She found him exactly where she had been, though the aging day had ushered in a higher tide. Just meters ahead of her was the old jedi, knees sinking into the cold sand, as freezing water passed over his lap and settled into the earth behind him. It was impossible for Rey to understand how he could stand that encompassing, shivering aqua. Thus, she set forth, and met him at his side, settling down onto her calves. It was quiet at first, neither sharing greeting, a gaze, a breath, even.

The air went still.

The water, she found, was as cold as she had imagined. Contact with it resulted in an immediate reaction of goosebumps sprouting up on her arms and legs. The girl shivered, and glanced to her master, who, with his hood discarded and face unobstructed, looked tranquil. There was no evidence of imbalance within him. This left Rey endlessly in awe.

Slowly, wind picked up, and brushed through the two's hair, lifted each strand up and embracing it, before bidding farewell and continuing up the face of the hill. The minutia of nature became more and more visible to Rey as her training picked up. She could feel every deviation in the direction of wind, every pitch difference in the lapping tide, even every individual blade of grass swaying against her exposed ankle as she explored the hill.

It was strange, she mused, to be this familiar, this intimate, with something so vast, so easily unnoticed, so infinite that even deliberate acquainting would matter little.

Luke turned her way, but his eyes remained lowered, connected indefinitely with the waves crashing into his legs.

"Now it is your turn," he murmured, allowing his words to weep, sadness betrayed by his wavering voice. "How much do you remember?"

I'm gonna miss you.

Rey could only focus on the dream. Was it memory? Was it coincidence? Discerning it proved troubling, for she knew it could only be a memory, but that fact left her chilled to her core. Being affiliated, rather friends with Kylo Ren seemed despicable, almost a betrayal of herself. The idea was cold, it felt like hot water hitting frost-nibbled fingers. It hurt her in the most ambigious and encumbering manner.

I'm gonna miss you.

The air went from slowly stirring to a frenzied whir. It was frantic, practically anxious, tugging at her, screaming at her. But she could not focus on it. The dream was overwhelming. It consumed her, and she let it.

It didn't matter anymore if she hated Kylo Ren. She was desperate to know the past he took away from her, even if he was the most important part of it. Rey needed to know who she was before Jakku.

Before consciousness slipped away at her, she heard Luke offer reassurance, and then he grabbed her, placing her carefully on the dry ground. The moment preceding her escape from reality, she saw Luke frown, say something unintelligible, and felt something cold and wet hit her cheek. It rolled down the length of it, reaching her jaw right as she was gone.

Dark. Very dark. Black, actually.

She blinked.

She couldn't tell if her eyes actually opened.

But a voice echoed, behind her, she thought, but then it was in front of her. Around her. Bouncing back and forth as if it was hitting a collection of mirrors placed in a circle encompassing Rey. Her ears were focused on the voice, trying to catch it as it bounced again and headed for her.

"Uncle."

Her eyes widened at the familiarity of the voice. It bounced again.

"Scared."

She chased after it, her legs somehow weak and challenging. They felt like jelly. She could control each one, but they wouldn't give much back. It was taxing, to say the least. Still, she pursued the voice, and noticed in the far distance as a light emanated. It was dim due to its length away from Rey, but seeing it sparked energy within her. With what strength she had, she sprinted forward, ignoring her legs' lethargy. The light came closer with each step.

And when she arrived, the blackness behind her dissolved. It had been holding her up, she found, for when it disappeared she fell into the light.

When Rey looked around her, she felt small, as if she was a few feet shorter. Her gaze sunk down, and she nearly jumped at the sight of her tiny body. Her arms were chubby and soft, and her outfit was both familiar and unfamiliar. The colours were reminiscent of her attire on Jakku, but it was also thicker, and more akin to a robe.

Then she looked up. Unbeknownst to her, her legs were moving her forward. They were moving her towards a shelter, its front door slightly ajar. From within she heard quiet mumbling, a conversation masked by the outer walls of the housing. When she came close, the musings became more distinguishable. Rey had noticed she had no control of her body, if it even was hers. It moved separate from her wishes, and she was merely a viewer.

The body leaned into the structure, ears leaning into the crack in the door.

She heard Luke's voice. As well as Ben's.

Kylo's, she corrected inwardly.

Though it was higher, and more soft. Not the coarse, low rumble she was accustomed to and sincerely afraid of.

She leaned in further, and listened.

"Did you tell Han and Leia about this?" questioned the elder, almost sternly, as if lecturing Ren.

She couldn't see what was going on inside, so she conjured up her own mental image.

The girl assumed Ren to be timid, holding his arms close to his chest, his wispy black hair tangled behind him in a mess of sweat and dirt. He would wear the padawan robes.

Padawan robes.

Rey remembered her attire.

It clicked within her that she really was in her own body.

A memory, came a known voice, intruding upon her inner thoughts. The only insight I'll offer you, Rey. Now I want you to experience all of this alone. I want you to remember Ben and I as we actually are.

And the voice was gone.

