Title: The Gift

Author: wolfmusic218

Summary: Reese realizes that not all gifts are wrapped in paper and bows.

Author's Notes: My contribution for the 2015 Christmas fic exchange. It's for nicdvidmaker. I chose two of her prompts. "Snowing outside in a bedroom with glass walls - bed sheets are rumpled. Do John & Joss leave or just stay in bed?" and "Carter sees Zoe kiss Reese (he is taken off guard) after they have been together for a couple of months. Carter doesn't take it well." I changed the last one up a tiny bit. Can't have her mad at him for long, can I?

I really hope you like it!

Thanks go out, again, to Chellero. For being the voice of reason. For being a great cheerleader. For surprising me with fic. And for being the best HS a girl could have. :) Happy 2016!

The lack of a warm body next to her roused Joss Carter from her sleep. She rolled over slowly, knowing he was close, but not actually in bed with her where he should have been. Scanning the room, she spotted him standing near the wide, floor-to-ceiling windows watching the snow fall in big, fat flakes as it had since early that morning. The moonlight cast a glow over him that made him seem almost angelic. Even though she knew better than to think him an angel, she let out a soft sigh and let herself just watch him. She so rarely got the chance to just...look.

They'd left New York early, trying to beat the traffic. What they hadn't planned on was the surprise Nor'Easter that had shown up halfway through their drive. Adding white-knuckle driving to their already stilted conversation had made things even more tense.

Joss also hadn't planned the blow she'd felt in her gut when she'd pulled up to his building and witnessed him kiss Zoe. Or rather, as she learned later, Zoe kissing him. It wasn't a lovers' kiss she realized now and she knew, down deep, that Reese would never cheat on her, but it had still stung. And had contributed to the icy conditions inside the car on their ride up.

She hadn't said a word when he got in the car, but he'd looked at her, knowing what she'd seen, and he'd told her that he didn't want her to think it was more than what it was - that the kiss had just been a thank you for some help he'd given her. As soon as she'd moved to make it more, he'd pulled away and explained that he was with someone. As usual, Zoe was gracious. As she'd wiped the lipstick from his lips, she'd smiled and wondered out loud where he'd been for the last year and a half.

Joss had glanced at him in surprise at that and he'd just shrugged with a little smirk.

He'd told her that they'd worked together some, but their...arrangement...had ended quite a while ago. Zoe had never questioned it. Never called him out when he declined her offers of company. It was what it was. She said she'd just figured something else was going on in his life. Now she knew. She'd wished them well, told him to call her if he needed her help, and walked away.

They'd been together a little over a year. He hadn't been with Zoe for longer than that. That knowledge had sent a fissure of warmth through her. She had a feeling he'd known it would.

For as long as they'd known each other, even before they'd begun their relationship, he'd had the uncanny ability to make it very difficult for her to stay mad at him. And Lord, there had been times when she'd wanted to strangle him with her bare hands. As cold and callous as the rest of the world thought he was, Joss had been surprised and delighted to find out he harbored a...much-less-than-serious...side. And when he knew he was on her list, he used it to his full advantage. It usually didn't take long for forgiveness, and laughter, to come once he put his mind to getting them. It pleased her to no end that he was comfortable enough with her that he let that side of himself show. Even as it drove her crazy that he could do it so easily.

The suggestion of the trip had been a surprise. He'd given her very few details about it, just that he wanted to take her away for a few days. Not too far, just some place he thought she might like. Oh, they'd had their moments together, but more often than not, they were rushed or too short or interrupted. They'd had so few where they could just spend time together and enjoy each other. They did try to make the best of it, but she knew he wanted more. So did she.

She shook her head with a smile as she stretched out the kinks he'd given her.

Once they arrived, they'd trudged through the already deep snow and dumped their bags just inside the front door. She hadn't even had time to take a look around before he let out an impatient huff and pressed her against the door. Before she could say anything, his mouth was on hers. It wasn't a gentle kiss. It was a kiss of frustration and a little bit of desperation. Not really directed at her, she could tell that much, but at himself. There was something behind it. Something deep. Something she wanted to get out of him.

