AN: My Winteriron Holiday Exchange pinch hitter assignment for tarra107 on tumblr.

Also, a special thank you and a bazillion hugs to followthemuze for the last minute betaing, and for being amazing. 3

Though it's not specifically stated, Tony's much younger in this AU, and around the same age as Steve and Bucky (early twenties). And hey, look Ma - surprise background Steggy! ;)

~Third Wheel's a Charm(er)~

"So," Steve said with very forced casualness as he straightened his shirt in the mirror. "Peggy's bringing a friend."

Bucky groaned. "Not this again, Stevie." he complained, flopping back onto Steve's bed and sending the pile of Steve's rejected clothes toppling over onto the floor.

Steve shot him a chagrined look in the mirror, likely more from the clothes than what Bucky had said. "You were just saying you didn't want to come and end up being a third wheel - I'm just telling you you won't be. And who knows, maybe-"

"'She'll be nice'," Bucky mimicked, rolling his eyes and getting a shirt thrown over his head for his trouble. He yanked it off and scowled at Steve, who ignored him in favor of rummaging through a drawer for socks. Bucky huffed. "Look, I'm sure she is nice, but-"

"'He', actually," Steve corrected idly, pulling out a pair of socks for inspection. "And he and Peg go way back, so don't go making an ass of yourself in the name of rebellion. She'll kill us both."

Bucky rolled his eyes again, because he wasn't stupid. He was still having flashbacks from the last time he'd ticked Peggy off, and would have been willing to drop it, if Steve hadn't added a "Besides, you might like him."

"Like how I liked the last three, you mean?" Bucky snorted irritably, sitting up and crossing his arms.

He loved Steve like a brother, he really did, but the punk was so damn stubborn when he got an idea in his head. And this idea now, that Bucky's love life - or lack thereof - was in need of his intervention? Well…

'Aggravating' didn't even begin to cover it.

"You liked Natasha, Jan, and Angie." Steve pointed out, walking back over to the bed and nudging at Bucky to move over so he could put his shoes on.

"Doesn't mean I want to go out with them, any more than they wanted to go out with me. And besides, I don't need you setting me up on pity dates." Bucky snapped, not budging. Steve rolled his eyes and bodily scooted him over anyway, but Bucky took some childish satisfaction in not making it easy for him.

"That's funny, because I distinctly remember somebody telling me that there was no pity in setting up a friend." Steve said, smiling in faux-innocence.

Bucky gritted his teeth. And that right there was the heart of his problem. Because he really couldn't complain about Steve trying to set him up when he'd spent years doing the same thing, not without sounding like a hypocrite.

Which was probably why Steve was taking such perverse pleasure in this. His first, smug words to Bucky after meeting Peggy had been "Well, maybe she has a friend," after all.

He'd never thought all those times he'd pestered Steve into going on those double-dates would come back to bite him on the ass.

"Look, it's not that I don't appreciate what you're trying to do," Bucky said carefully. "It's just… I don't need it."

And he didn't. He could get dates on his own just fine, thank you very much. Just because he hadn't been lately didn't mean he couldn't - he just didn't want to. When someone interesting enough came along he'd give it a try, but until then, he was fine on his own - no matter what Steve thought.

As if reading Bucky's mind, Steve raised his eyebrows skeptically.

"I know you don't need me to," Steve said, unleashing his secret weapon and turning to Bucky with big, earnest eyes. "But I want to. All those years of having you as my wingman, I can't want to do the same for you?"

Bucky scowled - because that was fighting dirty, right there - but his heart wasn't in it.

"Fine. But I'm tellin' Peggy and her buddy 'bout the time you got your pants stuck climbing Mr. Logan's fence," Bucky grumbled, reaching over and ruffling the hair Steve had spent ten minutes trying to get to lay flat.

Steve squawked and smacked his hand, but the grin he wore was one of triumph.

~X~

Bucky probably should have felt bad about ditching Steve the second they got to the club, but since the punk had guilted him into coming anyway he figured they were even. Peggy would keep him company, and as for Peggy's friend, there were plenty of people here to keep a guy distracted. Speaking of which…

Bucky eyed the crowd thoughtfully from the corner booth he'd commandeered, swirling his drink as that thought sprouted and grew. He wasn't the only single hanging around, not by far, and it would serve Steve right if he found someone here on his own…

He bit his lip, considering, then dismissed the idea almost immediately. He'd feel bad using someone just to prove a point to Steve, and an actual date for fun held no real appeal to him right now. Nah, he'd just keep his head down for a little while, then text Steve and tell him he was going to head home early, and-

Bucky jumped and bit back a curse as something darted under his table and smacked into his legs, making the table shake and nearly sloshing his drink out onto the table. He kicked out on instinct and heard a yelp, which let him identify the something as human.

Surprise giving way to irritation, Bucky ducked his head down, ready to tell off whatever drunken idiot thought diving under a stranger's table was fun.

Until a pair of wide, expressive brown eyes peered back at him.

Bucky blinked. "What the hell?" he blurted, because those eyes looked far too clear to be rolling around on the floor in a drunken stupor.

