Title: Leucojum Aestivum

Summary: She is the snowflake in the winter of December. A snowflake that will soon melt and disperse from the world. A snowflake that has little purpose in the world, and in search for her new purpose in life in the summer. Reincarnated!OC as Fem!27.

Warnings: SI-OC into Fem!Tsuna. Rated T for language, violence, and possible adult-theme references in the future. Possible OOC!Canon Characters.

Disclaimer: I only own my OC and my plot not KHR. Akira Amano owns KHR. The cover image does not belong to me either. And I do not own anything else that might be a reference unintentionally or intentionally mentioned in this story. Thank you.

Inspired by: Zetsuen no Tempest and Pandora Hearts

Posted on: December 31, 2015.

Rewritten: April 17, 2016. April 24, 2016 (Just a few little errors fixed). May 10, 2016 (Changed the date on April 5th, 2016 entry).

(Author's Notes is at the bottom. I recommend reading it but you don't have to.)

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~PROLOGUE~

("Death is inevitable, and the only thing concerned with death is when the deadline will be meet.")

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("October 20th, 2001

Dear December,

Tsu-chan has been dreaming weird dreams lately. Okaa-chan says it's because Tsu-chan has a big mind! (Tsu-chan does not know how to spell the word Okaa-chan used that's why Tsu-chan used mind.)

Love,

Tsu-chan")

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When she was two, she started to remember bits of her past life. There wasn't much to remember, but the memories she received were great enough to confuse her (mature and smart) two-year-old mind. Her mother—her sweet and innocent young mother—was worried sick about her. The nightmares she would conceive during the night and the times she slept would terrorized her. And when she awakes, her mother would be right there right above her with worried eyes and trembling lips.

Ironically, it was her mother who cried instead of her.

Her father, on the other hand, is a busy body. Although his desire to stay with his family in Japan is strong, the line of work he engages in requires more of his attention than needed. However her father would be home once a week, tired with weary lines, but better than nothing.

(Her stomach, however, would feel twisted in guilt. For both her father and someone else—someone she doesn't know.)

When he heard of her nightmares terrors, he immediately flew home from work. Quoted from her mother's words and recollection: "He came slamming the door opened with his tie unmade and sweat attached to his dress shirt, Tsu-chan! Immediately he asked the doctor for your health condition and stayed by your side throughout the whole day while even taking care of Mama. Don't you think it's so romantic, Tsu-chan~!" The romantic part though made her sweat a little bit at her mother's naïve ways.

However her father's actions were enough to warm her little heart, indeed her father was somewhat a romantic guy she had to admit.

(The only weird thing about this situation is how a two-year-old toddler girl even understand the concept of romance. Oh well, her mother did always say that girls mature faster than boys. Whatever that means.)

As time passed, she turns from two to three to four. Her nightmares as a toddler left behind with her accepting the memories she receives. She doesn't know how she did it with her toddler brain, but she come to an conclusion with her memories and somehow made sense of it. And as more memories came, she concluded two things.

Tsuna wasn't Tsuna but was—is Tsuna at the same time.

At first it sounded weird when she said it with her own mouth and tongue. She found refusal and identity denial rambling back and forth. Until she came to a conclusion, her mother found herself in a predicament of why her daughter would sometime refused to be called by her own name. Tsuna felt herself sometime going on a guilt trip when she would hurt her mother's feelings. However, Tsuna never really did truly believe in her so-called memories until she met someone from her dreams.

She dreams of a world with the little memories she had. A world where it was quite different from Japan but existed somewhere across the sea on the other side of the globe. But at the same time despite its location being on the side of the earth, Tsuna knew there was something different of the world she dreams of.

There were people who claimed to be her parents, and that was weird. Because aren't her parents Sawada Nana and Sawada Iemitsu, shouldn't she be dreaming about them instead? And she had a little brother whose nickname was Jane—(but she is an only child)—and in her dreams she would always be in a hospital room.

Maybe she had an unknown desire of being sick, maybe that's why her dreams contains such images. After all, weren't dreams influenced by your memories and desires?

(How did she even know that in the first place?)

But in her dreams, there was two more factors. One, she dreams herself as a teenager. A teenager that bores no resemblances with herself and seemed like the opposite of her. Second, she dreams of pictures. Pictures of black and white and sometime pictures that would have colors and were moving like animations. It was a weird feeling watching something while dreaming. And in those images were the only thing that were clear in her dreams.