Her body was tugging her away from Luke's message as it peered within the door frame. She caught a glimpse of the two. Luke looked so much younger, she noticed. And he only just started sprouting hairs from his chin, which formed a light-coloured line across his jaw. Luke crossed his arms and leaned back into a table behind him. Before him was Ben.

She felt a tinge of excitement, warmness. A feeling of fondness that was foreign to Rey. Looking into the face of the young knight left her happy, which disgusted her.

"N-not yet," said Ben, and Rey focused in on the conversation. "I don't want them to know. They'd be worried."

Luke nodded. "It's okay, Ben. I'll tell them, and assure them of your safety." Suddenly, Luke's eyes narrowed, and Rey's small frame pulled her away from the door. She couldn't see in anymore, but after a pause, Luke continued, which assured her that they weren't noticed. Yet.

"I know you're afraid of Snoke, Ben. I know of your temptations." The jedi's voice grew urgent. "Snoke has been alluring you from the very beginning, I'm afraid."

She could hear a small whimper, presumably from Ben.

"Since I was a baby?" he asked. She could hear no answer.

"This mission I've been preparing you for. I think it's time I tell you what it actually is."

"I don't like this, uncle." Ben's voice sounded so quiet, so innocent. Rey genuinely sympathised with him. Had he actually been toyed with by Snoke since he was a kid? She wondered.

"I know you don't, Ben." A silence lengthened the anxiety Rey's little body felt. It was fearful for the fate of its best friend. But, eventually the answer had to be known, and she tensed at the sound of Luke's voice.

"You're going to accept Snoke's training."

She heard a gasp from the room, and subsequently Ben yelling his objections. He had been known to have a short fuse. It was something Rey had come to fear about him, but she was also one of the few people to be able to calm him down. She desperately wanted to go in there and make him feel better, but fear glued her to her spot.

At that moment, Rey couldn't tell if what she felt belonged to her, or her younger self. Every feeling mingled together, stewing to become a concoction of familiarity, and love, in addition to fear and loathing. She wanted to hate him, but those emotions paled in the presence of her younger self's affection for her "best friend Benni."

In the end, she could only feel pain for Ben Solo.

"I don't want to, uncle," he whimpered, his voice fragile. He was somewhat nasally, due to the sobbing she could hear from within. "I'm scared."

"You have to, Ben." Footsteps sounded inside the house, and she assembled the scene before her: Luke walks up to Ben, kneels down, and places a hand on his face. "And it's going to get harder."

No response, so Luke continues.

"You're going to have to do whatever Snoke asks of you. Even if that means killing me, your family, your friends. You'll do everything he demands, because if you're going to assassinate Snoke, you'll have to be incredibly close to him, Ben."

"I'm assassinating Snoke?" his voice came in a quiet mumble.

"Yes, Ben. I'll tell you more of this plan later, but I want you to go sleep. Think about what I've told you. You must prepare yourself for the worst."

"Of course, uncle." She heard footsteps approach the door, and before she could make her escape, Ben was there. His face betrayed the effect the conversation had on him. His cheeks and lips were puffy, and his eyes were a deep pink, and the glisten of tears were smeared on every inch of his features. He locked eyes with Rey, whimpered once more, and walked forward.

"Ben-!" she called after him, but he wouldn't turn back. Her heart sank to see him so low. The tiny legs that kept her rooted toward the door now sprinted forward after her friend, but she was stopped by a force. Her body was still in the air, still assuming a running stance. She looked behind her to see Master Luke with his hand up, holding her in the air.

"Rey..."

He let go of her, and she knew she was in trouble. Turning the other way, she met Luke at the door frame, and stood with her head hanging.

Luke knelt before her, now at eye level with the little girl.

"You're going to be a part of this mission, too. Come with me."

Rey watched as he stood and entered the shelter. As she moved forward to join him, everything went black again. And as everything went back, she fell again.

Rey jolted up, her eyes wide, swiping side to side as she assessed her surroundings. The ground was beneath her, a solid and comforting presence after having fallen into oblivion. Heart racing and hands shaking she looked up at Luke, who watched her with tired eyes. Jaw slightly hanging, she gazed deeply into him, and searched into the abyss for answers. But he blocked her out. He blocked her out, damn it!

Shaking not from panic, but now from anger, she leaned closer to him, and gritted her teeth.

"I was a part of this?" yelled Rey. "I was five years old, and you made me a part of your wretched scheme?"

Luke was weary, therefore offering no answer. His eyes were very telling of his remorse.

"I can't believe you! I can't believe you orchestrated all of this!" The woman pushed herself off the ground and stomped forward, standing a few feet behind Luke. Shoulders arched and arms tensely locked together, she glared through tear-soaked eyes at the beach beneath her. "You told him to take me away?" she asked, her voice ebbing into hurt, as she recalled the emotions that accompanied losing Han, and learning of her parents' deaths.

His silence told all. Rey needed to hear nothing more.

Heaving through grinding teeth, she shook her head furiously. "I can't do this. I just- I can't." The scavenger headed down the stairs into the temple, each step heavier than the last. Images of the past flashed in her mind in incomprehensible waves. Faces she didn't recognise, memories she couldn't place. A sense of isolation washed over her. These memories had come every once in a while, and Luke would explain them as they appeared. But now it felt as if her entire past had popped up into her mind, and the sheer number of experiences she had lost being a part of her memory bank all at once left her with a throbbing headache.