He wasted no time in divesting her of her clothes, his hands and mouth everywhere, urgent and a little rough. Still, he didn't speak until he entered her. His soft groan of, "I love you" into her ear made her eyes snap open and triggered the most intense orgasm she'd ever had. It had been the first time he'd said the words to her, though she felt them every day and never wondered how he felt; she just knew. But hearing him say the words, that was something else entirely. She'd rolled them over and clutched his hands to her chest as she rode him to his release. Sated, she'd bent over and kissed him softly, whispering her own love against his lips. She swore his eyes had filled before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to him. He'd held her, not speaking a word, until they both fell asleep.

And now she got to watch him while he was lost in his thoughts, the moonlight bouncing off the snow and landing on his skin, knowing she'd been right all along. This was right. No matter how crazy the whole relationship might seem to other people; it was right for them. And in the end, that's all that mattered.

"I know you're awake." He turned around, but didn't make a move towards her, just leaned his shoulder against the window frame.

"I am. So are you." She snuggled a little deeper into the blankets, resting her head on the pillow, and gave him a sleepy smile.

He nodded. "You know I don't sleep much. Got up and built a fire to cut the chill." He glanced over his shoulder out the window. "Still snowing."

She briefly considered pretending to still be mad at him about the kiss, but something in his demeanor ended that train of thought. "Something on your mind?"

He licked his lips and looked down, shifting a little. It was a gesture Joss had picked up on quickly. It meant he wanted to talk but was struggling with what he wanted to say. He'd gotten better in the last few months, but talking about what he was feeling was still a work in progress.

She patted the bed. "I bet you'd be more comfortable in here."

He shook his head but headed to the bed. Instead of getting in, he sat on the floor facing the window and took a deep breath, leaning his back against the foot of the bed.

Grabbing one of the blankets, she scooted to the end and draped it over him, then wrapped herself in the other. She didn't get off the bed, knowing he needed some space. She just leaned her chin on her arms and said nothing. Silently encouraging him to continue.

Reese reached up and took one of her hands, pulling her arm over his chest. "I was just thinking about how lucky I am. This...you and me...it shouldn't have worked out like it has. The cards were stacked so high against us."

"They were." She kissed the side of his neck.

"I have to be honest with you. That night...the kiss...I didn't know what it meant, Joss. I was afraid that night. More than I'd ever been before. I felt something for you, I knew I did. But I didn't think I was going to get out of there alive so I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want my last words to you to be something you'd have to live with, thinking I might have only said them because I wasn't going to make it."

Her grip around him tightened. "We both said a lot that night. I don't think either of us could have imagined how it would end up. And I really don't think it was because we weren't sure about the outcome. I just think maybe we said those things because we were both afraid to say what we really wanted to say."

She felt him swallow hard and nod. "God, Joss. If you'd died that night, nothing would have kept me from setting that town on fire."

"I know. I saw it in your eyes." She shuddered, remembering his face as he held her, broken and bleeding, in his arms. "But you didn't have to. And we got through it. And here we are."

"I realized that night, watching you struggle to live, how much..." he swallowed. "...how much I loved you. How I couldn't live without you. I'm sorry it took something like that to shake me up, to show me what I might lose. I'm sorry it took me this long to tell you." He hung his head and rested his cheek on her arm over his chest.

She felt the tears on her skin.

Between the tears and his words, neither things she ever expected from him, she was stunned into silence. But silence wouldn't do right now. Not when she knew how hard it must have been for him to open up. It was something they'd needed to talk about, but never had. They'd avoided it, not wanting to rip open those so recently healed wounds.

Standing, she wrapped the blanket around her naked body and, running her hand across his shoulders, straddled his thighs as he sat on the floor.

She took his face in her hands and made sure he was looking at her. "I want you to listen to me good, OK? Don't ever apologize for that. Ever. We struggled to get here, there's no question about that, but I never once wondered or doubted how you felt. Words aren't your strong suit; that's nothing to be ashamed of. You tell me in so many other ways, John. Every day. You could never say it again and I'd still know." She leaned in and kissed him softly.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly, his voice catching as he spoke. "Please, don't ever doubt it."

They stayed tucked together for a long time, just holding on to each other, emotionally spent. The quiet of the room, the warmth of the fire and the blankets and each other, and the moon casting a glow over them...brought on a feeling of peace and contentment they'd never found anywhere else.

The small clock on the mantle over the fireplace chimed midnight and Joss smiled against John's shoulder. "It's Christmas."

He chuckled and ran his hand along her spine. "You were one of those kids who stayed up to see if you could catch Santa in the act, weren't you?"

"Maybe."