They were the only that she remembers clearly after awaken. Others were passing blurry images.

In those images were people. People that were much clearer than the "fake" parents and brother she dreams of. They were in junior high, and the adventures they had were greater than any of those fairy tales her mother read to her. And somehow the main person of them all was her.

Or actually someone who had the same name as her and same background but different gender.

Tsuna didn't mind the dreams when it came to that part. Watching those adventures of the young boy made her happy and satisfied in the morning. But sometime it made her envious, it wasn't like she was dissatisfied with her life in the four years she lived, but there was something greater she desired. But for now, Tsuna was just satisfied with the dreams.

Until on April 1st, 2004, she met Yamamoto Takeshi.

Then suddenly, some pieces fell into places and the world somehow just made sense.

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("October 14th, 2003

Dear December,

Mama has made a decision. Tsu-chan will be going to preschool. Although the thought of it excites Mama, it doesn't for Tsu-chan. Tsu-chan feels like there's a big monster in there who is drowning in his own tears. And Tsu-chan doesn't even know what that means.

Love,

Tsu-chan")

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In the Sawada household, there was an unspoken rule between Iemitsu and Tsuna: "Anything Sawada Nana wants, she gets it."

And really, Tsuna never remembered when such rule was made or even was there in the first place. Tsuna had thought the rule was made for the purpose to satisfy her mother's, Nana, happiness while Iemitsu was gone. In her mind, it was his guilt of being far from his family that this rule existed. But thanks to this rule, Tsuna found herself going to kindergarten in Namimori Preschool.

It was no surprise that Sawada Nana is a social person. Actually, you can even see from afar that Nana is no loner or outcast. When Tsuna and Nana went grocery shopping, Tsuna would either a) finds herself waiting for hours (literal hours, no joking) until her mama would stop talking, or b) being some kind of doll for everyone to see and touch for all they care. Once again no kidding.

But Sawada Nana is a social butterfly. A social butterfly that loves socializing and learning of others' connections. Especially her only child and daughter, Sawada Tsunayoshi.

So when she found out that Tsuna was barely talking to her peers (aka her non-existent social life), Sawada Nana had enrolled her into Namimori Preschool without much problems and without a care in the world. No complaints or words were listened by Sawada Nana as she blocked everything out.

Usually Tsuna would comply to her mother's wishes, but for this one time she didn't want to. But she kept her mouth shut for her mother's sake. The thought of school for some reason just terrifies her and traumatize her. One look from her mother was all Tsuna need to smile brightly again.

This was for her mother after all.

And when Nana applied her for daycare, it was on her birthday. After that, Tsuna spent the rest of her days preparing for preschool and purchasing items for school. Nana was excited and is still excited really. There would always be that blinding grin plastered on her face, and the daily meals of Tsuna's diet somehow increased by calories and looked more extravagant each day. She guessed it was for practice for first impressions on lunch boxes and when her new friends come over.

At least now, Tsuna didn't have to keep going to her mother for food each time she was hungry. The six months of cooking wasn't just wasted on just eating.

When the expectant day came, Tsuna, surprisingly, was the first to rise. With her uniform on ready and face all washed up, she found herself nervous for the first day of school. The feelings of horror went down her throat, and the trembling of her hands were caused by the nervous feelings churning in her stomach. It wasn't as bad as she felt when her mother first announced it, but it was still pretty bad. The nervous was a new thing though. It gave her the feelings that she was actually excited for it.

Nana found it amusing of how Tsuna acted; the Tsuna her mother knew shared many similar traits with herself. Pretty carefree and a klutz at the same time and sometime a little bit too oblivious. But in overall, Tsuna is always the calm and mature one in the family of three. While Nana would be overexcited and on sugar-high, Iemitsu would be the crybaby and be seen bawling. And Tsuna would be the neutral zone comforting her father, and calming her mother down.

Her mother just let out a chuckle before handing Tsuna's lunch to said girl, taking her hand, and walked her to the pre-school.

The moment both Tsuna and her mother arrived, the flushing sound of her nervousness can be heard miles away. Instead the feelings of horrified and disgust could clearly be seen on the girl's face. Her usual happy and carefree face twitched into a teary frown and a slightly gaped mouth. The scene in front of her was not what she had been expecting: crying kids, snotty kids, bawling kids, and etc. kids.