Rey entered Kylo Ren's room, and saw him sleeping in his bed. Her bed. The one she could really use at the moment.

Her eyes scoured his body, which lifted gently with each breath. It was quite a sight to behold: the First Order's Kylo Ren, scourge of the jedi, peacefully asleep, incapable of harm or evil in this sedated state.

Still, the sight of him left her a little on-edge. She prepared for him awaking and seeing her, rising out of his bed, and taking her away. To torture her. To probe her mind. To hurt her and her friends. Heat reached her cheeks as she thought of what he had done to Finn.

Suddenly, he stirred, and Rey could tell his was waking up. She hurried to her feet, and tried to leave for another room in the temple, one hopefully with a bed, when his voice stopped her.

"It's really hard to sleep when you're thinking about me so much." When she turned around to face him, he was sitting up in the bed, his eyes watching his hands that sat plainly in his lap. "Especially when all you think about is how much you hate me." He looked up at her with his dark eyes, which were soft, and spoke words her ears couldn't pick up.

Kylo Ren had soft features. He had round cheeks that were kissed with a plethora of freckles. He had a protruding nose, which reminded her of his father's. He had supple lips, which she had only ever seen frown. But at this moment, they smiled for her.

And she was reminded of something. Kylo Ren looked exactly like Ben Solo.

He looked at her the way her old friend had, and she grimaced.

"I'll never accept this. I can't see you as anything but dark," she said coldly.

"Unfortunate." He turned away, and played at the leather gloves concealing his hands.

"It's all I know of you!" she continued. "You've tried to kill me! You've hunted me down, and you've hurt my friends."

Ben could feel it in her. Her words only amplified the rage that spilled over her edges. Getting to his feet, he approached her slowly, as to not incite violence from him. Talking at even ground proved relaxing for him, and not having to look up at her as if she was scolding him made the conversation more equal for the both of them.

For Rey, however, him approaching her made her insides scream. Fear climbed up every bone in her body until it settled in her chest, leaving her cold, hollow, desperately afraid.

"D-don't come near me," she barked.

"I won't come any closer. I just want you to do something for me." She was ready to object, but he cut her off. "You know how to enter minds, Rey. You've done it with me, and I was trying to block you out. So, do it again."

"No."

"Please," he tried.

Taken aback by his insistence, Rey humoured the idea for a moment. If he needed to plead with her, perhaps this effort wasn't meaningless. Her eyes met his again, and she searched for any ill will. But, his eyes were childlike – soft and warm. A hint of pain, so minute she had to double-take to see it, hid within his irises. And she decided to trust him.

Just this once.

Rey had no idea how she had done it the first time, but Luke had assisted her in honing this particular skill, and she was now more talented at mind tricks than any other ability jedi have. The process was now simple: she eased her way into his mind, the force being the catalyst for this endeavor. It was as if she was sliding in, along a tract of sand, and rode down into his mind.

One would expect images and clear ideas to compose a mind, but it's actually dark. It's an empty void that can only be accessed through triggers and pressure points. You had to know where to look, and how to open each door. And to find each door was even more challenging. Rey had found that searching for emotions was the best route. You found one that you knew would take you to the memory you needed, and you centered on it. Though Luke's teachings made this process more direct, Rey knew minds more intimately through her practicing on Ben. He had his guard down, and she saw into him what he had allowed no-one else to see.

This time, as she entered his mind, he was open. He was letting her in. At first, she hadn't quite realised she was in another's subconscious, for it was shockingly similar to her own thoughts and feelings. The confusion she felt as her past was clear to her again was stamped plainly on his brain waves. The anger she felt at Luke for incorporating her into his plan was plastered on each wall of his mind. And the pain she felt for both being friends and enemies with Ben Solo was the substance that composed his very soul.

Rey ejected herself from his mind immediately. Left astounded by the likeness they shared even at their most core selves, Rey took a step back, and watched Ben.

"Never pleasant," he joked quietly, rubbing two fingers into the side of his head. "I see why you hated that so much."

"Shut up," she mumbled.

"What?" he retorted. "Are you afraid that I may actually care for you? I know what you saw in me. It's the same thing I saw in you."

Rey couldn't take any more.

"I don't want to care for you," she muttered. "Even if I did, a long time ago, you're different now."

Frustration piled up in Ren as he took a step toward her. "You just looked into me! How can you say that when you know we are of the same ilk?"

She shook her head. "I have two different images of you. And neither are very appealing to me."

That line bit him. It was painful to hear that even at his best – when he was her best friend – that still wasn't enough. He took another step forward, now inches from her face. "Do you really mean that?" he whispered.

He wouldn't intrude on her thoughts. He would let her answer for herself.

"No," she replied in a small voice. "But I know you as Kylo more than I do as Ben." She looked up, and he nodded, placated with that answer. He took a step back, and let her leave at long last.

"I'm sorry," he told her as she ascended the stairs.

Before she disappeared back into the night, she replied, "I know."