Rey looks into the garbage chute where Kylo Ren is currently sitting. "You gonna crawl out of there any time soon?" she asks. Her face crumples in worry. "I think it's garbage day, Ren. You're gonna get crushed."

"Leave me alone," he mumbles, refusing to budge.

"Why the hell are you even still there? It's been days since-"

"I said leave me alone!" he yells.

Rey crosses her arms over her chest. Living on Jakku has forced her to do many disgusting things, but she's nowhere near willing to crawl into a trash compactor. She sighs, blows a strand of hair out of her face. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Either Ren's milking it or he genuinely didn't hear her, Rey can't tell. From the way he's squinting up at her, it must be the latter.

Rey groans. "I said I'm sorry!"

There's a sudden storm of noise from the dark depths of the garbage chute. Kylo Ren immediately scrambles up out of the trashes, using Phasma's head as a stepping stone. He's clinging to the ledge when he gets a good look at Rey. "Does that mean you'll date me? Or at least let me train you?"

"Even though we're most likely cousins, sure!" Rey says. She pulls him out the rest of the way. Even covered in rotten food, he was still handsome.

So that day, Kylo Ren and Rey started a weird boyfriend-girlfriend-master-student relationship that definitely would have been illegal on most sane planets.

2 Weeks Later

"Holy shit you are the whiniest man I have ever met."

"You're hair is stupid, you should change it."

"You're not even listening to me, are you?"

Kylo Ren glares. "I was listening!" he said. "You refused to change your hairstyle even though I told you to for days now!"

"You can't just tell me what to do, Kylo," Rey says. "This isn't even the first time you've blown up at me because I wouldn't do something you wanted me to!"

Kylo Ren pouts like a child. What a fucking baby. "I deserve what I want," he seethed not-so-menacingly, trying to make himself look intimidating to Rey. "And if I don't get it, I'll take it."

Rey was thoroughly disgusted. "You can't say shit like that, Kyle."

"IT'S KYLO!" He shrieks, his voice cracking in the middle. He stomps his floor. "You're mean! You're a jerk! You're-"

"You're a bitch who throws a temper tantrum whenever he doesn't get what he wants. We went to McDonald's and when they told you the ice cream machine was broken, you almost killed the cashier." Every aspect of this relationship was a mistake. Why did she veen agree to be trained by him? He was barely trained himself! Who the fuck would support this relationship?!

"We're breaking up-which is good because we're probably cousins anyway, which...gross." Rey turns to walk out the door when Kylo Ren activates his lightsaber.

"Like I said before," he growled, "I always get what I want." He tried to kill her. She handed his ass to him, unsurprisingly.

"Go fuck yourself, Rylo Ken!" Rey slams him into another trash compactor and turns it on. He's smooshed to a pulp because even though he bragged that he had an eight pack, that he was shredded, he weighed thirty pounds soaking wet. He was a punk ass bitch.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shrieked. Jesus Christ he sounded like a twelve year old when he got loud.

Rey went home and made pancakes with Finn and Poe, two non-whiny, non-punk ass bitches.