AN: This is my contribution to our 2015 Christmas fic exchange. This is for Devereauxpoi!
Thanks for the beta SWWoman. You rock!
The characters do not belong to me.
Joss shivered as the bitter cold crept into the car. She gazed into the bottom of the thermos cup as if willing it to miraculously refill with the hot coffee she and John shared on the way up to Chappaqua. However, they didn't make it to their destination. The Charger they were driving broke down in a wooded area in route as they were traveling to work on another number.
Joss had recently started working again at the precinct after months of rehabilitation. The shooting had slowed her but she was determined to get back to her job and her life. Unfortunately she was already going stir crazy as neither the doctor nor the new captain had given the green light for her to go back in the field. Being a paper pusher was not Joss's cup of tea and John was well aware of it. She griped about her frustration to him on more than one occasion. He decided to invite her along for the trip upstate to keep an eye on Jake and Sophie Mendez, a couple who had been targeted to be eliminated. While Harold Finch worked with the Machine to figure out who was after them, John and Joss decided to take a more direct approach and head to their hometown in Chappaqua.
Now here they were stuck on a road surrounded by thick trees and brush with no lights or cell phone towers for miles. Their phones were useless and it was now dark. The road had been plowed a couple of days prior but now fresh snow was falling and it was only getting heavier as it came down on their car. They were both a bit nervous about the fix they were in - yet neither would admit it to the other.
John was frustrated with the whole situation. He had checked under the hood and all he could determine was that it was the battery. Son of a bitch. Something as small as a battery? Honestly, he was now feeling guilty that he asked Joss to come with him. She had just started working again after recovering from a bullet that was meant for him. He had not forgiven himself for almost losing the woman he had fallen in love with or for putting her through months of physical and mental anguish. Thinking about it, John lifted his head to the roof of the car as if in deep thought. He didn't want the tears to well up. He let out a sigh. He looked at Joss sitting in the passenger seat holding the cup between her hands, reached out and took her left hand.
"I'm sorry Joss," he said in a low tone.
Small talk was something Joss and John never did in their relationship. Joss was always no nonsense when it came to John, but with a hint of fear beginning to creep up in her stomach, she decided to broach a topic that had been burning for at least 4 months now.
"This brings me back to another night not long ago when we were being chased around the city by corrupt cops and the mafia," she said with a light chuckle as she gripped his hand. Her dimple appeared briefly as she looked up at John.
"The last thing I wanted to do is put you in harms' way," John said.
"You didn't force me to take this trip with you John. What did you tell me that night?" Joss questioned. She answered before he could. "No one else I'd rather be with," she said looking him directly in the eyes.
"And I meant every word," John said sincerely as he met her gaze.
Joss was a little nervous to ask the next question but since they were finally going down the path that should have been taken a long time ago, she had to. She gripped his hand tighter as she continued.
"And that kiss…? Did you mean that too?"
John turned to her as he sat in the driver's seat.
"I meant everything I said and did that night, Joss," he said in such a determined way that it made Joss's stomach flutter.
To emphasize the point, he took her hand and raised it to his lips and gently kissed it.
The dimple in her cheek reappeared and he noticed a softening in her eyes. He loved that he was capable of making such a strong woman blush.
She looked down at her lap and pushed further. "You know I feel the same way, don't you John? So don't feel any guilt about me being out here with you. I got in this car willingly; because I wanted to...I wanted to be with you."
She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb.
Her touch was almost electric.
John noticed Joss shiver.
"Joss, I'm sure we'll be okay for the night...if we get a little closer and cuddle up. I can go in search of help in the morning," he said a little sheepishly.
Joss raised an eyebrow.
"Umm hmm."
"I'll be the perfect gentleman...if you want me to be," John said with a smirk.
Joss met his smirk with her own.
"On my honor," he said with a wider grin as he raised 3 fingers giving the Boy Scout's salute.