(She had been expecting more of crowds of kids walking through a tunnel of cherry blossoms into a huge building. Like in her dreams.)

"Okaa-san," Tsuna said.

"Yes, Tsu-chan?" Replied her mother.

"Can I go home?"

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("April 5th, 2004

Dear December (or should I say myself),

First day of school (again) was terrible. I couldn't find much people to relate to or find one that is mature enough. There were a few who were nice (or more like they caught my attention), but they are still strangers to me. However if that was the only reason why my first day of school was terrible, then I would be lying. Today I fainted and an ambulance had to come. My mother was bawling her eyes out and I can already feel guilt pulling the strings. My father (somehow) came flying back from Italy in just a few hours with a disheveled appearance. The doctors couldn't identify the cause of my fainting but recommends my parents to give me daily check-ups if anything like this incident would repeat.

However I know the cause. It was Yamamoto Takeshi, my classmate and seat buddy. But I wouldn't say that, the kid was innocent. But thanks to him, I received some of my old memories back.

Love,

Tsuna (originally December)")

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Unfortunately, Tsuna didn't get to go home (for now that is).

And fortunately, her seat buddy wasn't a snotty kid. Tsuna has nothing against crying kids especially since she was quite a crybaby herself. But that doesn't mean she has to like them, but she kept those thoughts to herself. Her mother said that no one is perfect even the adults.

Her seat buddy, although she hasn't had a good look at his face yet, is quite the popular one in their class. Apparently she had heard (she has good ears) that he played with a lot of the neighboring kids in baseball, and would usually hang out with them at his home, a sushi restaurant, or at the baseball fields in the park with an attendance of five days with punctual per week. An overachiever, she would say, in baseball that is.

She hasn't heard his name either but it's all good. Tsuna, hopefully, will make friends with everyone else later on. For hers (or her mother's) sake.

On the same table as her and her seat buddy were two other girls and another guy. She would go into more details but—

"Okay, class. Eyes up here please." The teacher clapped his hands to gather attention around him, "It's a pleasure to meet you all, my name is Kuroko-sensei. And I hope that we all would get along for the rest of the year."

The teacher's voice was monotone and his presence was hard to keep track of, Tsuna noted. But despite his uncaring tone and expression, under that face she could hear and see the fondness in his voice and eyes.

"I want all of you to introduce yourself by saying your name, likes, dislikes, and your future dream." He explained clapping his hands again when the noise level was raising up, "And I go first after that would you, young girl with golden eyes, go next please?"

Tsuna noted that there was only one girl with golden eyes: her. She only nods wishing this to be sped up.

"Well, as I said, my name is Kuroko-sensei and which you call me by but my full name is Kuroko Tetsuya. I like basketball and vanilla milkshakes. I'm not fond of cola or any carbonated (Many children perked up to the word "Do you guys know what carbonated is?") drinks. And my dream is actually fulfilled, being a kindergarten teacher." Kuroko-sensei introduced himself and Tsuna soon found herself being the next person to stand (even if the teacher had been standing up the whole time).

She scratched the back of her head awkwardly before bowing and smiling brightly like her mother advised her to. "Hi, everyone. Um...my name is Sawada Tsunayoshi but I usually go by Tsuna or Tsu-chan. I like a lot of things like my mom's cooking and sweets, and I like a lot of flowers but my favorite is the summer snowflake. I don't like rivers and have a fear of them. And my dream for the future is to, I guess...um, have a family." A blush came across her face randomly as she mentioned the last part of her introduction.

Family...where did that came from?

"Thank you, Tsuna-san. And would the boy next to you please introduce yourself?" Kuroko-sensei said.

Tsuna sat down back in her seat, and her seat buddy stood up with an energetic but soothing aura. "Hi! My name is Yamamoto Takeshi—" Yamamoto Takeshi? Haven't she heard that name somewhere before? "—and I like baseball and milk and oh! My dad too! I don't think I dislike anything, but my dream is to a professional baseball player in the future!" He let out a lighthearted laughter that brought energy into the room.

But Tsuna wasn't having any of that.

Yamamoto Takeshi. Where had she heard it? Where had she seen it? Tsuna was afraid for the first time to look to her side. Not even a little peek would do her any good. Turning her head slowly as the boy sat back down and the other boy in the table stood up ready to say his introduction.

