Killing Game

By Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: This is only a sandbox that I like to play in. Sadly, it is not mine.

Chapter 16

She had given herself until the end of the week. Sharon didn't bring up the promotion and transfer again, although it appeared on several occasions as though she might. Andy was tempted to ask, especially when he caught her lost in thought, and obviously considering the possibilities that lay before them. In the days that followed Taylor's visit there was plenty more to keep him occupied. He was curious, and he knew that Sharon was aware of his curiosity, but experience had taught him that she would discuss it when she was ready. In the meantime they had Rusty to take care of. They brought him home three days later; a mild fever had delayed his release by a day and the physician supervising his care kept him in the hospital for observation and treatment of a possible post-operative infection. When the fever did little more than fade away to nothing after a bolus of antibiotics, Rusty was released and sent home with a prescription for the full antibiotic regimen.

Rusty began teasing Sharon and Andy about their current living arrangements the moment that he was situated at the Lieutenant's home, and it became apparent from his gleeful expression that he had been waiting to do just that. "If we're going to end up playing musical houses, why don't the two of you just move in together…"

The couple stared at him for just a moment before Sharon turned to Andy. "Only if the yard is big enough for a pool."

His head tilted and his lips pursed while he thought about it. He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "We could even get a dog," he mused.

Her eyes lit up with amusement. Sharon nodded slowly. "Something in a nice, obnoxious, medium sized terrier. You know, the kind that bounces all over the place and generally makes a nuisance of itself."

"Hm." Andy nodded. "Yeah. We could name it Rusty Junior."

"Yes." Sharon smiled brightly. "When he is exceptionally naughty we will just point at him and say stop that!" She did just that to Rusty and her eyes narrowed into a stern look. Her son was smiling at her and attempting to look oh so innocent where he was reclining on the bed that they had deposited him on. She wasn't about to fall for it. She knew her boy entirely too well, and from the snickering that she heard coming from the hall, Sharon also knew that this had his older siblings written all over it too. "Emily Ann, Richard William, Russell Thomas, you will all behave and conduct yourselves like the respectful and polite guests that I expect you to be while Andy is allowing us to use his home."

Ricky poked his head into the room at that point. "But mom…" His dark eyes were sparkling with mischief. "Andy said that we aren't guests here. He said that his house was our house."

Sharon's lips pursed again. She passed her tongue over her teeth and rolled her eyes toward her boyfriend. Her brow arched. "Andy."

He shrugged. Andy tossed his hands up in a helpless, innocent gesture. "What? I was trying to be supportive. How was I supposed to know that they would use it against me?" He arched a brow at her. The corners of his mouth twitched. A crooked grin appeared as he added, "They're your little hoodlums, not mine."

He turned and sauntered casually from the room. Sharon's eyes narrowed at his back. "Rusty, do you have everything that you need?"

"Sure." He folded his lips together. He was trying very hard not to laugh. "I'm good here, Sharon. Nice and comfy. Actually, on second thought, you know my Interview with a Vampire poster would look great on that wall…" He trailed off when she turned her narrow-eyed gaze on him. Rusty's lips trembled with the effort to contain his laughter. "Or not," he managed.

She stared hard at him until he looked away. If he was still trying very hard to not laugh, Sharon chose to ignore that. "Excuse me," she stated. "There is a situation that I need to deal with." Sharon turned and made her way out of the room. She was still moving slowly, even a few days later, but her shoulder did not throb as badly, or as often, as it had in the days initially following the shooting. Almost two weeks later, although it was still in the brace, it was healing well. She made her way into the hall and paused only long enough to playfully slap her eldest son's arm. She shook her head at him and rolled her eyes when he only laughed. "Keep an eye on your brother," she instructed.

"Why?" Ricky flashed a playful smirk at her. "Is he going to do something?" When his mother glared at him he dodged quickly into Rusty's room before she could retaliate.

Sharon followed Andy down the hall to his room, the one that they were currently sharing, and stood just inside the doorway for a moment. She watched him as he took a suit out of his closet and hung it on a hook beside the closet door. As he paired it with a shirt and matching tie, playing close attention to the match, Sharon stifled a laugh. She had spent the last few mornings watching him go through his morning routine as he got ready for work, and she honestly had to question who took the most time in the mornings, her or him. Sharon walked into the room and moved over to take a seat on the bed. She chose the side nearest him and slid back, closer to the center of the bed, before she drew her legs up and folded them in front of her.