"Yeah, wrong hand wise guy," she quipped back.
Just then, she shivered once again.
"Well, the back seat would help us get a little closer. It is getting to be a bit unbearable in here already," Joss admitted.
She unbuckled her seatbelt and shifted around to crawl to the back of the car.
"Well that was graceful," she groaned as she fell forward and ended up laying across the entire back seat.
John snickered as he followed behind her. He landed on her hand as she was pulling herself up.
"Ouch."
John was even less graceful as he fell, his long legs shifting awkwardly.
When he sat up, he leaned forward to move the front seats up all the way forward to create more space for the both of them as they sat in the back. He then grabbed Joss's hand that he had accidentally injured and began rubbing it between both of his hands. The touch was protective at first but slowly became sensual. He cupped her hand and blew his warm breath on it and lightly kissed it. He continued rubbing without a word and Joss felt a heat between her legs that she tried to ignore. But she couldn't ignore it. She slowly drew herself closer to John. She could feel the heat his body was emanating.
John's heart started pounding a bit harder when Joss moved in closer to him. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her even closer. He kissed the top of her head. God, he loved this woman and wanted to protect her in any way possible.
She was trying to remain calm but thoughts of her son began creeping into the forefront of her mind. She tried to tell herself they would get out of this but the cold was now biting and it was harder to distract herself and John. She wrapped her other arm around his torso and placed her head on his chest as he leaned back against the door.
"I'm thinking about my son John," she said forlornly.
John felt a sharp pang in his chest but just a quickly recovered and felt a determination that they were going to make it through the night.
He lifted her chin so she could look him in the eye.
"We're going to make it through this Joss. I promise," he said sternly.
He saw the concern in her eyes and bent down to kiss her gently on the lips.
He knew they had to move in order to keep warm. He just hoped she would follow his lead and didn't feel as if he was taking advantage of the situation. He loved her. He stopped short of saying those words to her. He attempted to show her every time they were together. From the simplest gestures such as opening the car door for her to leaving the morgue without her so he could act as a decoy for the cops chasing them. He knew she loved him. She would never have stepped in front of Simmons that hellish night to protect him if she hadn't. He knew she loved him; she made him a better man and he told her that. He loved her and he would keep her safe tonight. He would keep this promise to her as well.
Finch had to force himself to remain calm when he was unable to get in touch with either John or Joss. He attempted to call both of their phones several times, but to no avail. He could tell by tracking their car's movements that they had stopped. After several moments he realized the car must have stalled. He had an idea of the general location of their car and used the machine to try and pinpoint their whereabouts. It wasn't going to be easy but he was not going to let his friends down. Yes, he was concerned for the numbers but he was more concerned about keeping his friends alive. He was going to do what he had to in order to get them safely home.
John's gaze never left Joss's face as she snuggled closer into him. He gripped her tighter. The rim of his eyes were red. As much as Joss protested he still regretted asking her along for this mission. He kissed her on the lips again and this time it was slower and more sensual. Despite the fact they both were feeling the bone chilling cold, the kiss was long and passionate. John nipped Joss's bottom lip and pulled her into him even closer as he continued to kiss her deeply. Joss dipped her tongue into his mouth and quickly withdrew it as her hand cupped his face.
Joss felt John's erection as she lay against him. John was unashamed at the reaction he was having to her. Her hands began to caress his shoulders, arms and torso. When her hands reached his stomach she felt him quiver beneath her touch. She became more resolute in their fight to keep warm. She massaged his stomach and moved down to kiss him there. She began to unbuckle his belt when John grabbed her hands.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
Joss simply removed her hands from his and unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and began caressing him. His shaft grew harder as she released it from his underwear and began stroking him. John let out a low groan as she caressed his length and it continued to grow harder and longer. If this was anywhere but here, at a different time and place she would secretly be rejoicing at the size of the man. John was endowed indeed. Though she did love him there was something that clicked inside her. It was almost business. It was life or death. She was focused on both of them staying alive. She wrapped her mouth around him and he let out a loud groan.