The stranger parked under Bucky's table winced and shook his head. "I'm not here," he mouthed, glancing back out into the crowd and scooting further under the table.

The action set off alarm bells in Bucky's head, as well as raising every protective instinct he had. He leaned back, jaw tense, and surveyed the crowd. No one stuck out as particularly threatening or aggressive, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. "Is someone botherin' you?" he hissed urgently.

"Yes and no," the stranger said, inching back over towards Bucky. "Did anyone follow me?"

Bucky did another quick sweep of the room, but no one was paying their little corner any attention. He thought he saw Steve's blond head at the farthest end from them, though, which reassured him a little. If anyone had been hassling anyone else, Steve would have been one of the first to intervene, with Peggy right on his heels.

"Doesn't look like it," he told his new companion, leaning back to get a better look at him. He couldn't see much other than being able to make out that he had dark hair, but he noticed the guy was rubbing the side of his head and flexing his jaw experimentally. "Are you alright?"

The guy nodded, still looking a bit dazed, then cautiously poked his head out from under the table, revealing a messy tussle of brown hair, olive skin, and what looked suspiciously like a shoe-print on the side of his face.

Bucky's mouth dropped open, mortified, as he recognized the shoe-print as his. "Jesus! Did I do that?!" he gasped, yanking the guy the rest of the way out from under the table and waving towards side of his head.

The guy blinked at him, startled, then touched the side of his face as though he'd already forgotten about it. "What, this? Uh, yeah, but that's not-" He winced again and slumped down, tugging Bucky with him. "Do you think you could lean forward a little? Just, up against the table and - yeah, just like that," he said, as Bucky complied and leaned over so that anyone passing wouldn't notice the guy right away.

"You never answered my question," Bucky said worriedly, handing the man his cool bottle. He stared down at it a second, nonplussed, then looked as though he was going to take a swig before Bucky took it back and pressed it against the injured side of his head without thinking.

"Uh…" The stranger swallowed, looking even more confused, and making Bucky worry about head injuries. "What question? I think you might have asked a few, I kind of tuned you out."

Bucky bit the inside of his mouth to keep what was probably a very inappropriate chuckle in check. The guy had just been kicked in the head and wasn't trying to be funny, and besides, this was serious.

"I said, is someone botherin' you?" Bucky asked, leaning in. "'Cause if someone's messing with you, I-"

Before he could even finish his sentence the new guy was waving his hand, eyes wide. "What? No, no no, I'm hiding from my cousin," he said quickly, fidgeting nervously and looking around Bucky's head as though the person in question would materialize right behind him.

Bucky raised his eyebrows at him. "Your cousin…?"

The guy nodded, then winced at the effect it had on his head and pressed Bucky's bottle against it a little harder. "Yeah, she's…" He scowled. "She's sorta kinda babysitting me on account of me partying a little too hard the last couple of weekends - and has been taking her duties a little too seriously, if you know what I mean."

"Babysitting." Bucky repeated, not bothering to hide his amusement. His new buddy rolled his eyes, a feat Bucky rather admired in a possibly concussed person.

"'Chaperoning', technically, I guess. That's the word she and my father used, anyway." The guy grumbled, putting air-quotes around the word one-handed. "And anyway, she's a hardass, but I still love her and would rather she not get shanked in an alley, or whatever else you had planned for her." he added, smirking at Bucky.

Bucky laughed, letting some of his tension bleed away now that he knew the cute guy wasn't in any danger. Then he mentally backtracked, wondering when he started calling him cute in his head.

"No shanking," Bucky agreed, stretching out and grinning lazily. "My best friend's girlfriend could probably scare her off for you, though, if you wanted."

"Nah, I've never met anyone who could scare her," he replied, twisting the bottle so he'd have a cool side touching his skin again. "She's usually pretty awesome, when she's not being an overprotective mother hen."

Bucky clucked his tongue sympathetically. "I know the feeling," he said, then, biting his lip, gestured towards the guy's head. "I'm Bucky. Sorry for kicking you in the head. Are you sure you're alright?"

The guy twitched, which Bucky realized was actually a snigger, then put the bottle down. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Had worse. I think it's surprise, mostly, but you do have a mean kick." He smiled widely at Bucky, and held his hand out. "I'm Tony," he said, as he and Bucky shook hands. "Sorry I dove under your table like a maniac and scared you."

Bucky laughed, and decided he liked Tony. He was very… interesting.

~X~

"So, if you don't mind me sayin'," Bucky commented a little while later, flicking the straw Tony had been bent into an elaborate design into Tony's glass. "You're not partying very hard for a guy who was in enough trouble to need a designated chaperone."

He and Tony had been talking, laughing, and having a genuinely good time for a while now, and thus far Tony hadn't done anything to indicate he was the wildly out of control party animal he'd implied he was. He was smart, funny, and - okay, maybe a bit quirky, but in a way Bucky couldn't help but find endearing.

"Huh. Guess I'm not," Tony agreed, looking surprised himself. "You must be a good influence on me." he added, winking and bumping Bucky's shoulder. "What about you?"

