Baby NozoEli?!

"Eli, we should have a baby." NozoEli decided to have a baby. The rest of Muse meet the baby. One-shot. Rated T because who knows why.

I forgot the disclaimer.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Love Live! School Idol Project and never will. If I owned it, everything would be shit.

"What."

"What?"

"You just said?"

"I said 'Eli, we should have a baby'."

"Right." Eli coughed awkwardly. "Uh, yes, of course."

"You really mean it?" Nozomi knew she didn't mean it, but she also knew Eli would refuse if the conversation dragged on any longer. "Come on! Let's go get a baby."

"What."

"Oh my goodness it's a baby holy shit I can't believe my best friends got a baby," Nico blurted out as soon as she saw the tiny human.

"Nico-chan? Can we go, uh, sit on the, you know, the couch?" Maki asked, feeling very afraid of the demon spawn in the crib.

"Maki-chan, how do you expect to be a doctor when you're afraid of babies?" Nico frowned at her wife.

Maki looked at the baby. The baby stared back, into her soul. Maki ran from the room, screaming in horror.

"Honestly, that Maki-chan is only useful for sex."

"Oh, she has pretty blue eyes," Hanayo commented.

"She's so tiny nya!" Rin said (shouted).

The baby cried.

"Oh no, Kayo-chin what do we do?"

Hanayo picked up the baby and rocked her slowly, cooing and humming a lullaby.

"Kayo-chin how did you do that nya?!"

"It just came to me, I'm not sure myself."

"She stopped crying!"

"Do you want to hold her?"

"Can I nya?"

Hanayo nodded and passed the baby to Rin.

Rin dropped her. On the floor.

"Aww, she's so cute!" Kotori smiled at the baby and played peek-a-boo with her.

The baby giggled and wiggled in her crib.

"Umi-chan! Come see her!"

"Uhh, no thanks."

Kotori put her finger in the crib and the baby grabbed it.

Umi appeared next to her at once. She took Kotori's finger and started observing it quickly.

"You're okay, right? It didn't hurt you, right?"

"Umi-chan, calm down, she's just a baby, she's harmless."

"You can't know for certain." Umi turned to look at the baby.

"You, the thing in a crib, I will crush you if you dare touch even a hair on Kotori's body." Umi threatened.

"Umi-chan, calm down!" Kotori shouted desperately.

The baby burst into tears.

"This is... This is... A loaf of bread!" Honoka exclaimed.

"No, that's a baby," Nico stated.

"Y-Yes, it's a baby, hahaha..." Eli said nervously.

"Eli, stop being silly," Nozomi scolded.

"By the way, where's Maki-chan, Rin-chan, Hanayo-chan, Umi-chan and Kotori-chan?"

"Maki ran away," Nico said, then muttered "I'm gonna teach her a lesson tonight..."

"Rin ran away as well, and Hanayo went after her. I think Rin was crying, I'm not sure why though," Nozomi said.

"Umi scolded it- I mean, the baby, ehehe, and Nico forbid her from e-entering the room," Eli stuttered. "She wanted K-Kotori to stay close to her, so now both of them are o-outside."

Honoka nodded in understanding, then turned to the baby again.

"...I want to eat bread." She said under her breath, staring at the baby hungrily.

Honoka was forbidden to enter the room ever again until the baby stopped looking like a loaf of bread.