"Oh Joss," he moaned.
She continued her ministrations, licking his head, trailing his shaft with his tongue, until John couldn't take it any longer. He was slick in her mouth but he needed to be inside her. He lifted her up and sat her on his lap and began massaging her breasts. He unbuttoned her shirt slowly. Joss helped him as her bra was revealed; a lacy, lavender piece of fabric that allowed him to see her hardened nipples beneath. He unclasped the front clasps quickly and began massaging her full breasts and rolling her nipples with his thumbs. In the dark they both were silhouettes but he could still see her glowing skin and the sensual look in her eyes. Joss's head fell back as he continued to caress her. John's hands halted when he felt the jaggedness of the scar on her chest. He gently touched it and she hissed. All these months later and it was still tender. The surgeon told her it would be that way for a while. It was such an intimate moment between them. John couldn't help himself as he raised himself up to kiss it. He licked it and continued to lightly kiss it and Joss felt herself getting wet between her thighs. She felt so loved. What started out as a moment of desperation had become such a loving experience. She couldn't wait for him to be inside her.
John wanted to Joss to trust him completely. He continued kissing her. He took her right breast into his mouth, then her left. He licked and kissed down her stomach. John gripped her waist and Joss unbuckled her belt and lowered her slacks and removed them along with her panties. John's fingers moved down to her behind and he steadied her as she moved in front of him. He moved his right hand between her legs and inserted a finger inside her. He felt how wet she had become. He wanted her as she moaned from the movement of his finger within her. He rubbed the nub between her legs and she groaned even louder.
Joss placed her hands on John's shoulders pushing him back against the seat and she crawled hovering over him. She bent down to kiss him deeply once again.
"Joss please," John whispered.
Both of his hands were now back on her butt as he slowly raised his hips toward her. Now fully erect he was anxious to enter her. Joss smiled looking down at him and slowly straddled him, lowering herself onto his shaft. He filled her. John groaned as he felt her walls surrounding him. She was tight and wet and it was all he could do to keep from impaling her. He wanted her to set their rhythm. She moved up and down setting their pace. He felt good moving inside her. He met her thrusts with his own and she moaned with each as he filled her completely. Grunts, sighs, pants and curses filled the car until Joss felt a loud moan. John felt her walls constricting around him as she came. Joss fell forward and John held her as he continued thrusting inside her. She continued to moan in John's ear until he came inside her.
John grabbed the back of Joss's neck as he whispered her name in her ear. He pulled out of her and kissed her deeply once again; his tongue grazing her lips and teeth pulling her forward against him. They looked into each other's eyes for a short moment. They redressed as quickly as possible to keep warm. John turned Joss around after they were fully dressed and laid her against him so her back rested on his chest. He then wrapped his legs and arms around her to shield her from the cold. They laid there for a long while without saying a word. John would graze Joss's ear and nip it. She would move her head as if startled. He noted that she was ticklish there and planned to revisit that spot when they were safe in a warm bed. He kissed behind her ear, the top of her head and squeezed her. She felt the love emanating from him. She rubbed his arms as they looked out into the darkness and watched the snow continue to fall.
Finch was able to hire a snow plowing company after he saw how heavy the snow was falling. He gave the owner of Thomas & Sons the directive to get to the road where John and Joss were stuck on as soon as possible. It was already passed midnight and he was sure they were struggling to keep warm.
Unfortunately, it was too late for John and Joss to help the Mendez family. Mr. Jake Mendez's gambling debts cost the family dearly. His dealings with the mafia upstate lead to not only his own death, but his wife's demise as well. Harold was frustrated and shaken by the loss. He also knew he had to grow his team. He couldn't simply rely only on John, Joss, Lionel and Sameen. It was time to build. His mission of trying to protect irrelevants would not end.