It reminded her of those scenes in the dramas her mother would watch, and she would sometime too when bored.

Brown eyes and spiky black hair. They were the first things she noticed about him. Next was his easygoing smile, as he noticed her looking at him, he smiled a million watt smile.

Then the next thing she knew was that she was falling down, and the two faces of Kuroko-sensei and Yamamoto stared at her in worry. Panicking was something she caught in their voices.

Maybe it was Kuroko-sensei's weak presence, but she started to focus on more of Yamamoto. How he stared at and how familiar he looked.

Then the pieces starts to fall in place, and Tsuna remembers.

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("October 14th, 2001

It's Tsu-chan's b-day! Yay! Okaa-chan and Tou-chan gave you to Tsu-chan for present. And since you Tsu-chan's first friend, Tsu-chan will name you. Tsu-chan no likes winter that much, but December is a good name. Tsu-chan fond of that name. That's why your name will be December. Let's be good friends from now on!

Love,

Tsu-chan")

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In Namimori Hospital, where a young girl of four sat by the window sill with a journal in her hand. A laughter soon filled the air of realization and irony.

"How idiotic of me," she muttered to herself, her tone filled with irony, "December was my name."

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-Leucojum Aestivum-

by minhthu12-presents

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New A/N: New prologue and nothing to say. Let's just the guilt in my heart is pulling it at sonic speed for such a late update. To make it up, I did an omake/side-story at the end ( A small spoiler for the Future Arc you can say.) Btw, for the timeline. At 2012 is when the canon starts (for now), and the Daily Life Arc took about a year or less afterward. So 2012-13=1999, on 10/10/1999 is what I'm planning to have when Tsuna is born. I might change due to his birthday and my unsureness of the timeline. I still feel this prologue is still terrible but better than nothing, right? I will still include some details from the original prologue and chapter one into this little rewrite of mine. But the next chapter, I promise, will feature some of her past life and her toddler life. Most likely will take a long time since I planning to do her whole toddlerhood in one chapter to speed it up. Did you see my reference to KnB. I just had to, but I do not own KnB either.

Original A/N: I'm a horrible person for writing another story when I should be rewriting my other sorry excuses of a story like Trapped Soul and The Bell's Carols. So I sincerely apologize for everything that you think that is bad of me and this story in advance. The reason why I have not been writing or rewriting any of my stories is that because I've been getting writer's block and plot bunnies at the same time. So what I decided to do was that put my mind off my already published (and sh*tty really in need of rewrites) stories, and focus on my newer ideas.

With new ideas in my mind, I decided to create a plot for them - for each one of them which is a lot since my mind if getting more creative each day (kind of). Some of the ideas are purely my imagination and some of them are already written but I want to write one. Like this story, Leucojum Aestivum, is about a reincarnated girl into the main character, Sawada Tsunayoshi. I will talk about my other ideas for other stories later but it will be hard since plotting them hasn't even complete a five percent yet. I actually decided to publish this idea by winging it when writing it until I have a concrete idea of doing what I want to do. It's hard to wing it so I will do some careful planning like how I always do (which is also another reason why I have not been updating and publishing).

Please don't expect me to update new chapters that fast since I will also be busy planning and plotting other ideas for other stories. (Just for you to know, these new plot bunnies are in different animes and manga which makes it hard for me. Because I have to go research this setting , go look at character's ages, and etcs. and also rearrange some events due to my character's' actions. Life is hard sometime.) There could be a slim chance of me publishing other new stories or rewriting my other stories. Please don't kill or hate because of that.

Now let me focus on this story (I'm sorry for such a long note), Leucojum has been one of my oldest ideas actually before the plot bunnies hopped into my mind and forcefully control it to focus on it only (my poor brain). I don't actually remember when it came to my mind but it did. Leucojum has also went through the most revising and the most rewriting out of all the stories I've been planning and writing. It went through five rewrites and there's the original chapter and also an extra chapter from Reborn's POV.

The thing is I'm only good at planning and plotting if I'm actually typing/writing out the story and then I revise it and then think of new events. Leucojum had the most written on Chapter one, (I don't think any of my plot bunnies idea actually make it past chapter one due to indecisive and inability how to start out the chapter and story). It had about sixteen pages on one of the rewrites of the original chapter which was why I decided to write out this story first.