Bucky shrugged and reached over to fish Tony's straw creation out of his drink so they could continue their game. "Dunno. What about me?"

Tony snorted and elbowed Bucky out of the way, grabbing the straw for himself. They'd lost the second straw 'accidentally' flicking it in some guy's hair earlier, and neither of them wanted to go get another one. "I was under the impression you were hiding from somebody, too, and you mentioned earlier you'd come here with some friends." he said, closing one eye and taking aim. "So, who are you avoiding and why?"

Bucky sighed, then snickered as Tony's shot bounced off the cup and back towards him.

"My best friend and his girlfriend." Bucky said finally, after picking up the straw and taking a shot of his own.

Tony scowled as it sank right in, then yanked the whole glass towards him before Bucky could take the straw again. "Is this the same best friend with the scary awesome girlfriend you were gonna sic on my babysitter?"

"Yeah, that's them. And they mean well, but…" Bucky shrugged. "They keep trying to set me up with people, and I dislike them meddling more than bein' the third wheel."

Tony flicked the straw and swore as the shot went wide, sending it skittering across the table. He then turned to Bucky, nodding vigorously and arms gesturing animatedly. "I know exactly what you mean! That's one of the reasons I was avoiding Chaperone Buzzkill. She dragged me here with her boyfriend just so I could meet a friend of his, and kept going on and on about this guy. 'I'm sure you'll like him, Tony, he's just your type. You'll get along fine, I can tell, and besides-'"

"'He's nice'," Bucky and Tony said together, before bursting out laughing.

"See, you know exactly what I mean," Tony said, wiping his eyes and grinning wider at Bucky. Bucky returned the gesture and threw an arm companionably around Tony's shoulders.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Bucky agreed, liking the way Tony leaned into him. He hadn't wanted to get his hopes up in case he'd been reading into things too much, but Tony specifically mentioned being set up with a guy, so... "We should probably feel bad for leaving them hanging, huh?"

Tony snorted. "Nope. Not even a little." he said, twisting his head around so that his face was only a few inches from Bucky's. "I'm going to be in trouble either way, and if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me."

Bucky shook his head and sighed in mock exasperation. "Story of my life," he lamented, grinning so Tony would know he was teasing. "Everyone I know is a magnet for trouble. I'll be bailing you out of jail and starting bar fights with you by the end of the week, you wait and see."

Bucky could feel Tony's sniggers where they were pressed together. "Sounds like the start of a beautiful friendship," Tony said, giving Bucky's knee a squeeze.

Bucky sucked in a breath. "That's one kind of relationship we could have," he agreed, licking his lips and watching in delight as Tony's eyes followed the movement. "Though I was kinda hoping you might be interested in more."

Tony's eyes sparkled. "Well-"

"James?" a familiar English accent said from behind them, cutting Tony off. Bucky winced, turning away from Tony to find Peggy goggling at him, Steve at her side, his brows knitted in confusion. He felt Tony go rigid against him. " Tony ?"

Bucky startled in surprise and opened his mouth to respond, but Tony beat him to it.

"Hey, Pegs." Tony said, pulling away from Bucky, who immediately missed his warmth. "Uh, look. I made a friend!" he added, gesturing to Bucky and smiling sheepishly.

"I can see that," Peggy said testily, her lips pursed, though Bucky noted she didn't seem to really be angry. Steve even looked like he was trying not to laugh. "Is this where you two have been this whole time?"

"Uh, yeah?" Tony said, looking back at Bucky with an expression of confusion. "Wait, do you-"

"You two know each other?" Bucky blurted, feeling like he was missing something.

Tony's nose crinkled. "Well, yeah. Peggy's my cousin. Why?"

"Your cous-" Bucky stopped and leaned forward, holding his head in his hands, suddenly shaking with suppressed laughter. "This is the friend Peggy was bringing?" he demanded, peeking through his fingers at Steve, who looked ridiculously pleased with himself.

"I don't understand," Tony interjected, perplexed. "You guys already know each other?"

"Tony, this is James." Peggy reported, her mouth twitching in amusement. "Steve's friend. The one I was telling you about?"

Tony's mouth dropped open, dumbfounded, then he groaned and covered his face. He also leaned back against Bucky again, much to Bucky's pleasure.

"Hi, Tony." Bucky chuckled wryly, sliding his arm back around Tony and giving him a squeeze. "I'm James Barnes, but my friends call me Bucky. I hear I'm very nice."

Tony laughed and hid his face in Bucky's shoulder.

~X~

They were all walking home later, laughing at something Tony had said, when Peggy suddenly stopped and frowned, her eyes narrowing at Tony.

"Tony, dear," she said, her tone taking on a dangerous edge. "Why is there a shoe print on your face?"

Bucky froze, guilt (and more than a healthy amount of fear) making his stomach turn unpleasantly.

Tony, though, didn't miss a beat. "Eh? Nothing, Pegs," he replied with a wave, turning away from Peggy to throw a wink at Bucky. "I just ran into a hot guy."

AN: We'll pretend Peggy and Tony are cousins by marriage or something in this world. Close family friends, at least, and therefor practically family. :)

Thanks for reading!