The problem would be how to explain to John and Joss they didn't make it in time. Although it was not their fault they couldn't get through the weather, he knew they would not take the news very well.
"Oh God!" Joss yelled as she orgasmed for the third time that night. Her hand hitting the door she trembled beneath John.
When they felt the cold in the car once again, they held on to dear life. It always started off with gentle kisses and ended in a rush of panting, groaning and shouts of expletives.
"Shit Joss!"
John's back arched as he came inside her again. She laid underneath him, as he awkwardly hovered above her. He slowly slid out of her and continue to stare in her eyes.
He put on his underwear and pants and helped her back on with hers.
They sat up in the back seat, satiated and warm, at least for the moment. John wrapped his arm around her again. The snow had let up a bit shortly after midnight and it was now 4:00 am. John was making plans to start walking for help as soon as the sun made its first appearance.
Joss was nervous about that plan and let it be known.
"Joss, I've got to get help," he said.
"And John, you know that it's too dangerous for you to do that," she insisted.
"We just can't stay here…"
"We have to. I'm sure plows will be coming to clear the road," she said hopefully.
Joss lowered her eyes as if she was trying to gather strength and uttered something under her breath.
"Please God help."
"What did you say?" John asked.
Joss just shook her head.
"Just a little prayer."
"Hmmm. I've given up praying a long time ago," he answered.
John had seen too many horrible things; had done too many horrible things in his lifetime. Too many and it destroyed his faith.
Joss had seen horrible things and it drew her closer to God.
"Well, we can use all the help we can get John," she said looking over at him.
"Please," was all he could manage.
They snuggled closer to each other and sat in silence.
Mr. Thomas and Ted, his assistant, was on the job at daybreak. Finch had given them strict orders to move expeditiously but be mindful of the vehicle that was stuck on the road they were plowing. For the amount of money they were being paid, they were determined to find Finch's employees.
John and Joss were passionately kissing, Joss pulling up his shirt as he was unzipping her slacks.
"Mmm John," she purred as John kissed her neck.
John suddenly stopped kissing her.
"What's wrong?"
"Shhh."
Joss eyebrows furrowed.
"Hear that?"
"What?"
John heard the low roar of the plow.
Joss heard it a few seconds later.
"Good ol' Finch," John said with a smirk.
Ted followed the plow in his full sized sedan. It took them 45 minutes before they came across the disabled car. John stepped out of the car first and then assisted Jocelyn out. Both looked as though they were breathing a sigh of relief. Ted saw the Detective look up at her companion with a smirk. He could tell they weren't just the reclusive billionaire's employees. These two weren't just coworkers or friends. They were more than that. At least they had each other to get through this. He knew it had to have been a frightening experience.
"Mr. Finch sent us to help get you two outta here," Mr. Thomas said to Joss and John.
"And we're grateful," Joss said.
"Thanks guys."
Ted chimed in, "I've got a warm car here for you two if you're interested."
Without a word Joss headed toward the car with John following her. They sat in the back of the sedan and once again John wrapped his arm around Joss. At this point, John didn't care who knew about his feelings for Joss. She was briefly taken aback, but settled into John's arms. She looked up at him and laid her head on his chest. They both fell asleep on the ride home.
They got back to New York City during the late afternoon. Harold was relieved when John finally answered his phone.
"Mr. Reese, I'm relieved to hear you and the Detective are alright," Harold said.
"Glad to hear your voice Harold. Joss and I are...good. We'll see you in a few hours," John assured him before disconnecting the call.
Harold was waiting for John a block away from the precinct. John walked Joss to her car and she drove him to where Finch was awaiting him. They both stepped out of her car to meet Finch as he was standing next to his Lincoln. He had a faint smile on his face. He was happy to see his friends were no worse for wear. But he detected something had definitely changed between the two of them.
As John and Joss were walking John paused. Joss looked up at him wondering what the problem was.
