Chapter Twenty:

The silence is terrifying, the emotions I had hid so well for decades is being pulled from me with every breath she takes. Her head is down and I can not for the first time in my life tell what she is thinking by just body language, her mind impenetrable as always. What I fear the most is the unusual and almost sickening silence that even the unique creatures all around refuse to break, she is not crying, not even trying to slap me, she's just still, breathing in and out. We still sit out in front of the school, the lights from within coming to life in orangish glows across the darkened grass as night truely claims the last of the day. My body is still in the after effects of the curcio that had been used against me, the twitching and tremors evident whenever I try to draw a steady breath or exhale.

The first move is made as the creasent moon lights a soft path across us, Clarisa's now apparent tears sparkling like diamonds within the light. Her sudden movement has my body flinching as she encircles her arms around my shoulders, intertwining her fingers around the base of my neck while burying her face within the crook of my neck. I react instinctively and wrap my arms around her, all the fear of still losing her weighing overhead. I want nothing more than for this to all be over, for her suffering to stop, to give her the peace she so rightfully deserves. But I know this is far from over, Roysel is still a major threat and with the deranged woman now completely unhinged and on the loose, it will be only a matter of time before she reeks havoc.

I continue to hold Clarisa as her tears saturate my neck line and skin, but I do not care, revealing the secret that had continued to threaten my life felt like opening my eyes to a new world. One not marred with remnants of a psychopaths ideals or destruction, a world where I would not be targeted for some form of reason or another. But alas as always, reality will slap me time and time again so long as I wear the Dark Mark upon my forearm. I will always be a target, I will always and forever remain an outcast, a death eater, a murderer and to Clarisa, her tormentor and savior.

I look down as Clarisa looks up, her crimson eyes reflecting the moon and shimmering within the light, eyes full of pain, regret, and sorrow.

"Severus."

My name is spoken in a whisper from her, soft and caring. I told to her tighter, afraid that this moment will slip and she will disappear like everything else.

"You had to suffer so much..."

Clarisa's lips meet mine and I immediately give in, allowing for her to convey her sorrow for my suffering.

"Not as much as you, I assure." I whisper back once our lips part. "The pain I put you through I wish I could take back. I wish I could take it all back."

"Oh Severus, you, you can not possibly believe that all of this was your fault. That's too much guilt for one man to carry."

"And so you finally know who I am then." I say shortly.

That statement carries more weight then even Clarisa can fathom, the mask had broken a while back but some of it had still stayed. The lies, the deceit, the darker side of me still remained. I know I can never truely rid myself of the facade, but the look in Clarisa's eyes has me hoping that someday I'll be able to stop looking over my shoulder, to stop thinking who is aiming for my life next and who will I have to kill in order to preserve my own. Her eyes are full of complete understanding, of complete exceptance and love. Something I never believed I deserved, the rotten soul that dwells on the brink of madness, made up of the blood of others, sustained by the darkness within. I never thought such a beautiful and pure soul would be in my arms, despite the animosity that brought her back to me. I know she can feel the tremors, can feel the twitches I'm trying not to let out. My body aches but having her in my arms, I would take this same fate over and over again.

The night begins to come alive as all the assortment of life living around us ward off the tensed atmosphere from earlier, even the lake begins to ripple in the gentle breeze that picks up. I don't want to think about ; this moment, but I know it has to end by either our doing or some external force. I slip my fingers beneath her chin and bring her gaze to mine, pressing a soft chaste kiss to her lips I murmur.

"It's not over."

Clarisa shakes her head requesting there be no more for the night, that all she wants now is sleep, all else can wait. A deep sickening sinking feeling sets in but I'm sure it's just the restless night around us, I stand and offer my hand, waiting for Clarisa to take it.

The corridors are silent with no one occupying them save Peeves; the painful reminder that there is no way to rid the castle of his presence, who is floating upside down off of the entrance into the Great hall. I shoot the ghost a nasty look while leading Clarisa away from whatever traps the terror might have in store for unsuspecting victims.