His hand crept over her hair, brushing it off her neck, his fingertips pressing gently along the muscles. "You don't want to wait, do you?"

She shook her head. "Not unless I absolutely have to."

She leaned back and he could see the anticipation and excitement in her eyes. And, as he looked down, he could see the rest of her, too. He licked his lips, remembering the taste of her from earlier, his body reacting to the memory. But he could wait. And he was pretty sure, with what he had planned, the wait would be worth it. At least he hoped it would be.

"If you can't wait, you might want to..." he nodded towards her and pulled the blankets tighter around her shoulders. "...because I'm tempted to make it very difficult for you."

Joss made a show of contemplating her choices, but in the end, she jumped up and went to her bag. When she turned, she looked almost hesitant and shifted the gift between her hands.

"What's the matter?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I was pretty sure of this when I got it for you, but after everything tonight, it seems...insignificant."

"Oh Joss, come on. Stop it. Come here." He held his hand out and pulled her to sit in his lap when she took it. He kissed her gently. "You have nothing to worry about. Now give me that present, woman."

She snorted. "I feel silly."

"You should. You know I'm going to love it. Or, I will when you finally hand it over." He loved bantering with her, watching the fire light up her eyes.

She held it away from him, giggling. But stopped when she caught the look in his eyes and the almost-there smirk. "I'm not sure I like that look, mister."

"I just had a thought. I think I want to do something first."

"You want to give me mine first? Why?"

He shrugged his shoulders as he lifted her off of his lap and sat her on the bed. "I don't know. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable with yours if I do this first."

He wandered over to his bag and Joss couldn't help but keep her eyes on his rear as he bent over to rummage through his duffle. Even clad in boxers, the man was blessed with a fine ass. She tilted her head and gave a low whistle. "Thank you, Santa, for the view."

Reese let out a snort and wiggled his butt in her direction, making her let out a whoop and clap her hands. "Yes! I got a dollar for you if you do that again! But bring me the bling first. Momma needs some new swag, John. Whatcha got in the bag?"

He stood, his back still facing her. She was still offering up money and talking trash to him, laughing, but it faded to the background as he stared at the item in his hands. It had been a long time coming. Months. It was the right time. He could feel it in the air. This moment was exactly why he'd waited.

When he turned around, the look in his eyes stopped her mid clap. But it was the box in his hand that made her gasp and slap her hand over her mouth.

"Will this do for the required bling?"

The nervous giggling started almost immediately and her voice came out in a raspy whisper. "What are you doing?"

He looked at the light blue box and back at her, a lopsided grin on his face. "I thought it was pretty obvious. Do you need me to spell it out for you?"

She was shaking now, her nerves wound so tightly she couldn't stay still, and only nodded her head.

He walked to stand before her and cupped her cheek with one hand. "Joss..." She covered his hand with hers.

"Wait a second. Hold on."

His sudden change startled her. "What?" She was mortified by the squeak that came out of her mouth.

And he couldn't suppress the grin at the sound. "I'm doing this wrong."

At that, he dropped to one knee in front of her and held out the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen. It sparkled, even in the low light of the room. A single diamond, set low, with smaller ones surrounding it. Not flashy, that wasn't her and he knew it, but it definitely made a statement. A serious one.

She couldn't breathe.

"I've seen enough chick flicks in my life to know the right way to do this." He winked at her and then cleared his throat. "But I've never actually done it before...so...be patient with me?"

Joss bit her lip, a single tear rolling down her cheek, and nodded again. It seemed like the only thing she could do around this beautiful, complicated man.

He took her left hand in his and leaned in, kissing her softly. "Jocelyn Carter... Joss. It's because of you I'm still alive and able to stand...well, kneel... in front of you right here, right now. I can't even begin to thank you for having so much faith in me. For believing that there was a good man underneath it all. For making me want to be a better man. For you. And for myself. Thank you for loving the man that you see in me, not the man in my head."

She sniffed and wiped her cheeks, unable to say a word. Reaching up, she brushed his cheeks with her thumbs and ran her fingers through the hair at his temples.

Reese paused, took a deep breath and then let out a chuckle. "I have no idea how we'll make this work, but we have a Finch, so anything is possible."

She nodded quickly and draped her arms over his shoulders, burying her face in his neck, the tears flowing freely. He wrapped her, blanket and all, in his arms

"I want to wake up with you like this, not just once in a while, but forever. I love you. Marry me."

The End.