Andy had taken the afternoon off so that they could get Rusty settled, and things were quiet for their division at the moment, but they could not expect that to remain the status quo indefinitely. Sharon understood why he was getting ready to have to leave. He could be called out at a moment's notice. She watched him pull a small, hanging rack out of his closet. It held several sets of suspenders. Her lips curved into a smile as he sorted through them. "The red ones," she said. He had chosen the gray, slate colored shirt to wear with his dark suit, along with the red striped tie.

He pulled the red suspenders free of the rack and draped them over the hanger that held his suit. After he had replaced the rack in his closet and closed the door, he walked over to join her on the bed. "Provenza ever finds out that I'm letting you dress me I'm done for."

Sharon chuckled quietly. "At least I'm not buying your clothes for you." When he only arched a brow at her Sharon was reminded of the purple tie and matching suspenders that she had gotten him for Christmas. "Oh," she smiled. "Your secret is safe with me."

Andy laughed. "I should hope so." He looked over at her, seated on his bed. Her hair was twisted up into a messy bun with several tendrils falling to frame and curl around her neck and face. She was wearing a loose knit top and a pair of yoga pants. She was casual and comfortable and if it weren't for the brace, it would have been the sexiest thing that he had seen of her yet. Andy realized as she sat there that she looked pensive. He was once again tempted to ask, and this time he did not restrain himself. "Did you make a decision?"

They both knew what he was asking. Sharon looked down for a moment. She picked at the edge of the sling that her injured arm was resting in. "I did." Now that she had come to it, she didn't really regret the decision. Sharon looked up at him and a small smile curved her lips. "Andy, if I…"

He cupped the back of her head and drew her toward him. Andy kissed her before she could go any farther. It lingered for a moment and he felt her smile against his mouth. "Not if," he rumbled quietly when he drew away. "When, Sharon. You decided and I'm not going to try and change your mind."

"I know that," she whispered. Sharon reached up and curled her hand around his wrist. "You do not have to try and change my mind. If you are not okay with the decision that I made, then it doesn't leave this room, and I will tell Taylor—"

"No you won't," Andy leaned back. "It doesn't have anything to do with me, Sharon. I already told you how I feel about it. If you stay with us in Major Crimes, that's great. If you're not then…" Andy trailed off with a shrug and a crooked grin. "That just means we're going to have less time together to look for a place with a yard and a pool. So what? I tell people that my girl makes the rules, and you tell those jokers in FID to toss the book at me if I get in trouble. We've gotten pretty good the last few months at keeping work where it belongs. I don't see how that's going to change." When she opened her mouth to respond, he pressed a finger against her lips. "And if anyone runs off at the mouth about us, then you'd better get ready to send me to Anger Management, because I will probably end up in Wheaton's office."

Sharon smiled at him. It lit her eyes and brightened her face. Her pallor had been returning to normal the last few days, and now she practically glowed with happiness. "Then I suggest that you pull out your old notes from the last time that you sat in one of those classes," she said, voice thick with emotion, "because it sounds like you may end up doing it again." She rubbed her lips together and shrugged her good shoulder at him. "You were right, Andy. So was Taylor, although I am really loath to admit that. I cannot think of anyone else that I would trust to correct the situation that was created by Sergeant Staples and the others. Maybe it is ego, or my own need to control things, but I keep coming back to the same thought. I have loved working with you, and the last four years with Major Crimes have been extraordinary. I would not change any of it, well, there are a few exceptions, but for the most part I know that I have been incredibly blessed to be part of that division. I also know that for that unit to be able to function, for any of us to be able to do the jobs that we are sworn to do, we have to know that we are safe. We have to be able to trust the people standing beside us. I need to know that when my son leaves the house that he isn't going to be targeted by someone that I am working with. I know that I cannot guarantee anyone's safety, but I can try." She looked down again. "I only hope that you will still like me when I start tossing new rules at you."