I realise soon enough that curfew has yet to be broken as I break two students apart from inappropriate activities with a simple and yet languid motion of my hand, I say nothing as I receive glares from the pair, all the while Clarisa is trying to detour me from such things. I turn my head slightly to give her a short non-threatening glare in which she just smirks wearily. I pause for the briefest of moments when I spot Alexander before she does, I growl as I expect the worst.

"Severus, Clarisa." Clarisa tenses beneath my arm and begins to increase her grip. "Can you both please come with me, now."

I open my mouth to respond but Clarisa is quicker than I am.

"I'm not in the mood for your games, not anymore. So no, I'm going to have a nice bath then sleep off all the shit you put me through."

I look between the two and unfortunately I can feel the anger beginning to swirl around us, Clarisa has her wand drawn; had drawn it before either of us had noticed, and pointing it directly at Alexander. A look of great determination planting firmly upon her face, I now know how much she is willing to fight for what she wants, cemented now within my mind. I subtly step between them but what happens next goes in a flash of rushing movement. Clarisa had struck with lightning speed just miliseconds after Alexander had placed his hand upon my shoulder, now he is frozen against the wall while her magic encircles her and myself, fire blazing within her eyes.

"To sway my daughter is a big mistake brother."

The world freezes and it seems that I am not the only one this particular phenomenon is happening to, I can hear my pulse quickening and feel the blood rushing through my veins as it takea forever for me to turn my head and body. The old wound in my stomach starts to pulse, I can feel a different magic calling to me, one I had not tasted in a long time. Time snaps suddenly and while Alexander is freed from the wall, he still can not move. My eyes meet crimson ones alight with such fire that I shiver ever so slightly, crimson hair moves eloquently like firery wips ready to strike. Larissa stands at the entrance to the Great hall, unaffected by time, by years. For every bit of beauty there is an air of fear inducing power that surrounds her, breath-taking amounts that make even the strongest of wizards bend to her will.

"Larissa."

Her name slips from my lips in a haunting whisper but it's enough to make Clarisa look at me then at Larissa, her eyes going wide.

"I see I am not forgotten." Larissa speaks softly while looking at me.

Alexander breaks free of Clarisa's spell and steps forward, his eyes going wide also. It is silent in the halls around us and if any students are out, they are keeping quiet. For several long moments the silence is deafening yet I can hear every thought in Clarisa's mind, she is not guarding at all as she stares at an older version of herself. I do not feel sorrow or remorse as her thoughts are in complete diarray and as my mind is completely void, I'm numb in a sense. Alexander makes the first move, he walks over to Larissa who is still silhouetted by the moon's ligh in the doorway and embraces her without another word. Larissa embraces him back but her eyes never leave me or Clarisa, I look away only to look at Clarisa and as I do so I move closer to her and allow for her to rest back against me. Larissa raises a brow and lets Alexander go before moving swiftly over toward us, I know the look, the look of a protective mother. Larissa stops a few steps in front of me and looks up and down before looking at Clarissa,

"I see you have cared for my daughter as you promised and did not reveal my existence before the time was right." Larissa looks back at me, "For that, I thank you Severus."

I am unable to respond as I stare at Larissa, I had truely thought that I would never see her again, that the vow would die with me. Yet here she is standing, in flesh and blood and alive. My mind is trying to revert back to when I was twenty, old feelings I thought had died are surfacing, but they are not strong enough to sway my love for Clarissa. I bring Clarissa to me even closer and push my nose into her hair, smelling and feeling her soft strands as my eyes never leave Larissa. Her eyes flash with something akin to anger but soon soften as Clarisa leans back into me, she smiles softly.

"I don't think I could have picked a better man for you my daughter," Larissa places her hand on Clarisa's cheek, "I know he will take care you, just as he has done all this time."

To be continued...

Sneek peek into the sequel-

"Severus, you can't be seriously thinking about leaving, not after so long, not for me."

I nod my head, I had spent too many years as a Hogwarts teacher, now, it is time to teach my child. Clarissa looks at me dumbfounded, then shakes her head.

"She will need you to protect her, please, just stay a little while longer."

I can't say no as Clarissa puts on the exact facial expression she use to don when she was younger, I sigh and concede, but only for her. She nearly topples me over the kitchen chair in our joint chambers; set by Minerva thankfully, and plants a rather passionate kiss upon my lips.

...