A/N: Hello, guys! I am here with a new OQ fanfiction (I'm posting it for the second times because I deleted it the first time) ! Please, let me know what you think!Your opinion is really important to me!
Disclaimer: I don't own OUaT.
Summary: Season 2A. Regina is blamed for Archie's death, Henry hates her and there's no reason for her to stay in Storybrooke anymore. So she crosses the town line and loses all her memories. The only thing she remembers is her name.
It's a cold, dark and windy night and when the cloud of purple smoke disappears, Regina's whole body is shaking but it's not the cold weather which caused it, no, it's from crying. She has been crying for days now because she lost everyone she loved – first Daniel and now Henry (he's alive but he hates her).
She tugs the coat closer to her slim body and closes her eyes tightly as an annoying sob threatens to leave her mouth. Her lips are pressed tight together as she takes deep inhales through her nose until her breathing comes back to normal or what's normal to her during these hard days.
When the shaking of her body subsides, Regina opens her eyes. She needs to stay calm, she reminds herself, she came here with purpose and she cannot let an emotional stress to change her mind.
So with another inhale, she takes a step and then she's standing right in front of the town line. Just a few steps and everything will be over, a few steps and she'll finally get what she's always wanted – freedom.
She inhales again. Maybe it's not the best decision? Maybe she doesn't need to leave the town? Maybe she still has a chance? On the other hand, she has no reason to stay here. She doesn't want that chance because Henry, the only one who is important to her, hates her now and even if he'll let her be close to him, he'll never forgive her completely.
And right now it will be really hard to change Henry's mind because her son thinks that she killed that damned cricket.
But she didn't kill Archie (of course, she would like to do it but she was trying to change for Henry), she can swear on her life. But who would believe the Evil Queen?
She's not the Evil Queen anymore, she's trying to change - well, was trying to change, she's not trying anymore – but they don't believe her and it's okay because she knows that people will never change their opinion about her. She has done too much to be forgiven so easily.
She shakes her head to herself, her thoughts are hurting her, killing her from the inside. That's why she needs to step through the town line and forget everything. If she doesn't do it, she'll die from pain in her heart or worse, lose her mind.
Usually Regina's a strong woman but it seems she's reached the breaking point. She cannot take it anymore.
She opens her eyes – she didn't realize she'd closed them – and takes a few deeps breaths before taking another step. A shiver runs down her spine when only an inch separates her and the town line. She knows what will happen once she's behind the town line but missing memories aren't the scariest things to her, it's magic absence. She has lived with magic for decades, it was her everything and now she's leaving it behind, she's leaving everything behind because it's better to be without magic and no memory of herself than to see the person she loves the most hate her.
And then suddenly a sob escapes her lips, she feels her already broken heart breaking one more time, and she cannot take it anymore, she's dying from it, from this mental pain, so she takes that one needed step so she doesn't need to think anymore, so it doesn't hurt anymore.
She's finally free.
(...)
She's awake, has been awake for hours now but she hasn't opened her eyes yet, she's afraid to do so, she's so damn afraid to open her eyes because once her eyes are opened, everything will become real. And reality means the absence of memories will become the truth.
And it scares her so much because all she knows is her name. And she has been awake for hours, she has been trying to remember something, anything, but then only thing in her head is her name – Regina Mills. Nothing more, nothing less.
But she knows that she cannot be like this forever, she cannot stay with closed eyes for hours. It wouldn't change a thing, anyway, because if she hasn't remembered anything during those hours, she won't remember it now. Oh, and also she really needs to use a bathroom.
So with a deep breath in, she finally opens her eyes. But once the light reaches her eyes, she closes them again – the light is blinding and it makes her head throb even more. She takes a deep breath, encouraging herself and her eyes open again, close and open until they finally get used to the light and she can see what's around her.
She slowly sits up , everything spins for a moment but she grips the blanket, fists it trying to keep the balance until the spinning stops, and then everything is clear and not moving, she slowly looks around the room: the walls and ceiling of the room are white, a huge window is right in front of her but she doesn't concentrate on it, doesn't care what's happening out of the window right now. First of all, she needs to understand where she is and who she is.
It's an unknown room to her.
Regina takes a long, deep breath, panicking won't change a thing, it won't bring her memories, she reminds herself, and turns her head to the side. There are three more empty beds in the room, all of their bedding are the same.
She's in the hospital.
She has no memory of herself but she's one hundred percent sure she's in the hospital.
Her eyes close on their own as her thoughts go crazy again. She lets her headache kill her for a moment as she tries to remember something, anything. But it's useless, her head is empty. She remembers names of things, activities and all the other stuff but she doesn't remember a single thing about herself.
How is it even possible?
Suddenly she hears a swish and her eyes open instantly, wide and searching for the cause of the sound. She looks around the room quickly, it increases her headache but it doesn't stop her and then she finds a man sitting at the corner of the room, on a brown leather couch. He looks worried but she can see a small smile on his face.
"You're finally awake," The man states quietly.
Although his voice is gentle, it makes her headache a little bit worse. But she cannot think about headache right now, at first she needs to find out who he is and who she is.
"Who are you?" She asks with an inhale, her voice shaking just a little bit. The man looks at her with no emotion on his face and she waits quietly for his reply, maybe he's thinking, maybe he tries to find a way to explain everything to her, but after a few moments the silence surrounds them and it's not one of those comfortable silence, so she asks again, "Are you my husband? "
"No," This time the answer is instant, he doesn't hesitate.
She groans, falls back on the bed and closes her eyes for a moment, exhaling. This is so bad. This whole situation is such a mess. Does she have a husband? What' if she has a child? How old is she? Who is she? Does she have a job? Where is she from?