"Are you kidding me?" He scoffed quietly. When it drew her gaze back to him, Andy stared back at her. "I can't think of a whole lot that will make me stop liking you and I can think of a hell of a lot less that would make me stop loving you. You're too damned smart to be that idiotic, Sharon. It's not gonna happen. Hell, I'm the least of your worries. What you gotta keep in mind is whether or not the others are going to let you go. Even after they do, nothing is going to change. Especially not for you and me. I'm not going anywhere."

"Good." She cupped his cheek. "I like having you around." Sharon leaned forward to kiss the corner of his mouth. "Maybe," she said in a low voice, "when the dust settles and we are through the transition, and everything is on even ground again, maybe Rusty is right. Maybe there is another conversation that we need to have." At his slightly puzzled expression, she brushed her lips across. "I really like having you around all the time."

"Oh yeah?" His hand moved in to her hair. He dislodged the messy bun so that her hair spilled around his hand. He tugged her carefully toward him and kissed her bottom lip. "Maybe we should do that. I kind of like having you around too. When everything settles down," he agreed. It could be months before they managed to work their way back around to that topic. They were in no rush, and as long as they both knew that they were moving in the same direction, he was content to go along for the ride. "Commander Raydor," he said, and kissed her again. "That doesn't sound bad."

"It does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" She leaned away from him. "Then it's done. I will call Taylor in the morning. I will tell the rest of the team when it is official." Her head tilted and she gave him another long, considering look. "There is something else that I plan on doing, but I cannot tell you about it yet. Just remember, you promised to love me no matter what."

"God almighty!" Andy stood up. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "You see, it's when you say things like this that I get worried."

Sharon laughed as he walked toward the door. "Where are you going?"

"To find my old Anger Management notes." He tossed a smirk back at her. "You're plotting." He pointed a finger at her. "That means I need to start studying. You're hell on heels lady, and I need all the advantages that I can get."

She snorted a laugh at his retreating back. Sharon covered her face. The laugher shook her entire body. Her shoulder twinged painfully but she ignored it. "I cannot believe that I fell in love with the LAPD's biggest smart ass." It amazed her when she considered where they had started. Looking back, Sharon wondered what she would have said if anyone had predicted this future for herself. Would she have believed them? Probably not. At the same time, she could not imagine her life moving in any other direction. Sharon hummed quietly as she stood up and made her way back down the hall. She wanted to spend time with Rusty before his next dose of pain medication, and before she needed her own. Her boy was home, and he was healing. Life was not exactly perfect, but it was moving forward again. It was all that she could ask for.

MCMCMCMCMCMC

In the weeks that followed Rusty was on his feet and released by his physician to return to school before Sharon was released to return to work. Three weeks after her initial surgery a second, laparoscopic procedure was done to further repair the damage that was done by the bullet that struck her. Recovery from the second surgery went much more smoothly and she began physical therapy soon after. Sharon was released back to desk duty almost six full weeks following the shooting.

When she returned it was to several meetings held in Chief Taylor's office as they discussed the transfer and promotion that would place her back in Internal Affairs. Once it was made official she informed her division. As expected they had not liked it. Lieutenant Provenza took issue with the fact that his partner had not given him the heads up about the situation. Sanchez was upset that she was leaving them. Amy had congratulated her Captain, but the younger woman's distress was apparent. The deed was done, and she would be transitioning out of Major Crimes at the end of the month. There was only one other thing that she needed to do first.

Sharon asked Buzz to stay behind after the others left her office. Lieutenant Provenza had given her a hard, suspicious look. Once he was on the other side of the door he pointed a finger at Flynn. "You and I are going to have words," he promised.

Andy rolled his eyes. "You don't discuss your girlfriend's career aspirations with me. I'm not discussing mine with you." He sat down behind his desk and opened the file that he was reviewing before Sharon called them in for the meeting.

Provenza continued to glower darkly at him. "Do you know what she's in there doing right now? That woman is up to no good!" His eyes narrowed. "Did you know about that too?"

"Nope." Andy hadn't even considered this possibility when Sharon indicated that there would be more changes coming their way. He looked up at Provenza and shrugged. "It's not really up to me either. It's not up to you. Whatever is going on in there is between them."

