*So, this sort of popped into my head while I was trying to wrap up Sixth Year Switch. As usual, I got distracted. This will be a relatively short diversion.

Harry and Ron attend a Ministry sponsored silent auction. Harry, hoping to revive a failing relationship, bids on a romantic, private cooking lesson for two. He gets a little more than he bargained for when he wins. MxM Drarry

oOo

"Hermione's gonna kill me," Ron chuckled. "I bid far too much money on that Quidditch equipment."

"It's for charity, Ron. I hardly think Hermione would be upset," Harry said.

Harry and Ron stood in front of yet another display on which to bid. The silent auction organized by the Ministry was sure to raise a lot of money. Five years after the war, there were still plenty of families struggling to get back on their feet.

"Yeah, I guess. We've been fortunate to find work at the Ministry. I'm happy to help, but I wish it weren't so close to Christmas."

"So, bid on things you can give Hermione for Christmas," Harry told him. "Of course, all of this wouldn't be necessary if those wretched goblins would loosen their purse strings a bit and help out."

Ron shrugged. "At least we'll get something for our donations. What's this one?"

Harry read the card in front of the bidding list.

"Kiss the Cook is offering a romantic cooking lesson for two. One of our professional, classically trained chefs will come to your home to teach you and your partner how to prepare a gourmet meal together– Muggle style. The menu will include filet mignon, roasted new potatoes, fresh vegetable medley, and creamy béarnaise sauce." He turned to Ron. "Sounds delicious."

"Did you say Muggle style cooking?" Ron frowned.

"Yeah."

"Why Muggle style? What's so great about that?"

Cocking his head, Harry thought. "Well, it takes longer to cook that way. I suppose it could be fun to cook with your lover. You'd have to spend quite a bit of time together."

"Hm. Maybe I'll bid on this. I mean, Hermione grew up Muggle. She might really like this. Although, I'm pants at cooking."

"But that's the point Ron. A chef will come and show you how to do everything." Harry pursed his lips. "Maybe I should bid on this. Clive and I haven't been doing so well lately. It seems we argue about the smallest things. We could really use a romantic evening doing something fun."

"Oi, I just said I was going to bid on it."

"It's an auction," Harry laughed. "May the best man win."

Harry looked at the previous amount bid and added five galleons in his own. Ron frowned and bid five galleons more than him.

Rolling his eyes, Harry tugged Ron's arm. "Let's see what else there is."

They continued walking around the ballroom, stopping at every table display to see if it was something in which they were interested. By the end of the evening, Ron had bid on a complete set of Quidditch equipment, a beautiful ruby necklace, and a vacation getaway in Switzerland, in a addition to the cooking lesson. Harry bid on new bedroom furniture, a state of the art magical camera, and also the cooking lessons.

The pair passed up on many other popular items, such as the large gift basket from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Each of them occasionally left the other's side to surreptitiously add to their bid for the cooking lesson.

By the end of the evening, guests had filled up on snacks and alcohol, and they were feeling very generous. Harry made a last minute bid on new, fine quality robes at Madam Malkins thinking he might give it as a gift to Clive if he had the winning bid.

When the bidding closed, the guests gathered around to find out who had the highest bids and would be taking home the prizes.

To his surprise, Ron had the highest bid for the ruby necklace. He was expected to make payment on the spot and take his item. After shelling out galleons he wished he hadn't spent, he accepted the gold necklace which was wrapped up in a box with ribbon and sparkles.

"You look a bit pale, mate. Are you all right?" asked Harry.

"Yeah, I was sort of hoping someone else would get that one. That way, I could at least tell Hermione that I tried to get it for her."

Harry grinned. "But this way, you can say you won it just for her."

"I suppose. But if I win anything else, I'll have spent way more than I told her I would."

Harry clapped him on the back. "It's all for the greater good."

He was in a fine mood until the furniture, the camera and the robes from Madam Malkin's were all scooped out from under him.

"Well, I'm not having much luck tonight," he lamented.

"They're announcing the Quidditch equipment," Ron gasped. He slumped in relief as someone else's name was called.

"Ron, you need to calm down. You know, if you win that cooking lesson, I'll be happy to take it off your hands."

"No way."

"But I thought you didn't want to spend any more money."

"I didn't, but Hermione would probably like that more than the necklace. Why don't you take that off my hands?"