She has so many questions that need to be answered as soon as possible and deep down she hopes that this man sitting in front of her will be able to answer them – he has to know her, he wouldn't be here if he didn't . Otherwise, she may go crazy.
And suddenly, out of nowhere, there are tears in her eyes. But she squeezes her eyes and inhales, exhales and inhales again, trying to calm herself down, to keep herself together. She will not do it. She will not cry. She needs to be calm and try to remember who she is.
She's pulled out of her thoughts when she hears the man moving and when she opens her eyes and sits up again, she finds him walking out of the room. She feels dumbfounded – why did he leave without saying anything? – but then, before she can do something, he's back with another man( a doctor, she thinks) behind him.
"Hello, how are you feeling?" The man in white, the doctor, walks closer to her, takes her hand and gives it a light squeeze. "I'm Dr Drew." He says kindly, as if she's a child.
"I'm confused and tired," She answers without missing a beat and the doctor nods his head. He then takes a light out of his hospital gown and lights her eyes, checks her pulse and does all the other stuff while she lies there and stares at the other man standing at the end of her bed.
Who is he? Does she know him?
"Do you remember anything?" The doctor asks suddenly making her look away from the mysterious man to him and it makes her headache a little bit worse when it was a few moments ago.
"I know my name," She says, "I'm Regina Mills, but that's all,"
"Okay, that's good, very good, actually. We're going to run some tests tomorrow but now you need rest. We'll try to find your family as well." He assures her and Regina sighs, that's good. Of course, hospital is going to find her family and then everything will be so much easier. "If you need something, just press the red button."
When Regina nods her head, doctor smiles, tells her to stay as calm as possible, assures her that everything's going to be fine and then turns around, mouths something to that mysterious man and walks out of the room.
Regina groans and closes her eyes, trying to stop her thoughts (her headache is killing her) but her quiet, peaceful moment is ruined when she hears steps. Her eyes open widely as she looks at the man and tries to find that red button which doctor talked about in case this man tries to do something to her.
But he doesn't look like he's up to something because he pulls a chair, puts it beside her bed and sits down on it, smiles. He should be aware of her reaction because after a beat he says, "You don't have to be afraid of me,"
"Why?" She asks. Her voice sounds strong and confident, it surprises her a bit. She should've been a very strong woman in the past, she thinks.
"Because we're in the middle of the hospital," He replies simply and looks at her for a moment but then his eyes leave her and travel somewhere else. She tries to follow his gaze and looks there as well and her eyes catch a drip which is half-empty. How hasn't she seen it before?
She groans. Suddenly Regina understands why she isn't stressing out or having a panic attack. They've drugged her. And maybe she shouldn't be happy about it, but she is. She's so happy that she's this calm, she has time to think with a clearer head.
"My name is Robin. Robin Lockley," She hears the man saying and she moves her gaze from the drip to him. He's smiling again, a small, unsure smile but it's there.
"I'm Regina…" She replies but then shakes her head, he probably knows her name already. He knows her – she hopes – and he can answer all of her questions. "Do you know me?" She asks then but the man shakes his head.
Her eyes widen in response – what is he doing here if he doesn't know her? – and she tries to breathe, she tries to take deep, calm breaths but tears are already filling her eyes. She feels so disappointed, so damn disappointed.
But she will not cry.
"What are you doing here, then?" She asks, blinking for a few times until tears disappear from her eyes.
"Well, I found you and brought you here. I thought it would be nice to stay and make sure you're okay," He shrugs and she frowns a bit. He found her? Found her where? Was she alone?
But she doesn't say anything, she just sighs and lets her thoughts run again. Sadness is filling her heart, any chances to know who she really disappeared, no one will help her to put the missing pieces together, but she stays calm, not even a single tear runs down her cheek (she thanks drugs for it).
"Can you tell me more about how you found me?" She asks, trying to keep her breathing under control.
He nods his head, inhales and tells her, "I found you in the forest, I have no idea what you were doing there. Your clothes were dirty, you were crying, kept shouting that you don't remember who you are and you don't understand what's happening to you and then you passed out,"
"Seems like a great story," She puts her hands on her face and closes her eyes again, inhaling, exhaling and inhaling again. It's such a mess. She needs to find out the truth. She needs to know who she really is. She will go insane.
But she stops her train of thoughts, presses her lips together, inhales through her nose and opens her eyes again. Robin is looking at her with a frown but she manages to smile, a small thing but it's something, and says, "Thank you for saving me,"
"You don't need to thank me," He assures her, smiling. His eyes meet hers, and they stare into each other's eyes without saying a single word. But then the man is shaking his head to himself, he moves his gaze away and says, "Well, now when I'm sure you're okay, I should probably go home,"
The man – Robin, his name is Robin, Regina reminds herself – gives her a small smile and then he stands up. For a moment Regina feels a little bit sad, he's a stranger, she knows, but it's better to be with a complete stranger than to be left alone with her thoughts. But she also knows that he cannot stay here forever.
But somehow it feels inappropriate to let him go just like that, he saved her life, after all, so she inhales and before he can reach the handle of the door, she says, "Thank you, Robin,"
His hand drops and he slowly turns around. "You said it already," He states with a small smile on his face.
"I really appreciate what you did," She admits, her gaze drops down to her hand, suddenly she feels so insecure. If it wasn't him, no one knows where she would be now.
"Well, you're welcome, then." He smiles at her one more time. "And I really hope you get your memory back soon." He adds but then before she has to a chance to look up at him again, he's already out of the room.
As soon as the door is closed behind him, Regina falls back on the bed and puts her hands on her face, groaning in desperation. She has no memory of herself, she has no memory of her life. Her head is throbbing and she's so damn tired but she needs to figure out at least one thing before she's falling asleep again.
What is she going to do now?
(...)
Thoughts? Should I continue it or not?