It was Bruce who volunteered to collect the mail that Monday morning, as he had finished his breakfast quite early. As he stood outside in the early morning sunlight, he took note of the ridiculous amount of boxes lying on the porch. This was going to take a couple trips. Heaving a tired sigh he gently picked up three of the smaller ones marked FRAGILE and made his way back into the tower.

"What you got there?" Clint questioned as he eyed the packages with interest.

Bruce offered him a helpless shrug, "No clue."

Natasha had just entered the room with Steve trailing in her wake. They had obviously just been fighting; the smell of sweat was enough to inform Bruce of that.

"Right on time. Bruce was just going to open these packages, right Bruce?" Clint asked, shooting him a mischievous grin that had Bruce rethinking his life choices.

He hesitated, "It's addressed to Tony-"

Natasha let out a snort, "Since when does he offer us any privacy. Come on, open it!"

Bruce looked to Steve for support, but he saw the gleam of curiosity in his eyes. When Thor entered with a box of double chocolate pop tarts Bruce knew he was doomed.

"My comrades! What is in the box?" Thor asked immediately as he plopped down next to Clint.

With the hopeful looks of everyone staring straight at him, Bruce once again sighed and began to open the box. His eyes fell upon the contents of the box and he let out a horrified scream.

"What is it?" Steve asked in concern, shoving himself forward to peek in. His reaction was similar.

"I-it's a human eyeball…"

"Is it real?" Natasha asked, fascinated as she gently removed the glass jar that contained said eye.

After a awkward silence, Thor began to open the next box. Gently removing a jar containing an octopus. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What is this?"

"That's and octopus, Thor," Bruce stated, hurriedly grabbing it from him, "Maybe we should stop guys-"

It was to no avail. Overruled by his teammates, Bruce found himself opening package after package of bizarre eBay orders. Squids in jars, dollar bills with Iron Man on it, about twenty Christmas ornaments, dirty license plates, and ear hats were just some of the odd merchandise. As the team examined a jar of kidney stones, Tony walked groggily into the room. As everyone in the team turned to stare at him, he knit his eyebrows together.

"Wazzup?" he mumbled tiredly, taking in the array of strange assembly of stuff spread over the table.

Natasha pointedly looked at Tony, and then at the book on aliens that Thor had been reading and offering up his opinion on 'inaccurate fairytales' written by 'inaccurate scientists'.

Realization crossed Tony' face, "Ohhh…you guys found my drunk eBay orders!"

Offering them a grin, Tony picked up the coupon to a zoo in Minnesota and examined it. The rest of the team exchanged dumbfounded looks.

"You drunk ordered this?" Steve finally questioned.

Tony frowned slightly, "Of course, you don't think I actually would've ordered a soap shaped like your shield in my right mind?"

The silence was enough of a response. Tony grabbed a muffin and flipped them the bird as he headed back down to his lab.

After that, the team slowly dispersed. Thor grabbed a roll of toilet paper that had his face printed on it, looking amused. Steve snagged a can of peaches. Clint decided on a Halloween themed snow globe. Natasha took a box full of scorpions. Bruce stared off into space.

Why did he live with these people again?