than the highway part of his commute. LA traffic blows, he muttered as he impatiently hit the call button for the elevator.

Practically racing into the Murder Room of the Major Crimes Division, he intended to go straight to Sharon's office. Provenza had other ideas since Asst Chief Taylor was in there with her. Heading over to Electronics, they discovered Buzz had the video cued to the part of the interview he knew Andy would want to see. Without hesitation, he sat down next to Buzz, his gaze glued to the screen as Sharon and Amy walked in.

It was a notification; it should've been easy. A woman reported missing by her distraught husband a week prior was found by hikers. Dr Morales put time of death approximately the exact time she disappeared.

Captain Raydor took the lead in questioning the husband after Detective Sykes read him his Miranda Rights. Once satisfied with his answers and wanting to see his reaction to news of his wife's death and subsequent discovery that morning in a shallow grave, the Captain nodded at Sykes. Upon hearing the words, the man's calm demeanor changed over to a crying, broken-down widow then, as he stood up, confusion seemed to set in. After the third time of running his hands through his hair and wondering how they found her, Captain Raydor stood up, moved closer to him, arms crossed, feet spread apart for balance, and sternly asked the grieving husband if he intended for his wife not to ever be found. A harsh of course escaped from deep within his throat as his arm rose up and he backhanded her across the right cheek and mouth.

Instinct took over and she stomped down hard on his foot. As he cried out in pain, she twisted his arm back and pushed him roughly over the table for Sykes to handcuff him. Without thinking, she wiped her mouth with the end of her sleeve once she noticed a few drops of blood fall onto the table. Plop. Plop.

Andy could feel the pride swell in his chest as he watched Sharon handle herself so well on her own. He could tell from the expression on Amy's face that she too was quite impressed. It came as no surprise to him to see the Captain sit back down and proceed to interrogate the suspect about the events leading up to his wife's death. He was willing to write down his confession if he was to be offered a deal. Assuring him she'd contact the DDA, Captain Raydor reminded him that any deal would involve the assault on her as well. He nodded his approval and she left the room as he began to write. Buzz turned off the video and Andy went to to see if Taylor was gone.

Finding him still in there, having what seemed like a regular friendly conversation, Andy pulled out his paperwork with the final clearance from his doctor. Taking it, Taylor gave his best to the Captain and upon seeing Lt Provenza, told him to get the after-action reports done quickly and send everyone home. They weren't to return until the start of their regular shift the next morning.

Wanting to check on Sharon personally, Andy stayed behind, taking in her appearance. Assuring him she was fine, she asked him if he was still going to her place for dinner after work. An affirmative nod earned him a small smile, a promise they'd speak then and a reminder that he'd gone to the crime scene thus needed to write his report along with the others.

Having finished his report, he requested and was granted permission to run an errand he'd forgotten about in his quest to ensure she was safe and not seriously injured. Returning just as the others were wrapping up, he settled in to wait for Sharon to finish signing off on their paperwork. She told him it'd take no more than an hour to complete; thirty minutes later, she was standing by his desk with all of her belongings.

Their fingers entwined as they walked to the elevator. When he went to hold her as they waited for it to arrive at their floor, she refused and merely repeated she'd see him at home and they'd talk then.

Now here they were, having the quietest dinner they'd ever had with Andy observing Sharon as she watched the grease fall on to the plate. Plop. Plop. A sip of wine. Plop. Plop. A sip of wine. Finally Rusty realized what was happening and ate the slice quickly then announced he was meeting Gus for coffee and dessert.

Andy started cleaning up as Sharon nodded to Rusty and reminded him to be careful as always. Once she left the dining room, Andy assured her son that he'd take care of her and advised him to try to have a good time with Gus.

Locking the door behind the kid, he then went in search of his girlfriend. Needing some time alone, Sharon asked Andy to give her a few minutes before he came in. Going to his car to retrieve his bag from the trunk ended up giving her ten minutes to get herself together enough to let him in the next time he knocked on her bedroom door.

Finding her sitting on her bed, face in her hands, he remained by the door. With nothing else to do to set his mind at ease, he quietly locked it. As if on cue, she stood up and walked over to him. Holding onto her tightly, he asked why she wouldn't let him hold her earlier; if it was because they were at work even though their relationship was anything but secret.

Her answer was soft; he strained to hear it. She didn't want him to let go so it had to wait. And then the pizza was there at home already, so it had to wait again. But now he didn't have to, unless he wanted to. Assuring her he wasn't letting go until the morning made her finally look at him. Motioning towards his bag, he told her all he wanted to do was hold her as they fell asleep, nothing else, and wake up with her to start their day together.

Taking his hand, Sharon led Andy to sit on her bed with her. She was worried about his reaction, his blood pressure, and his propensity for driving too fast if he found out before he was back in the office. He admitted Provenza's text scared the hell out of him and his pressure spiked but it leveled out as soon as he saw her in one piece.