However after seeing the original plot of this story, I decided it was too confusing for the (some or most) readers to follow and decided to put some of original ideas to the side or trash can. Originally (I'm not going to say everything since it can be potential spoilers and I could use this idea for other stories), December was not named December. She was named Noelle for unknown reasons which I can't remember. Noelle is a girl who went through multiple of (sad and harsh) reincarnations in different (anime/manga) world. When reborn for (idk what number or just really I don't want to say how many) times, she wants to avoid the plot but she found herself in Tsuna's body which she can't avoid her fate.

I deemed it was too confusing because of the future events in the story, and because of the different worlds she was reborn and reincarnated in. Because I planned to mention snippets of her past lives but not pointedly outright say what world they are. But I worried that some readers won't know what they are, so deemed it as too confusing. (Another reason why I was hesitant to do the original plot was because I also read a story that mentions different anime/manga, real book series, and cartoons that I didn't know. I didn't want to confuse the readers like how it did with me.)

Anyway I've been ranting way too much so I apologize for that. Thank you for reading my story and I would appreciate it if you were to follow, favorite, or review my story. In review, criticism are welcome and highly appreciate, but when insulting or say hateful words, please do not be too harsh. Even though I'm quite carefree and pretty easy-going, hateful words still hurts me pretty bad (partly-blame on my mom, I got this trait from her). Just please don't pressure me too much, or I'll will seriously like faint from the pressure and get a fever. But it's okay to be expectant. Thank you and I hope you enjoyed the story (and the story of my pitiful life from this Author's Note).

I hope everyone has a wonderful day and sorry for little potty-mouth above somewhere along the Author's Note.

Ciao, and see you next time on the next chapter!

Fun Fact: The name December was randomly chosen so that the chapter could sound more mysterious until it actually had a reason.

Omake

Pages filled with regrets

"She had cried while writing in her journal, noted Reborn as he read Tsuna's diary from ten years ago."

October 14th, 2012

Dear December,

We had celebrated Reborn's birthday yesterday in Vongola style or so he had said. It had me wonder what my (how many greats' again?) grandpa was doing when he was in control of the Vongola. Or maybe did the so supposedly "Vongola Style" developed afterward? I have absolutely no idea. It's kind of sad how Reborn, a stranger at first, knew of my family's bloodline and heritage more than I did. Though when your heritage includes the mafia, I find it more satisfying if I actually didn't know. The Vongola Style birthday party was crazy, and it was a shame that I didn't win. (But I had to admit that even I would give myself a zero if I were the judge).

Ever since Reborn had came into my life, every moment of my life are never peaceful anymore. Even Kyoya had disturbed the peace of my life despite his lack of involvement the past few years. Takeshi is even more oblivious than I had expected, and Hayato is just...Hayato, I guess. The kids are alright when they're not fighting, but the obliviousness in the family, related or not, is honestly driving me insane taking bits of my sanity away everyday. I'm not complaining that I hate it, but however it's a big change in my life. I wonder how he did it—

(Reborn pondered who he was. As he read other passages of Tsuna's diary, there were mentions of he a few times with no direct identifications.)

—and I really would like to wave the white flag right now. The girls and even Hana just treat their newly changed daily lives as some kind of joke or game now. I overly underestimated the sanity of Namimori. But December...I don't hate it at all. In fact, I love them. The days of my new life, my new friends, the exciting moments, and the blessings that comes with them.

Each day are exciting with new things to explore. Something I haven't been able to experience in a long time. And each day are filled with exploding amount of love and warmth. I don't regret of who I was born as, as it gave me such beautiful blessings from God. But things don't last I know that, but that's what beautiful about life. As there are excitement and happiness in our daily life, there would always be danger—no matter how small the amount—lurking behind the scenes. December, I am scared until that one day we will be forced to live in the darkness, hiding from a danger that not even us—or Reborn—could fight against.

(Some of the tears shed had fallen against the paper. Smudging the still readable words. Reborn remembered the year he first came to her. On her birthday, he sensed no signs of depression on her face.)

