"So...what are you going to say?"

"I don't know, Phoebe! That depends on what he says."

"But, I mean... If he wants to get back together, what will you say?"

"...I don't know! It..."

"Do you want to get back together?"

That was the question, wasn't it. And she supposed there was only one answer. She deflated. "Of course I do. But it's not that simple. I want to be with him, but I just don't want things to be like they were before. I don't think I could cope with things ending that way again."

"...Well I mean Helga... Obviously there's no guarantee that you'll stay together if you get together again." Helga winced at the truth of that. "But you can try and make things different to before. You've matured so much; I know things will be different on your side. Talk to him, tell him your concerns. I'm sure he'll be willing to try harder too."

Helga nodded. Phoebe made it sound so simple. "Of course, that's assuming he doesn't just want to tell me to get lost."

Phoebe frowned. "I think that's highly unlikely, considering his behaviour." She glanced around furtively and leaned towards Helga. "And Gerald told me Arnold's been 'totally hung up' over you."

Helga felt her heart inflate. "He has?" Godammit, what even was that Disney tone of voice.

Phoebe nodded with a conspiratorial smile.

Feeling unusually demonstrative thanks to Harold's vodka, Helga leaned into her friend on the couch on wrapped her in a hug. "Thanks, Pheebs. Whatever happens with me and Arnold, I'm always happy I have you. And I promise I'll try not to be such a pain in the ass about it all this time."

Phoebe giggled and hugged her tipsy friend back. "You were never a pain in the ass."

Helga snorted.

"Hey!" came Arnold's cheery voice. They parted to see him standing behind the couch, a smile on his face. "Sorry to interrupt. Phoebe, do you mind if I borrow Helga for a bit?"

She smiled and shook her head. "Of course not. I'll just go and keep Gerald company." And she got up to go join him.

Helga smiled awkwardly at Arnold, assuming he was about to sit down beside her, but he cleared his throat and said, "Uhm...do you mind if we go somewhere more private? Just don't really want everyone trying to eavesdrop. Maybe my room?"

Oh God. Helga gulped. "Sure." So she got up with slightly shaky legs and they left the room, a few pairs of nosey eyes on them. The drink that she'd downed was so strong, stuff was spinning a little, but she still felt more or less in control.

They didn't really say anything to each other as they ascended the stairs, each nervous and in their own thoughts. Arnold tripped a bit on the top step, and Helga snorted. "You drunk, Arnoldo?"

What she didn't expect was for his ears to redden. "A little. Rhonda kept offering me some of her vodka and cranberry, and I was feeling nervous, so..."

She laughed, and tried not to think about Rhonda's motivations for plying Arnold with alcohol. "Well, at least I'm not the only tipsy one. Since when do you drink?"

He shrugged. "Well there's no real drinking age in San Lorenzo, so the kids there used to drink loads of pisco and beer. I didn't join in very often, especially since my parents didn't like it, but I used to have beer sometimes."

It occurred to Helga that he had lived a very unusual life for the past few years. She hoped it hadn't included too many beautiful native girls.

They reached his attic room, and the tension was palpable as they entered. It had barely changed a bit since the last time she'd been here, the day he'd broken up with her. The cloying pain of the memory bit at her. Determined to avoid the bed, Helga went to sit on his red couch, and Arnold followed her lead, sitting beside her.

He took a deep breath. "Helga, I am so sorry for the way I left things. I... We'd been through so much, and in the end I just ran away. You deserved better than that."

Helga tightened her mouth against the emotion she was was feeling. She'd waited years for that apology, but never really expected to receive it. "So you... So you did leave because of us?" Because of me.

Arnold looked away from her, starting down at his hand. "Partly. Ever since I found my parents, I'd been considering it. But...when I made the decision to break up..." Helga's heart twinged. "...I thought it might be better for both of us to get some distance. But...it was a lot harder than I thought. I left everything behind, not just you. And I missed you so much." His voice was thick.

Helga felt overwhelmed. She had always feared that he had just been glad to be rid of her. "I missed you too," she said quietly, and they sat in silence for a few moments. She wondered if he was struggling with the same urge to touch.

He looked at her then, pain in his eyes. "Then why didn't you write back?"

She looked down at her lap; she'd been fearing this question. "Because I didn't know what to say. I couldn't be pen-pals with you. It... And I know I was far from blameless in the scenario, but you broke my heart," she admitted, barely able to force the words out. "It took me a long time to...get back to myself afterwards. And I knew if I kept writing you, I just wouldn't be able to get over you. I'm sorry."

He nodded glumly. "I was figuring it might have been something like that. At least, I was hoping it wasn't because you hated me."

"Well... I did hate you a little. Or a lot, at times. Depended on the day."

He laughed a bit. "Well I deserved it." He shook his head. "I still don't really understand how we got things so messed up, when we get along so well and...cared about each other so much."

Helga gave a sad smile. "We were both very young. I got too jealous, and you...had a tendency to take me for granted a little." She shook her head. "I'm sorry I was so insecure. I knew you weren't the type of guy to stray, but it was like I had this jealous monster in me and I took it out on you." Her eyes were tearing up in guilt and shame at her behaviour; she sniffed and wiped her eyes with her hand, make-up coming off. Great, now she was going to look like a mess and a basket-case.

He grabbed her other hand where it sat on the couch. "Hey, no. I never should have given you so much reason to feel insecure. And anyway, I didn't bring you up here to talk about the past or make us feel bad. I wanted to talk about...where we go from here. Or actually...I wanted to beg you to give me another shot."