Sitting facing each other now, she reached out and trailed her finger down his neck, the side on which he had surgery. Moving closer, she kissed where she remembered the bandage being placed. It calmed her to know he was still alive. Her incident was minor, nothing really, in comparison to his.

Wrapping her in a hug, he pulled her as close to himself as he could. Everything was dawning on him at once. They loved each other but they could lose one another at any time. The fear he felt learning she was hurt must've one-tenth the fear she felt first upon learning about his injury and then learning about his hospitalization and subsequent need for surgery when the clot moved upwards towards his brain.

"Now I know," he rasped before kissing her as passionately as he dared. Her split lip seemed not to bother her as she responded with equal fervor.

In between kisses, they whispered how much they loved one another and how frightening it was to each of them to face the possibility of losing the other. He got her to agree that just sleeping together would be considered their next step and they'd continue to do it regularly. She let him know that she was glad he was staying over because she needed him there for her. Quickly realizing her slip up, she corrected it, changing it to her wanting him to be there with her. Sharon's eyes misted over as Andy told her she could need him because he'd always be there for her. That was a promise he intended to keep and he really hoped that one day she'd grow to trust him enough to believe him.

And to make love with him, she had mused aloud to which he agreed would be nice but then he reminded her that wasn't the sole purpose of them dating. They were very close friends who fell in love; that was the sole purpose of them dating and hoping for a good, long future together.

When her eyes began to glisten even more, he peppered her lips with gentle butterfly kisses then held her tightly to him again. Apologizing for taking so long, for moving so slowly at their ages, and for making him think she didn't trust him when she did only served to bring forth his emotions to the surface. Looking at Sharon, his eyes just as wet and glassy as hers, Andy told her to never apologize for being true to herself, for protecting herself even from him, or for learning from the lessons of her past. He knew her hesitation didn't stem from him alone, that a lot of it was created by Jack but, he pointed out, he was aware of that when he asked her out. And he's still glad he finally worked up the nerve to ask her and that she was brave enough to agree.

They remained there for a long time holding on to each other. She explained that she wasn't worried about the minor injury she'd received but rather the effect it would have on his health once he found out, especially if he did while at a doctor's appointment. She also shared her concern that the foot stomp maneuver was more in line with her self-defense training than her FID training regarding acceptable use-of-force tactics. When he outright laughed at her, he was rewarded with the first genuine smile since he saw her after the incident.

Standing up, she offered him ice cream if they could change right then. She'd had enough of her work clothes and wanted nothing more than to slip into soft leggings and an equally soft pullover sweater.

Grabbing his bag, he offered to change in her closet which brought the first chuckle out of her and he knew they were back on the right track.

They spent the rest of their time alone in the living room holding each other, kissing and talking about any topic that came to mind. Once Rusty came in, Sharon explained their new arrangement of Andy spending the night so he wasn't surprised to see him there in the morning and, more importantly, wasn't surprised to see him come out of her bedroom.

As they had cuddled on the couch, she had decided she didn't want their children to know exactly when they became intimate and he had agreed, glad this offered them a way around something so personal for them.

Once back inside her bedroom, Sharon removed her sweater only to reveal a form-fitting shirt beneath it. Amusement lit up her face as he coughed and patted his chest. Announcing he'd be sleeping in the sweats and Henley he'd been wearing since they changed, he went to brush his teeth, leaving her time to replace the shirt with one of her very comfortable nightgowns that did not look remotely romantic at all. She learned quickly that he thought she looked great in anything and was glad she'd left the leggings on.

He was already in bed when she returned from her nightly routine in the bathroom. From previous drop-ins to chat during his recovery, he knew her side for sleeping. As she got under the covers and turned to fully face him, his hand instinctively moved towards her face. With the back of his fingers, he caressed her bruised cheek and flitted softly over the split in her upper and lower lip.

Andy's eyes took on sadness as he realized for the first time that day what the actual physical damage truly was. Wanting to reassure him, Sharon slowly moved her hand to caress his face, moving it towards the back of his neck as she leaned in to kiss him. There were gentle nips and licks, a slow exploration of mouths amidst dancing tongues, and finally an explosion of emotion from both of them leading to a fiery, passionate kiss neither had intended.

Lying on top of her, he whispered how much he loved her and had worried about her. She returned his sentiments before kissing him again.

Feeling an extraordinary pull on her heart at the emotion in his eyes, she admitted she needed him there for her that night. He repeated his promise to always be there for her as he rolled them back over, tucking her into his tight embrace as she snuggled on his chest.

The last thing he mumbled, thus the last thing she heard, before they both drifted off to sleep was, "Now I know."

[The End]

A/N3: Thanks for reading!

A/N4: Happy belated birthday to ameddancesforyou and Glistening Sun. Hope you both enjoyed your days.