"Everything is about to change," Sanchez said quietly. He was watching the office. They all were. The blinds were still open. Buzz was seated in front of the Captain's desk and the two appeared to be engaged in a serious discussion.

"It's not a bad thing." Tao sat down in his chair but turned to face the others. "I think I know what that's about, and if I'm right." He looked around the room. "If we are all right about it, this could actually be good for all of us."

Provenza scowled at him. "How do you figure?"

Tao shrugged. "The Captain's rules have never been unreasonable. Inconvenient at times, but never impossible to follow. We can't say that we haven't all thought about who in Internal Affairs is on the take now. We're all thinking it. The whole department is. I don't want to see the Captain go," he clarified, "but once she does, I'll feel better about what is going on in IA."

They could not argue with that logic. Even Amy found herself nodding. "What about Buzz?" She asked. "What does he have to do with this?"

"Buzz has always liked rules," Julio said quietly. "He's fresh. He's eager. He wants to do it right."

"And we won't be able to protect him forever." It was Andy that said it. He looked at each of them individually. For how long had they covered Buzz's back, even after he began his training to become a reserve officer? How many times had they sent him out of harm's way, taken his camera because the crime scene was too gruesome, and protected him from the horrors of the world? He was not a child. They never treated him like one. What they had done was stand between him and danger, between him and darkness. They bore the brunt of it, they carried the cynicism, and some of them were getting old. "Do you want him riding a beat," Andy continued, "after we're long gone and not there to keep an eye out, or do you want him learning something else, from someone else." He jerked his head toward the Captain's office.

Silence settled over the Murder Room as they all considered that. It was Julio that finally broke it. He leaned back in his chair. He looked heavenward for a moment before he spoke. "It takes someone special to police the police."

Provenza grumbled as he walked to his desk. He sat down behind it with a sigh. "Fine," he said. "But he's not allowed to go anywhere until he finishes showing me how to play that damned bird game on my phone."

Tao snorted and turned away. Andy rolled his eyes again. Amy was the only one who spoke. She sat straight in her chair. "Don't worry, Lieutenant. There is a book that will help." When she had his attention she flashed a wide, cheeky smile. "It's called Angry Birds for Senior Citizens. I'll print it for you. You'll love it."

Julio lowered his head to his desk as he laughed. He could hear the Lieutenant sputtering. Everything was about to change, but a lot of other things would stay the same. They would figure it out, they always did.

In her office, Sharon watched as Buzz thought over the offer that she had just made him. When she considered her transfer she also thought about those within Internal Affairs that she could trust. There were precious few names on that list now. She was also fully aware that there was not much career left in front of her. Sooner than she probably wanted to admit she would be making the choice to retire. If she was going to make this move, if she was going to put in the very long hours of work that would be required to clean up the mess that others had made and then ensure that it never happened again… she wanted to know that when she did leave the LAPD she would be leaving her legacy in good hands. There were only a few people that she could think of that would be able to maintain the level of ethics and professionalism that she expected, and she did not think that any of them had the potential to lead.

Buzz was a long way from that now, but she thought that she might just have enough years left in the LAPD to get him where she needed him to be. He would need to study hard. There were classes and exams that he would have to take to be eligible, but she could take him with her. There would be a place for him in Internal Affairs. He was still only a reserve officer, but with just a few changes to his training, that could change. Sharon could sponsor him through those changes.

"You see the world in a way that very few would, or could, given everything that you have seen and experienced during your time here. You look for the right in people, Buzz. Even when most of us are not sure that it exists any longer. You believe that at their core people are fundamentally good, that they want to do good. It also puts you in a unique position to be able to see the bad when it is present. I know that you wanted to be an officer and you chose a different path for your mother's sake. You have been invaluable to this team. What I am suggesting is the opportunity for you to be invaluable to this department. You still want to be an officer, and I have supported that because I think that you have great potential. I just feel that your potential would be better suited stepping beyond the camera and beyond your reserve status."

He didn't know what to say. He truly did not. Often Buzz felt like he was in the background, barely seen and utilized when needed. He felt a little like his camera sometimes. He knew that his work was important. He never regretted the contributions that he made, and he certainly never thought less of them. His team supported him when he began training for reserve officer status. They stood behind him. They helped where they could and offered advice. They taught him, as much as they tried to protect him. He was not blind to that. He had always appreciated it. He was beginning to feel now, though, that it was his turn. He wanted to return the favor. He wanted to protect those that he cared about.

