"You're a Hufflepuff," Tony stated simply to Bruce one morning, sipping on a rancid smelling cup of coffee. "And, apparently, creative scheming is better left to us Ravenclaws, who actually possess more than half a brain and a boring personality."

Bruce looked decidedly unimpressed as he sipped his tea and took in Tony's dark eye bags, "Been thinking about this for awhile, have you?"

Tony ignored his jibe and went to pour himself a drink, before remembering that all of his alcohol was gone. He heaved a sigh and collapsed onto the couch.

"I always pictured myself a Ravenclaw, personally," Bruce muttered thoughtfully as he added another spoon of sugar.

Tony looked him over and snorted, "Nah, you're a pansy my friend."

Bruce rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee. "Well, if I'm a Hufflepuff, then so is Clint. He's even more of a pansy than I am."

"Don't let him hear you say that."

"Too late," Clint muttered as he jumped gracefully down from where he had been crawling in the heating vents. "Why the hell am I a Hufflepuff?"

"They're particularly good finders," Tony mocked.

Clint sighed and replied, "Whatever I am, it can't be worse than what Nat is."

"Oh, however did you guess?" Tony sang in a mocking voice. "Our dear friend Nat can be nothing but a Slytherin."

Clint snickered. "Don't let her hear you say that."

An awkward silence soon followed. Clint had speared the nearest muffin with one of his arrows and was proceeding to glare at Tony as he ate it.

"I guess we're housemates then? At least according to the Harry Potter series." Bruce blurted out, looking slightly embarrassed. Then again, Bruce always looked embarrassed and flustered and generally awkward.

"Harry Potter?" Questioned a loud voice as Thor strode into the room. "I have heard Jane and Darcy speak of this Harry Potter before. Apparently he attends a school of magic!"

"That's right Point-Break," Tony agreed, nodding his approval and spreading his arms out in an overdramatic gesture, "And you, my large and hairy blond thunder god, are most certainly from the noble house of Gryffindor."

Thor looked very pleased with himself. The team had started to drift into the room, and Tony was delighted with his new crop of victims.

"All hail the queen of the serpents!" He intoned in a deep voice as Nat sauntered into the room and sat down next to Clint. She simply stuck her tongue out at him.

It was only when Captain America came into the room that all hell broke loose. He walked purposefully towards the kitchen and grabbed a blueberry muffin as the eyes of the team followed him.

"Gryffindor," Clint stated, and everyone agreed.

Steve paused and looked at the rest of the team questioningly. "Gryffindor? What's that?" The smug looks on the faces of the rest of the team clued him in pretty quickly. "Is this one of those things that I missed while I was frozen?"

Tony shook his head. "If only you knew, my friend. If only."

Letting out a disgruntled sigh, Steve flopped down onto the nearest kitchen chair, "Just spit it out already."

Putting a hand on Captain's shoulder, Tony grinned, "Why Star and Stripes, I thought you'd never ask!"

That's how Tony got Steve to read Harry Potter. He hasn't come out of his room in days.

DISCLAIMER: WE HAVE NOTHING AGAINST ANY OF THE HOUSES; WE'RE JUST BOTH BIASED CAUSE WE'RE RAVENCLAWS AND ALSO TONY'S A DRAMA QUEEN, LET'S BE HONEST.