I feel regrets running through my veins, my body, my mind that my decision is wrong. My morals screaming at me to say everything. But I know that these knowledge I possess are not to laugh at. No matter what myself tells me, I know the choice I made is the best. There are just some things that the future cannot do and the past can. I can only accept that with a heavy heart. Maybe our future will be renewed after the danger would cower back. I have trust within myself after all. Everything will be alright, but for now I shall watch for the awaiting danger. Hoping people would be safe within myself's range of protection, and hopefully there could be something I could do at least in the future.

I know that this timeline is not the chosen one. But I will not completely cower back and watch. For the brighter future for myself and my friends, maybe I can change something.

From the overemotional me,

Tsuna

Gut feelings are not something to underestimate. Sometimes your guts are smarter than your brain. And Reborn had a gut feeling that Tsuna had predicted this...tragedy to happen although most likely not how she planned it to be. Never once had Reborn read her diary since he first came into her life, respecting some of her boundaries. She had thanked him for it not once suspecting any lies coming out from his mouth. Her naive ways inherited from both of her parents although more on her mother's side. He had respected her boundaries and possessions until now that is.

Vongola is going down in flame and is on the brink of destruction. Nono had died from old age. Decimo who was in critical condition was suddenly murdered before a supposedly meeting with the opposing famiglia. And to add the fuel to the flame, the wretched small famiglia rose up in fame and size overpowering the Vongola at an incredible rate. Reborn knew, without a doubt, that without Tsuna's guidance, the Vongola will be burned down to the ground sooner or later. What he also knows is that is when his death shall be official, that will mark the fall of the Vongola. Reborn is one of the last people whose powers are keeping the strongest mafia famiglia stable for now, but not for long will he and the Vongola live. He and the other Acrobaleno knows there is something in the air that was killing them.

If Tsuna was here, everything will go back to normal. She can talk sense back into the world, and the balance will be balanced again. That was Tsuna's power. Unfortunately, Tsuna is not here. And Reborn doesn't linger in the past.

Tsuna died. Not the most horrible death of her body unable to recognize, but definitely not the most peaceful death of old age like Reborn had calculated. Her life ended young with blood spilling everywhere.

Everyone took it hard. Especially those who were particularly close to her, Reborn felt a twinge of regret of unable to stop the cause of it. Even the poker faces of Hibari and Mukuro broke at the sight of her lifeless body. Gone was the life of the Decimo, and gone was the life of Tsuna. People had different ways to cope with their losses. And Tsuna's Guardians had one particular common way of dealing with it: violence, work, anger, rage, hatred. They became monsters who only relied on each other. All seven of them knew what they had lost and their loss was the same thing—or more like someone. Hibari, for some reason, was the most angered one of them all.

Reborn knows many things within the Mafia and the Vongola. He knows many things behind the scenes of one of the greatest loss in Vongola's history, Vongola Decimo's death. And he knew that there were many behind the scenes he did not see. That is why he is looking back at the old days of Tsuna's youth.

Tsuna, who was destined to become Vongola Decimo, was a little bit too mature in her youth. Or at least more than what he had expected. He knows she kept journals of her life since she was at the age of two to the present. An impressive age to keep a diary, he is impressed with his Dame student. But the more he read of her life and the things she wrote, the more he noticed of the hints of the future of how she talks of her regrets. Of how her perspective suddenly changes during her preschool days. Of how often she got depressed as time passed. It was only the past few years she got a little more happier like something of relief. But behind that relief was something of grief and guilt.

Reborn noticed that what Tsuna was depressed about wasn't her crazy life but something of a decision she made. Reborn being Reborn was determined to find the cause of such stress.

This was Tsuna. Tsuna who shone bright like the sun, and stretches far as the sea to the sky. There was no way he would leave Tsuna's death just the way it is right now. That would be the greatest insult he would have ever done to Tsuna. He doesn't know how the dead works. He doesn't know how they think besides his claim as being a mind reader. He might say it's for Tsuna's sake but really it was for him. For him who is dying and about to greet Tsuna once again soon.

But before he meets Tsuna again, just this once he would like to figure out—at least a part—of how the girl's mind works. Just once, he wants to figure out the truth behind the mysterious Vongola Decimo's secret whom she even hid away from her closest people.

But to his demise, he died before he knew the truth. In the end, they both died with regrets leaving behind pages of regrets.

Hers of her diary and his of his life. His life of the dullest paints splashed upon the blank canvas of those who were just born.

(After all, he is only a five years old who saw his precious person's dead body. A precious person whom he never really understood.)