"I can't give Clive women's jewelry. He's a bit fussy, but he's not a ponce."

"Next item up," a woman announced. "Ooh, I nearly bid on this one myself. But Ministry officials weren't allowed," she chuckled. "A romantic cooking lesson for two, courtesy of Kiss the Cook catering. The winning bid goes to . . . Mr. Harry Potter."

Harry grinned at Ron. "That's a stroke of luck, for both of us."

He happily went and paid his galleons, more than he intended,but hopefully well worth it. In return he was given instructions to contact the burgeoning business to arrange a date and time for one of the chefs to arrive for the lesson.

"I think this is just what Clive and I need. An evening learning something new together. We've been doing too many things apart from one another."

oOo

Harry arranged to have a chef come to his flat the following weekend. He was nearly bursting with excitement when Clive showed up and he announced his surprise.

"You want me to cook my own meal?" Clive sneered. "I thought you were going to take me out."

"No. Well, yes, technically we'll be cooking our own meal, but it will be fun."

"What's fun about waving your wand over some ingredients?"

"Oh, it's Muggle cooking. So we–

"Muggle cooking? What in Merlin's name made you think Muggle cooking would be appealing?"

Harry pouted. "I was raised Muggle for much of my life."

"I know. And your Muggle family was awful to you. Why would you want to have anything to do with that way of life?" Clive questioned.

"Not all Muggles are like that. And besides, this isn't about how we cook, it's about us doing something together."

"We can go to a restaurant together." Clive picked his jacket back up. "Let's go."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Harry stood his ground. "You don't appreciate the effort at all."

"What effort? You got pissed and bid on a stupid do-it-yourself supper."

By then, Harry was fuming. "It's not stupid. You always think the things I want to do are stupid."

Clive raised his eyebrows as if to agree. "I've been trying to groom you into the person you should be, but you fight me at every turn."

"The person I should be?"

"You're a celebrity, an icon. You should be living a life of luxury. You can afford it. But instead you want to work for a living, live in this simple flat and now you want to cook for yourself. You don't even have a house elf."

Harry didn't know whether to be angry or sad. Clive didn't seem to care for Harry at all. He was only interested in fame and riches.

"I think you need to leave."

"Harry, I'm only trying to help you. You could be so much more." Clive's tone was condescending.

"I'm happy with who I am. If you're not, then . . . it's over."

"Are you actually breaking up with me?" Clive laughed. "I'm the only thing adding culture to your life. Without me, all you'd have is those low class Weasleys."

"Out!" Harry'd had enough. "We're through. I never want to see you again."

"Harry, you don't mean that."

"Yes, I do." And he did. He realized that he didn't say those things only out of anger. He was truly relieved to be rid of Clive. Harry couldn't understand why he'd put up with him so long.

Perhaps it was the mind blowing sex. But that wasn't enough to sustain a relationship.

Clive didn't even have the decency to appear remorseful for the things he'd said.

"Fine. But don't come crawling back to me when your name falls into oblivion and people no longer clamor for your autograph."

"I look forward to that."

"What a waste," Clive muttered as he headed for the door.

After he left, Harry slammed the door, to little satisfaction. How much time had he wasted on that man? Clive had been suave and handsome, and seemed as though he had Harry's best interest at heart. When they met, Harry was relatively naive and inexperienced in relationships, being only twenty-two. Clive was nine years his senior. Almost a year later, they were no closer emotionally. Though, Clive had taught Harry everything he knew about shagging, which was considerable.

Plopping himself into an armchair, Harry thought about the time he squandered. But he was still young. He had time to find what he really wanted.

It had been so long since he considered it, Harry wasn't sure what he wanted. Ron and Hermione certainly had something worth coveting. However, they'd known one another since they were children. There were so many shared memories and experiences, Harry could't possibly hope to coming close to that sort of intimacy.

Regarding Clive's other accusations, Harry could honestly say he was happy in his small flat and working at the Ministry as an Auror. Hermione had drilled into his head that keeping house elves was a bad thing. And he really didn't mind cooking and cleaning after himself.

He sighed, and got up to change into trackies when his doorbell rang. He didn't know how he'd react if Clive had come back to try and talk him out of breaking up.

When he opened the door, the last thing he'd ever expected to see was there.

"You're kidding me, right?" the blond man in the hallway groused.

oOo