Everything was changed on the day that Xander managed to kill a demon lord that had been attempting to ascend onto the next plane of existence. It had been a great moment for Xander and the Scooby gang but what they had not known that the demon lord was not alone. They would not learn of it until it was by far to late to do anything about it. The Scoobies had celebrated their victory over yet another Big Bad then life had gone back to normal. Or as normal as their life ever was and Xander had taken a little vacation away from the Scoobies and the Slayers. Sometimes he just needed peace and quite and since Sunnydale had fallen, the only way that could happen was to leave. And since the Scoobies could not leave as a whole thanks to the fact that they were the leaders of the Council, they had to do it separately. They needed each other but they also needed peace.

So Xander left his loved ones and went one a trip to the middle of nowhere, just wanting some peace and quite until he had settled back into who he was. Xander loved Buffy, Giles and Willow more then anything but over the years he had grown tired of the endless hunting and killing and...everything. Xander knew that he was suffering from some form of PTSD but there was nothing he could do about it. He was needed and he would not stop helping his Scoobies or his girls. He just needed time and they gave it to him when they could.

The fact that it would be all of their dooms was not known at the time and even if it had been, could not be changed. Xander had left the safety of Slayer central and ventured out alone into the world.

Where he was found by the lover of the demon lord that he had just killed and his life was forever alerted. Xander had woken up and gone to eat and then had turned around to see a woman behind him, who had immediately thrust him into the air.

"I am the Lilyanna,Consort of Thaivack, the demon lord that you just butchered. You have stolen my love from me."

"Love, he was a demon and you...you are a demonic witch. Neither of you are even capable of love."

"You dare tell me I cannot love after you took my love from me. What I have lost you can never comprehend."

"I have lost more then you will even understand over the years and your precious demon tried to ascend. He really should have remembered what happened to the mayor."

"You think he was in any way like that filth Wilkins. My love was going to become a God, not some low level Old One. He would have been the greatest and most powerful being to ever exist."

"And now he is just sacks of flesh and meat."

She screamed out, enraged and then Xander was yanked to the ground by an unseen force as she yanked him down.

"How dare you speak of Thaivack like that. You, whose hands are drenched in blood. You, who are the lover of the murderers the Slayer Queen and Red Witch. Your lovers have killed more then mine ever did."

"Buff and Willow have killed evil as have I."

"And who are you to determine who or what evil is?"

"I am the White Knight, the One Who Sees, the Prophecy Breaker, the Chosen Sword of Heaven. I am the Wielder of Excalibur and the Childborn of the Hellmouth. I am the trueborn Sorcerer and Guardian of the World. I judge what is right and wrong because it is my right. I have lost much because of it but I do it. Your 'love' was evil and thus could not be allowed to live."

Once again Xander was tossed around as Lilyanna lost her temper.

"You think you've known love and loss, Xander Harris. You know nothing but you'll learn...You'll have to if you have any desire to ever see your family again. "Then something was yanked inside of Xander and he was falling away. "You will never come here again until you have suffered love only to lose it over and over again.. In every reality you must find love, only to lose them. Only when I am satisfied that you have suffered all you can suffer and more will you be allowed to return.'

And that was last thing Xander knew in the reality that he had been born in.