Buzz never considered a career in Internal Affairs. It never crossed his mind, although he always understood the need for that division. He never thought that any of the officers assigned to IA were bad people, although some of them could do with some attitude adjusting. Or maybe that was his perception based upon being on the outside. The Captain was not so bad when they had gotten to know her. Now that he was learning the rulebook, Buzz understood better why it was that she adhered so closely to it. To protect the law they had to work inside of it, they could not place themselves above it.

He frowned. "A badge is not a shield." He watched her brows rise in confusion. "When you were in surgery someone said that. They said that…" Buzz returned her gaze, "They said that you said that our badges were not shields for us to hide behind. They protect the city, they do not protect us from ourselves."

"I did." Sharon could not recall now if it was Andy or Julio that she said those words to, but she did remember saying them. She believed them. "It is harder to look inside our own walls than it is to look outside of them," she repeated the rest of that statement. "It is a thankless, unappreciated, and often despised job, but it is necessary. We are human, Buzz, and even the best among us can stumble occasionally. The hard part is determining who can be saved, and who should be cut loose. Who is merely lost, and which officers should be forgotten." Sharon leaned back in her chair. "I have fired officers that needed to be. I have seen them taken away in handcuffs. I have also sent them to rehab, and watched them flourish after they returned. I have stood between officers whose reputations would be tarnished by a baseless accusation and those casting the stones. I have rarely been thanked. In the end, the city was safer for those that I could save, and it and this department were safer when I had to let one go. If you go with me, there will be times when you hate this job. You will hate yourself. You will probably hate me. But you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror. You will sleep well." Her gaze shifted and she looked out into the Murder Room. Activity there had settled down. "You will know that the people that you care about are as safe as you can make them."

He followed her gaze. Buzz watched the Lieutenants, Amy and Julio go about their usual duties. There was some chatter, although they couldn't hear it. "Most of the camera and electronic equipment is mine," he pointed out. "Who will they get to operate it?"

A smile curved Sharon's lips. "We will find someone. We won't leave them in the lurch." She tilted her head and arched her brows at him. "So, is that a yes?"

Buzz turned in his seat and looked at her again. A smile slowly blossomed. It lit up his blue eyes. "When do we start?"

There was still much to discuss and forms that would need to be signed and completed. Sharon had a list of classes that he would have to take at the Academy. They would work his schedule around the course load, and exchange experience for a couple of them. Most of them he had already completed for his reserve training. She could not contain her smile as she sent Buzz back to work. She looked through the glass walls around her office and into the Murder Room again. She caught Andy looking back at her. When his head tilted in askance Sharon nodded once. She had not told him what she was planning but he seemed to have guessed correctly. Sharon watched him stand as Buzz walked by. He slapped the younger man on the shoulder and shook his hand. Through her open door Sharon could hear him congratulating him. The others were slow to follow suit, but they did.

Sharon drew a breath and let it out slowly. Whatever her concerns had been leading up to today, she knew that they were unnecessary. She could count on Andy to be the first to have her back. He had been the first to do that four years ago when she made the move to join this team. Now he was leading the way as she prepared to leave it. It was always Andy. He was important to her even before she had known it. Sharon allowed her gaze to drift a bit. Her smile softened. She only wished that he would not discount his ability to lead. Buzz was not the only one with potential. But then, she might be biased. Heaven knew how much she loved that man. She shook her head to clear it and rose from behind her desk. Sharon decided to join her team, while they were still her team. There was work to be done, but they could have this moment. The time that they had left together was fleeting. The clock was ticking again, but the path in front of them was about to broaden.

It would not be easy. She would miss this. She would miss them. For now, however, they were celebrating Buzz's new opportunity. They were congratulating her promotion. Whatever line had existed before was swept away. She would not allow it to be drawn again. Whatever happened after today, she would greet the possibilities with an open mind; the potential that lay before them created hope. To live in a place where duty was not an afterthought. Where accountability was not taken for granted.

A place where killing was not a game for those sworn to protect the innocent.

~FIN