"I'll see you soon Joss," John seemed to be reassuring her.
"I know you keep your promises John," she said with small smile.
Joss turned to walk back to her car. She was exhausted and couldn't wait to get in a hot bath, grab a quick bite to eat and turn in early.
As she began walking away John grabbed her hand.
She turned to him and he cupped her cheek. Playtime was over. He was done hiding his feelings for her. He gently kissed her lips and released her, turning toward Finch. Joss simply smiled, got in her car and headed toward the safe house which had become her new home.
Finch stood by the side of the car looking at John with his mouth open. He chose not to ask questions at that moment. He had an idea what happened between the two of them. It only made sense. He was just happy to have them back home. He'd wait to see how their relationship unfolded over time.
It was 9:00 pm and Joss was watching TV, finishing up a turkey wrap and a cup of tea. She looked around the room and was grateful to be home. Taylor helped her with putting up the Christmas decorations in the townhouse a week ago. Since the shooting Joss pared down the decorations from previous years. She was now about simplifying and removing as much clutter from her life as possible. Co-parenting a teenage son with Paul, being a homicide detective in one of the largest cities in the U.S. and having John in her life brought with it enough complications. She had a new perspective on life and was adjusting. Overall, she was content.
Joss was wearing a tank t-shirt and yoga pants ready for bed when the doorbell rang. She was wondering who the hell it was. She was exhausted and wanted to go to bed for a long night of sleep. She knew it couldn't be Taylor. They'd arranged for him to come and spend a couple of nights with her but that wouldn't be for another couple of days. She kept her service weapon on the table near the door. She padded over to the door and peered through the peephole to see John on the other side.
It was clear he had gone home and showered. His hair was combed back and he was dressed casually in a pair of jeans, leather motorcycle jacket, a long sleeve polo shirt and a pair of loafers.
She opened the door and John stepped passed her without saying a word.
"John, what's wrong?"
She wasn't expecting to see him so soon. And, he appeared to have been drinking.
He sat on her couch and pulled out the small bottle of whiskey from his jacket pocket. He looked at it and flipped it in his hands.
"The Mendez family was executed," he said.
John opened the bottle and drank from it.
Joss sat next to him on the sofa. Her eyes saddened.
"John, we're not God. We just couldn't reach them…"
"Still doesn't take away the guilt I feel Joss."
"You know we won't be able to save everyone. We can only do what's humanly possible."
"You see that star on top of the Christmas tree John?"
John turned his head to focus on the tree top but remained quiet.
Joss continued. "It symbolizes the north star. For thousands of years it has helped many people find their way; acted as a guide when a poor soul lost their way."
"John, whether you accept it or not, you have become a light in the darkness, just like that star. You've helped so many people and you have the opportunity to help more."
He continued looking at the star as his eyes welled up.
John sighed.
He touched Joss's thigh. "I'm tired," John said just above a whisper. "I didn't want…" His voice trailed off.
"I want to sleep with you tonight Joss," he looked into her eyes.
She understood. She had been saddened when she heard the news about the Mendez family although she wasn't surprised to hear of their demise.
She took John by the hand and they went to her bedroom. He took off his jacket and she helped him off with his shirt and jeans. He stood before her in only his boxer briefs and t-shirt. They went to either side of the bed and crawled beneath the sheets. They met each other in the center of the bed and he pulled her into him. Her warm skin felt good next to his.
He kissed her forehead and in a manner of minutes he dozed off to sleep. She lay there listening to his breathing, smelling the whiskey on his breath. Even in her disappointment with their failed mission she felt comforted by the man lying next to her. She figured this would be the first of many nights of being together. For better or worse. Either way, she was glad he was there with her. She lay there with his arm wrapped around her staring up at the ceiling. They were starting a new chapter of their lives together. She finally closed her eyes and whispered "Merry Christmas, John." Joss went to sleep knowing they were going to be okay.